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the-undergraduate

• July 29, 2009
• 3:47

  To the light,to the light

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Ouch!!My nephew aka 1.5year old mini me is at it again!!He always wakes me up whenever he has a craving for sprite,do they have rehab for that?
  Today he must have come earlier than usual and i couldnt really be bothered to wake up at that hour.I swear it way too early cos even my cock,albeit being an imaginary one,hadnt began to crow.At this point i should probably make it clear that i am refering to a rooster so y'all get your minds out of the gutter...am not talking about the belt either!!I give up trying to clarify things,so....
  After trying to wake me up for a couple of minutes,he resorted to what he always does when he's in tantrum mode...trashing the room by throwing whatever he can lay his hands on the floor.Unfortunately,today everything was directed towards my bed.It was all good at first cos he mainly tossed books,shoes and other light stuff i could sleep through until....he decided to go get some backup!!
  uuuuuuwwwwiiiii!!Next thing i know ive been hit!!oooooh the agony!!He must have stumbled on one of those huge gate padlocks and he squared me right below the knee...
  ''To the light,to the light....yo Angel Gabriel aka G,let me through!Oh is that Mj?!Salute to the glove brother!!
  Yo!Biggie and Tupac rolling together?Are you guys bestfriends now?
  Oh left eye,pst!I see you found your right eye...''
  I think i might have seen my hometown's man trying to get a piece of the golden gate for resale purposes right before Angel G said my file hadnt yet been processed and as a result i was ordered to back up and take a trip downstairs!Jeez!!How many stairs am i expected to walk in a week,ud think theyd have an elevator up in H-town (heaven) huh?!
  
  So am back to darkness...and when i finally open my eyes i see his toothy grin,a sure sign of just how proud he was of this latest achievement!!
  Not one to wait and see what would happen next,i limp out of bed with my newly acquired migraine,serve him his addiction and get back to bed to rest my headache.
  Half an hour later he was back,this time with some coins he must have been saving up and in an attempt to suprise me...he threw them at me...*sigh* landing on the same spot :(
  Is this a sign i need to start repenting?!
  
  Am gonna miss him alot when he goes back home in the coming weeks
• July 28, 2009
• 15:06

  Tuesday

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Today turned out to be CRAP!!
  The only meaningful thing i did was collect my undergrad degree certificate!Judging by the kind of cheap paper they printed it in not forgetting that most of it,is in black and white,id say those guys are really undermining the four years we spent in that campus!!
  My high school certificates even look way better and more authentic!!So...+4 years of lectures,assignments,termpapers,community service and projects comes down to a piece of black and white printout with a barely there seal Nkt!!
  And what i hoped wouldnt happen did infact rear its ugly head so plans for jan might be shelved for a while if the situation doesnt resolve itself!!
  
  But all the above isnt really that important!!Today am just praying and hoping my aunt will be ok.Diabetes management seems to be harder than i previously thought and i hate that everytime she gets the slightest wound even something as small as being pricked by a thorn lands her in hospital because they dont heal by themselves :(
  
  I hope someone somewhere will discouver a cure soon cos the cases of diabetes even among young people seem to be on the rise
• July 27, 2009
• 15:52

  Taking a walk down the staircase...how far is down?

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Oh boy!!my current playlist is a downer!!When going through a blue funk Daville-in heaven,Tanya stevens-this streets and Corinne Bailey Rae-like a star are the last songs you want playing back to back...heaven has surely been away too long like miss Rae said :(
  
  Our Kid....you were right when you said things can only go down hill from here on....
  I wish you werent so on point
  
  Tommorow is meant to be a good day but i aint smilling cos of some stuff i came to discouver.Am crossing my fingers that too doesnt go down south cos it'll somewhat determine what i'll be doing in Jan!!
  
  Speaking of which,why do most good B-schools ask for atleast 3years experience at managerial level before you can apply for an mba!!Jeez!!i get that they assume with experience you'll be better prepared for the course,but do they ever consider unemployment levels could be the reason a majority of applicants decide to go back to school?!!who in their right mind would opt to resign from a well paid senior management level job to go back to school on this continent where such posts arent guaranteed to come by twice!!I even saw a few stating that the average age of their mba students is 29!!Am not an avid follower of the tags placed on age but 29?!That's one year to 30....kinda tricky trying to juggle school and careers especially if your plan is to go abroad at a time when our societal expectations are that you're meant to be settling down!!
  
  My local options aint that varied and the thought of going back to my alma mater aka undergrad school isnt appealing either cos after four years i need a break!So either way it'll be about settling....a different career path vs unappealing program....a sure sign august graduation is drawing near!Now i kinda wish i was going back to school in september cos boredom will drive me insane *sigh*
  
  School stress,plus stress za maisha,plus what a good friend called unnecessary stress that always leave me sad not forgetting what happens tomorrow = me needing a breather
  
  And to cap it all 'i am ready for love,why are you hiding from me,id quickly give my freedom to be held in your captivity,i am ready for love,all of the joy and the pain, and all the time that it'd take just to stay in your good grace' India Arie is the last song i listen to tonight!!!Tell me iTunes aint purposely taunting me!!lmao!!
  But on a final note if 'they say watch what you ask for cos you might recieve' am sure about this last one....cos in my heart i trully believe it would make all else bearable
• July 26, 2009
• 14:03

  I dont have to be supergirl to ...

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  I dont have to be supergirl to the world,
  But to those that really matter,
  Am the girl with super powers
• July 22, 2009
• 16:46

  :)

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Today has been a good day
  Nothing special happened but ive been smilling and laughing so much my jaws hurt
  I wish everyday would be like today
  Come to think about it,who am i to say it wasnt special when i really needed this kinda break :)
  From this point it can only get better right?
  Am thankful for everything good that happens,nothing's a given right so i'll savour every moment of it
  
  
  To my regular and new readers,thanks
  You always give me a pick me up whenever i need it
• July 21, 2009
• 15:23

  Proud moment

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  I found my tearjerking clip.well...nothing to be proud of and i didnt really cry.Been watching kyle xy and i still think Josh and Andy aka cancer girl are the cutest couple on tv!
  Maybe am still stuck in teenage romance ideas but i kinda admire the cute innocence of such relationships devoid of many of the complications that come with regular ''grown up'' relationships!i miss the days when you could wake up excited about spending a day with a loved one without the excessive worry about whether at the end of the day they'd still be at your side looking at you in the same loving way they did when you first met.Unfortunately,as most of my friends can attest,such days are long gone and relationships are hardly based on love.There's an even larger group that doesnt believe in relationships and would rather flow with the moment and feign amnesia when it gets rocky.sad!!that's why i choose to believe that kind of love still exists cos ive seen it blossom among those who choose run with it
• July 20, 2009
• 17:06

  words to life

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  People often regret alot of things,the worst being the question of what could have been.
  Egoes play alot into this category,where its simply easier to brush a few unpleasantries beneath the carpet hoping theyll stay put if only till you find alternatives to salvage your pride
  If there ever was an over used phrase in my primary school headmistress' talks it was that 'pride comes before a fall'.Back then it used to hit all the wrong notes and we all termed it as malicious slander.Today i see the wisdom of it all,to this day am never afraid to stay humble especially in situations that am not well versed on the fact.
  You never know what'll sneak out of the corner,you never know who you'll find sitted on the high seat,but for as long as you require something,swallow your pride and by all means never forget those you meet along the way,there might come a day when you'll need them
• July 18, 2009
• 5:58

  The way my life's turning out scares ...

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  The way my life's turning out scares me
  Feels like am just a by stander watching a scene unfold
  Rather than wait to see what happens next
  Id prefer to keep myself busy
  I just want to find my source of happiness
  A way to lessen the loneliness
  Have fun and conceal it all in a smile
  What happens next shall take care of itself
  What happens next i would rather not spend my time worrying about
• July 17, 2009
• 12:39

  Color me black,color me white

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Life rarely has definite black and white lines
  It's always grey,sometimes a lighter shade of black,others a darker shade of white
  
  Am just looking for the plain black,the plain white
  Treading on the in between leads only but to misery
  
  I have no interest in the experimental either
  I just want the real thing
  Perfect or not
  In my eyes it's as good as it gets
  In my world no imperfections exist
• July 14, 2009
• 17:52

  Twinkle twinkle little star A ...

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Twinkle twinkle little star
  
  A crack in the dark night sky lets through just enough light to restore hope
  
  The sky with her blanket full of diamonds twinkles as stars shine so bright
  
  Twinkle twinkle little star,oh i wonder how you are
• July 13, 2009
• 17:27

  Am excited about how life will be ...

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Am excited about how life will be like after school.i didnt ever think that life out of campus could be fun but now am actually looking forward to it.
  I can barely wait to be done
  I hope someday i'll look back at this post and smile
  I hope someday i'll be living my dreams
  
  A new chapter begins but it's all part of the same story...you learn along the way,pick up tips and keep what works,preserve what enriches,live for everyday that comes along
• July 12, 2009
• 13:25

  Am embarrased by the kind of things ...

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Am embarrased by the kind of things ive done and said in the name of love but that doesnt seem to deter me :)
  I guess sometimes you realize you have nothing to loose by trying :p
  .Or maybe its just fun cos if you cant sit back and laugh at some of the stuff youve already done wouldnt it mean you're leading a rather dull/boring life :)
  
  I dont know what's happening to me but of late my undergrad degree is starting to make sense!!Just when i was ready to jump boat and switch careers,this happens!!Aaaaargh!!
  Maybe i could find something to complement it so it could after all be a good thing
  Seems i'll end up having a regular job someday like most people.I always assumed id do the extraordinary but such dreams only live on to a certain age or stage in life and when reality kicks in its a sure sign of growing up.
  Maybe i dont really have to sacrifice the rest cos i could do with ''extraordinary'' hobbies and atleast that way i wont stand the risk of getting bored of doing the stuff i like on a daily basis.
• July 11, 2009
• 16:42

  Twenty to midn8

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Often it's said you dont know what you have till it's gone
  
  But
  
  You also never know what you've been missing till you get it :)
• July 10, 2009
• 17:27

  L.O.V.E

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Love can overwhelm you
  Love can lead you to do crazy stuff
  Love can be sweet
  Love can be the wind beneath your wings
  
  Love cares not about keeping a record of wrongs
  Love worries little about flaws
  Love can make you believe in the superhuman qualities
  Love isnt moved by time
  Love doesnt give much to distance
  
  Love is but a pact between two
  Love moulds you into the best you could ever be
  Love celebrates your achievements
  Love provides a comfort in times of need
  
  
  
  Love lost on the other hand can crash you
  The pain of loosing love can never equal another
  If you trully did love,then the pain never seems to go away
  It becomes a craving only one can satisfy
  A gaping hole is your heart that only seems to grow bigger
  You might smile,you might laugh
  You may try to conceal it
  But the sadness always lingers on like a shadow that wont let you be
  
  
  
  I celebrate love everyday
  Am happy for those in love
  But for the rest of us nursing some wounds....sorry doesnt do it so......join my mushy club lol!
  Bring out the love songs,pull out the romance movies,read/write love poetry,join all the ''love is...50 ways to know he/she loves you...i love LOVE....I love my boo...what every kiss means'' etc facebook groups,tease the newly formed couples,play shrink to those experiencing jitters and just have your fun with love.I promise it'll make you feel better,well just a little bit right before you get back to reality and realize,OMG i dont have that!!
  
  LOVE SICK MADNESS CONTINUES......
  
  I love LOVE cos love makes you feel loved,love makes you want to love,love makes you wanna share love,love makes you feel really in love,love LOVES to L.O.V.E
  Love conquers all,love makes eternity seem abit too short cos when your in love time seems to fly
• July 09, 2009
• 5:50

  I thought chics who watch soaps were ...

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  I thought chics who watch soaps were crazy till i realized am worse off after months of tv series.I need to find a cure soon cos i think am now way too mushy.
  Am back to believing love can be pure and real.I think i now know a whole lot about relationships that i didnt know a while back.You cant really blame me cos most of us run with no compas when it comes to dating.You get into the mix of things and hope to figure it out along the way.Sometimes you do,sometimes you mess up and hope the other has the patience to let you get off the ground and try again.Such are the times when you realize just how much you mean to them.
  Up to now am still not sure whether having been converted into a hopeless romantic is such a good thing.But until i find a cure for my mushiness,i shant be teasing couples who hold hands,dress alike,go for picnics,leave love notes for each other,cry after watching cheesy romance flicks te he he!!Am all for love,all for big and subtle love gestures,all for settling the in between drama,all for believing that fairtales do come true :)
  
  I however can never be classified together with soap chics cos some of those story lines are just wrong and overdone.But who am i to judge,if thats where they get their daily dose.Love makes the world go round :))
• July 08, 2009
• 8:41

  we go through trials in life to ...

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  we go through trials in life to remind us to give thanks for what we have
  even though it might seem like a 'moving the mountain' task,nothing is ever too hard,nothing is impossible
  when you feel like giving up,always remember there's someone out there,
  maybe a couple million who would be willing to help if only you asked
• July 07, 2009
• 18:38

  R.I.P. 'Michael Mj' Jackson

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  ''You and i must make a pack,
  We must bring salvation back,
  Where there is love,I'll be there
  I'll reach out my hand to you
  I'll have faith in all you do
  Just call my name and i'll be there''
  
  This was one of the 1st MJ songs i fell in love with...
  Years later...
  ''if you should ever find someone new,i know he better be good to you,cos if he doesnt i'll be there'' this line made me cry a couple of times when i had my heart broken cos it trully showed what self less love is about.Loving someone so much your willing to wish them well in whatever comes after
  
  I heard 'Ben' the morning after he died...
  ''the two of us need look no more,we both found what we were looking for,with a friend to call my own,i'll never be alone and you my ben will see you've got a friend in me''
  This took me back to when i was three years old.Back then the world as i saw it through my innocent eyes was perfect and things seemed destined to only get better
  ''i used to say i and me,now its us now its we''
  Isnt that what it feels like when yot meet your very first bestfriend *sigh*
  
  ''well i tried to write a special song,a love song just for you,to explain the way you make me feel inside,though the meaning maybe simple,and the words may not be new,i couldnt make it better if i tried''
  This was a hit song when i was around 9-10 years old,my aunt had just died on my birthday and i remember just how sad everyone was.I hated seeing my cousins so sad and i remember the youngest one who was in class 8 at the time kept replaying ''i need you and i couldnt live a day without you,i need you more than anyone could ever know''.That was also the year my birthday jinx started and for many years it became the friday 13th in my family.
  
  ''ABC its easy as 123 or simple as doh reh mi,baby you and me girl'' who can forget the days when colored television and Ktn hit the scene.All of a sudden i didnt have to wait till 4pm for Kbc to start broadcasting.How I loved the Ktn sunday comedies :)
  
  ''Aint no sunshine when she's gone,it's not warm when she's away,aint no sunshine when she's gone and she's always gone too long anytime she goes away'' this just spells out Kbc movies like Cookamanga or whatever that camp movie was called and the others too like parent trap and first kid.They made you dream about endless possibilities
  
  ''Billie Jean is not my lo8e,she's a girl who says i am the one,the kid is not my son'' this takes me back to my last semester as an undergrad.for the first time i was living alone.i cant help but think of my first time going to club velvet in westy cos the song was played atleast 3 times before midnight
  
  ''since you went away,dont you know that i sit around with my head hanging down,and i wonder who's loving you,i should have never made you cry since you went away,i sit around with my head hanging down,and i wonder who's loving you'' i guess one's obvious what it reminds me of
  
  ''Liberian girl,you know that you came and you changed my world,just like in the movies''
  This has got my last year in high school written all over it.Not just because the liberians in my school were full of drama but because id all of a sudden found myself in a completely new environment and started experiencing self doubt in certain issues
  
  ''oh baby give me one more chance to show you that i love you,wont you please let me back in your heart,oh darling i was blind to let you go'' i bet we all have that one person we wish would say this to us
  
  ''There's a choice were making and we're saving our own lives,it's true we make a better day just you and me'' arguably the most famous charity song,and with his music he did heal the world of parts of its wounds
  
  Goodbye Michael,Goodbye good old 90s flavour
  His death made me miss all those ive lost over the years,may you all rest in peace
• 4:27

  My two cents...just a thought

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  I need to find closure on certain things before my life can really move on
  There's some stuff where a random call,a random text wont suffice
  That's just too impersonal
  Sometimes a persons' reaction to certain things says more than words could ever express
  Sometimes facing the truth no matter how nasty it might be is better than not knowing
  Better than avoiding...
  But what happens if you cant get it....do you go through life looking for answers or at some point can you really drop and forget everything
• July 06, 2009
• 17:17

  Life

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  I like living,i love life
  It doesnt always go the way you want it to
  It doesnt always let you smile and be happy
  It doesnt always stay constant when you want it to
  But often it does give you a glimpse of the joy that could come your way
  It does present you with those rare moments so perfect they more than make up for all the dull times
  The times that life takes your breath away,blows your mind away reminding you how it feels like to be alive
• July 05, 2009
• 13:37

  5th July

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  This having been the reunion weekend,I enjoyed hanging out with my primo schoolmates some who i hadnt seen since 2001.
  People hadly changed if you skip the fact that most are now quite social and progressed from juice and soda to alcohol.Atleast this year people openly mixed and interacted freely unlike last year when people hangout in cliques.
  With there having been so many couples,some real others formed in a union of Tusker,i must admit i did feel abit envious.Jealous of those who were trully in love,jealous of those who had someone who genuinely adored them,someone who believed they were the most special person in this world
  
  I hope next year will be bigger and better being the 3rd annual reunion.We stick to what they taught us, to 'better our best'
• July 03, 2009
• 14:21

  27 hrs

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  I could have sworn today had atleast 27hrs!!Morning seems like it was days away and all i can remember is waking up to find mini-me aka my 1.5yr old nephew staring at me straight in the face.At first in my sleepy state i kinda thought my eyes had somehow turned inside out and i was staring at myself cos am not used to waking up to find someone in my bed.Just then i checked the time and realized it was almost 8am and today was when id decided to go out and treat myself to a birthday present since this year i didnt get to go out and satisfy my craze for gadgets.Got up and quickly rushed to shower and mini-me came running since he always wants to copy what i do.Told him i needed to shower and he should go watch telly instead but when i got out of the shower i found him sitted on the floor outside the door waiting for his turn.i knew he wouldnt leave peacefully so i let him wash his face and hands and locked the bathroom door just incase he got ideas about learning how to swim in the bath tub.He screamed,stamped his little feet then went running to his mum to report that i had denied him the opportunity to shower lol!Later i tried bribing him with sweets but those too ended up on the floor since he was still pissed :)
  So finally time to leave and i ran into our family friend who asked if we could 'step kando' since he had a question to ask me.we go outside and the first thing he says is ''tell me your secret'',my secret?''yeah how can i loose weight''.wooohoooo,i just started laughing...''come on,tell me how you did it,were friends arent we?and friends share secrets,right?'',how i did what??.i seriously had no idea what he was talking about and he told me how he'd tried everything from exercise to eating healthy but it wasnt working for him.Who knew men have issues with weight??Like seriously?I hardly ever notice any changes and when it happens all i do is go out and get better fitting clothes and move on with my life.Ok i have to admit the guys at the regular shops i visit give me a funny look on the occassions ive asked for a bigger size and that last time when i asked for a small size the chics gave me that head to toe look and said 'hatunanga hizo juu ni hard tena kuget' lol.Anyway,i told him i dont have a secret since am the same as ive always been and he wasnt satisfied so he started picking my brain trying to figure out what id done different.The only viable reason could be that my allergies had been acting up for a while so maybe being sick...forget it!he doesnt have allergies so that couldnt possibly work for him.which reminds me,if self diagnosis could be used to satisfy medical experience,the last six months would have been enough for me to qualify as a doctor.i went to the school clinic so often i practically knew what type of medicine theyd give for coughs,sneezing,soar throats etc.If only we could go back to the days of apprenticeship id now be rocking a white lab coat and a stethoscope *sigh*
  I get to town and dont know whether to get a phone with a good camera,still camera or video.Walked around for some hours and finally saw her,so pretty,so shiny and i knew i had to bring her home.who in their right mind could walk away from a 13.6 megapixel slim body piece of metal,plastic and glass.Time to go to the banker.I knew i was in for a finance management talk and possibly a security check cos for close to ten years i always withdrew on certain dates mainly in June but the last two weeks there's been way too many emergencies.I tried to rush cos it was almost closing time but just then as i walk past reinsurance what do i see...the perfect pair of shoes on the display and just had to walk in.Thats one adiction ive been battling this year and i blame it on mum for always complaining i didnt have proper shoes,my cousin for sending me shoes and some of my friends who said this year am not allowed to go anywhere with them if i keep wearing sports shoes.what's so wrong about sports shoes,it's all about comfort right?WRONG!!I grab those and have to almost run to beat the clock and get there just as the askari is about to lock the door and he waves his rungu as i dash in,phewks!!As predicted the teller dude asked about the withdrawals just to be sure my card hadnt been stolen.What i hate about co-op @ bomblast place is lack of privacy,everyone standing behind you hears what you shout through the glass and they dont even try to pretend they aint heard you!!Past the 21 Qs i finally went back for the camera and got home feeling like id developed flu like symptoms and at some point i thought id pass out.Atleast i know it aint swine flu since i didnt come across any flying pigs nor did i pass through a potential aPORKalypse zone.
  Just like in the morning,my nephew was back in my room this time with a glass...if i wanted to be forgiven i had to hook him up with some sprite.He seems to havd gotten addicted to it and id like to say it aint even the least bit my fault but damn he even knows where i keep my ''stash'' :))
  
  And so my 27 hr day continues but ive got to ask,what can the askari really do with a rungu?
  Glad i didnt faint cos today i saw a man having a fit on the ground and all people could do was stare and ask whether he was dying :(.In this city if you're dressed 'normal' or look like you aint well off people just walk past and if you look like you're loaded you'll get lotsa people helping out though quite a good number will be helping themselves by emptying your pocket in the name of being good samaritans
• July 02, 2009
• 14:48

  Glass half full

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Today was AWESOME
  Poetry over lunch is definately something id like to try again
  Spag top,shorts and heels on a cold day....hmmm....brrrrr....in my defence it was quite warm when i left home and this town needs to ease up on the crazy weather lol!
  
  Got my diploma in advanced driving and a certificate in first aid and mechanics which is like suck a joke lol!But hey,thats not to say i dont deserve them...i can drive,i can change tires(in theory),i know first aid....CPR :)
  
  >random segway...after a google run turns out fear of eating in public is real
  uninspired to write...l8ters
• July 01, 2009
• 16:11

  unconditional

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  Spring summer autumn and winter i will be loving Jah Jah,i will love Jah forever more
  
  Luciano
• 6:59

  July is here

   » ‎ the-undergraduate
  I just realized i have no idea what anyone in my family has been up to.People changed jobs,people moved houses,people came for summer and others travelled but.....I HAVE NO IDEA...where or when
  Dont get me wrong,i love my family but it feels great to finally have my own seperate life...take a deep breath....relief :)
  I wonder who the new go to person is and i wish them luck in the hours they shall spend on the phone,the times they shall have to run up and down fixing stuff for everyone....being a ''retired'' shrink equals pure bliss :))
  
  I do however miss my football playing tomboy days....but that too was by passed by time....i finally understand that joke about how a kenyan girl would have no problem using a title deed to cover her hair when it rains :p