chik confusing me!!

[Unsigned Hype]

dear mashadites,this is where i get most of my help frm all type of advice without bias.Now my gal is at it again!!!..she says she needs tyme alone n i idnt knw how or why. bt here are sme facts..oflate upto septmber we were on gud terms but since then afew things have happened.
1.her twin got a baby n the guy ran for the hills
2.i got some projects upcountry to do n got busy for lyk 2 weeks so we couldnt see each other that was towards the end of sept.although 1 weekend i offerd to go wit her bt she refused admantly without inaf reasons.
3.wen i finished i came bk to the city n she was changed person...she delays replying my messages .avoids to see me..pretends she has forgotten our dates n all that.i have to admit that this was the most humiliatin experience i have gone thru.although she said while i was away her dad called her aside n gave her a lengthy lecture coz of her siz n her dad even cried.so she said we shuold go slow on matters of sex n all that
4.my contract ended wit my company at the end of august tho i'm doin my side thing to keep me busy n get sme cash.

wats mo confusing is she says tha problm not me.i even brot abt the issue of wether she is seeing sme1 else bt obviuosly she denied n says she wants to be alone.we've been together 4 close totwo years n evrything ha been ok tho afew kawa problems here n there....wat i cant seem to understand is can agirl just walk out on you just like that.???i mean its jus confusing cz 1 month later she says she fill she stills wants to be alone.iasked her wether i should move on n she was lyk she cant tell mi that n she would hate to see me wit onother gal. so pls esp u ladies can u help me get to unravel wat all this could be.coz i cant rily get to the bottom of it pleeeeeaaaase!!!!!!

[Jerry D]

I had posted some problem and some chic gave an advice NOT related to the problem I posted. I think if we twist gender, her advice can somehow be of help to you.

In that problem the chic who offered the advice understood that the gentleman in question wanted to be alone sometime in the past but was NOW ready to go back to his girlfriend. Here is what she was telling the presumed girlfriend:

Diagnose this feeling

Generally whenever a partner decides to take a break from a relationship to sort out his personal issues, more often than not, his partner comprises one of the 'personal issues' he is attempting to resolve...

At this point, its recommended a woman succinctly clarify with the guy that their relationship cannot be put on hold, that they should both be free to move on with their lives...At this juncture a woman should quickly progress to 'mourning' the end of her relationship and with equal speed, open herself to the possibility of dating other people who hopefully, will keep them in their lives when they 'sort out their personal issues'.

At no point, should this woman entertain the possibility of getting back with this man, or wait for him.. no, for she was 'dumped'..if they are to get back together, it must be after she has been with another person.. its the least she can do for herself after having been rendered 'irrelevant' by this man....

Women, it cant be emphasized enough to learn to love ourselves...

Emphasis mine.

Please replace the genders in the above quote and see how true it is in your case.

In summary, JUST MOVE ON!

[Devine]

Just give her the space she needs. Whether to put the relationship on hold or move on is up to you.

[msema ukweli Kabisa]

Unsigned hype i am sorry to break the news to you but my boy its so so so over. The only thing she doesn't know how to is tell you to your face. So let me do some translation and sorry for being cold.....

• i need some time alone.......... this means i cant stand being with you. You suffocate me and i dont want to be anywhere near you

• not picking up your calls or replying your sms This is what she says when you call. Arghhh can't this negro get a hint. I am so done with him

• forgetting dates..... its not forgetting its called ignoring and being stood up. She better watch paint dry than take a mat and come to be with you

• lets go slow on sex..... i will bet you have not tasted those goods since you came back from the project. Ati her dad giving her a sex talk, lol........ All she is telling you is that you will never ever ever tap those things ever again

• you ask her if you are allowed to move on and she tells you she cant tell you that, then the crutch is ati she would feel bad if you were with another chic.......... Translation is she does not give a hoot about what you do as long as you live her alone.. The last statement is called pity talk... Just a step away from telling you. Go fwack yourself for all i care

Now I know love is not a switch that can just be turned off if things don't work. For me what I would advise you is save what is left of you and that is pride.... Just call her and tell her that you have decided not only to give her sometime but after some thought you have decided actually that you are done with her..... Trust me its still gonna hurt as much.

Then start working on your life...... You short term project that was keeping you busy is done.... So start major hustling to get another project and if not even just volunteer for stuff. Key word is keep yourself busy coz that is the major cure of heartbreak for a man....and after like 3 months start looking around and just do some light dating.

Good luck my boy and pole for breaking it down to you like that.... No need to torture you with over analysis

And that was Dr MUK love advise

[Dem Gal]

Woiyee dude, its over. I would say that there's a 95% chance that it's over. I wouldn't wait around for the 5% chance that its not. Pole sana.

Good analysis Dr MUK.

[miss foxy]

Dr muk really hit the nail on the head,..dude u need to move on,cos that chic wants to break up with u,she probably just know how to do it without hurting ur feelings,so just do both of u a favour and call it quits....sorry to be so blunt.

[Unsigned Hype]

Thanks guys for being so insightful on this ..i knew i could rely on you people.as much as I would like to be sorry 4 myself it just the naked truth.1 more thing that is really disgusting me is this same gal is still txting n calling me now n then..ati "I was just checking on you hope you doin fyn blah blah sh#@@t..." .aint this js too much.Y check on sme1 u dont need in your lyfe n how the heck does she expect me to be doin fyn when she js broke my heart so terribly...its js so so humiliating. all in all i txtd her yesterday n told her to live her life be happy n forget abt me n i hope she will treat her man(cz probably she's seeing sme1 else!) with more respect.

[YB*]

Originally Posted by Unsigned Hype

all in all i txtd her yesterday n told her to live her life be happy n forget abt me n i hope she will treat her man(cz probably she's seeing sme1 else!) with more respect.

You made the best move, but because its a reaction, you might forget why you did it. Meaning the doors are wide open for her to walk back in sometime later to disrupt your life. So make sure you remember.

You gonna need one heck of a backbone to get thru this. Wish you all the best.

[jogich]

I rate myself as expirienced in gals matters..so one thingy dude u need to do is accept the rlationship is over..wat she is doin right now is sampling others while clingin to u just incase it dont work out wd others..i hd a chic once who asked me for she needs a time out in the relaionshp..i told her gal am a give u all the time u need but be reassured u wont find me waitin for u here..that really straightened her...izaah bro.

[Unsigned Hype]

Originally Posted by jogich

I rate myself as expirienced in gals matters..so one thingy dude u need to do is accept the rlationship is over..wat she is doin right now is sampling others while clingin to u just incase it dont work out wd others..i hd a chic once who asked me for she needs a time out in the relaionshp..i told her gal am a give u all the time u need but be reassured u wont find me waitin for u here..that really straightened her...izaah bro.

thax 4 that jogich,coz that must be really the sh@t that she is doin.bt i wount allow ma self to be 1 of the samples.I think she's js 1 heck of blunder in my lyf cz she's js called me this morning n she was lyke.." i got urmessage yssterdy,wat du you mean by that.." I js told her to re-read that text carefully n she will understand.she hs even deactivated her fb account.