(I am gathering details...)
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117 items tagged "Rant"
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1:23
The next Triton... is....
» Rants, Raves & Reviews The next Triton-like scam will involve a politically connected firm known as "Gulf Energy"... you read it here first...
(I am gathering details...) -
KQ cannot trust corrupt KAA
» Rants, Raves & Reviews KQ used to face multiple complaints about lost/stolen luggage when it relied on KAA for safety of its passengers' cargo & luggage.
No more. KQ hires its own guards to man the holding area for cargo & luggage.
An added cost of doing business in Kenya. No wonder the cost of flights to/from Kenya are so high.
The Kenya Airports Authority (under the political appointee george 'banana' muhoho) needs to be privatised. It remains a bastion of corrupt deals.
In spite of all the problems in the 'West' & all the 'potential' in Africa, I wonder if it makes more sense to invest in Asia, Europe & America rather than Africa... -
Why doing business in Kenya cost more
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Many un-informed journalists, citizens, politicians & idiots complain about the 'margins' or 'spreads' charged on goods & services. On the surface that is true. Kenyan businesses tend to have wider spreads than what is common in the Western world.
(Let's be clear... I am NOT condoning any sort of scam or counterfeiting or shortchanging or cheating... I am talking of WYSIWYG)
I will try to provide specifics instead of 'general comments' favored by the group/s above.
Let's look a little deeper:- Inefficiencies - Many firms e.g. Kenol-Kobil have to deal with an inefficient oil importation regime. They are forced to process 50% (by law 70%) of their requirements through Kenya Petroleum Refineries Ltd (KPRL) which uses much older technology (hydro-skimming) as well as being sub-optimal in size. This leads to lower high-value (white fuels) derivatives. Cost to Kenyans an additional 3/- per litre.
- Corruption - Many firms e.g. Kenol-Kobil are forced to pass on additional 'charges' to consumers since the management of Kenya Pipeline Company (KPC) has a history of being involved in corrupt deals (including tenders to extend the pipeline). The latest scandal was Triton-KPC. Cost to Kenyans is hard to determine but definitely high.
- Legal system breakdown - HFCK will take defaulters to court but the case could take 5 years even if HFCK has all the cards. Why? An over-burdened court system which does not have a dedicated 'business' court. Deferrals are common as lawyers postpone, postpone & postpone hearings. And when they do show up, the judge/magistrate does not.
- KRA (non)refunds - KRA collects VAT, duties, taxes, etc. Penalties abound if a business is late in remitting the payments. In the event of a refund... get in line. We are not talking of disputed refunds. Even simple refunds are not paid to the businesses in a timely manner. KRA claims they are given KShs 1.04 billion per quarter for refunds REGARDLESS of what they collect. Kenol-Kobil & Total could have KShs 1,000,000,000 outstanding to each of them at any one time. So they borrow from the market. And add financing costs to our petrol price.
- Taxes ad infinitum - The government imposes horrendous amount of taxes in the form of levies, duties, VAT, income tax, etc. Then there are property taxes, license fees, payroll taxes, etc. A retail outlet in the CBD with a 10% margin can't even break-even. And this is before rent is due!
- Insecurity/theft - Theft by employees is pretty common in Kenya. And I do not mean office supplies. I have so many personal examples. My Dad (an engineer/entrepreneur) used to scour Industrial Area factories for jobs - rewind/resuscitate old (burnt) motors. Reduced imports. Saved Kenya forex. Helped the environment. Provided Kenyans jobs. While he was juggling sales, accounting, etc... the employees were busy stealing & selling NEW copper wire (used to rewind motors) as scrap metal. He soon found out about the theft since income didn't match expenses. The copper wire was bought on credit. He paid the suppliers out of his pocket. Heart-broken. Fired ALL the employees. Shut the business down.
- Uncertainty - Uncertainty is very costly. The KShs careens all over the place because of Kenya's fragility. These ups & downs creates problems. Look at the volatility of the Kenya Shilling. Or how volatile oil prices caused KQ's KShs 7.5 billion loss on hedges. Or the 'fear' of violence in almost every election. Fear had gripped the country in 2002. and when Kenyans relaxed in 2007, it blew up in their faces.
- The 'politically-connected businessmen' - How does a legit business compete against these tax evaders who the KRA never touches? Goods come in from Somalia untaxed but nary a raid on Eastleigh or Mandera?
Therefore, even if I feel I am being over-charges vis-a-vis Amazon's prices... my hats off to the businesspeople/entrepreneurs in Kenya! -
Idiocy is the new fashion in Kenya
» Rants, Raves & Reviews The National Environmental Management Agency in Kenya is supposed to safeguard Kenya's environment.
Yet, the agency plans to build their HQ on land in the Karura Forest - a fast disappearing forest within the greater Nairobi area. -
Kenya - is there any good news?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews KenGen & KPLC - They are raising their rates since Kenya has a shortfall of Hydropower. And the politicians bicker & dither over the water catchment areas. Even worse? We are setting ourselves up for a massive famine.
Nairobi City Council - Stupid by-laws.Welfare Programs (Cash handouts) - Does anyone beside me see the potential for abuse? And where is the GoK going to get funds for this?
Subsidies - Overall, these drain the coffers while imposing a burden on the greater society. Fertilizer subsidies matter little if there is NO water.
Water Shortages - No action on water catchment areas. Forest being decimated. And prime forest land continues being 'allocated' to & by politicians.
Crime - Nairobbery deserves its name. No more "Green City in the Sun". Even the Prime Minister's office was broken into. So much for security! This article is a must read. Even Mombasa is being hit by the crime wave. I used to walk around Old Town at 1am... no fear... not the same anymore...
Guns & murders are commonplace...
Untreated sewage dumped into the ocean - Yuck and double yuck. Kenya's 'favorite' ocean town discharges all its RAW sewage into the sea. I am sure this will do wonders for tourism.
Post-election Murderers running free - Yep, running all over. Free as birds. And stealing whatever they can lay their hands on.
No wonder Prez Obama stayed away from Kenya...
Is there anything to redeem Kenya? -
Likoni ferries stall - DANGEROUS but Deja Vu
» Rants, Raves & Reviews This is an earlier post on the danger of not using the old ferries.
And in a repeat of what happened earlier... two ferries stalled at the Likoni channel... Again and again and again... -
Anglo-Leasing & amos wako
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I believe that many of the senior politicians in the kibaki & moi governments benefitted from anglo-fleecing contracts.
Let us start with amos wako who approved these contracts. And now refuses to follow up on the cases filed against the anglo-fleecing folks. Why? Coz (IMHO) he is a beneficiary.
Then kibz... who refused to stop the scam... kibz refusal to halt anglo-fleecing scam in its tracks is the primary cause of his unpopularity today.
Had kibz (did he benefit from anglo-fleecing?) kept his deal about zero tolerance to corruption, he would have beaten raila fair & square during the 2007 polls... -
muhoho-ho-ho (corrupt? inept? Or both?)back at KAA
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Well, I guess it helps to be uhuru kenyatta's (Finance Minister & Deputy PM) uncle as well as a buddy who speaks the same language as kibz (Kenya's prez).
Yes, the reviled, corrupt & inept george muhoho is back at KAA in spite of all the accusations of incompetence. It seems he might have firm instructions to wrap up - and collect the cash on - all the funny deals within the next 12 months. Before others get wise to the 'deals' especially the long-dated land leases. Yep, sell out Kenya. Quicker the better. After all 2012 is not that far away!!!
muhoho & friends forget - or do not care - that JKIA could be the real hub of Africa. That Nairobi could be a thriving 'shopping' destination for transit passengers. That this can create thousands of well-paying jobs for Kenyans. Diversify our economy. Enrich all Kenyans.
No... All that is NOT relevant because quick cash for 'personal' use can be made by entering into opaque deals with 'unknown' or connected firms. Allocate land to unknown foreign airlines (OneJetOne) & developers (the so-called Qatari based Afro-Asian Investment Company) while starving locally-grown Kenyan airlines of growth opportunities.
http://www.nation.co.ke/News/-/1056/556420/-/u3r8h1/-/index.html
Anyone out there who thinks all is above board here? -
Raila - The New Government Spokesperson
» Rants, Raves & Reviews alfie 'goebbels' mutua used to be the purveyor of idiotic statements. Of course, his derision the then "mere junior senator from Illinois" aka Barack Obama... the now "President of the USA".
Anyway, raila has started defending every scam in town. Or so it seems. Why is he being the whipping boy?
KAA + OneJetOne + muhoho + Afro-Asian Investments (some fake Qatari firm): I have no faith in georgie muhoho whose only claim to fame is his familial connections with uhuru kenyatta. Of course, KQ is upset at the KAA giving away Embakasi airport while KQ has no space to park its planes!
KPC + Triton: I am not sure but a good source told me that raila implied that no money was lost to Triton. And there seems to be pressure on KCB to give KPC-Triton a pass... And then there is this article making the rounds.
Mau Forest: What happened? RAO has backed off calls for kicking the squatters out. Kenya needs to rain & water that the Mau complex provides.
"Lesser Corruption" defence: What is RAO smoking? Grand corruption is alive & kicking... and all he could say was that the current corruption is 'less' than prior years? Whereas I can forgive him for 'forgiving' small time corruption but NOT the mega-scams in the billions e.g. KPC-Triton...
alfie 'goebbels' mutua must be smirking at RAO's gaffes! -
Kenya's Public University Students - Idiots?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I have never understood the need for violence & destruction. I never damaged university property (well... not knowingly) even when I felt the administration was wrong. And in dan 'illiterate' moi's heydays, the administration was often wrong...
How does burning university buildings - and looting computers - help the kenyatta (or any other) university students? They only hurt themselves & not the administration or lecturers...
When raila allowed University of Nairobi students to 'protest' in the streets... they messed up by destroying the goods & premises of various businesses...
And university 'graduates' wonder why many businessfolk refuse to hire the Univ grads... Coz the 'grads' are plain Idiots!
(I am all for PEACEFUL demonstrations or those that do not destroy what is 'mine') -
Coldtusker = MP = 2012
» Rants, Raves & Reviews MPs want to be paid Kes 1,500,000 a month. That is 18,000,000/- per year!!!
And they do jackshit. Some of the constituencies have a GDP less than Kes 100,000,000/-...
Bastards... but not if I get elected as an MP in 2012... and make Kes 1,500,000/- per month... -
Sameer Africa goofs!
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I was flipping thru the 2008 Annual Report for Sameer Africa...
The notice on pg 6 says the AGM will be held on Friday 3rd April 2009 at 11am.
The proxy form says the AGM will be held on 2nd April 2009 at 11am.
They produce one Annual Report a year... they have one AGM... can't they get the date right? -
Investing in Property in Kenya is foolish
» Rants, Raves & Reviews
Another reason why I do NOT believe investing in property in Kenya. I also blogged on why I don't invest in property in Kenya... Here is the link to that.
AFTER planning approvals, AFTER construction permits, AFTER construction, AFTER occupancy permits, AFTER... AFTER... the government wakes up and condemns the Westgate and Ukay malls.
I do not have the full details on the matter... nor who is right or wrong...
The concept of property rights simply does not exist in Kenya.
Examples:
- Land-grabbing by the political elite (jomo 'crooked wa ngengi' kenyatta & cronies) in the 60s & 70s.- Land purchased from the 'White Farmers' redistributed to the politically connected. Real landless lose to the already landed in the 60s.
- Expropriation of property & businesses of Kenyan-Asians in the 1960s & 1970s.- Forcible removal/eviction of 'up-country' folk during the Likoni clashes in the 1990s.- dan moi would sign away government land as a reward for his cronies.- Forcible removal (through violence) of Kikuyus from many sections of the Rift Valley in 2008. - Fake Title Deeds and 'missing' files at the Lands Office.
- Adverts in the newspaper on a regular basis about caveats on land for sale (or not for sale).
- Signboards all over Nairobi proclaiming "This Land Is Not For Sale".
I believe in investing in Africa (incl Kenya) but not in land or property. For residents/citizens,I recommend at most a modest (or affordable within their portfolio) house but not much more than that!
Now... I am thinking how much exposure Kenyan banks have to 'condemned' land or buildings. I am worried...
Of course, while pretending to care about the environment... the government is on a tear condemning fragile eco-systems like the Tana Delta & Masai Mara. -
Taxes to go up - Kenya
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Whereas uhuru kenyatta claims that the government will not increase local or foreign debt to bridge the deficit. Also he claims no increase in taxes.
Yeah, right.
Taxes were raised on alcoholic drinks in late 2008. Add extra fees that the municipalities keep on dreaming up. Add interest payments on the sale of government bills & bonds...
And all this adds up as a tax. Indirect but a tax!
How can uhuru keep a straight face when MPs & ministers pay (almost) zero taxes on their income?
uhuru defended the grand coalition government as something 'we' chose. Who is we? I am NOT included in that 'we'. A bunch of thieving & greedy bastards chose to create 42 member cabinet is NOT 'we'.
And GoK ministers get at least 2 high-end gas guzzler (including uhuru) as well as 'chase cars'. And they drive at high speeds which is fuel inefficient!!!
The official car of the PM of Japan (MUCH, MUCH larger economy) is a regular Toyota Century or Lexus LS600hl.
I wonder what the Finance Minister of India ( 1.1bn people & MUCH larger economy) get as his official car... I betcha it is not even close to uhuru's gas-guzzling cars!
Singapore's prez has a 2001 Lexus LS430 & 1999 Mercedes Benz s320L. Dare I even compare Singapore's Per Capita Income with Kenya's?
And the PM of Singapore usually travels in a MB S280. No gas-guzzling Hummer!!! -
Kenya Airports Authority - Coldtusker vindicated - Again & Again...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews
It seems the nincompoops (or merely the corrupt) at KAA are at it again.
KAA's CEO is a george muhoho-ho-ho (whose nephew, uhuru kenyatta, is Kenya's Finance Minister & a Deputy Prime Minister) who has extensive political connections. Of course, GM got the job not on merit but thanks to his golfing buddy mwai kibaki (Kenya's current president).
For those unfamilar with uhuru's background... His father was Kenya's first president & an internationally infamous land-grabber. jomo kenyatta (real name kamau aka 'crooked' wa ngengi) never saw a piece of land he didn't like. For free or at a huge discount to market value!
Anyway, so GM heads KAA which runs jomo kenyatta int'l airport (crooked loved naming public projects after himself) in Nairobi. JKIA was built in the 1970s & has seen little improvement since. It is a small, stuffy, congested & lousy airport for a city the size/status of Nairobi.
It is amazing that Kenya Airways has managed to grow despite JKIA being its hub. I find using JKIA to be torture.
So... it seems that a 'politically connected' airline (OneJetOne) will be allocated the old Embakasi Airport in exchange for (fill in the blank). As an FYI, OneJetOne's parent (AirSouthAsia) does not have permission to fly out of it's home base in Sri Lanka.
Whereas JKIA faces immense challenges especially as regards congestion, there have been half-hearted attempts to increase the size of the airport. Nothing major has been done so far. A prior plan was rife with problems & rejected by the airlines. It seems that some officials in KAA had more than a passing fiduciary interest.
It seems OneJetOne was given preferential treatment in this deal. Instead of advertising to all & sundry about the possibilities of using the old airport, there was a hush-hush element to the newspaper advert & subsequent lease deal.
Using the past as history, I would not be surprised to learn that georgie muhohohoho & cronies were getting a slice of the action!
And to make matters even worse, one of the directors of OneJetOne is a former PS (gerrishon ikiara) in charge of airlines & airports. And by dint of his government position, he was on Kenya Airways' board of directors & privy to KQ's future plans!
And on a smaller scale, there is the endemic corruption regarding parking at JKIA. KAA does not properly maintain parking markings at JKIA which means police officers wait to pounce on innocent motorists!
The Short-Term Parking at JKIA is inadequate & Long-Term Parking is woefully inadequate. The LTP is dark & deserted... you could be killed & no-one would find your body for day! -
NSSF (Kenya) vs Temasek (Singapore)
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I admire Lee Kuan Yew (the former PM of Singapore) for the discipline he installed in Singapore.
As has been many times before, economically Kenya & Singapore were at 'similar' levels in 1963 except Kenya has much more 'potential'.
Singapore had LKY. Kenya had crooked wa ngengi (aka jomo 'land grabbing' kenyatta) & then dan 'uber-thief' moi.
Singapore has a Sovereign Wealth Fund called Temasek. Acknowledging deficiencies in managing the SWF, Singapore has hired heavy hitters who happen to be expats.
Kenya has NSSF. The same corrupt board is 're-hired' even after losing billions in scandals.
Sigh. -
Kenya Airport Authority - Corrupt & Inept
» Rants, Raves & Reviews The idiots at Kenya Airport Authority are it again!
The corrupt & inept (yep, both) could not 'control' the electricity outage situation at the Mombasa 'International' Airport.
Shouldn't MIA have an emergency electricity generator that powers basic functions so the airport can continue running albeit at a 'slower' pace?
What about a contingency plan to provide chairs, shade or water to passengers stuck at the airport?
I have railed against the corrupt & inept idiots running KAA & how they sabotage Kenya's tourism industry.
This a mere sample... there are dozens of horror stories of KAA's ineptness!
July 2007 - Landing lights out
Oct 2008 - No generators at the airport
I feel sorry for the passengers, tourists, KQ & other airlines operating in Kenya. -
roocy kibaki blames saitoti for molo deaths
» Rants, Raves & Reviews roocy kibaki blames george saitoti for the Molo deaths!
If this was not tragic, this is a dark comedy.
roocy's hubby, the Kenyan prez (if you believe sam 'cant count' kivuitu) has been in the government since 1963 as Finance Minister, VP or Prez. And Kenyans have been raped by the politicians since 1963.
Land-grabbing by kenyatta's regime. All sorts of other scandals during moi's regime. Anglo-fleecing, KPC-Triton & maize scams during his regime.
She says that MPs should use their humongous salaries to pay for starving constituents. Well, what about her horrendous large salary & office expenses for doing jackshit? And her hubby who gets paid more than MOST presidents or prime ministers in DEVELOPED countries!
How does she blame saitoti (I hold no torch that thief & incompetent either) for not providing 'civic' education?
Don't schools teach - or common sense - that petrol is FLAMMABLE & dangerous?
So is Saitoti on the way out?
News Break: One day after the Molo Fuel Fire, a railcar derailed near Naivasha with 100,000 litres of UNPROCESSED COOKING OIL. And the thieves were at it again. Oblivious of the danger. Using this oil as 'food' can kill due to impurities. All I can say is expect a few more sick people. Or a few more dead. -
Corruption at KPC continues unabated - Higher fuel prices
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Kenyans will see higher fuel prices. Why?
1) Banks will not lend to many oil firms OR will do so at much higher costs.
2) Ullage allocation favoritism at KPC's KOSF.
3) Demurrage charges to add to fuel costs.
4) Government corruption unabated even after Triton collapsed. High-level corruption?
5) Inefficient government owned Oil Marketer to be favoured over others. More corruption? -
Discredited ECK employees to get 500 million
» Rants, Raves & Reviews WTF?
kivuitu is slated to get KShs 25 million. The government claims there is no money for development or for teachers but wants to pay sam 'I cannot count' kivuitu KShs 25,000,000/-. People are dying of starvation & the govt refuses to pay farmers a fair price for their maize.
Is kibaki trying to pay off kivuitu for his silence on election irregularities?
If ECK thinks it is being shortchanged, then go to court. Do NOT pay them!
BUT what do you expect from Kenya's morally bereft politicians?How can the Kenyan prez and/or PM make more than the prez/PM of countries far more prosperous?
kibz makes more than Obama. The USA has an economy at least 800x larger than Kenya’s!
raila makes more than Gordon Brown. The UK’s economy is at least 100x larger than Kenya’s!And then they go to BEG for food aid!!! If I were a donor, I would say go to hell for more aid. You draw obscene salaries & are bloody corrupt. Let your people starve coz then they may see the need to change the government!
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Mega-corruption at the Central Bank of Kenya
» Rants, Raves & Reviews #1 - Zain refused Money Transfer License upon refusal to bribe CBK governor & cronies
Why does the (corrupt) government of Kenya allow M-Pesa to continue operating & grow in size but the CBK does not allow Zain to launch Zap?
1) Zain refused to pay-off ndungu & his ilk. They followed in the footsteps of YU (Econet) who fought it out in court for the 3rd mobile license.
2) SafCon has powerful politicians as part one of the major shareholders (Mobitelea) who know that delaying Zain's entry will make M-Pesa the entrenched first-mover.
3) This is a government of the corrupt. No pay, no play.
If the CBK is truly concerned about M-Pesa, then they should suspend the service BUT Safaricom's M-Pesa has been given a CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH & is signing up M-Pesa dealers with CBK's tacit approval to stymie Zap when it comes in.
Other links on the Grand Rip Off
The Grand Rip Off
ndungu's role in the GRH scam
The verdict on the Grand Regency scam
The 'secret sale' of GRH
CBK sold GRH in an opaque manner
GRH was under-valued
Lies told by abuga, kimunya & ndungu in the secret sale of GRH
#2 - CBK governor complicit in selling Grand Regency Hotel to protect kibaki's promises
kibaki &/or PNU - I am told - received funds from Libya to fund his 2007 election campaign. In turn he promised to sell them Kenyan assets at a discount & without competitive bidding.
Kudos to Justice Cockar & his team for bringing the truth to light. I bet kibaki is upset that he picked Justice Cockar instead of one the corrupt judges!
Summary of the Cockar Report (from the Sunday Nation)
These assets included the GRH, Kenya Petroleum Refinery & Kenya Pipeline Company.
Well, 2/3 have been completed. Watch this space for the KPC to be sold to the Libyans.
Africa - tough place to do business for those who are not corrupt.
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Am I a fool for not stealing?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I am depressed...
Since 1986, no thief/crook/politician/lawyer associated with any mega-scandal has been jailed... I do not mean those short stints put on for show for the gullible donors.
Goldenberg (50bn) - paul pattni, george saitoti, eric kotut, james kanyotu, gideon moi, daniel moi, amos wako
Anglo Leasing (13bn) - dipak kamani, rashmi kamani, murungaru, kiraitu murungi, amos wako
KPC-Triton (10bn) - yagnesh devani, kiraitu murungi, nyoike, george okungu, peter mecha
Maize Scandal (2009) (1bn) - Names?
Am I a fool to rail against corruption instead of being more constructive & building a corruption network?
(Have I missed any scandals or names above?) -
He is back... Corruption in Kenya... Aluta Continua...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Amos Kimunya is back... as Minister of Trade...
Where is the report that exonerates him?
Bottomline: Amos was the fall guy for the deal kibz made with the Libyans regarding the Grand Regency Hotel. Amos got his pay while he relaxed - he simply 'stepped aside' & was not suspended. Ultimately, it was a deal made by kibz. All the players in the sale have gone scot-free including ndungu (governor of CBK) & kimunya.
Here is a flowchart of how scandals are solved in Kenya. Courtesy of thinkersroom.
Next on the block... the Libyans will get the Kenya Petroleum Refinery... watch this space. Essar who legitimately won the bid for 50% ownership will be locked out.
The Kenya Pipeline will also be sold to the Libyans for a song. In return the Libyans will grease kibz, his family & cronies among other politicians. Proceeds from the sale of KPC will be used to pay off the banks & Oil Marketers caught in the KPC-Triton web. Of course, the crooks including devani, murungi, okungu, mecha & their cronies will all go scot-free.
Yes, Kenya is cursed. Will there be anything left in the coffers by 2012? -
The Top 20 African Billionaires
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I am just copying & pasting... I have no idea as to how this information was acquired or calculations made...
Mind Blowing how much wealth this lot have acquired !!!
The list is headed by Equatorial Guinea President Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo with an estimated $65 billion fortune.
For many years now it has been silently rumoured that daniel moi who ruled Kenya for 24 years marking an era that is associated with the worst forms of corruption, was along with his sons the richest man in the country.
Nigeria has six nationals in the top 20 rich-list including one immediate former President Olusegun Obasanjo.
Zimbabwe’s hardline ruler and the man in the news currently, Robert Mugabe is placed at number 8 with an estimated $3billion despite the fact that his country is in the doghouse.
Libyan President Muamar Ghadafi is placed second.
1. Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo (est $65 Billion)
President of Equatorial Guinea since 1979
2. Muammar al-Gaddafi ($56 Billion)
Leader and Guide of the Revolution, The Libyan Leader
3. Dr. Mike Adenuga ($27 Billion)
Dr. Mike Adenuga, Chairman of Globacom, a Telecommunications company
4. Onsi Sawiris ($20 Billion)
Onsi Sawiris, Egptian Businessman who heads Orascom, Telecommunicatons company
5. Mohammed Al Amoudi ($ 9 Billion)
Mohammed Al Amoudi, Ethiopian Business man, Oil, Gas, Mining, Hotels, Agriculture and hospitals
6. Aliko Dangote ($ 4 Billion)
Aliko Dangote, Nigerian Businessman, Dankotes businesses include food processing, cement manufacturing and freight
7. Strive Masiyiwa ($ 3.5 Billion)
Strive Masiyiwa (aka "Bill Gates of Africa") is a Zimbabwean businessman and cellphone pioneer, founding Econet Wireless.
8. Robert Mugabe ($ 3 Billion)
Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe
9. Mohamed Fayed ( $ 3 Billion)
Mohammed Fayed, Eqyptian Businessman
His Business interests include Harrods department store in london and Fulham, an English, Premiership football club
10. Ibru Family ( $ 2.5 Billion)
Hotels and Banking in Africa, Nigerian Businesses
11. Femi Otedola ( $ 2 Billion)
Nigerian Business man, Business interests include Zenon Oil and other Oil Products
12. Yoweri Museveni ($ 1.7 Billion)
Uganda's economy began to grow steadily and poverty levels have dropped by 45% since 1992.
13. Olusegun Obasanjo ( $ 1.3 Billion)
Olusegun Obasanjo, President of Nigeria
14. Anis haggar ( $ 1.3 Billion)
Sudanese industrialist,
15. Mo Ibrahim ($ 1.2 Billion)
A Sudanese, the founder of Celtel International
16. Arap Moi ( $ 1.2 Billion)
Daniel Toroitich Arap Moi, President of Kenya 1978 - 2002. Corruption ran riot during his reign culminating with the massive Goldenberg scandal.
17. Musa Danjuma (est $ 1.2 Billion)
Musa Danjuma, A Nigerian Businessman, Business Interests include real estate and shipping
18. Patrice Motsepe (est $ 1.2 Billion)
South African entrepreneur, has interests in gold, ferrous metals, base metals, and platinum
19. Madhvani Family (est $ 800 Million)
Roni Madvani, A Ugandan Business man Business interests include Uganda Tourism Board and Hotels
20. Cyril Ramaphosa (est $ 600 Million)
Cyril Ramaphosa South African business man and politician Business interests include Shaduka Holdings, Bidvest Group, MTN Group and SASRIA Limited -
Kenya Airports Authority - Coldtusker vindicated - Again
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I wish I had good news for you but...
Anyway here are 3 earlier posts...
JKIA is a dumpWhy JKIA needs a 2nd runwayHow government sabotages success at KQ
Why the 3 posts?
Well... as I have told you muhoho-ho-ho was a huge (expensive, nepotistic, corrupt) joke! So his firing... is it a time to cry or laugh? -
Price Controls & favoritism for NOCK - More future scams to come
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I have argued that market solutions work best for businesses... (look at the scandals at NCPB & KPC)
Well... the idiots (or conmen) in the Kenyan government are at it again... they used the fuel shortages (caused by Kenyan government's incompetence) to attack Oil Marketers & demand price controls...
Furthermore, the gov't in its infinite stupidity wants to give NOCK (a government subsidised entity) the right to import 30% of Kenya's petroleum needs... which will lead to massive corruption...
So pray the idiots do not get their way or I will have to say... "I told you so" again...
BTW... here are past scams at KPC
Pipeline enhancement? Not necessarily value for money.Triton & KPC in cahoots since 2004 regarding ullage -
KPC-Triton Scam: Daily Nation makes a faux pas... again
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Daily Nation (& other Kenyans newspapers) not only have atrociously written articles, they make absurd claims based on poor (or no) research...
On 28 Dec 2008, DN claimed their investigations revealed the fuel shortages were created by Oil Marketers. The article - the lead story - exonerated KPC & seemed to imply KPC was an angel...
Price War: The truth about fuel shortage
And now we know better... and not coz of DN but the ad in the paper when KCB published a court order barring Triton...
Subsequently, DN & BDA tried to salvage their reputation with nary an apology to the Oil Marketers or Kenyan public for the misinformation.
I betcha that the 'truth' had to be spoon-fed to the DN... before they could make any sense of it...
So I am taking a poll... are the financial/business writers/editors, etc on DN:
(a) Idiots(b)Incompetent(c) Corrupt (incentivized to write anti-OM stories)(d) All of the above
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Kenya's reliability suffers blow after KPC scam
» Rants, Raves & Reviews KPC's fraudulent activities has scarred Kenya's 'reputation' as a reliable trading partner.
Rwanda is seeking alternates to Kenya for its fuel supplies. Furthermore, some idiots (newspaper journalists, KPC & the always gullible Kenyan public) claimed that the Oil Marketers were exporting fuel meant for local consumption. It turns out that both Uganda & Rwanda faced massive fuel shortfalls thanks to KPC's complicity & idiocy in the theft of fuel from their depots!
Basically, there was not enough fuel for local or export since there was no fuel... despite fake adverts in the Kenyan newspapers about the quantities 'available' or 'pumped'.
And Kenyan newspapers were also compromised or just stupid & they hardly research their business reporting. Even raila & kibz got into the act... blaming 'cartels'... notice how quiet they have been of late? Maybe they are choking on humble pie?
And KPC blamed everyone else... KPLC, Shippers, Oil Marketers, etc -
Scandal rocks KPC - Coldtusker told you...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Coldtusker has been vindicated (again)... I have been accused by many 'blind, dumb & deaf' folks of being overly critical of government (owned/controlled) institutions & agencies...
I blogged on the fishiness at the KPC... yep!
I may not be the #1 fan of Oil Marketers but I prefer competition (free markets) rather than corrupt & inefficient government bureaucrats running the show...
KPC has been feeding the gullible media, some (moronic) Kenyans & Oil Marketers with false information about the levels of fuel stocks in Kenya Oil Storage Facilities (KOSF) as well quantities at their depots & in the pipeline...
Kenyans/government/idiots blamed Oil Marketers for the recent fuel shortages... well, it turns out there was a real shortage because the so-called fuel is missing!!! Yes, KPC can't account for 56,000,000 litres... (no 56 or 560 or 5,600 or 56,000)... worth Kes 7,000,000,000 (Seven Billion)... Kaput... Abracadabra...
No wonder there was a fuel shortage... KPC says it was there... but it is not... so where is it now?
Was it ever there?
(BTW, the KPC owns the KOSF storage tanks & since that is the only option for Oil Marketers, Banks/Financiers, etc... so there was no choice but use KPC)
Engen (a private Oil Marketer) complained that Triton (politically connected & always favoured by KPC) has not delivered Engen's share of the fuel stocks Engen already paid for... My sources tell me most Oil Marketers are in the same boat... since they had to buy the (non-existent) stocks from Triton due to OTS rules...
So...no wonder there was a shortage!!! And the government blamed/claimed Oil Marketers were 'hoarding'... WTF??? How do you hoard what you don't have!!! (Please remember these are government employees who like hoarding my taxes in their pockets)
Now there are silly proposals to:
- Introduce price controls (bad, bad idea)
- Give NOCK (another inefficient 100% gov't owned firm) the right/guarantee to import 30% of Kenya's fuel requirements rather than compete vs the rest of the importers. What if NOCK negotiates prices that are say a little over market... the difference going to some politician's bank account in Cayman?
Do I smell scandal & corruption if the proposal were to pass? YES.
Additional Links:Triton's political connectionsWhy corruption thrives at KPC & benefits accruing to political appointees
KPC lied about Fuel Stocks (Missing/Stolen fuel)
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Kenya Ferries Ltd - Ferries stall - Deja Vu
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I told you so... yes, I, coldtusker, warned Kenyans... "Warped Priorities at KFS"
2 of the 3 ferries were out of order at Likoni today... And trust me... the way things are going, I expect one to sink soon... which is bad news for tourism...
Solution:
- Either privatise KFS which means charging the passengers (or subsidizing the KFS).
- Build a bridge or tunnel asap!!! -
Government Blunders/Corruption continues in Fuel Shortages in Kenya
» Rants, Raves & Reviews The Government of Kenya (GoK) does PR well... or is it that many Kenyans are gullible or just stupid?
It seems the Oil Marketers have not done a good job highlighting their side of the story probably fearing retribution.
Here are a couple of stories that highlights the idiocy in GoK & its entities.
Kenya Pipeline Company (KPC) stops pumping fuel from Mombasa to Nairobi while Nairobi faces fuel shortages!
KPC has further hitches in pumping fuel from Mombasa to Inland depots.
Politically connected firm, Triton, hogs space at the Mombasa fuel depot delaying offloading of fuel imported by other firms.
And what bullshit is this? Ngumbao Kithi & Jane Akinyi claim there has been no fuel shortage at the Coast for 2 weeks... I beg to differ! There were some towns (Watamu & Kilifi) that were as dry as a desert at least once since 15 Dec 2008. Were these journalists bribed or idiots?
Now in Tanzania... a failed government airline that needs constant bailouts while KQ (privatized) remains profitable in a tough environment. Precision Air (49% owned by KQ) remains profitable & is expanding.
I hope KPC & KPRL is fully privatized. Soon. Transparently. -
Kenya Pipeline Company - Fishy dealings
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I recently advocated the complete privatization of KPC since the management at KPC in collusion with the Ministry of Energy is definitely incompetent & probably corrupt.
Why would they allow a (almost) bankrupt firm (see story here - Triton) to import oil products under OTS?
Why do they allow a single firm to hold stocks/ullage in excess of their market share?
(The government through KPC allows for storage/ullage in proportion to the market share. The Oil Markerters - Shell, Kenol, Kobil, Total) have been complaining that some 'politically connected' players routinely exceed their storage capacity).
KPC's idiots blamed everyone else but themselves since KPC's managers were protecting their own. So they invited kibaki to 'commission' a facility that was non-operational & not expected to come online till early 2009.
The Oil Marketers have made multiple suggestions for changes in the Oil Tendering System (OTS) among other structural problems facing the industry BUT the incompetent (or maybe just plain corrupt) mandarins refuse to make the changes.
Another group of idiots reside at the Ministry of Finance & KRA... who refuse to expedite the refunds of taxes, duties and levies thus creating a strain on Oil Marketers.
Of course, the public at large are like sheep. They believe whatever alfie mutua says... or some incomptent (&/or corrupt) government bureaucrat.
It is so easy to blame BUSINESSES (they are not perfect) for the problems whereas dig a little deeper & its STUPID, CORRUPT, INCOMPETENT government functionaries who push retrograde policies OR are simply in it as rent-seekers! -
Zimbabwe - Gone to the dogs...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews mugabe & his ilk are killing (killed?) the Zimbabwean economy with ongoing ridiculous actions...
Are many of the Zimbabweans too stupid not to see what he is doing?
Why don't they assassinate mugabe or at least have a mass revolution to kill mugabe & his cronies?
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Fuel Shortages in Kenya
» Rants, Raves & Reviews On 26 Nov 2008, the pumbavus at Kenya Pipeline Corporation (KPC) made a huge deal of ‘commissioning’ the expansion (double) in pumping capacity by spending scarce state resources & inviting Kibaki & his entourage to the ‘commissioning’ in Makindu…
So… what really happened?
The bloody pipeline is NOT ready since it was but a scam for political mileage! Cut a few ribbons, cakes, drinks & cash all around. And all this wining and dining while the ‘expansion’ will not be ready until early 2009 at best!!!
Most towns in Kenya are facing fuel shortages as (1) Kenyans gear up for the holidays & (2) the reduction in fuel prices spurred consumption but the idiots at KPC claim that the shortages are the Oil Marketers fault while its KPC who can’t pump the required demand!
Though KPC has argued that it has enough fuel, and that it is the oil marketers who have not adjusted their volumes in line with the increased demand, the oil merchants are placing the blame on the pipeline operator.
Any wonder why I don’t believe the drivel KPC spews?
“Can some one explain why the Head of State was made to commission a project that is not complete?” asked Jacob Segman, the group managing director of Kenol. “Are we not deceiving the people of Kenya?”
Many ignorant (or stupid) Kenyans blamed Oil Marketers since the ‘government’ informed them that Oil Marketers were to blame!
There seem to additional problems at Kenya Refineries Ltd & Kenya Ports Authority since even many coastal towns don’t have enough fuel...
IT IS TIME TO PRIVATIZE THESE FIRMS. NOT ‘PARTIAL PRIVATIZATION LIKE KENGEN OR KENYA POWER & LIGHTING… COMPLETE… NO MORE GOVERNMENT CONTROL…
KenGenKPLCKPCKPAKPRL -
Safaricom - Quality & Service problems
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I hope Micheal Joseph reads my blog coz SafCon is going to the dogs...
I have (almost) given up using SafCon's pre-paid voice service since Zain introduced Vuka.
In addition, for Kes 65/day I have 12 hours talk time between 6am-6pm. This is great since it can be used during peak hours. For 20/- (club 20) I get 'free' talk time from 10pm-6am & unlimited 'free' sms for the whole day!
(BTW, all the 'free' stuff is only Zain-Zain).
I sorta like the pre-paid Bambanet (internet) service since I can use it almost anywhere in Kenya (urban areas) & it is relatively fast BUT the service has been spotty of late.
1) I keep on getting disconnected after 2-3 minutes of use. Very frustrating especially when I am sending e-mails, posting on blogs or downloading.
2) I need to try 2-3 times before I am connected to the network. This really pisses me off.
3) 10 days ago, I could not get my balance on the Bambanet account. I was checking to see how much unused MBs I had as well as the expiry date but I kept on getting 'blank' replies to my enquiries. I had to spend an inordinate amount of time to visit a retail location to sort it out!
4) SafCon (see 3 above) charges 8/- per MB if you exceed the limit/package but they will not tell you the balance. What conmanship. I was a victim of the scam.
Pre-paid Voice service:
1) The employees at the retail center were unaware of when the "Jimbambie" promotion ends. I was told "December" but not 1st or 15th or 31st December!
2) I tried to call customer service on 100 but as always no luck. Why do they even bother to tell us there is a pre-paid customer service?
3) Unlike Zain, there is no indication of the cost of the call or balance after each call. I really like the feature on Zain. And when the Jibambie tariff shows up... it does not clarify which 'level' thus I could be conned & not know it!
If Zain introduces a 3G internet product... I will vuka over asap on that too... For those who have safcon shares... beware coz the competition is far better than SafCon... Don't be conned that SafCon's lead is unassailable. GM used to be the world's most profitable automaker. GM may be the largest BUT for investors... it has been a loser over the last 5 years!!! -
Land Theft - The Kibaki Years
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Well... it seems that little has changed since jomo 'I love stealing land' kenyatta's & dan ' I am a thief' moi's days...
Land allocated to the Lady Northey Home Registered Trustees is in the process of being grabbed. In all fairness, the grab started before kibz became prez but the theft needs to be stopped. kibz needs to ensure that his last 4 years show a commitment to cutting down corruption...
I would like to see the best use for the land BUT not the current spate of thievery. Where is Orengo?
I note that any land 'donated' to the City Council of Nairobi is bound to be grabbed. Remember the Jeevanjee Gardens? If not for the valiant efforts of Mr. Jeevanjee's granddaughter among other do-gooders, we would have some ugly shopping mall belonging to a bunch of crooked former councillors!!! -
How the Kenyan government sabotages success at KQ
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I have blogged extensively on the Government of Kenya's apathy to one of Kenya's largest (direct & indirect) employers... Tourism...
Today is an example of a long-suffering firm (Kenya Airways - KQ) that has to deal with the idiocy that is the Kenya Airports Authority (KAA)...
KAA - headed by uhuru kenyatta's uncle as nepotism is rampant - has mismanaged the Nairobi International Airport (NBO). It is old, dark, humid & dank compared to many other airports around the world.
Emirates Airlines has a new terminal in Dubai. Ongoing attempts by the Dubai government to encourage their local airline compete better in the tough airline world.
Qatar Air has also benefited from a government that has invested in expanding the Doha airport to support QA's rapid growth.
KAA has done jack shit in helping KQ expand.
- A 1970s airport without being updated for the 2000s,
- Insufficient parking for passengers
- Poor customer service.
- High charges but little service
- A poorly lit & pothole filled road to/from the airport
- Poorly manned immigration desk for foreigners requiring PAID visas (a fellow traveller complained it took him an hour to get a visa
- Poor lounge facilities. Hard chairs and even then too few of them.
It happens that KQ has made Nairobi an eviable hub in Africa but to keep their competitive edge KQ needs a larger airport. Perhaps their own terminal! Otherwise KQ will lose out to an emerging Entebbe or Addis Ababa).
Many African airports (e.g. Entebbe, Jo'burg, etc) have apron buses provided by the airport autority but KQ had to buy their own since KAA is too busy hiring lousy personnel!!!
KQ is responsible for bringing in lots of higher-spending tourists as well as facilitating trade for Kenyan firms. These remain a lifeline for Kenya & the GoK should be helping KQ not impeding them! -
A fox guarding the hen-house
» Rants, Raves & Reviews The so-called Kenya Bureau of Standards (KEBS) appoints a STATE-OWNED CHINESE FIRM to pre-verify goods coming in from China.
After recent scares about toothpastes deliberately laced with DEG & milk deliberately powder tainted by melamine... the idiots at KEBS chooses a fox (CCIC) to guard the henhouse (Kenyan consumers).
The chinese manufacturers happily export sub-standard products to the USA - with a somewhat vigilant FDA - let alone developing countries with non-existent labs!
I have argued that Kenya shouldn't import food products from china in view of the poor quality & lack of morals!
So I wonder what the chinese have paid the officials at KEBS....
What do you think? -
JKIA is a dump...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Does the government care? (Rhetorical question...)
JKIA is:
dark
dank
toilets stink
floor is uneven
over-crowded
The road to JKIA is narrow, pockmarked... where are the Chinese contractors?
The poor experience starts with the idiotic cop who is interested in your insurance sticker rather than if you are a terrorist. Am I going to carry a gun or RPG in plain sight?
The drop-off area is blocked...
There is only one scanner on thus a long line...
Check-in is pleasant (but this is handled by KQ among other airlines)
Immigration asks me a stupid question about my passport... Told him I got it as is from the powers-that-be... Threatens to cause me trouble... tell him to FO (well, politely...)
At least our duty free shops are 1/2 way decent vs other African (yes, I am going for the low bar here) airports...
Sigh... the waiting area can't match Entebbe... at least KQ has updated screens showing the flights. Well, so does KAA but no-one at the help desk. BTW, it is prime time... but the KAA employee if off... I only seen an employee behind a help-desk once in the past year!
There is NO working socket here... Using up my precious battery power to blog!
Can't wait to get on the flight. -
Why Kenya continues to lag...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews While California wants to cut down on 'paid holidays' i.e. the days you get paid for but you do not work... Kenya goes down the path of silly holidays like "Obama Day"...
BO did not take the day off... he was working even harder after this election!
Vision 2030 anyone?
Or a large part of the current crop of politicians will probably be dead by 2030 so what do they care? -
Nairobbery - Yes, we are back!
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Ahhh... the Nairobbery we all know so well... and the police?
Complicit? Yes, according to Tim Muriuki of NCBDA
Incompetent? Yes.
Corrupt? Yes.
Vision 2030 - Kenya plans to be the world's gangster exchange... Gotham move over!
Does the government realize that tourism is on shaky ground & such incidents will only scare the tourists away from Nairobi?
Being an entrepreneur is tough at the best of times. I am not surprised that many folks don't want to bother starting businesses in Kenya unless its mere trading or the 'briefcase' bunch.
BTW, the latest robbery took place 800 metres from (Un)Vigilance House... the seat of the Kenya Police. So would you go shopping for substantial items in the CBD?
NCBDA Complaint -
Why do we import food from China?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Tanzania imported melamine-laced milk & milk products. I would not be surprised if some Kenyan firms unwittingly did the same.
The chinese on the other hand have been lobbying African governments not to 'penalize' chinese milk imports! The chinese trade representative in Kenya issued a statement indicating that Kenya should not ban chinese milk products. Sure that's his job but are we fools?
Why do we need to import so many food products?
Why not have:
Weetabix not Kellogg's Cornflakes?
local Cadbury's not Lindt's/Hersheys/imported chocs?
local Minute Maid not Ceres/imported brands?
EABL products not Heineken/Castle (brewed in TZ & S.Africa)?
local sodas not same brands from middle east?
I have consistently argued that Kenyan (& African) consumers have a warped sense of consumerism regarding food products. We 'idolize' imported foods. Some local firms need to be do better & we have to hammer them on quality BUT the obsession with imports?
Go to any Nakumatt & it seems 50% of the food products are imported!!! -
Big Governments, Inefficiency & Corruption - Bedfellows
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Millers who approach the NCPB are told there is no maize. Even official complaints are swatted aside. BUT the NCPB sells maize to 'brokers' who sell to the millers at 26% markup. So...
- Who are these brokers?
- Why is the government competing with the private sector in procuring maize?
Regulation is one thing but the involvement of government in (direct) commerce is the road to ruin. And consumers have to pay the price.
Shouldn't the government spend money on improving the roads in the North Rift rather than buying maize from farmers? It's a rhetorical question because the latter allows for quick & easy corruption!
- Underweight bags of maize are purchased by NPCB
- Low quality maize is purchased by NPCB
- Maize is sold at a loss to 'favored' entities & persons by NPCB
Private millers would go out of business if they did the above!
Then the demolitions along Thika Road. Why were the officials in the Nairobi Crooked Council & Ministry of Landlessness not arrested & thrown in jail for allocating & allowing construction on road reserves? -
Obama Day? Silliness...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I don't get it & neither do many Kenyans.
Yes, Kenyans are proud that Barack Obama won the elections BUT he is an AMERICAN. Through & through. As for the vaunted Kenyan connection... it turns out his Kenyan father had little to do with raising Barack Obama. Kudos to his BO's Mother & maternal grandparents.
Obama the father abandoned Obama the son when BO was 1 month old... So Barack was NEVER a "Kenyan" in any sense of the word. He was not born in Kenya, not raised in Kenya, not a Kenyan resident nor a Kenyan citizen.
Congrats to Obama for the victory BUT why has kibz declared a holiday to celebrate Obama's win?
What of the loss of productivity for the typical mwananchi without a cushy government job?
kibz & roocy get paid whether they work or not. Not most Kenyans.
Election day in the USA was a working day for most Americans. There are no official holidays for any of the post-election days. So if the USA marks the historic occasion with a 'working day' why do Kenyans have a 'holiday'?
Who will pay the 1,000s of casual workers who only get paid if & when they work?
Who will pay for the loss of interest income for those whose cheques take 1 business day longer to clear?
Who will pay for the lost business deals/opportunities?
Who will compensate the farmer who delivers his produce but finds the markets are closed?
Who will compensate the businesses that rely on workers patronage e.g. food sellers in the CBD?
We have kenyatta day, moi day & now Obama day? As is, we do not need a krooked wa ngengi day nor a dan 'stealing galore' moi day!
Let Kenyans celebrate Obama's victory BUT not at the expense of their livelihood!
Other views:
Startups in Kenya
ke -
I am wary of National Oil Corporation ...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I am wary of National Oil Corporation of Kenya.
1) Does it receive subsidies from GoK? If yes, how much?
2) Does it receive favourable treatment from KRA?
3) How are its activities funded?
The problem is that any government 'support' costs taxpayers even more.- Subsidies means higher taxes on those who pay taxes (MPs excluded).
- Favored tax status means the other taxpayers are disadvantaged.
- Capital put into NOCK means other areas are starved OR the funds are borrowed from the money markets.
Strenghten regulation and quality controls. Which firm imported the low-quality LPG?
Various taxes on petroleum products should be reduced or eliminated. Or encourage public transport by offering 'free market' incentives e.g. lower taxes on buses & mini-vans.
Government 'support' will encourage cronyism, corruption & inefficiencies!
** Good news: Political clout on the decline. KCB sold off a farm that kenyatta had stolen. They had borrowed money using the farm as collateral & KCB foreclosed on it. Considering (not yet) uhuru is Deputy PM, this is great since other politicians will be running scared! -
Nairobi City Council - Bouquets & Barbs
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Bouquet - Increased burial fees. We need fewer burials & more cremations. Of course, murders can't be solved if the bodies are cremated BUT that only happens on CSI. In Kenya, 'investigations' are a joke. What was the idiot's name who claimed Robert Ouko 'killed' himself then set himself on fire?
Barb - Why would you raise the fees for LOADING BAYS from 60,000/- to 100,000/- in Nairobi?
Many world-class cities want businesses to open/remain in their downtowns e.g. New York, London, Chicago, etc... the idiots at the Nairobi City Council want to drive these businesses out! These businesses keep residents downtown longer & create vibrancy.
Higher costs of the various licenses will either push these businesses out by encouraging hawkers who pay no fees or charges! Violent & armed robberies are on the rise & the police as usual consider these as 'normal'.
Barb - Why doesn't the NCC get rid of the death traps - 14-seater Nissan matatus? I would post photos but I don't want my phone or camera being snatched! -
Kenya - No rule of Law
» Rants, Raves & Reviews What a waste!
The Nakumatt store among other buildings were bulldozed by the 'government'. I know there were cases pending but the impunity is horrendous.
Nakumatt had the property on lease - they do not own property - but seemed unaware of the operation. At the minimum, they would have emptied the store. The landlords say they never received the summons. Anyway, expect a lot of lawsuits back & forth. Or was this a case of the law gone amok?
(The demolishers may be right but the waste of food when Kenyans are starving. The sheer waste of equipment/utensils/beds, etc when Kenyan hospitals go without... It just galls me!)
How on earth did they get to build these structures on road reserves?
The Kenol petrol station had 26,000 litres of petrol. Yes, a spark and kaboom. Well, if I were the owner & you screwed with me, I would have probably lit a match and walked away... and helped lots of looters on their journey... upwards...
Associated Posts:
Real Estate in Africa - Very Risky -
History - We will NEVER learn
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Is there more to this not-so-sweet story than we know?- Are Kenyan sugar barons afraid of Kenana of Sudan?
- Was the sale cancelled because Spectre - owned by the odinga family - lost the bidding?
- How does this look to foreign investors when a 'clean' auction winner loses the deal while the Libyans get Grand Regency after a rigged purchase won by underhand dealings?
- G0K (read the taxpayer not the MPs) will have to compensate the winning bidders!
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Corruption at the United Nations in Kenya
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Well... The corrupt UN employee was just following what her Kenyan gov't colleagues do... or what transpired under Kofi Annan...
For those who don't understand sarcasm or can't hear the dripping through the written word... I think she should not only be fired BUT taken to court! The UN should set an example of zero tolerance & prosecution but it fails miserably...
The UN is one of the world's most bloated & inefficient organizations. An attempt by Michael Bolton to clean up the UN failed since the corruption is entrenched! -
Kenya to pay $91 million in 2009 for anglo-fleecing
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Even though the GoK refuses to pay $91 million for the anglo-fleecing contracts... it seems that they might have to pony up the cash... why?
Coz these deal - though scams - were executed by the GoK... sigh... and the crooks/cronies all go free coz they are friends & family of the powers-that-were and powers-that-be... -
NSSF, Discount Securities & atwoli
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Is francis 'loudmouth' atwoli the head of a mob family?
Why is it that the workers don't kick him out?
The guy's (entire) family works at the NSSF & he is a critic of attempts made to clean up deadwood.
Kenyans should have a choice of NOT investing with/through the NSSF. Yes, they need competition from private providers. I am not saying the private funds will do any better but there should be a choice...
So... NSSF might have lost KES 1.4 billion ($20 million) by dealing through shady brokers... and this is the tip of the iceberg...
BTW... Centum and DSL shared the same office building... hmmm... do you think Centum invested thru DSL as well? -
Oops, alfie "foot in mouth" mutua does it again...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews So it seems the hijacked shipment of arms & tanks is not all it seems...
Kenya still buys most of its hardware from the West so the Russian tanks via the Ukrainians might not be for Kenya... and if Kenya was the buyer why buy Russian tanks from Ukraine instead of the Russians?
It seems there was another cargo of tanks that were shipped through Kenya to S.Sudan... Now I would not care if Kenya made some 'commission' on the sale but I think the 'commission' will end up in individuals' pockets not the Kenyan military! -
Kenya's inefficient refinery at it again...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews The government needs to stop dragging its feet and tell Kenya's refinery... its do or die... and sell its shareholding asap if it does not want to invest in the refinery... -
Real Estate in Africa - Very Risky
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I own no real estate in Africa...
Why?
The protection, offered by the law, of one's property in Africa is almost non-existent. If the laws are there, the courts or enforcers are lazy, corrupt, powerless or do not care.
Kenya is an example where kamau wa ngengi (aka jomo "land-grabber' kenyatta) and his family acquired huge chunks of the best land through theft. Many of the victims were law-abiding citizens who had bought their land. kamau who became senile in the early 70s still dreamed of acquiring more land even in his senility.
Zimbabwe is another example where for all the inequities, there were many who lost their land. Of course, the land was 'taken' to benefit the majority but given to mugabe's whores & cronies. Senile is too kind a word for mugabe. Why don't the Zimbabweans just assasinate him?
Tanzania nationalised the farms to catastrophic results.
Uganda's idi 'idiot' amin kicked out the Ugandan Asians, grabbed their properties without due process and coz he had some dream that he had.
Rwanda saw bloodshed with over 1mn deaths. All for 'land'.
Kenya has had land clashes over the years but it reached new heights in early 2008.
Anyway, I was watching a video on KenyanEntrepreneur's site... the house was being demolished... and it sorta explains why I rent... -
How the KRA & govt kill local businesses!
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Many local airlines are suspending operations coz the KRA introduced ill-thought out tax measures. This is just after the KRA introduced KWATOS at the port... without adequately testing the system...
And the KRA is lauded for 'good work'... yeah, right... -
Poor KPLC
» Rants, Raves & Reviews The GoK uses KPLC as a cash cow.
Petrol prices at the pump are 50% taxes... collected by the Oil Marketers on behalf of the GoK...
They do the same with electricity. GoK forces KPLC to collects taxes/VAT from consumers... so KPLC looks like the bad guy... while the GoK mandarins wallow in our money... -
African Despots - Back to the Future...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews African despots don't retire... they just extend their terms... by all means possible!
M has a great flowchart...
1) wade of Senegal got his presidential term 'extended' by friendly MPs...
2) paul biya of Cameroon chnaged the constityiyion so he can run again after the initial 2 terms
3) mugabe of Zimbabwe stole the election. Outright.
4) kibaki of Kenya... hmmm...
5) museveni of Uganda wants to be president for life.
The list goes on and on... perhaps the only way to get rid of them is how the Klingons did it in the fictional Star Trek? -
What Ghana's crooks learnt from Kenya...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Kenya is Africa's teacher in the dark arts...
mugabe the neanderthal stole the election after seeing the success that kibz had in Kenya... and mbeki the appeaser has convinced MDC to 'marry' ZANU to form a "Grand Coalition'. Hmmm... sounds just like Kenya!
Now Ghana's crooked elite are planning a mobitelea on Ghana Telecom similar to Kenya's Safaricom... yes, Kenya has a lot to teach... pity it is all in the realm of the crooked ways!
So... as I posed in my earlier blog post... if Africans lined up all the corrupt politicians and drove a stake through their hearts, after shooting them - twice, just in case - through their noggins... would this be considered an act of kindness or genocide?
(Genocide... I ask? Well, it would eliminate an entire group... not bound by ethnicity but by lack of ethics) -
Nairobi City Council - Idiots or Smart?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Nairobi's inefficient City Council which has huge problems with a bloated workforce, corruption, poor enforcement of important by-laws, poor/outdated sewage system and poor maintenance of the road network.
Oh, but dare you prune the flowers in YOUR garden... the City Council will be on your neck... or is the joke on us since it opens more avenues for corruption! -
Set a thief to catch a thief...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Yep, the whole gang behind the scandals during kibz' 2002-2007 run are all out i.e. the charges have been dropped against them...
Whereas Raila is asking John Githongo to return and even promised to find a place for him in the government... the folks associated with anglo-fleecing are all back...
mwiraria and the rest have gone scot-free. Anglo-what?
kamani & co - the Kenya Police (hardly a bastion of cleanliness) dropped their demand for the arrest of the kamanis. aNGLO-WHAT?
pattni & somaia are out an back in business thanks to deals with KACC. saitoti was 'released' as well... and got a job back as a minister! -
Despondency & the common Kenyan (wo)man
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I counseled against a 'combined' EA presidency but seeing as things are in Kenya, I might re-think my position. Many Kenyans & Ugandans are of the opinion that Kagame would win hands down if he went head-to-head against the incumbents esp kibaki & museveni.
So what is happening in Kenya to warrant such sentiments?- A bloated cabinet whose obscene expenditures have to be paid for by taxpayers have to foot... and not the MPs who go scot-free...
- A 'coalition' government that leaves little room for dissent...
- MPs who live off the fat of the land but who contribute little...
- Safaricom shares sold at a KES 4bn discount to 'local foreigners'... while Kenyans were denied the shares...
- Anglo-fleecing suspects back in Kenya coz their protectors & godfathers rigged themselves back into parliament...
- Pattni off the hook coz he 'gave up' the Grand Regency Hotel in exchange for an amnesty... though the AG denies it... the KACC is in support of pattni's stand...
- GRH sold though a 'secret sale' for a song... no public bidding... after lies and denials... all is back to normal business... i.e. theft...
- The Kenya Petroleum Refinery sold to the libyans giving them total control over Kenya's oil industry... Libyans will also control the Pipeline and OilLibya (one of Kenya's largest Oil marketers)
Am I the only one who feels betrayed by our 'leaders'? -
Grand "Corruption" Regency
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Where there is smoke there is fire...
The Grand Regency sold for a song (well... lower than an open bidding process would yield) according to James Orengo... the Minister of Lands...
And there is a different figure from a member of the grossly overpaid staff at KACC...
Can't he revoke the transfer? -
CMA's website
» Rants, Raves & Reviews A friend has been trying to get information on or about the CMA but the website provides little or outdated information. There has been an improvements since I posted a rant about it.
Does this mean someone from the CMA reads my blog?
Anyway... so I checked the website out & whereas it looks better but there are problems with the downloads. The 2007 annual report would not open up & the message was 'a damaged file'.
No e-mails are listed so how does one get in touch with the 'powers-that-be'.
There was a complaints section but the complaints form was damaged & the complaints procedure was blankety-blank. Way to go...
I do hope someone from the CMA reads this & fixes it.
Does anyone have e-mail addresses for the head honchos there? -
SafCon - The scam
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Saf-Con... and the local foreigners...
As I revealed earlier... how SafCon's OFS screwed Kenyans... Alcazar... who owns it?
Told you so... -
CMA - Are they serious?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Pathetic website. www.cma.or.ke
I could not find links on the site to provide feedback. The enquiries & feedback link was little more than a list of press announcements. Lousy website. Did I say that again?
I could not find e-mail addresses for the management... or the Board. Talk of transperancy (or lack thereof). Snail mail contact info... how 1980s...
Did I mention... the latest Annual Report they have online is for 2006... it is almost 6 months after their year end... And the CMA is supposed to enforce the requirement to publish results for Listed firms. Shouldn't the CMA be pro-active?
Are you surprised why Kenya's financial markets are lethargic... scandals & scams abound... and incompetence is the order of the day? It starts at the top... -
Would Africans elect Obama to be a president?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Now... don't get all snotty... that Africa is a continent & not a country... Read the article first... linked in the subject header...
For all the racism in USA... there is more (deadlier?) tribalism most slivers of Africa than racism in the entire USA...
The BD article talks of an "Ivorite" - a former Prime Minister of Ivory Coast - being disqualified from running for the presidency coz he was not considered an "Ivorite" even though he was born in Ivory Coast!
Similar to a situation, say in 2012, if Raila is banned from running for prez in Kenya on the grounds he is "Ugandan" even though he was born in Kenya & was its PM at one point!!!
Similarly, examples of vitriol against Kenyan-born Whites & Asians... who are always on the edge during (almost) every election. Of course, during the 2007 election, the 'anger' was towards the Kikuyus (& others) who had moved to Nyanza or Rift Valley. The Whites in Zimbabwe (& increasingly S.Africa) also face similar situations.
Even a prosperous (in African terms) country like S.Africa had their share of xenophobia against fellow BLACK Africans. If not for the Football World Cup in 2010, the SA gov't (esp jacob zuma who thrives on populism) might not have reacted as they did but would have turned a blind eye to the lynching of fellow Africans.
Even the (generally) genteel Tanzanians are prone to (occasional) xenophonia esp against Kenyans.
Africa... where being African is a privilege not a right... -
Safari-Con debuts
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Well....
Safaricom seems to settled at 7/- for now... For additional details go to Bankelele.blogspot.com
So the 'foreigners' got 2bn shares @ a mere 5.50 thus giving them KShs 3bn for doing nothing!
Whereas the 'retail' Kenyan's money was tied up for 7 weeks, the 'foreigners' had to pay on 4 June 2008... essentially paying almost zero in interest.
The 'foreigners' - less than 100 even though they got 2,000,000,000 shares... that is 20,000,000 apiece - and who are thought to be the faceless corrupt in the current government.
As someone asked... "Whose goat have you stolen"?
Who suffered? The poor Kenyan who got a mere 420 shares!!!! And the GoK who lost KSh 3bn by under-pricing the shares. -
Details on how ordinary Kenyans got screwed in SafCon's OFS
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Morgan Stanley (MS) & their local partner (Dyer & Blair) had sole rights to advertise and promote the SafCon OFS abroad. By bidding 5 cents, D&B became the Transaction Adviser (TA).
A conflict arose since the TA is also a stockbroker and placing agent. D&B advised that MS gets sole rights for foreign applicants. D&B then shares in the profits made by MS. So the 5 cents is elusive i.e. it cost Kenyans far more than 5 cents. it cost them billions!
MS could choose who they wanted to participate in the OFS. They could reject an application for any reason they deemed fit. They also could peek at the applications from other brokers thus allowing their clients (& themselves) to adjust the bids as needed.
Question: So what happened?
Answer: Well, MS picked applicants who were in their good books. This means THEIR clients who provide high-priced MS with business. Some of these applicants were 'connected' to the political establishment so while the ordinary Kenyan gets 30% of the application, MS+DB 'clients' could get 20%-35% unhindered!!!
MS could also buy for their own books meaning they reject valid applicants who offered more than 5.50 to leave the field clear for them.
Question: Why was 20-35% of a firm with 99.9% Kenyan subscribers & revenue being sold to foreigners who contribute little?
Answer: Well, it was a payback for political support. Coldtusker was NOT invited to participate! Many Kenyans would have willingly paid more than 5.50 ( including yours truly) for the 20-35% that was offered to the foreigners. It turns out there were applications/bids at 6.50 but 5.50 was chosen to benefit the so-called 'foreigners'. Therefore, at the MINIMUM, Kenyans lost (2bn shares x 1/-) KShs 2bn. The 1/- is what the real market would have paid above the 5.50 the GoK accepted.
If the allocation to foreigners was 35% then the loss could be KShs 3.5 bn.
Many Kenyans borrowed and had to pay upfront while the 'foreign' (in parentheses coz these foreigners were simply a front. There is NO scrutiny of they are!!!) applicants pay AFTER the allocation!
Equity was lending at 18% pa + 3% commitment fee.
10,000 shares@5 = 50,000. The issue closed on 23 April but refunds will be disbursed at the earliest on 10 Jun & clear 4-5 days later thus 60 days of interest on 50,000.
50,000 x 3% = 1,500
50,000 x 60/360 = 1,500 (Most banks use 360 days per year when charging interest)
allocation of 30% = 3,000 shares
Cost of 3,000 shares = 15,000 (for the shares) + 1,500 (Commitment Fee) + 1,500 (Interest) = 18,000
Cost per share = 18,000/3,000 = 6/-
The losses will run even higher than what I have shown above if the price of SafCon exceeds 6.50 per share - which is likely.
A pity but Kenyans continue getting screwed... royally screwed... -
Kenyans get royally SCREWED by Safaricom
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Hear it here first!
Kenyans were taken for a ride by dyer & blair, morgan stanley, GoK crooks...
The foreigners - favoured by the idiots who set up the OFS- will pay KShs 5.50 for their shares!!! Yes, a mere 50 cents more than what wanjiku paid!
If I could get all the shares I wanted, I would have paid 6/-, let alone 5.50!!!!! So would have 1,000,000 other Kenyans.
I am pissed that the Kenyan government either got taken for a ride OR there was oddles of CORRUPTION.
Anybody interested in knowing how we got taken in? -
Disinvestment in Kenya
» Rants, Raves & Reviews After the greedy, selfish & irresponsible actions by the politicians - PNU, ODM , ODM-K, NARC, etc - Kenyans are agitating for 'more'. The problem is that ALL the 'agitators' are government employees. So not only do we have the BLOATED cabinet, we have to pay more to civil servants.
So who suffers? The private sector who face tough trading conditions, poor infrastructure, insecurity & now have to contend with higher taxes. Nobody is paying attention to the vital industrial & agriculture sector on whom we rely on for real wealth creation.
Why are we surpirsed when many manufacturers relocate their factories to other countries, farmer abandon their crops, businesses default on loans and horticulture exporters move to Ethiopia?
Nurses give ultimatum to government
Teachers want higher salaries
Increased violent crime affecting businesspeople in Nairobi
Prison wardens strike for higher salaries and better conditions
Even the prisoners are on strike for higher pay!
Mungiki threat is killing the rural economy -
GoK naps while Kenyans suffer...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Since Kenyans MPs earn huge salaries & perks ($180,000+) they do little but bicker in parliament while important economic matters are ignored.
Amos Kimunya plans to raise KShs 27bn (US$48mn) to fund extra expenditures. 70% of the funds will go for recurrent expenditure including OPERATING EXPENSES of the new ministries! Not for 'development'.
KPA needs $320mn to expand the port at Mombasa. The Japanese will loan them the money IF the GoK acts as a guarantor. The doubled capacity would enhance Mombasa's reputation as THE port in E & C Africa. It would create 1000s of jobs for Kenyans and earn Kenya additional forex.
Well, the parliament needs to approve the guarantee but, hey, they don't give two hoots. Why? They care more about a position in the bloated government rather than the country.
I think Kenyans are fools for electing these fools...
We need to get some serious lawmakers in parliament. Why do we have thugs, fossils, thieves and conmen as MPs? Because Kenyans elected most of them except those who rigged themselves in. I am ashamed that Kenya is being held back by the MPs we have.
We do have some bright sparks e.g. Martha Karua (I might not like her politics but she is a go-getter), James Orengo, Anyang Nyongo, Raila Odinga (when he stops politicking), Amos Kimunya (please STOP politicking!), etc. We need leadership from them. Now. -
A Tale of two(2) SafCon Prospectuses
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Yes, it turns out that the GoK issued a 'revised' prospectus that most investors were unaware of. Does anyone know what the full extent of the 'changes' were?
The Safaricom OFS has been controversial from the beginning starting with the 35% allocation to foreigners to the Mobitelea's 'hidden' shareholders & stake. -
Zimbabwean Follies... Worth a laugh!
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Zimbabwe was a jewel in Africa but for the disregard of (just) law, bad politics and worse economics!
Minister for Agriculture Mechanization, Joseph Made, to a White farmer in recent times:
"Why do you white people always hide behind the law"
Then he goes on "We made the law we can change it"
Huh? JM, you idiot... it's the law! You made it and if you do not like it, change it! You are the government!
BTW, like Kenya there are superfluous ministries in Zimbabwe as well. There is a Minister for Agriculture as well, rugare gumbo. No wonder Africa is rich in resources but poor as hell in "wealth".
What next a Minister of Toilets - in charge of wiping mugabe's arse?
BTW, the Z$ is at Z$241mn vs US$1 (and the US$ has been tumbling of late).
-
Is Africa politically regressing?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Sigh... Africa doesn't have much luck with Ms... exception being Nelson Mandela...
(dan) moi - thief, murderer, turncoat, cheat...
mwai (kibaki) - well, google the Kenyan blogosphere... 42 member cabinet...
muamar (gadafi) - nutcase but believes he is entitled to be Africa's king...
(bob) mugabe - where do I start with him? Virtually destroyed Zimbabwe....
museveni - once seen as progressive but... he is after anyone he perceives as a political opponent or critic. Sad...
Will Africa see deliverance any time soon? -
KAA needs to be privatized
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I don't want to sound like an apologist for Kenya Airways but the Kenya Airports Authority has not helped KQ's cause.
Corruption and poor management at KAA has led to a roof collapsing at Mombasa Airport. Last year the runway lights were not working leading to flight delays and cancellation of night flights.
KAA has not repaired or replaced the underground cables for months. They rigged up a jua-kali system which was bound to fail.
KAA needs to be privatized. Immediately!
KQ is not off the hook either. Though larger and better run than most African airlines, it remains a poor competitor to the Middle Eastern and European carriers. -
Safaricom IPO(OFS) gets murky.
» Rants, Raves & Reviews It seems there are 2 sets of rules in Kenya. One for the politically connected & then the other...
I am pissed that 35% of shares were 'reserved' for foreigners. This has denied "Wanjiku" who contributed mightily to SafCon's huge profits shares while giving them to foreigners - chosen by morgan stanley - who may have vested interests with the government folks. The foreigners get MORE shares than "Wanjiku". The Retail Pool includes ALL East Africans.
Here is another stinker. dyer & blair which does NOT fully comply with the CMA rules is allowed to buy as a QII but other investment banks are not. Of course, we know jimnah mbaru is close to the government.
Is the CMA merely incompetent or is it playing favourites by issuing a 'clarification' 3 days prior to the close of the Safacon IPO?
Yes, Kenya is back to normal. -
Kenya - Corruption back on track...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews paul pattni is back in the news. He 'surrendered' the Grand Regency Hotel to the CBK last week. KACC's wildly over-paid - & lousy performer - head honcho claimed 'victory' after spending tens of millions...
Anyway, turns out that the hotel was 'sold' without any competitive bidding... I am sure the authorities will make funny noises about how the buyers bought it legally...
Yep, Kenya is back to normal. kibz & cronies have 4.5 more years... and they have started not one second too soon... -
Is Mungiki related to PNU?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Why is it that the gov't can't stop Mungiki?
Since PNU (& its 'owners') has control of the gov't with george saitoti as the minister for internal security... why is it that no-one does anything about the mungiki?
The chaps in Kisumu & RV were killed by the police. The police spokeman called a news clip a 'rambo-like movie'. Why can't they use live bullets against the mungiki? Or is it the police cannot touch the mungiki?
14 deaths - in just one night - and counting...
Is there a parallel government?
What is saitoti doing, if anything? -
42 Ministers + prez + pm + 2 deputy pms = too many leeches.
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Yes, expect higher taxes as Kenya has a cabinet of 46 members. Then there is muthuara & wako. No wonder we remain a 3rd world country. And we will for many more years!
Oh, then there are 50 asst ministers! And at least 50 Permanent Secretaries!
At this rate, Kenya won't join the ranks of the developed countries until the year 2100... I will be long dead by then!
Here is the list...
I think they should have left Michuki in Roads. He is a go-getter. What is he going to do in Environment? -
Again - Apple TV is not GTV
» Rants, Raves & Reviews When will the Business Daily learn?
Where are their journalistic ethics?
Or does no-one at BD research before they publish?
I think Apple should sue BD for misrepresenting their product. -
sam ' I can't count' kivuitu at it. Again.
» Rants, Raves & Reviews It's bad enough the idiot won't resign but he just won't shut up!
Chairman Samuel Kivuitu Wednesday said reports that ECK would be appearing before the Kriegler commission as the principal subject of the investigation were “intended to mislead the public and destroy the commission’s credibility.”
What credibility? It was shredded to bits after the 2007 elections! -
CMA wants to kill of Venture Capital Funds
» Rants, Raves & Reviews New laws threaten edge of venture capital firms 
Written by Steve Mbogo (Business Daily)
April 10, 2008:
My comments in RED
New rules meant to guide the operation of venture capital firms have introduced high taxation and restrictions on investments that players say may threaten the sector’s survival.
The rules are meant to regulate the venture capitalists — who take stakes in start ups and midsized firms and exit as the businesses near maturity — who have shown unprecedented interest in the Kenyan market over the last two years.
The sector is now raising a red flag over a taxation regime that it says makes resident venture capital funds uncompetitive at the global level. This has seen some firms opt for other countries like Mauritius where the taxation is more favourable.
I have blogged how Mauritius is diversifying its economy using brains... while Kenya... oh, well...
Administration costs are also high as venture capitalists will now be required to have a contracted fund manager to oversee and allocate the investments of the venture capitalist.
How does a small VC fund - managing KShs 100mn - afford a Fund Manager? Many VC funds start off much smaller.
Peter Njoka, a partner at Aureos Kenya Managers which manages a venture capital company known as Acacia Fund, said such a manager is paid a management fee plus value added tax (VAT), yet the funds do not have any “vatable” services to sell.
“The fund absorbs all the VAT of 16 per cent which eats into its resources and increases the cost of doing business here,” said Mr Njoka. He however said the new rules would help the industry grow to international standards faster.
The industry might die or is left to the big boys. Warren Buffet does say that if he was born anywhere but the USA at the time he was born... he might have not been as successful! I can guarantee he would not have succeeded in Kenya with its arcane laws, corrupt judicial system, corrupt & incompetent politicians, the selfish NSE & incompetent CMA!
The new Registered Venture Capital Companies Regulations (2007) define the principal objective of venture funds as provision of risk capital to small and medium size businesses in Kenya.
The regulations however give venture funds flexibility in determining the kind of companies they invest in. They require the fund to have a minimum paid up share capital of Sh100 million shillings and proven history in operating such a fund.
How the hell does a newly established fund have an operating history? The problem is the CMA is full of 'career civil servants' who do nothing better than do nothing! Get serious... Unless you invite foreign VCs how do yo expand the industry since there are only (officially) 9 VC funds. So this means no new local VC funds?
Daniel Muchika of InvesteQ Capital says the regulations automatically lock out start up venture capital funds by demanding that eligible applicants produce audited statements for at least three years.
Go figure... Are these guys born as idiots or did they learn to be idiots?
For a venture capital fund to be registered, it must present the CMA with its preferred mode of divestiture from eligible venture capital enterprises, including details of risk factors that are specific to the chosen investment sectors, or sectors intended to be invested in. The company must also present a bank reference from a commercial bank.
Erm, so if a VC fund is putting its own money into the ventures i.e. not borrowing... why do they need a bank reference? If the bank is lending to the VC then let the bank do its own due diligence!
The regulations restrict venture capital funds from trading in real property; banking and financial services; and retail and wholesale trading services as their primary businesses.
What is this idiocy? Why not let the VC funds do what they like! They are in business to make money! Real property could benefit from VC funds!
“This means that venture funds have narrower options of investments. It means that venture funds have to scout for ideas that promise quite high return on investments, usually of at least 25 per cent per annum to compensate for this,” said Mr Muchika.
So the CMA is raising the cost to the investees. An investee needs to provide 25% p.a. return to get funds from a VC fund. Let the VC fund decide what they want to make. Open the market to VC funds!
Currently, there are nine private equity funds operating in the market, five with a combined capital base of over Sh4.9 billion have targeted SMEs in East Africa. But a 10th fund known as East Africa Development Bank Venture Capital Fund worth Sh2.6 billion will make an entry into the local market later this year.
Others include Business Partners International Limited (BPI) launched in February last year, Grofin East Africa launched in mid-2005, Acumen Fund, InvesteQ Capital Limited and African Agricultural Capital that focuses on agriculture related businesses.
The funds should also preserve transaction records for at least seven years and to verify the sources of their funds as well as investments to ensure they are not used as a conduit for funds sourced from criminal activities including money laundering and corruption. In this respect the regulations are seen as porous. -
bob 'murderer' mugabe tried populism again...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews mugabe lost the election in spite of his attempts to rig them, so he hits back at the White farmers to deflect attention from the 'delayed' announcement of the election results.
Apparently, most White farmers bought the land post-independence so were not complicit in the land grabbing by the Brits but they make convenient scapegoats. Reminds me of dan 'thieving' moi who blamed the Asians/Indians for all the ills the country faced while it was him & his cronies who were really behind the scams & violence that rocked Kenya.
BTW, Zimbabwe now imports maize since the idiotic cronies of mugabe who got/stole the land can't farm it!
All major scams in Kenya have political support from kenyatta's land grabbing to goldenberg & now anglo-fleecing. How could such scams take place without kenyatta, moi & kibz knowing of them? -
KPLC - Change the law!
» Rants, Raves & Reviews We need to think out of the box to prevent crime. I say let's allow KPLC to 'electrify' the transformers so the crooks can get a nasty shock even if its lethal!
Currently, KPLC is not allowed to electrify the transformers... which emboldens thieves. I say... we should change the law! -
Kenyan politicians killing the Golden Goose...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Nyanza province is among Kenya's poorest regions. Yet an American investor who has converted part of the area into a series of financially viable projects is being hounded courtesy of corrupt politicians. What a pity!
How will Kenya attract the Capital (FDI & local investments) it needs with this behavior?
Kenya should be increasing its ability to feed itself with worldwide grain shortages. We need strong laws & enforcement against corruption. I say we should hang the corrupt councilors. We need to learn from Singapore that metes out severe penalties for corruption.
I do not support subsidies but we have to provide incentives e.g. better roads, zero corruption, open markets & lower taxes to encourage production.
Where are Kenyan gov't honchos who should be aiding Kenyans do business in Sudan?
On the other hand, the Indian gov't is aggressively helping Indian firms establish themselves in Africa.
Kenya will waste money on silly cabinet inaugurations. I am disappointed how raila has capitulated to the trappings of power. They should be spending the money selling Kenya to investors & tourists!
Instead of supporting the "Grown Under The Sun" campaign that will provide more jobs to our farmers, exporters, KQ & myriad other folks... the Kenya govt is NOT sufficiently funding the campaign but funding the purchase of new cars & crap for the new ministers! -
Neither Lean nor Clean.... Kenya's cabinet...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews (Huge) Sigh... the 40 ministers is NOT a LEAN cabinet... maybe (just painfully laughing myself to sleep) it will be clean...
Put in perspective... I estimate KShs 4bn will be needed to fund the lifestyles & salaries of 1 prez, 1 VP, 1 PM, 2 deputy PMs, 40 ministers, 80 asst ministers and all the razzmatazz (chase cars, houses, allowances, travel, security) that goes with their positions...
The sale of 25% of Safaricom will raise KShs 50-55bn... If the money was invested in 1 yr T-Bills the interest (8%) would just cover the above costs!!! No wonder there are no more complaints from either party about selling Safaricom's shares!
In the meantime, Kenyans pay:- 50%+ in taxes on petrol while the oil companies (8% percent gross margin) are blamed
- relatively high income (25-33%) taxes on low thresholds while MPs pay almost nothing
- 26% in taxes on airtime while MPs get 'free' airtime allowances
- high duties & taxes (approaching 100%) on cars while MPs get cars duty free
- taxes on benefits like housing & car allowances while MPs pay nothing
For all the posturing... is there a LEADER among the elected politicians?
Sigh... I have said many times, we are cursed. We need a Guy Fawkes. We need a Lee Kuan Yew. We need LEADERS. -
(Politically) Is Zimbabwe another Kenya?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Will mugabe "kibaki" the Zimbabweans...
Kenya or Zimbabwe?
Polls where the opposition was hampered at every point.
Opposition claims victory.
Electoral Commission goes 'dark' ostensibly to release 'official' results.
Riot police in the streets.
Opposition wins the majority of parliament seats.
Opposition declares presidential victory.
Incumbent scoffs at Opposition's claim of victory.
Electoral Commission continues leaving Zimbabweans in the dark.
Why don't African countries emulate Botswana where elections are not perfect but relatively fair, corruption is very low & human rights are respected. This translates to economic success where the benefits are for all citizens to enjoy.
I think Botswana follows the Singapore model. Rwanda is also worth looking at for sustainable development and a clean government. -
Kenyan gov't is senile...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Why are the Kenyan police tear-gassing peaceful demonstrations?
What is wrong with the government idiots - well, they are idiots... - that they order crackdowns of this nature?
Africa has a disease. It is the Big Man Syndrome. It effects are felt in Zimbabwe & Gabon. In Kenya & Uganda. In Libya & Egypt.
Who do they look upto? Pol Pot? -
KPLC - Concerns...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews KPLC will 'fire' the managers from Manitoba Hydroelectric. They were worth it. Let's take a look at history.
KPLC & its sharehodlers suffered immensely when samuel gichuru was MD coz he spent more time negotiating kickbacks, marrying (or not) 3 wives & making political hay instead of running KPLC.
Manitoba brought professionalism, reduced corruption, improved infrastructure & increased profits. We can now pay KPLC bills at ATMs, Posta Pay (Post Office), by post & banks (Co-op Bank). The customer service is far better & connections are increasing annually.
My fear is that 'political' appointments will be the powers-that be at KPLC and it will be downhill all over again. We saw this happening during dan 'the thief' moi's era. Some of the currently active politicians were 'suppliers' to KPLC. They want back in.
Some will argue that we do not need expats, my argument is that the transition should be 'natural' i.e. someone trains under the expats. The expats' mandate should include succession. Firms like KPLC that have significant government control tend to play to the politicians' & not the shareholders' or customers' tune.
Paying Manitoba KShs 80-100 million over 2 years is a far better deal than the BILLIONS that KPLC will lose going forward.
The need for efficiency, quick decisions & technical knowledge is needed more than ever since Kenya faces an electricity shortfall. Kenya needs to negotiate complex new power agreements immediately & start building interconnections with various countries including Ethiopia.
Corrupt or inept managers will not do. Period. -
Business Daily Online goofs...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Someone please tell the business daily that GTV is not the same as Apple TV... -
Do you trust alfie 'goebbels' mutua?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews alfie 'goebbels' mutua is at it again...
denying the truth to protect his paycheck... So do you trust The Standard or alfie?
My money is on The Standard...
Confusion reigns in the city as the idiots at City Hall & Ministry of Local Government implemented traffic plans without thinking them through. BTW, the traffic police are at odds with City Hall... Idiots I say...
So much for anti-corruption in the new gov't... I am not the only one who knows (ordinary) Kenyans are going to be raped... -
Kenya - Corruption or Incompetence?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Will Kenya ever make it out of its morass? No, not the recent political violence but the constant corruption we see since jomo kenyatta's days as president?
Massive land grabbing by those politically connected to jomo "the land grabber" kenyatta was the order of the day. The kenyatta family still 'owns' 1000s of hectares of stolen land at the Coast & Central provinces while needy families have nothing.
During kenyatta's reign, paul ngei - kenyatta's friend & lousy businessman - was 'forgiven' - by amending Kenya's constitution - for stealing/diverting goverment supplies for ngei's own use.
The theft & corruption during dan "the idiot" moi's days as president is mind-boggling but he is still a free man dispensing unwanted advice. Goldenberg remains a scandal that cost Kenya 10 years of development.
We have all read about anglo-fleecing during mwai kibaki's first 5 years. amos wako who was the legal brain behind the approval of these deals is still AG. I am troubled by the following stories barely into kibz' second 5 years. Is there no resolve to stop the vice?
Untaxed & illegal sugar imports provide unfair competition to local sugar producers who pay heavy taxes - income taxes, VAT & sugar levies. Definitely corruption.
The delayed sale of the refinery seems to be due to some lopsided deal/promise the Kenya government made with the Libyans. This delay will hurt Kenya's economy as Uganda & Sudan will ship their oil elsewhere for refining. Incompetence? Or did the Libyans grease the wheels?
Kenyans will die while the top dogs make merry. Corruption means deadly chemicals are dumped in Kenya because corrupt heads at the KPA - & KRA - are not paying attention. Or were bribed.
I don't get these idiots at the CMA. Was someone paid off or is it just sheer incompetence? We have 2 brokers down & in each case the situation was allowed to degenerate to horrendous levels. A point to remember is that edward ntalami was in charge of the CMA when the crap started hitting the fan. ntalami was also behind a collapsed broker - Sterling Securities. Hmmm?
Just as oil prices hit a new high & our forests are being decimated, government agencies are bickering over a new LPG terminal that is badly needed. The stink of entrenched interests & corruption is definitely here. Or is it mere incompetence?
The political clashes are not over. Mt Elgon remains volatile. What are the 1000's of police doing? -
When business trumps politics...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews India has 4 of the top 10 billionaires according to Forbes 2008 list. Forbes does not count despots & kings in its list... though inherited wealth is included e.g. the Hariri kids of Lebanon.
Here is the link to the Forbes List for 2008.
The list is an - somewhat skewed - indictation of what economic reforms can do for a country. Africa has a few billionaires - Dangote of Nigeria & some S.Africans - but the combined wealth of the top 4 Indian billionaires is far greater than most African countries' GDP.
Lakshmi Mittal - 57 - $45bn
Mukesh Ambani - 50 - $43bn
Anil Ambani - 48 - $42bn
KP Singh - 76 - $30bn
Combined wealth = $160bn
Unlike many Kenyans - and Africans - who continue harping about 'colonialism'... India has moved on... look at the list below and you will notice that many of them were born post-1947 (51 years or younger)... I would say the cut-off age should be 56 years since kids start nursery at around 5 years thus anyone born after 1942 in India was a post-independence child.
Using the same metric as above, Kenya is far behind the curve. Well, at least officially. There may be one or two. Any suggestions on who? Can the wealth be verified?
With the weakening US$ & 8% economic growth in India, I would not be surprised to see the Indian fortunes in US$ rise even higher by end of 2008.
I have said that Kenya (and Africa) needs to look at India for development ideas. It remains a model for African countries.
It has:- Democracy - albeit often flawed
- Diverse population, cultures & languages
- Wide economic base that was very low 20 years ago
- Agragian based economy until 5 years ago. Agriculture still remains the core mainstay for most Indians
- A former British colony - I don't think this is a handicap. I am just saying that Africans should quit moaning
- Huge educated diasporan in the Western world
- Huge entrepreneurial diasporan in the Western world
- Navigated tough shoals regarding sectarian violence e.g. Khalistan ('seccession' war), Hindu-Muslim riots, Wars with Pakistan, War with China, Caste (Tribal-style divisions) discriminations, etc
I had some problems with including the table here but please check this link out for the Forbes list. -
Political bickering starts...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Now that the international community has moved to other more important issues, the cracks in the so-called 'Grand Coalition' have started...
Does anyone have Guy Fawkes' phone number?
The good news is that Kenyans are unlikely to return to a despotic presidency. The bad news is that the struggle continues to rid Kenya of one...
Kenya has goodwill... let's not lose it...
I say we should outsource Kenya's governance to Lee Kuan Yew... or there is always Obama - if he does not win the USA election - or ask Kenya's business leaders to form a junta. Pay for performance. -
Raila - please show the way...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Sigh... for a country that is wallowing in poverty... I mean most of the citizens... the first order of business is to provide Raila with limos, palaces & the such...
Shouldn't Raila move to a (nice) house in Kibera that would attract infrastructure, reliable electricity supply, security, etc to an area that needs it?
I think Raila should share the trappings of power & move into the Kibera area. I expect the presence of GSU will deter some criminals around Raila's house. The people power will protect Raila as well.
Sigh... Raila, please do the right thing.
On a positive note, Kisumu is likely to get a boost if the power-sharing agreement runs its course... -
Another deal down the crapper...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Do the politicians - esp on PNU ones - understand the cost of their intransigence to Kenya?
Parmalat was in talks to invest in or acquire Spin Knit dairy but they are backing out of the transaction.
New KCC - #1 is government owned & controlled. The top management is often perceived to be close to PNU by virtue of their ethnicity.
Brookside - #2 is owned by the kenyatta family. No prizes to guess where their political loyalties lie.
So these entities have averted - by chance & not design - the entrance of a major player into the market. Parmalat has substantial experience in & developed markets. Of course, the losers - as always - are Kenyans who need competition as well as additional investments in the marketplace. -
Capitalism or Democracy?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews China is trying to core points with corrupt, ineffective & idiotic African "rulers" by claiming that western-style democracy is not for Africa.
The best form of government is a benevolent dictator like Lee Kuan Yew of Singapore. He is a leader who has done well for his country. Most African rulers are tribal chiefs who want to line their own pockets.
jomo kenyatta - Growing up all I heard was praise for him. What came out later was his acceptance of corruption by himself (land grabbing ad nauseam), his cronies (paul ngei who diverted government supplies to his wife's shop), his tribesmen (too many examples) & his associates. Died in office after a period of senility.
julius nyerere - No personally corrupt but corruption thrived in Tanzania since there socialism was doomed. I wish Tanzania was an economic success to prove Africa can have national leaders. Retired to a simple country life.
idi amin - The less said the better. buffoon #1 & the Israelis kicked his fat butt. Overthrown by military means and went into exile in Saudi Arabia whose ruling family are not democrats in the remotest sense. amin should have slow-roasted over an open fire.
robert mugabe - Plunged what was one of Africa's shining examples into anarchy. Over 1 million Zimbabweans are refugees in S.Africa. Others have escaped to Tanzania among other neighboring countries. In the meantime, mugabe & his cronies are stealing all they can. 84 years & likely to die (or be killed) while in office. The sooner the better!
Basically it is difficult to find shining examples of "dictators" in Africa. Mandela could have been a dictator but he chose the gentlemanly road & retired after one term. Yes, he was not forced to retire which is practically unheard of in Africa.
Whereas it is easy to prescribe the "benevolent dictatorship" form of government for Africa, the leaders are not there. If the leaders are there, African tribal interests will not allow the "real" leaders to succeed.
Democracy is NOT an easy path but if a large country like India with 1.2 billion people, numerous languages, multiple religions, sectarian divisions, caste system overhang, belligerent neighbors and numerous other issues can make democracy work so should African nations. -
Who owns Invesco Insurance Company?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews So... why is the gov't stepping in to rescue a failed insurance firm?
Who owns Invesco?
What happened to free markets?
Would the gov't step in to save Pan-Africa Insurance or Jubilee Insurance?
Why are taxpayer funds being used to prop up a firm that was mis-managed?
The folks behind Uchumi's collapse (kirubi & cronies) were never brought to book since they are supporters of kibz & cronies... Is this is the same for Invesco? -
Kenya - Not my Kenya!
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I wonder if these folks live in same Kenya most of us do...
Amos Kimunya - Finance Minister (illegitimate government?): Expects economic growth of 7%. Probably his pocket but not most other Kenyans!
Njuguna Ndungu - CBK Governor: Expects 6% economic growth. His own staff (Prof Terry Ryan) was at 4%. Is Alan Greenspan available?
Kiraitu Murungi - Energy Minister: Blames the Oil Marketers for high fuel prices while conveniently ignoring that 50% of the fuel price comprises government TAXES. To add insult to injury, the transport costs are pushed much higher due to Kenya Pipeline Company & Kenya Petroleum Refinery - both government owned/controlled - inefficiencies. Poor roads & insecurities adds to the problem!
Kenya Revenue Authority: Implements new taxes & rules on Kenyans in 2008 while most Kenyans & their businesses suffer. Example: Forms to report property losses can only be gotten from district offices who have to approve the same. Many of the displaced persons whose properties were destroyed/vandalized could be killed if they returned to the districts!
Eric Kiraithe - Police spokesman: "Love triangle" theories & "Rambo-movies" comparisons for police violence & murders. Its a pity none of his family is in harm's way.
Hussein Ali - Police commissioner: Talks of peace being "restored" when people are escorted AWAY from their homes! Same idiot who didn't have the guts to hold the Armenian brothers in Kenyan jails thus had them deported. He couldn't even fire the CID director (joseph kamau) who told ali to go pound sand!
Alfred Mutua - Government Goebbels: He missed his calling as a jester. I can't believe the crap he spews. Claims John Kufuor flew 6 hours for a cup of tea with kibz. Producer of poor-quality TV shows.
Evan Gicheru - Chief Justice: Calls Kenya's legal system "efficient & reliable". Is he joking? It takes YEARS for simple cases to be resolved. Corruption is still a problem. Of course, don't forget the expense! Unless he thinks the receipt of his outrageous salary & perks is "efficient & reliable".
You Know Who - The Serial Slapper: Slap, slap & more slaps. Cameramen, MCs, MPs... Slappity, slap, slap.
In the meantime, the inflation rate is on a tear, job losses continue, properties are being destroyed, lives lost & destroyed, businesses are closing down, exports are down, transport is paralyzed... the woes continue...
Of course, the MPs get paid, the ministers get paid, the government employees get paid. The idiot samuel "my mommy didn't teach me to count" kivuitu gets paid. -
Kenya vs S.Korea (just for laughs)
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Kenya vs S.Korea
Round 1
Land & Water Mass: 582,650 sq km vs 98,480 sq km
Irrigated Land: 1,030 sq km vs 8,780 sq km
Population: 37mn vs 49mn
Literacy: 85% vs 99%
Round 2
GDP (PPP basis 2007 est): $58bn vs 1,206bn {This is NOT a typo!!!)
GDP (official exchange rate 2007 est): $19bn vs $824bn {This is NOT a typo!!!)
GDP per capita (PPP basis 2007 est): $1,600 vs $24,600
So... why the above info? Well, it turns out that President Lee of S.Korea plans to cut down the ministries from 18 to 13 to "slimline" his government. And our "brilliant" maybe he is(not) prez-in-residence, the Hon. Mwai Kibaki, has named 50% of his cabinet. This 50% amounts to 17 posts. So there are another 17 posts waiting to be filled.
And Kenyans are upset at Dr. James Watson, a Nobel Prize winner, for making comments that... dare I say it...
Many of my readers know I wish we had a Lee Kuan Yew instead of jomo "I love grabbing land" kenyatta as a leader at independence.
Back to the cabinets. S. Korea has an economy almost 44x than Kenya's yet practices more fiscal restraint. Sigh... -
Another "What The Fuzz" moment...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Courts getting closer to people, says CJ
Story by NATION Correspondent
Publication Date: 1/17/2008The Chief Justice Wednesday urged a construction firm to speed up the new Malindi court project saying the delay was denying people justice.
Mr Evan Gicheru said the Sh285 million project was behind schedule and should be ready by July.
He said the completion of the new court premises countrywide would bring justice closer to the people.
“We want to arrive at an ultimate level where the furthest court of law from any Kenyan is four kilometres,” he said.
The CJ addressed a staff meeting at the Malindi old court chambers before visiting the multi-million new court site with the resident magistrate Mr Joshua Kiarie.
On the Lamu court that was scheduled to end several years ago, Mr Gicheru said there were no funds to complete it.
The CJ also urged Kenyans to resolve disputes through the courts instead of using street demonstrations or violence.
“My message to Kenyans is this... Don’t use machetes. Use the legal system, which is efficient and reliable,” he said.
WTF...? Lest I get sued... I shall keep quiet. Or is it that I am at a loss for words? Or is it that I can feel the bile rising?
Please let me know what you think...
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Economic Losses Mount for Kenya
» Rants, Raves & Reviews In spite of various "all-is-normal" pronouncements by the (possibly illegitimate) government, Kenya has & will take a HUGE hit in 2008. I wonder if these "ivory-tower" mandarins, who get huge salaries no matter what, live in the same Kenya I do?
I can't go in much detail but I will highlight the major issues as I see them. Keep in mind Kenya is/was a US$12bn economy. KShs 780bn.
Tourism- Cancellation of charter flights. Loss of immediate tourism benefits esp at the Coast.
- Many charter firms will adopt a wait-and-see approach just as they did in 1997. Some may NEVER return. This is a long term loss.
- Hotels are almost empty. Whereas January sees 70%+ occupancy coz its winter in USA & Europe, the maximum seems to be 35% for "new" arrivals. Taking into account that some hotels have closed that means true occupancy (vs available beds) is closer to 20%.
- KQ loses traffic both local & European traffic. KQ has been growing rapidly since it was privatised. This may be its first year that it sees a drop in passenger & revenue growth. KQ - a Kenyan firm - contributes directly to Kenya by buying foods, blankets, services, etc from Kenyan manufacturers. Not to mention Kenyan staff.
- Many Game & National Parks are no-go areas for tourists. These include L. Nakuru National Park & Mt. Elgon National Park.
- Cancellation of conferences. Kenya was becoming a preferred destination for these regional conferences BUT there are other options e.g. Uganda which has recently built 1,000s of rooms for CHOGM.
- Kenya's #1 forex earner about to drop a few places. Estimated losses in 2008 will be KShs 60bn. 7.7% of Kenya's GDP.
- Loss/waste of produce destined for Europe during the holiday season. This produce rotted as it could not get to the airport.
- Penalties for missed or late deliveries by the exporters.
- Ethiopia & Uganda will "eat" Kenya's lunch as European importers diversify their suppliers. Long-term damage to Kenya.
- #2 forex earner with substantial effects on the economy in terms of jobs. Losses could be KShs 40bn (5.1%). The loss of jobs & services associated with horticulture will just add to the misery.
- 100s (if not 1,000s) of cars, matatus, lorries & buses were destroyed. In Kisumu an entire car dealership was destroyed. This reduces competition among transporters.
- Kenyans will have to pay more to transport goods & people to Rift Valley, Nyanza & Western province.
- Damaged roads - in addition to the pathetic roads we already have - coz of idiots who dug trenches across them or blocked them with debris.
- Knock-on effect on everything. Cost of commodities, services, etc will all go up fueling inflation.
- Phone firms have losts sales & equipment. Hopefully, they will upgrade their equipment soon.
- The port is congested. This affects exports from Kenya. Goods in transit to Uganda are also affected thus denying Kenyans income & jobs.
- Increase in cost of basic commodities. Some of these "costs" will not go down. Inflationary pressures can be felt all over.
- Increased government expenditure on providing aid & relief to displaced victims.
- kibz announced relief packages to businessmen. I am worried that the funds will be wasted by (1) incompetent government employees (2) corruption (3) selected beneficiaries aka tribalism.
- Kenya govt will see cessation of donor aid. Whereas the budget might not "use" donor aid in its calculations, many projects benefit from it. These are projects the government has either ignored or not interested in.
- Increased gov't borrowing from local markets will crowd out the private sector.
- Huge potential payouts by insurance firms will affect the balance sheets of these firms. Some will collapse.
- Exports to COMESA & E.Africa accounts for 35% of Kenya's exports. Larger than any other region.
- Uganda is working with Tanzania to set up an alternate route for fuel imports.
- Kenya has lost markets in Burundi, Zambia, Rwanda & Somalia to others. The S.Africans are moving in. They provide stability that Kenya does not.
- Local manufacturers are stuck with goods they can't sell esp to the "opposition" strongholds.
- Exports have slowed down to a trickle due to transport restrictions.
- Many firms are laying off workers. Some had started hiring last year in anticipation of increased business in 2008.
- Many firms have been severely affected by the slowdown & are in trouble with the banks. They can't service their loans.
- I expect some bankruptcies in 2008. A real pity.
- Idiots burned factories & equipment in tea-growing areas. The loss of exports will affect Kenya.
- Farms are laying off workers. They can't process the produce coz the factories are damaged.
- Crops are rotting since harvested crops can't be transported to the buyers. This is especially so in the Rift Valley region. Losses all around.
- I have discussed exports above.
- Dairy farmers are losing KShs millions DAILY since they can't get their milk to the processors. KCC's Eldoret plant remains closed.
- They pumped in huge amounts over the past 2 years. Some of them will stop. Why build a house in Eldoret if it can be destroyed?
- Many invested on the NSE. Why do so if the growth prospects are diminished?
- Media - Politics is emotive & the media is taking full advantage. I am sure sales of newspapers, radio & TV ads have gone up.
- Building suppliers will start benefiting from reconstruction but it will be a slow process.
- Some firms will come out stronger as they will consolidate market share. This is a blow to a market economy by stifling competition.
Overall... Kenya is in a funk. There is hope but in 2009 & beyond IF there is peace. It is difficult to say what teh real growth will be but probably around 5%. The loss of momentum will affect us far in the future.
Oh, and the bloody MPs, ministers, prez & cronies continue screwing us for more while the economy shrinks. - Cancellation of charter flights. Loss of immediate tourism benefits esp at the Coast.
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The new Kenya - A Police State
» Rants, Raves & Reviews
WTF...
I am ANGRY... MAD at the current state of affairs in my beloved Kenya...
Is Kenya reverting to a police state?- The Election Commission of Kenya bans access to all independent media houses except the government/state mouthpiece KBC when announcing the general election results.
- The ECK declares kibz as the winner... fine... that is their mandate but what is pissing me off is NOT Raila's "loss" but the "state of emergency" that has been declared in citoes like Kisumu soon thereafter!!! Nairobi has been under siege all evening.
- john "the home guard" michuki has clamped down on the independent media. Live broadcasts have been banned as has coverage of politics. BULLSHIT...
- The police, GSU & army are being deployed all over. The bloodshed has started as many opposition supporters have been killed already.
Apparently ODM has announced a rally at Uhuru Park to inaugurate Raila as the "People's President" & a "parallel government". Are these signs of a civil war?
I fear there will be more bloodshed. The police, GSU & army are being deployed all over. And they are killing people; mainly opposition supporters.
I hope that ODM is not encouraging violent acts by their supporters. As much as ODM protest sthe alleged rigging, it is WRONG for its supporters to burn houses, loot businesses & cause mayhem. Yesterday's scenes from Kisumu were not about a legitimate protest for the truth but mere thievery.
I can't believe kibz who is considered a gentleman is allowing his advisers to run roughshod over him & other Kenyans. How can kibz - a relatively well-educated urbane person - allow such barbaric acts?
Rumors are that Raila has been arrested by NSIS. Any solid confirmations?
No wonder African countries are often portrayed as being UNCIVILISED... I do not care to be politically correct... If this is how the government acts then YES, WE ARE UNCIVILISED... Just watch the news. That which gets past the censors. It would not surprise me if the police & GSU are in the middle of murdering 100s of Kenyans.- Is 2007's Kenya any better than 1992's Kenya?
- Is 2007's Kenya any better than mugabe's Zimbabwe?
I was HAPPY/ECSTATIC/JUBILANT that we had (relatively) peaceful polls on Thursday. I was PROUD to be Kenyan. The maturity we the world that we are a peaceful civilised country. It was a lie that lasted but a day. Now, I cannot say the same.
P.S. I have had trouble logging into certain political/newswebsites. I wonder if the Kenya gov't can cut off internet access to the world. To the experts out there, please advise if that is possible? -
Safaricom (maybe) coming...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews First... SafariCon stays true to its name... truth in advertising is unknown to them... Customer Service is unknown... more later...
Now to their proposed Offer For Sale - not an Initial Public Offering that would raise funds for the firm - that will provide the current gov't with funds.
Rumours have been flying back & forth but the total value of the Offer could run from KShs 35 Billion to 60 Billion. Of this amount, healthy chunk 20-35% may be reserved for "foreign" buyers. My gut feeling is that it will tend towards KShs 60bn with KShs 35bn earmarked for "retail" investors. The balance will go to SafCon employees, dealers, foreign buyers, etc!
I think it is UNFAIR to sell part of SafCon to "foreigners" while Kenyans will be starved of shares. The mantra among the brokers is that Kenyans can't absorb 100% of SafCon. I say that is BULL****. After all it is mainly Kenyans (incl diaspora) & Kenyan residents who contributed to SafCon's success.
Considering the over-subscription for other shares e.g. Kenya Re-insurance & KenGen shows the capacity is there. KenGen raised KShs 27bn vs only KShs 8bn worth of shares offered for sale. All the GOK divestitures were oversubscribed including Mumias, albeit barely.
It is estimated there will be 1,000,000 CDS accounts opened by 24 Dec 2007 - elections be damned coz money beats politics! - & an average application of KShs 35,000 means a 100% subscription rate if the Offer is for KShs 35bn. SafCon has a huge reach all over the country & a low minimum application threshold will open the OFS up to many more Kenyans.
* Hundreds of thousands of Kenyans are prepared for SafCon's OFS with at least 10,000/- saved up.
* Tens of thousands of Kenyans have the "average" of 35,000/- saved up.
* Thousands of Kenyans have more than 100,000/- saved up.
* Hundreds have 10,000,000/- or more - going by Shareholder lists.
* Add the Kenyan Unit Trusts, Insurance Firms, Banks, etc who have 25,000,000/- & more to invest.
* Finally there are the E.African Investors who are treated as "locals". (Erm, unlike the Ugandans, the Tanzanians treat Kenyans as "foreign" investors, why do we allow them - Tanzanians - to participate as locals?)
Therefore, even if we had KShs 60bn worth of shares for sale... they would be sold, nay, over-subscribed if sold at the right "discount" to Kenyans.
I think SafCon should favour Kenyan, then the Ugandans, then E. Africans... before the "foreigners"... -
Safcon "divestiture"... almost there... or not?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews First... SafCon stays true to its name... truth in advertising is unknown to them... Customer Service is unknown... more later...
Now to their Offer For Sale not an Initial Public Offering that would raise funds for the firm.
Rumours have been flying back & forth but the total value of the Offer could run from KShs 35 Billion to 60 Billion. In addition, a healthy chunk 20-35% may be reserved for "foreign" buyers.
I think it is UNFAIR to sell part of SafCon to foreign buyers while Kenyans will be starved. The mantra among the brokers is that Kenyans can't absorb 100% of SafCon. I say that is BULLSHIT.
Considering the over-subscription for other shares e.g. Kenya Re-insurance & KenGen shows the capacity is there. KenGen raised KShs 27bn vs KShs 8bn worth of shares offered for sale.
There will be an estimated 1,000,000 CDS accounts by 24 Dec 2007, elections be damned biashara iendelee, & an average application of KShs 35,000 means a 100% subscription rate.
* Hundreds of thousands of Kenyans are prepared for SafCon's OFS with at least 10,000/- to their name.
* Tens of thousands of Kenyans have the "average" of 35,000/-
* Thousands of Kenyans have more than 100,000/-
* Hundreds have 10,000,000/- or more.
* Add the Kenyan Unit Trusts, Insurance Firms, Banks, etc who have 10,000,000/- & more.
* Finally there are the E.African Investors who are treated as "locals". (Erm, unlike the Ugandans, the Tanzanians treat Kenyans as "foreign" investors, why do we allow them - Tanzanians - to participate as locals?)
Therefore, even if we had KShs 60bn worth of shares for sale... they would be sold, nay, over-subscribed if sold at the right "discount"!!!! -
More Corruption?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews 
Sometimes the unlikeliest sources uncover corruption!
Business Daily ran a story about the GOK moving towards issuing new driving licenses. I always wondered why GOK sticks with the old "booklet" system!
Now I know why!
The new cards are expected to save the State at least Sh100 per driver that is spent on printing of paper renewals every year. Philip Langat, a deputy secretary in the Ministry of Transport, says it costs Sh500 to produce one of the red booklets.
Yikes! We have thick textbooks that cost less to produce! We have micro-processors that cost less! We can buy SIM cards for less! We can buy 256 KB flash disks for less!
Or is someone skimming off the top?
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Why are we afraid of Egypt?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Egypt has denied us (E.Africans) the use of water from Lake Victoria for decades.
Egypt builds a huge dam (which allows for loss of water by evaporation) but denies dams around rivers feeding Lake Victoria.
Egypt - mainly a desert country - has a jungle infantry battalion.
Egypt has "cheap" electricity & water by denying us the right to build hydroelectric dams & power plants. Uganda is allowed a dam because the water feeds the Nile.
Using COMESA, Egypt imports then re-exports sugar to Kenya at preferential tariffs.
Using COMESA, Egypt uses subsidies to export to E.African countries.
Screw the Egyptians. Let us do what is best for us.
What's the worst?- They stop buying Kenyan tea. There are other markets besides Egypt. As is, Kenyan tea is used for blending by India & Sri Lanka thus the Egyptians will still buy it!
- Stop KQ flying to Cairo. Well, more Kenyans visit Egypt as tourists than the other way round.
- They invade Kenya. Let them try! I have faith that Kenyans, Tanzanians & Ugandans will kick their arses back to the Red Sea.
Comesa warns Egypt on subsidiesBy Brian Adero
The Common Market for Eastern and Southern Africa (Comesa) secretariat has threatened legal action against Egypt over claims that it was unfairly subsidising its industries.
Secretary General, Mr Erastus Mwencha, says if accusations made by Kenyan industries are true, his office would take stern measures.
"We will act on the evidence brought," he said. "The issue of Egypt and the subsidy in today’s global talk are the core issues which need to be talked about. Comesa will take action against any member state found to be going against laid down rules. Under the World Trade Organisation, Kenya is at liberty to institute legal action in the event that there is proper evidence on the subsidies," he said.
He was responding to allegations by a director of Synresins Limited, Mr David Hutchison that Egypt was giving subsidies to a tune of $6 million a year to the energy sector to keep down costs of doing business.
Hutchison called upon the Comesa secretariat to put a tax on goods originating from Egypt.
"This issue of Egypt must be tackled by the Kenyan Government. The effect is gradually being felt by all industries in Kenya," he said.
"We have evidence to show that the Egyptian Government is subsidizing its energy and fuel sector by a factor of seven. Whilst kerosene is Sh55 per a litre in Nairobi, it is only the equivalent of Sh7 in Egypt."
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Healthcare (or lack thereof) in Kenya!
» Rants, Raves & Reviews A regular mwananchi dies due to the lack of basic drugs.
MPs & ministers in Kenya go abroad (& I am not talking of India) for taxpayer-funded treatment!
Nyachae in London for check-upBy Beauttah Omanga
Cabinet minister Mr Simeon Nyachae has flown to London for medical check-up.
A family member said the Roads minister left at the weekend, accompanied by close family members, for a routine check-up for injuries he sustained three years ago while exercising at his Nairobi home. When reached for comments by The Standard, the minister’s personal assistant, Mr Charles Birundu, confirmed the reports but did not divulge further information.
Nyachae was early this year quoted as saying that his doctors would determine his life in active politics. "I will go back to London in September for a final health checkup.
On whether I will be seeking to defend my Nyaribari Chache seat this year, depends on my doctors’ advice," he told a rally in Kisii last month.
One of the leading politicians in Nyanza Province, Nyachae is touted as a key player in President’s Kibaki re-election bid.
Already, there is anxiety among his supporters over his medical status.
"It is our prayer that Mzee is given a clean bill of health," said Kitutu Chache MP, Mr Jimmy Angwenyi.
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So how much moi and his cronies steal?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews We may never know the answer to the above question since there have been no serious attempts to find out the extent of corruption in & by the moi government.
The kibaki government has not made any serious efforts to find out the extent of the rot. John Githongo put it aptly when he gave the example of finding a skunk & keeping it!
Edward Clay was right. Many well-meaning Kenyans were upset at his words but they were either true or prophetic.
Here are a few links:
Guardian Newspaper
KCIG Blog
Wikileaks
Mars Group -
NSE is unfair to Francis Thuo customers!
» Rants, Raves & Reviews My primary source of information is from the Business Daily. I will revise the blog entry as as I receive more information. My comments are in RED.Cash payment to Francis Thuo investors explained Written by Geoffery Irungu 
Photo by: Frederick Onyango The Nairobi Stock Exchange blamed logistical issues for decisions to compensate investors of the collapsed Francis Thuo brokerage firm in cash rather than the equivalent value in shares.
30-August-2007: The Nairobi Stock Exchange yesterday blamed logistic difficulties for its decisions to compensate investors of the collapsed Francis Thuo and Partners Stockbrokers in cash rather than the equivalent value in shares.
Oh, please educate us... What were these "logistic difficulties"?
During a meeting with majority investors whose business was transacted through the collapsed firm, the NSE was put on the spot over how it picked on a day when the market was generally down as the value date for the compensation.
The meeting, which took place on Tuesday, saw the NSE admit that fraud was apparent in some cases where shares were sold by the firm without valid orders from investors.
If there was fraud why have no arrests or prosecutions taken place?
Why are the crooks being protected?
Who is shielding these crooks?
The criteria used to pay investors in cash at face value — with no interest or regard to the losses made during the seven months that the firm has been in business — had raised eyebrows soon after NSE announced August 17 as the value date.
The value date, if any, should be the date Francis Thuo & Partners shut down.
Mr Chris Mwebesa, the NSE Chief Executive, said the date was picked upon because that is the day when Renaissance Capital —which bought the Francis Thuo business for Sh251 million —paid their dues.
Well, since the NSE/CMA waited till it received KShs 251mn from the sale of the license then it reasons that the customers/creditors should receive a share of the EXCESS funds!!! Basically, the creditors "own" a company in bankruptcy. So the license (& monies from its disposal belong to the creditors!!!).
It was also the date the cheques were being written after the reconciliation of accounts relating to the investors through the insolvent broker.
He said 850 investors were involved and the payments were going on as scheduled from Monday and are set to be completed by this Friday.
Misunderstandings had arisen mainly because there were investors whose shares were sold by the collapsed firm without them having given sale orders.
There is no misunderstanding. I call it FRAUD. Simple as that! If I had shares held there simply because I need a CDS account does not mean I wanted to sell the shares. Replace the shares for shares!
The NSE boss said it would have been logistically difficult to start buying the shares again on behalf of the investors.
Nonsense! The NSE should give the customers/investors the option of receiving cash or shares. The NSE has a process of "buying-in" shares if not delivered by brokers. The NSE can buy these shares from the market & transfer them to the investors.
Mr Chandulal Shah, an investor at the NSE and also a consultant on investment matters, said that investors should have received shares instead of cash in cases where such shares had been ordered and paid for by the broker.
Damn straight! Mr. Shah is an experienced shareholder activist & is RIGHT!!!
Mr Shah said that those who had sold the shares of investors without their prior approval should be charged in court with fraud.
I see the hand of FT & Partners' friends in this matter!!!
Some members of the NSE are protecting one of their own including a silly suggestion that FT gets a "golden handshake" for committing fraud... WTF?
This may set a precedent where a thief caught in the act gets compensated for his "troubles" coz he was caught stealing! WTF (again)!
Although the money owed to investors was initially thought to be around Sh90 million it has since turned out that it is about Sh150 million. Mr Mwebesa said the bourse also has to compensate the investors for dividends and bonuses that had been dispatched to them through the stock broker.
Of course, investors should be compensated for bonuses & dividends!!! In fact, investors should demand interest on the cash & dividends!!!
The claims paid for included money that had been in the accounts of the investors, funds received from the sale of shares without authority and for shares sold but for which money had not been received by investors.
What about interest on the money? And at T-Bill rates!!!
Mr Mwebesa said those who had ordered for shares with the brokers but which had not been bought would receive the exact amount of cash they had given the broker.
What about interest on the money? And at T-Bill rates!!!
Controversy had arisen as to the criteria used to determine the August 17 as the date of reference when compensating investors as the stock market 20-share index had on that date lost nearly 70 points compared to the previous week, depicting a less attractive week to invest in the bourse.
Mr Mwebesa said the NSE had during the meeting asked investors to bear with them especially in view of the fact that the bourse had done everything possible to ensure that they did not lose any money.
Oh, please! What did the NSE do to protect the investors? The NSE was aware of the bounced cheques from FT & Co. The NSE knew that investors were not getting paid for shares sold!
The NSE abetted the fraud. As is the investors should have been compensated for the losses through fraud but neither the NSE nor CMA raised a finger to help them during the tough times! The NSE had the option to repay the claims of the investors through raising funds from their members but they did not!
He said that investors would ordinarily have been entitled to Sh50,000 maximum if the money had to be drawn from NSE’s Investor Compensation Fund. “The payments to investors are expected to maintain confidence in the stock market,” he said.
So the NSE is saying that to protect oneself against FRAUD, an investor should have no more than 50,000/- in a broker's account?
How can I have confidence in such a scenario?
I have a good mind to recommend ALL investors should hold certificates!!!
The SIPC in the USA insures investors for a minimum of $500,000 (KShs 33,000,000).
Finally... where is the CMA in all this???? -
Safaricom - 10% (not 5%) was stolen!
» Rants, Raves & Reviews
Mobitelea, a subsidiary of Thieves, Inc
The crescendo over the, mobitelea stolen indirect 5% ownership in Safaricom, is rising. What many commentators are missing is that it was 10% (not 5%) that was stolen from every Kenyan Man, Woman & Child.
mobitelea - often referred to as moi biwott telecoms of east africa - had stolen 10% but sold 5% in 2002 to its partners in bribery, vodafone, when moi's proxy was going to lose the elections.
The way I figure it out is that Vodafone bought 40% of Safaricom from GOK but had to cough up 10% to mobitelea as "grease" money. A pity but vivendi had to cut a deal with naushad merali (the ty"con") for the 2nd license.
Suggested remedy for the Public & Vodafone?
Well, vodafone should return the 5% to the GOK (to be sold as part of the IPO) for what they paid & a "fair" return. I can't blame them for buying what seemed a bargain. As part of coming clean, they should sell the 5% back to GOK at a discounted price to current market value.
The monies paid by Vodafone to mobitelea should be recovered from mobitelea by the GOK & vodafone.
Thhe 5% that originally "belonged" to mobitelea but then sold by mobitelea to Vodafone.
What of the 5% that still "belongs" to mobitelea?
daniel moi & biwott will support kibaki in the 2007 elections as long as this thievery is kept under wraps!
We need to go after these crooks & retrieve the stolen 5%. As well as any dividends made to them! The 5% are stolen goods!
FOLLOW THE MONEY... -
Why JKIA needs a 2nd runway...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews Sigh... I feel sorry for KQ among other airlines that suffer do to the stupidity reigning at JKIA...
Apparently, the JKIA management (what qualifications does muhohohoho have to be running the KAA???) believes one runway is enough... whereas for safety & efficiency there need to be be at least 2 runways!!!
Another plane burst its tires on the runway... I would like to know the cause (debris on the runway?)... and the airport was shut down. Again!!!
The other day the airport was closed down for 2 days since there were no landing lights!!!
A 2nd runway would allow flights to land & leave even if one runway is damaged or closed for maintenance or due to a crash/accident.
JKIA was built to handle 2mn passengers but handles over 4.4mn passengers. With the rapid growth of KQ & increased local airlines/flights as well as additional international airlines flying into nairobi, there is a need for increased capacity for the aircraft. -
Injustice in Kenya... Truth is stranger than fiction
» Rants, Raves & Reviews I have linked to www.vituvingisana.blogspot.com for this article... sad... real sad...
Is this what our country is coming to?
What was the point of "independence"? -
Where is the (Kenyan) Guy Fawkes?
» Rants, Raves & Reviews So the MPs who earn 120 times Kenya's Per Capita Income... want more money! I can't say I am surprised... just disappointed...
So the KRA taxes the poor mwanachi who makes 80,000/-... these bastards (the MPs) wants an additional 6.3 million !
Perhaps we will be saved by a Kenyan Guy Fawkes who will blow up the current parliamentarians... (Sorry about the violent thoughts but the recent proposal goes against the rules of justice & is immoral)
Perhaps, I should stop my whining & try to join the gravy train! So good people... please vote :
COLDTUSKER for MP (constituency to be decided later) -
Can you smell a rat? (Kenya Re OFS)
» Rants, Raves & Reviews It is a foregone conclusion (unless something drastic happens) that the KenRe OFS (not IPO folks... even if the Business Daily calls it that but Business Journalism in Kenya is a whole new animal...) will be successful...
Nevertheless, the deception by the GOK is not a good sign of things to come... The GOK knew that Mumias 1H 2006-7 was relatively poor but they hid that crucial information until AFTER the OFS was over. The share price plunged to around 25/- in the aftermath.
So there is a forensic report that is being "hidden" from the public... WHY?
Kimunya claims that a copy was given to the Transaction Advisers but we are buying the shares. Shouldn't we know about the shenanigans?
From the Business Daily 19 July 2007: Mr Kimunya, however, maintained that the report had been given to all transaction advisors who had used its insights to structure the deal. “I am assured that necessary accounting provisions and adjustments have been made in the Reporting Accountants’ Report,” said the minister.
Why haven't the criminal suits against the crooks (ex-CEO & CFO) been fast-tracked since this is important to the confidence in the firm?
My advice is to wait till the last moment before purchasing shares in the OFS.- In case a major earthquake hits Nairobi where most of Kenya Re's assets are located i.e. buildings.
- In case some other lawsuit/evidence surfaces regarding corruption at Kenya Re.
- Try and gauge the level of interest thus applying for enough shares without locking up too much monies in the OFS since I expect a heavy refund.
-
21:51
Vanity all vanity
» KenyanMusings This is a vanity post. If you came here looking for insights……go somewhere else. Not here.
Me and my Chap! OVER. Finished. Finito.
So anyway, I came home from a trip…….I have been up and about, losing stuff, travelling, then my sister was ill for a while in hospital and her hubby was away so I moved into hers to be around my nephew whose idea of dinner is cereal, sprite and playstation. Special.
Straight on to the vanity then.
Anyway, I came back from a trip and the chap picks me up and we went straight to the club where his friend was having a party.
34 years old….bleuurghhh, fossils all of you. Fekking pensioners, check into an old people’s home.
Anyway, my feet really swell when I travel, so I am always in sandals. (ughhh, pan to the head, why now)? And I was in slacks. Ughness. You will know in a minute why I mention this.I hasten to add, that my hair was bogus. Bogus. That’s all you need to know.
So, we get to the club, halafu, midway, this mama shows up. No names, but she is a famous Kenyan, hot like whuot and all that…smh, I only see her in the papers. So, ala! She is hugging my chap and going “ uhhhh, its great to see you, how have you been….you look good bla”. The usual you know.A little later the chap introduced me to her like “This is my girlfriend KM’ Tihi. She was nice you know, but in retrospect I remember the look she gave me. Like a “now you which garden did they dig you from and which cat dragged you in here?”
My god! Physically, the woman be flawless!! Makeup and weave in place, nails, skin, hair…halafu she had time to go dress up so I mean, she beat me to all vanities like heels and nice clothes and bag. Which sucks! I overhauled my wardrobe only a month ago, so I have cool things to wear dammit!
I shoulda gone home and powdered my stupid nose angalau!!!
Anyway, around ish Friday, I remembered and asked the chap “Oh, BTW, how do you know (hot mama herein known as heffer)”.
Soooo,, very nonchalantly, chap goes eti…erm, “we had a thing like 4 years ago”. Whuoooooooot? Auuuuiiii, a certain pain seared through my body and I felt my self combust.Whaaaat? A thing? WTF is a thing!?
Look, I know stuff about my chap that erm, I have had strangers walk to me and tell me. "Oh, that chap in a bad boy!".....then, "that chap is pussy whipped". How special. What can I say, Erm, rest assured I will not be asking you to dry my tears when he breaks my *whimper* fragile little heart. I have dated bad boys all my life. Why stop now? There is the thrill of 'breaking' them and of course, if they screw you over before you do *drat! don't you hate it when that happens!*, then tough luck, kwani what are the girls for?So me, aiii, ninyamaze nife….I started prying. “why did you break up?” “who dumped who?” LOL, you have to forgive me, at the mention of ‘thing’, I left my pride at the door.
So, the chap looks at me like he so knows he just opened a pandoras box.
Tihii no lies, but in my head, images those fekking red carpet and how beautiful people attract each other to propagate beautiful offspring and ensure continuity…killing me. Chap goes eti…..mwehehe “we were not clicking”. Let me ask...is that what they train you in 'how to effin trick your woman school?'
I throw him a that does not qualify as an answer look, so, Smh, I never said he is not smooth, he pulls me to his lap and goes eti ‘It was not even a relationship. We hang out for about 2 months” Ermmm, 2 months, Good ‘un. Feeble consolation there!? As in like that is a short time? What U be smoking chap?
Haiya, so me, I pried…and pried, and the chap was giving me politically correct answers Lol, like “we could not connect intellectually”, the chemistry was off” Rubbish! Rubbish!
So, I decided, ah, wtf, KM, go on, ask. So I asked *yes, I know, Hangs head in absolute shame* If erm, he told her he loves her or they had nicknames for each other. Weeeeeeaaaaaakkk!! I know!Mwehehehehe, because he is special like that, he said eti “KM it was 2 bloody months! I don’t even know her middle name”. LoL. Dead horse. Sasa now what does a midlle name have to do with it?
Oh Lwad! I tortured myself you know? I bet he used to wear his thick black sweater..luuuuush, and she her perfect clothes, and they would walk holding hands and kissing kissing, and and *sniff*, I bet he would put his arms around her and go “ this is my girlfriend” , then they would make each other laugh in their perfect little world, and she knew which deo he uses and his favorite food*dies* Halafu, I bet her pancakes were ready in the middle and he did not have to come help her mix the batter. *scratches head, takes a swig of muratina*. I wonder if he would suck her toes and and touch her oh-so-perfect face kila saa. Ugh!
You know how you meet people your chap dated and you look and go “feh! She has nuthin on me that”. I bet that’s what the heffer thought. OF ME.
Anyway, so I was retrospecting on things, like when I tell the chap he looks good and he pinches my cheek and goes “you are not too bad yourself pumpkin”…..I know why. Not too bad. That’s what I am. Not too bad. Like I have seen better kind of 'not bad'
Or, when he says “hi beautiful”, in his head it goes, ‘hi beautiful………..NOOOT” Think Borat. Vagine hanging like sleeve of a wizard. Lol, specialness that Borat.Or “KM you are 1 million women rolled into one” Rubbbish! All of it Rubbish!!
In short, really, my self confidence has shot to absolute shiet.
I know, I know, I mean, I have so much more going for me….NOOOT, but for once I’m like how now?Tyra Banks to Lucy Kibaki, LOL, how now? Kwani you have a deathwish?
So anyway, a while later I got ejected from his lap and he went like “Si even you you dated the chap who used to (insert shit-pales-in-comparison-activity like being the behind the scenes intern in Dunia wiki Hii). Weaaaaak! and yes, yes, I know the people at Dunia wiki Hii are human...just saying.
“I can’t believe you are actually reacting to something that happened almost half a decade ago” I was 29, what did I know about women?” Good ‘un. I’ll tell you what you knew….did it have to be her!!! HER!!!!?So, I called my friend and told her you know, that stuff, and she laughed like this loud looooong laugh and went “ngai Kamum! What’s he doing with you?”
Great. Just effin great!!I also ranted and raved to others until I got a “I have met her. She’s a tad ovverated”. Lol, A tad. There's another good 'un.
Bless.Contary to what this post will have you thinking, I’m not one to be bothered by looks, *sniggers* I would not say I look like an absolute shoe you know, but put me next to the heffer and intense, very intense surgery is my only way out. Plus, dare I mention the limb elongation vile I’m like 3 inches tall. Fekking midget.
Anyway, after thinking about it, Saturday Night when my baby left for a trip, I filed for a breakup…via text.
I hear its bad manners but argh, who will explain again now. Then I switched off my phone and got a “Quit playing KM” voice mail.I know, I am overreacting but *shrugs*, mwehehe, we all have skeletons in our closet…tihiii, my chap has heffer.
Halafu do you think it helps that my face has freckles from zits I irritated like last year, ok, week, year, who the fuck’s counting!!!. Mwehe, disaster is what.
I refuse to date a chap who dated that woman. Vain? Kwani is this that village thing where eti the chap marries the fuglee cos she has a nice heart? Rubbish! Halafu that being with somenone because they have a great personality is bull right now since some chap I used to see erm, attacked my personality. He had the nerve to accuse me of **rolls eyes** “you played me and you were very good at it” There’s another one full of rubbish! Whuot? Wow! For a minute there I had forgotten the pain I felt when he twisted the serrated knife he had firmly lodged in my back. Ngutness me!
His nerve leaves me stupefied to date. What can I say? Its like those pickpockets who steal your bag, theeen start screaming thief. AT YOU. Before you know it, you are a tyre rim and you are being doused in paraffin for your final destination. Special.So Smh, si now I have taken the walking papers. I thought I found perfection until I discovered what it dated! Wacha tu! Sniff. I will;
-Enroll to extreme makeover
-Practise posing for the camera…Lol, weaaaaak!!!
-Up heels to 7 oinches or see about limb elongation
- Get weave/wig *dies* Auuuuuiii, me in a weave. Nice. The damn guy cannot even stand weaves, well, he went livid when I took out my locs ala!…wtf! Well, that’s what they all say until the weave comes on Tyra or Shakira or Beyonce or (insert preference)!!!
So today erm, I * hides face* I googled her. Yes, I did. Then I started googling her with variations including my chap, you know like “heffer chap relationship” or “heffer chap in love” and in an insane moment "heffer broke up chap" Nuthin!!
Pathetic innit? I know. Here I cannot be helped. Go on, save yourselves. Let me stew in this misery.
Shame, I so dig him. Shame, I he does me too.
-
Updates on the Service Industry...
» Rants, Raves & Reviews The "medical spa" industry in Kenya can get a huge boost by marketing Kenya as a "haven"... We can & need to move up the food chain from primarily "wildlife" tourism to more...
Why doesn't Kenya Airways (or some other airline) target Japan as a source for high-spending tourists! In spite of recent weaknesses in Japan's economy, the Japanese remain avid high-spending travelers! If this route is considered "unprofitable" the Kenya government should try to provide "benefits" for this sector. I do not support subsidies but surely how about a discount on landing fees, fuel tax breaks & offering Japanese language courses in Kenyan universities?
Back to reality... All we have on our front pages is violence at the Coastal areas... violence in the Mt. Elgon area! Tourists from some countries e.g. Japan tend to prefer "safe" locations. Though these clashes do not affect most touristy areas, the "exposure" can be scary!
If we do not clamp down hard on insecurity & land rights... we can't project an image of safety for tourism. Violence can happen anywhere, anytime e.g. the Virginia Tech shooting but violence should not be a constant as seems the case in Kenya!
There have been killings & arson aplenty in the Banana Hill area...
While all this is going on, the Kenya Police spend valuable resources questioning The Standard about some story on the artur brothers while Kenyans are murdered in cold blood...
Sigh...
On a lighter note... I am surprised that Kenya doesn't have a condom factory... esp with Kenyans professing to be (very) sexually active... or that's what one would think listening to the guys at any drinking joint in Kenya... I wonder what flavours... My favourite is Passion... yes, pun intended...
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