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• March 09, 2010
• 2:16

  Joining The Relay Team

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Each day we are called upon to join the relay team and often we reach out for our crutch and watch as the team sprints down the tracks. And as they disappear around the corner, we throw aside the crutch and continue doing whatever it is that had been interrupted. But as we busy ourselves with something we do not even enjoy doing any more, we feel a little guilty and a bit bad for the choice we had just made and we promise to join the team the next time we are called.

  Soon enough, we are given another opportunity to join the relay team and just like the previous time, we hastily reach for the crutch and put on a wounded look on our face.

  But for how long can we allow ourselves to let opportunities pass us by, knowing that we are bursting with potential? How long can we continue reaching for the crutch knowing fully well that not only are we whole, we are even capable of winning for the relay team? How many times can we bear to hear the cheers for the winning team knowing that we could easily be in that team if we just refused to reach for the crutch for once?

  When we look at the crutch – a career, a job, a relationship, a level of education, an addiction, an attitude, a tainted memory, or a weakness of any sort – can we stop blaming our circumstances and accept our responsibility: That it is time for us to let go!

  Let us join the relay team.

• March 07, 2010
• 10:25

  The Right Key

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  There is a man in town who is known to his close friends as Mr. Keys. When I was introduced to him by one of my friends, I sought to find out why they called him by that name. And my friend told me the story of Mr. Keys.

  Mr. Keys is a wealthy sophisticated gentleman in his 50 now. My friend told me that Mr. Keys has very little formal education and when he first came to Nairobi from upcountry, he leant the trade of key cutting from one of his friends. That is the trade that sustained his existence in the big city for many years. Looking at the man and the clout that he commands within his circle of equally wealthy friends, it is impossible to imagine that such a polished guy could one day have sat on the streets with a tiny booth similar to the ones that the downtown key cutters occupy in Nairobi, hoping that a passerby might have the need for a duplicate key. I was curious about how his fortunes changed and when I asked my friend, he looked at me and said mysteriously, “One day, Mr. Keys made a key that enabled him to open the magic box into riches.”

  Well, that is all that my friend said, and I had to walk away with that explanation. Taken literally, Mr. Keys’ is a story as fabulous as that of magic beans or a goose that lays a golden egg or finding a genie in an old lamp. It is the kind of story that we liked to indulge in and that fueled our young imagination as children, the kind that we call a miracle as adults. It is also the type that many people are ever in pursuit of – even though few will admit it. Anyway, may your goose lay golden eggs, may you find magic beans, and may you craft a key that opens the vault to fabulous riches! And may your story have a happy ending!

• 3:15

  The Seasons Of Honey

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  The Japanese monkey, Macaca Fuscata, had been observed in the wild for a period of over 30 years.

  In 1952, on the island of Koshima, scientists were providing monkeys with sweet potatoes dropped in the sand. The monkey liked the taste of the raw sweet potatoes, but they found the dirt unpleasant.

  An 18-month-old female named Imo found she could solve the problem by washing the potatoes in a nearby stream. She taught this trick to her mother. Her playmates also learned this new way and they taught their mothers too.

  This cultural innovation was gradually picked up by various monkeys before the eyes of the scientists. Between 1952 and 1958 all the young monkeys learned to wash the sandy sweet potatoes to make them more palatable. Only the adults who imitated their children learned this social improvement. Other adults kept eating the dirty sweet potatoes.

  Then something startling took place. In the autumn of 1958, a certain number of Koshima monkeys were washing sweet potatoes — the exact number is not known. Let us suppose that when the sun rose one morning there were 99 monkeys on Koshima Island who had learned to wash their sweet potatoes. Let’s further suppose that later that morning, the hundredth monkey learned to wash potatoes.

  THEN IT HAPPENED!

  By that evening almost everyone in the tribe was washing sweet potatoes before eating them. The added energy of this hundredth monkey somehow created an ideological breakthrough!

  But notice: A most surprising thing observed by these scientists was that the habit of washing sweet potatoes then jumped over the sea…Colonies of monkeys on other islands and the mainland troop of monkeys at Takasakiyama began washing their sweet potatoes.

  Thus, when a certain critical number achieves an awareness, this new awareness may be communicated from mind to mind.

  Although the exact number may vary, this Hundredth Monkey Phenomenon means that when only a limited number of people know of a new way, it may remain the conscious property of these people.

  But there is a point at which if only one more person tunes-in to a new awareness, a field is strengthened so that this awareness is picked up by almost everyone!

  - From the book “The Hundredth Monkey” by Ken Keyes, Jr.

• March 05, 2010
• 3:15

  Mirage In The City

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I heard about the term “mirage” when I was still a kid from my Dad. He explained what a mirage is. He said that it is a body of water that appears in a desert at a distance. When a traveller sees that body of water, it looks so appealing that they stand mesmerized by its beauty. And in that moment, they become thirsty and think how nice it would be to take a cool drink of fresh water from the lake. And with that as their motivation, they start walking towards that body of water. However when they come closer to it, it disappears, and then immediately appears a further distance ahead. If a traveler does not recognize a mirage in the desert as an illusion, he is bound to follow its appearance until his own water runs out.

  I think back then I didn’t know what a desert was, and so I had to see it through the eyes of my father. Now many years later, I seem to understand what a mirage is, even without the benefit of going to a desert. Right here in this city, I have often set out on my journey but sometimes ends up as mesmerized as that traveler in the desert in my father’s story. I ended up diverting from my path in order to follow the vision. And I believe that I am not alone.

  Right now, the hottest thing in the Kenyan market is real estate. When one is with friends they talk about the recent venture that involved purchase of a prime piece of property. When one talks with relatives, they brazenly want to know whether you also are investing in the property market. If it is not property, it is a husband or a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a wife. Other times it is jobs and careers and MBAs and evening classes. Other times it is the nice cars that everyone else but you is driving, and so on. And that list is endless.

  So what happens? One forgets what he or she was doing, or where they were going and starts to think, “Well, if so and so has made it in online forex trading, so can I!” and off they divert from their tangent in pursuit of so and sos dream. But then they realize that the online forex trading cash cows is not as easily milked as so and so claimed, and they decide to go back to what they were doing before. But soon after, someone else points to something else and off they go into the distance to follow a mirage.

  Does that mean that we should not go after opportunities? Not at all! What I am pointing at is that whatever it is that we are doing is quite right for us, and we just need to pay attention and see it through. You see, everyone’s efforts are good enough and always materialize into something. My friend’s efforts might result in a lot of money, whereas my efforts might result in wonderful human relationships. Your friend’s efforts might result in academic honors whereas your efforts might result in well brought up kids. What I am calling an illusion is disregarding or even abandoning my relationships because I want to be like my friend, or you trivializing the role of bringing up a family because your friend graduated from the university once again.

  But you might say that these opportunities are real, and everyone else is taking them and making it big. Why not take the risk? Yes, let us go ahead and consider them. But also let us consider why we are in the path that we are in right now; how did we get here, and what has kept us here all this time? Is there something that we should see that we haven’t seen in a long time? Then we can choose wisely.

  Remember that the greatest and the most rewarding risk that one can take is betting on themselves.

• 2:06

  When An Old Newspaper Soars

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Walking along Muindi Mbingu Street in Nairobi, a gust of wind unexpectedly blows noisily around the City Market. It stirs some debris around the feet of a woman walking from Tuskys Supermarket across the street and she protectively presses the two plastic shopping bags held in each hand on her sides, to prevent the skirt from being hoisted up in the melee. Within a few moments the wind is gone and so is the look of panic on the woman’s face and she confidently disappears in the crowds of people walking on the sidewalk on a busy Nairobi weekday.

  The gust of wind can go unforgotten if it was not for the piece of old newspaper that was lifted from the ground by the initial gust. Long after the wind has died down, the piece of paper is still raising up in the air. And as I watch, the silent current of air drives it even higher and it is soon above the tallest building around, and still raising. And within a short time, it is soaring the height of the eagles that hang around the City Market mesmerized by the smell of meat coming from the butcher shops.

  I imagine that before the wind came, the piece of newspaper being trodden underfoot by the stream of strangers with no care for it must have bemoaned its predicament in life. It must have remembered bitterly just a few days ago when everyone was interested in what it said and held it fondly in their hands. And now that the news that the paper carries is no longer current, no one will even spare a moment for a small glance. Such a disgrace to be treated like old news! And so it just laid there watching as numerous copies of the newspaper with the current news were briskly swung past in the hands of their owners, it once again felt the crushing weight of doom at the unfairness of life under the shoe of yet another passerby.

  But as if to jolt it from its hopelessness, a sudden gust of wind swept by, carrying small pieces of debris and the old newspaper thought to itself, “That’s just great! Being swept with the rest of the filth in the street into a gutter is all I need.” But then unexpectedly, it felt itself being lifted above the ground, above the cars, above the people, and unbelievably, above the trees! While still absorbing the shock of what was really happening, the newspaper felt the power that was below it and realized that the power was still not done with it! Above the short buildings…above the tall buildings…above the tallest building. Wow! It was still being raised up. With eyes popped all the way and an unhinged jaw, the paper found itself soaring at the same heights as the eagles. And that is when it was obstructed by a building and I lost sight of it.

  Even as I wonder where the old newspaper ended up, I know for sure that it will never be the same again. For no matter what happens to it after today, it has seen what few papers have the privilege of ever seeing in their lives. On this day, it knows that it has soared higher than even the most colored newspaper with the hottest news can ever hope to soar. And to think that just a while ago, it felt as if it had exhausted all meaning of life!

  Well, that is what happens to an old newspaper that might think that the only thing that can make it feel worthy in life is to be held between the hands of its owner and admired. What is there beyond what we think makes our lives worth living?

• 1:18

  Getting Ready For The Much

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I was recently walking with a friend called Njeri in town when her shoe strap snapped in the middle of the street. Limping with one shoe on her foot and the other in her hand, we walked to the nearest shoe store in order to buy a replacement. Fortunately we didn’t have to walk for long since there was a Bata shop a street ahead, that we were both relieved to duck inside.

  While inside the shop being attended to, she pointed to one of the shoes on the rack and said, “That shoe made me cry so much!” It was a kid’s shoe with a low heel and black patterned leather fronted by a small belt that was held in place by a brass buckle on the side. Njeri wanted a pair of those shoes when she was a kid, and her mother insisted on buying her a less glamorous pair of shoes. Hence the tears that are to be remembered many years later.

  As we went back to walking in the street after getting a new pair of shoes, I narrated to my friend about my desire to have brown shoes when I was a kid. Back then, we knew of only 2 shoe retail shops in Kenya; Bata and Tiger. Bata shoes were cheap and easily affordable and catered for the needs of students and ordinary Kenyans with a modest shoe budget. And perhaps as a result, the shoes were black with unimaginatively dull designs. On the other hand, Tiger shoes had a variety of colors and looked very cool whether in the shop window or on the foot of a wearer. They also had an image of a Tiger printed on the insole (as opposed to the same old Bata logo), were a bit more expensive, and if you wore a pair, you were definitely ‘with it’. One of my cousins owned a pair of Tiger shoes, and I used to think that he was the happiest kid alive. Of course my Dad would never hear of Tiger shoes especially since Bata shoes were guaranteed to last for a long time, and just required a replacement of shoe laces once every few months.

  One of my buddies called Dan told me his shoe story that still makes me laugh to date. Dan came from a very poor background and in the school where he went, only a single kid had a pair of shoes. As a result, all the other kids admired this one ‘rich’ kid and did everything to be in his favour. The best that would happen when one was in Michael’s good books is that he would let you wear his shoes during the 40 minutes break time between morning lessons. Within a short time of joining the school Michael was so popular that he had a line of students waiting to wear his shoes each break time. He came up with an ingenious solution; one kid, one shoe. As a result, Dan ended up being one of the kid’s who regularly enjoyed wearing one of Michael’s shoes over break time.

  When my Dad got his first pair of shoes in his late teens, it was several sizes smaller. Coincidentally it happened on a day when he was going on a group field tour to Ngong Hills. Excited to show off his new shoes, he put them on and went to climb a mountain. You should watch his face when he tells that painful story!

  One of the reasons why we tell such stories is to remind ourselves where we are coming from. Coming from a place where something would seem so out of reach and then being in another place where that becomes something to laugh about gives hope that there are still many great things to come. Why do I say that? Because it is an assurance that all the things that I might think are beyond my reach right now, will soon be in abundance, just as the pair of shoes that anyone who has ever cried about are right now. Can you look back and see your little achievements over the years, no matter how trivial they might seem? They say, “He who does not thank for little will not thank for much”, so get ready for the much by thanking for the little.

• March 03, 2010
• 8:34

  Ball For The World

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  When it became apparent that I won’t be traveling as much as I used to several years ago, I went into a gift shop in Nairobi and bought myself a globe. I then took it home and set it up in my living room so that the tip of my finger could travel to any country in the world from the comfort of my seat. Up till a few days ago, the globe was set up on a pedestal and propped up on a semi-circular metallic bar that enabled me to rotate the miniature world around its axis – just as the real world. But then Wanderi changed all that.

  Wanderi is a 3 year old neighborhood boy that I hang out with once in a while. While I was outside watering some plants, Wanderi sneaked inside my house and I heard something crash. When I quickly went inside, I saw the pedestal from where the globe was propped on the floor separate from the circular ball still attached to the semi-circular bar that enables it to rotate. Wanderi was holding the ball with both hands and when he saw me, he excitedly said, “Ball!”

  So, I extracted the globe from his hands and told him it is “World” as I tried to fit it back on the pedestal. However, the damage was permanent and the little world would not be the same again. Wanderi repeated “Ball!” and I said, “World” and shoed him out of the house to avoid further catastrophe.

  When I looked at the globe later, the only thing that remained to be done was to unscrew the semi-circular bar and let the globe become a ball – just as Wanderi had wanted. When I look at the ball now, I realize that I can look at the world in many different ways that I hadn’t considered before. For example I can look at the map of the world upside down and when I turn it at an angle, Australia takes the shape of Africa.

  I guess it takes people like Wanderi to come into our neat orderly lives and turn one or two things around, and then we are able to see the world from a different perspective. Then an ordinary world that rotates in a single direction at fixed periods of time, can become transformed into loose and carefree ball that can become fun to play with.

• 8:33

  Being Good Regardless

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Once in a while, we watch someone on TV who is good at what they do. We watch a top business man and woman giving expert financial analysis, we watch a relationship guru giving incredible dating advice, we watch a footballer being toasted after scoring a crucial goal, we watch a top actor giving a performance that moves us to our core, we watch stories or ordinary people that suddenly became heroes overnight over some fluke of fate. When such viewing catches us in a moment of weakness, one might once again stare out into the wide horizon of life and wonder when their ship will ever come. One looks at all the years of blood, sweat and tears and wonders if all has been in vain?

  But the thing is, in such instances we look at the people who are good at what they are doing at that particular moment and judge our entire life based on that. Rooney is good at scoring goals, but what else is he good at? When Rooney is so good at scoring goals, and I have never kicked a football, does it mean that I am not good at anything? That Rooney is good at scoring goals, does it make me worse at what it is that I am good at? Up till a while ago, everyone knew that Tiger Woods is good at playing golf, period. Is it fair to judge a man’s whole existence on the fact that he can grab a stick and follow a little ball whacking it over and over again towards a hole with incredible precision?

  Despite my failures, what am I good at? Maybe I am good at making my bed, and that might never make it on TV, but it does not mean that my bed making skills any worse now that a stranger with a skill that I do not have has made it on TV. And neither is it fair to myself to judge all the other areas on my life based of a single thing that is not working right, is it?

• 8:31

  Marked For Greatness

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I was shaving my beard this morning and thinking about the very first time that I shaved. On that day, my Dad presented me with what I can only describe as a shaving apparatus. It was one of those gadgets that one had to unscrew to dismantle, fit in a razor blade, screw it back again, lather your face and shave. That kind of shave required some skills because the outcome was usually the result of how precisely you fitted the razor blade in the gadget. If not done correctly, you ended up cutting yourself on the face and neck with the depth of the injury based on how awkwardly you placed the razor blade. When I tried it the first time, it was disastrous, and I had to postpone my shaving debut despite the fact that I had looked forward to it by carefully cultivating the wisps of hair on my face.

  Fortunately, it was the only time that I used that gadget because soon after, we got introduced to the plastic disposable shaving gadgets that are now common. After some time, the same gadget was re-introduced with two razors; just in case a single hair escapes the first razor, the second will definitely get it. Again after some time, the same gadget got a third razor; this time, to give you the smoothest shave ever. As a result, shaving has become easier and I can enjoy doing it every day.

  When I look at such events, I see the things that I am struggling with now, and know that things will get better. I remember that at one point in my life, the only promise that I had that I will one day be able to wear (not even own) a watch was a tiny dark birth mark that I have on my left wrist. And that one day I will be privileged enough to wear a tie, I had a similar birth mark on my neck.

  When we were children it was easy to keep hope alive by believing that we were destined to enjoy the things that we thought were out of our reach. As an indication that we were marked for such greatness, we looked for signs on our bodies as pointers. And sure enough, I now own a watch and I have a closet that contains many neck ties. And the fact that now it does not seem like a big feat cannot make me place any less importance to what these things meant to me once.

  That the things that seem out of our reach now, will one day be within reach is for sure. But for some reason many adults seem to wait for other people to tell then what they can or cannot be, do and have. What are your dreams? Like a little child, learn to look for the indications that you are destined for this greatness and believe that it can all be yours and it will be.

• 8:30

  Characters In Our Story Of Life

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I once in a while wonder about what it is that makes a person who they are. Take the example of Wanderi a three year old boy, whose physical development seems to be a little different from that of kids his age. I tend to think that being friends with other people is perhaps one of the most important things to him. The reason is because if you become acquainted with him, he will do whatever it takes to make contact with you at every opportunity.

  Yesterday, like many other times before, he saw me tending to the potted plants outside my door. And as usual, he shouted out my name happily and abandoned whatever it is that he was doing, all the while his eyes were fixed three floors up the stairs to where I was. And then he began coming up. In order to do that, he has to hold to the side rail and hoist himself one stair, release the rail to steady himself, take a moment to feel that he is OK, take hold of the rail once again and take the next step. When he reaches the landing, he rests for a while, look up to make sure that you still haven’t given up on him, smiles as if to reassure you that he is making progress, and then goes ahead to tackle the next set of stairs. When he reaches where you are, he just has enough strength to trot eagerly with his arm open wide for you to sweep him from the floor in a huge hug and reward his efforts with a laugh or a word of encouragement.

  Once he has caught his breathe, he will start pointing out things with his fingers and naming them for you: Yesterday, he named “Patrick’s house”…pointing to the apartment where a little boy called Patrick lives. “Bulb”…pointing to an overhead florescent lamp. “Flowers”…pointing to the potted plants on the floor. “Chicken”…pointing to an eagle flying overhead. It always is more fun for him when he thinks that he is teaching you the names of these things and he will go on and on and on. After a while, his sister will call him from downstairs, and it will be time to say good bye.

  Going down the stairs is easier for him and once every few stairs, he will look up and smile at you and give a little awkward wave from his little arm. He will make a few more stairs and once again will look up and wave at you…all the way to the ground floor where his sister will be waiting to hold his hand and take him inside the house.

  And so after another interaction with Wanderi, you realize that even after being with all the characters in the story of your life, you are unsure whether the words on your script that define what makes a person as still the correct ones.

• 8:24

  Easier To Be In Than Not

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Recently, a friend pointed out that life is all about relationships. I remember that she clarified her assertion by pointing the index finger of her right hand at the cup of tea that I was holding between the palms of my hand as an example and said, “You have a relationship with your tea.”

  When I think about it now, yes, I do have a relationship with my tea. It is a relationship that has been developed over many years. Each time I make it, the tea leaves have to boil in the water for about two minutes before I add milk. Many people who have taken the tea tend to think that it is too strong. Over time, I have developed a taste for this kind of tea and if I do not take a cup, I will feel that something is missing from my day. As far as my tea is concerned, it is easier to have than not to.

  But it has not always been this way. There are days that I didn’t care whether I took tea in the morning or not. A day would go by without taking tea, and I would not notice. But I remember that these were the days when I wouldn’t be responsible for making my own breakfast. And I suppose this is the case with everyone else as well. That sometimes, they do not care much about something simply because someone else shares the responsibility for it. When we share a house with someone else, sometimes we leave things out of place simply because we know that someone else is capable of putting them back in their place. And at work, there are always arguments about who should have done what but didn’t.

  But as my friend pointed out, life is all about relationships. And I will add that relationships are all about responsibility. If a person takes responsibility for anything – anything at all – that relationship will thrive, and it will be easier to live with that thing than not. So, what about our human relationships? If I take responsibility for the relationship that I am in, it means that it will be mine to make right. And as it always turns out, over time and with responsible nurturing, even the most difficult of human relationships become easier to be in than not to.

• February 27, 2010
• 10:13

  Inevitable Trust

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  My neighbor’s son is called Wanderi. He must be four years old or so. When the other children in the neighborhood are playing, Wanderi will be quietly sitting by himself with his collection of little rocks and small pieces of paper amusing himself. With his awkward lopsided gait, it is impossible for him to keep up with the fast games that other children play and his limited vocabulary and sing song voice will not let him fit in with the rest. His unusual development makes him immature for his age. On the other hand, his sister who is one or two years older is much more mature that her tender age. Amidst the excitement of all the games, she keeps a close watch on his baby brother, making sure that no one bothers him, and that he does not put unwanted objects in his mouth. She is so protective that when I first tried being friends with Wanderi, she couldn’t let it happen. Being very trusting, Wanderi has no problem approaching a stranger who calls out to him. But before he could make the few steps that will get him to me, the sister would physically step in between me and him and firmly plant herself there with a huge smile showing a set of teeth that were still growing. Eventually, she decided to approve of me and now I am free to interact with Wanderi whenever I find the group of children at play.

  Wanderi is one friend that anyone would like to have. The warmth of his spirit makes you feel warm in your heart. When he sees you, he will immediately call out your name and unintentionally mispronounce it loudly. He will then abandon whatever he was doing and stand up as quickly as he can, stepping all over his precious little rocks and papers in the haste. He will be smiling all the way and you can see his 2 cute little front teeth as he starts to run towards you. With legs that are not strong enough to carry his rocking body, he will set out in a gait that will help him move in your direction as rapidly as he can. In the last few steps, he will throw all physics out of the window and will give his all. If you do not throw out your hands to catch him, he would tumble down and perhaps roll in the great momentum gained in just a few moments. And this moment of meeting another human being is such a thrilling event for him that he will squeal with glee.

  I have watched that little moment over and over again, and it reminds me of a big jumbo jet streaking down a runway, with its wings all spread out, just about to take off. It is inevitable that if the plane does not fly, it would disintegrate into pieces. How does it feel like to have Wanderi’s brand of trusting? How it must be to be able to trust truly and completely! To trust so much as to know that if the other person does not catch you, it is inevitable – just as the jet plane – that you would literally and completely tumble down into a thousand little pieces.

• February 16, 2010
• 3:59

  Before The Day Ends

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  When I woke up this morning, I thought about a problem that needed a solution and began wondering how I was going to figure it out. As I lay in bed for just a little while before getting up, I began thinking what I would do differently today, that I didn’t already do yesterday and the day before yesterday to solve the problem. And that is when a different thought came and I suddenly wondered how many times my heart was going to beat today. Immediately after, another thought wondered how many times my lungs would expand and contract in breathing before the day is over. And as if I had opened a dam of wonderment, I found myself wondering about the various functions that my stomach, liver, pancreas, kidneys, brain and many other organs that I might not even be aware of will be performing. As I once again wondered about how I would go about solving the problem, I also wondered who or what would be taking care of all the problems that are solved by the functions that my organs perform each day. Can I ask for assistance from that power in finding a solution to my problem today?

• 3:42

  Streams And Us

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Thinking back to the conversations that I have had in the last few days with a friend, it seems like life hasn’t turned out exactly as either one of us expected. But as I think about it I am reminded of all the streams that drain their waters into the ocean each day. As each stream flows closer to the ocean it is filled with great expectations. This stream says excitedly to itself, “my water is very clear and so I will clean up the whole ocean!”, only to find that the ocean water is cloudy from violent waves and it becomes contaminated. Another stream haughtily says to itself, “my water is fresh and I will take freshness wherever I go”, and it gets into the ocean and its water immediately turns salty. Another one has known filth all its life and dejectedly believes that it will contaminate the whole ocean, until its water is sanitized and it knows cleanliness for the first time. And yet another has painfully tumbled down hills and gorges and has never known peace until it encounters the gentle lull of the ocean.

  Each person that goes out into the sea of life has different expectations until he or she encounters the world of people and mixes up with them, sometimes with highly unexpected results. So, do we cry for the purity that used to be? For the innocence that was lost? Or do we curse the callous that was developed? Just as the stream should embrace the new reality of a fathomless sea with diverse waters from a million streams, so should we embrace the strange world that we sometimes find ourselves in.

• February 15, 2010
• 3:58

  The Slumberland Investment

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  A few years ago, I noticed that I had a bad back. Each time I stood up after bending for a few minutes, my back would unbend with a dull pain that made me want to bend back to the position that I was earlier. The pain would persist for a few minutes and would eventually die down until the next time that I bent. And so I learnt how to do my chores while standing upright. If I wanted to wash clothes, I would elevate the basin so that I wouldn’t have to bend. If I wanted to iron clothes, I would do it on the dinner table top to avoid having to bend. I also ensured that those chores didn’t last long to avoid the discomfort.

  Despite my precautions, it got worse when I noticed that each morning, I would get the same dull pain on my back as soon as I got out of bed. But then I attributed all that to my bad back, and so I started doing exercises that would help strengthen the back. I also thought that I should acquire a massager in order to ease the tension in my back.

  At about the same time, one of my friends used my bad and complained that my mattress was very uncomfortable. At first, I was defensive since it was a beautiful ‘high density’ 6 inch thick foam mattress that I had acquired a while back. But now that the seed of curiosity had been planted, I started paying attention to my mattress. I noticed that I liked sleeping on one side of the bed, and as a result had created a small impression where I dipped into each night. When I slept on the other side of the bed, I noticed that it felt strange, but I woke up the following morning without a back ache. And as if by coincidence, I went to see another friend who was attending physio-therapy at a centre that focused on treatment through correct flow of energy throughout the body. On that day, one of the facilitators was talking about the benefits of having a healthy backbone. He explained that apart from propping us up when we are standing, the backbone also acts as a centre for processing all the information collected by the nerves that are spread all over the body. He concluded that any blockage of energy in the backbone results in pain and illness in the body. In the long run, sleeping on a bad mattress or a bad bed for years will cause back problems in many people. However, since it often becomes a life disrupting problem later in life, most people attribute their woes to old age. Incidentally, the room was filled with old people with all sorts of physical ailments in addition to an aching back.

  Armed with that information, I went to Nakumatt Supermarket to buy myself a new mattress. After consulting with the helpful attendant, I ended up buying a spring reinforced Slumberland “orthopedic” mattress. It came with a user guide with the dos and don’ts of a mattress and a five year manufacturer’s warranty. For example, did you know that you should regularly flip your mattress side to side and head to toe? This is similar to fluffing a pillow and prevents creating depressions in the mattress. Did you also know that on an ordinary night, your body loses moisture that is absorbed into the mattress? It is therefore important to air your mattress by turning back the covers each day to allow the moisture to escape. This is especially important on hot nights or when you have an illness that makes you sweat.

  At KShs. 20,000, this was one of the most expensive mattresses at the shop. But exactly one year later, I am happy to say that this was the best investment of my money for the year 2009. My morning back pain is gone, and I can comfortably bend for as low and as long as it takes to finish any task. Plus I learnt a few things that I didn’t know about how to make the best use of my mattress from the Slumberland mattress user’s manual.

• February 12, 2010
• 3:58

  Adventure At Sea

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  My friend is going for a camping trip at a beach in Malaysia. And as I think about that, I remember something that she told me that changed my perspective about the sea. She talked about standing at the beach and looking out into the open to see the meeting of the sea, the land and the sky. I was so taken back by that, that it made every trip to the beach worthwhile. Standing there observing the meeting of the 3 elements. That is a very powerful feeling.

  Her camping trip reminds me of each morning that we leave the house. I would imagine it is like taking a dive under the sea. What do we see? I am sure when you make your dive, you will be thrilled to see the crabs and the sea weeds. And at other times you might dive on a coral garden and observe the beautiful pinks and the bright colors of the rocks. You might also see the schools of fish and other interesting inhabitants of the ocean. If feeling adventurous, you might even go for a treasure hunt in a sunken pirate ship.

  But there is also the possibility of a person just staying close to the beach and playing it safe at the shallow end. Maybe when one is way past their prime and taking stock of their life, they might realize that they are still flapping their arms at the shallow end – where they started off when they were children.

  So each day that you leave the house, ask yourself where you are going to play today. Will you play where you played yesterday, and last week, or the 12th of February 10 years ago? Or will you dare to go just a little bit deeper and see something that you have never seen before?

• 3:35

  Body, Mind and Spirit

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Each time I see a group of old friends and participate in conversations, I always go home with something to think about. For example after last night’s discussion about health, I was to later reflect on something that I once read.

  It talked about the 3 dimensions of life that give us balance. These are
  Physical, mental and spiritual. If any one of those areas is lacking, we feel out of control. This is despite how much stronger we are in other areas. For example, it does not matter how strong and intellectual you are; you will feel the lack of the spiritual aspect of your life. On the other hand, a spiritually rich person who has a weak body will feel lacking.

  It is important to make regular contribution in the 3 areas. And as you should often remind yourself, it is similar to making a saving in a bank account. And though it might seem as if one is living thrift, the rewards are already there if they look carefully.

  What about money? Yes, money is important. But only as an ‘aesthetic’. Meaning that money serves the purpose of coloring our lives with fine things, and we all like that. But as you go about the business of making money, remember that a healthy body appreciates walking more than a sick body appreciates being driven in a convoy of limousines.

  So appreciate all the vigorous things that your healthy body can do for you. Marvel at all the worlds that reading can open up for you to see. Be humbled by the wholeness that communing with God can restore in your Spirit.

  More power to you in body, mind and spirit!

• 3:07

  Life Outside Beetle Land

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I am sitting on a table in the middle of the living room, the palms of my hands wrapped around a warm cup of tea that I have been sipping slowly for about 20 minutes. Outside the window with the curtains drawn all the way, it is a bright sunny day that promises to get hot. From the direction of the main gate leading into the walled compound where I live, a group of neighborhood children are making unexcited noises as they wait for the bus to collect them and take them to school. And as I look blankly through the window, I see a beetle laboriously walking up the edge of one of the flowered curtain partitions that dutifully hangs down the brown wooden curtain box. My eyes follow the beetle as it reaches the top of the curtain and starts walking across. Soon it disappears behind one of the folds and I take the last sip of the lukewarm tea as I stand up to start off my day.

  I find myself wondering about the beetle, and I remember one morning I found a slug trailing slowly across the green metal barrier at my balcony. Since I live 3 floors up, I wondered just how much effort it might have taken the slug to move from the ground to this level many metres up. And so I wonder the same for the beetle. When did it come from and where is it going?

  When I think about it, the beetle must have a mother and a father and probably brothers and sisters that it left behind. Perhaps back at its home in Beetle Land, it was surrounded by other beetles, just like it. I would imagine that the beetle lived in a community where every good beetle does something to enrich its life while simultaneously contributing towards the welfare of all beetles. For example, some beetles sourced for food all day while others took care of the youngsters. Some beetles taught other beetles and others fought for the rights of disadvantaged beetles. Then there was the wealthy beetle that had marked off a big portion of Beetle Land that no other beetle was allowed to access. That beetle would walk around and all other beetles would pretend to like him. On the day the beetle dies, other beetles will congregate and say how much they liked him before hurriedly sweeping him under the carpet and dividing his land amongst themselves. Surprisingly, the new owners of the land would mark off their territories and bar other beetles from accessing it. They then would walk around like the beetle they used to hate, and other beetles would pretend to like them.

  In Beetle Land, every beetle tries to distinguish itself from other beetles by making itself more beautiful, talking smarter, puffing up its body, chirping louder, and generally doing anything to outdo all the other beetles. Each day, every sphere of life at Beetle Land was filled with competition for who is more or has more. And as a result, for many generations the beetles have been doing the same things over and over again. Nothing ever changed because life was all about outdoing what the other beetle has already done. While talking to each other, each beetle looked happy and excited, but they all had a sense of sadness that resulted in a lack of real purpose in life. Only few of them seem to know why they were here in the first place.

  It was in this sense of despair that the beetle woke up one day and decided to change the course of his life. And so early that morning, he took off on a path that didn’t lead to anywhere he has ever been. The beetle knew of no other beetle that had walked this way and also understood that he would have to walk this path alone. However, any path that didn’t lead to the mundane daily existence of Beetle Land was welcome. And so he ended up having a purpose to move along in the path that he had taken. He knew the dangers of branching away from the beaten path, and so was grateful for every breathe that he took. But I guess most of all, he was glad that he was free from the daily competition at Beetle land whose bounty was vanity and price in vain. And that is perhaps how he ended up on my curtain this morning.

  Back in Beetle Land, they probable remember him and shake their heads in sadness and say how lost he is. While out there in the world of curtains, he probably remembers them and shakes his head in sadness and says how lost they are.

• February 10, 2010
• 1:51

  Business Decisions

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I am sure you know that feeling that comes when you are trying to get business and the person that is giving you the business becomes elusive. Sometimes you call and they pick up your phone and promise to call you back and they don’t. Other times you call and they do not pick up at all. When you come face to face with them, they tell you a story that makes you vindicate them after they promise that all will be well, only for you to call them the following day and they do not pick up your phone.
  In such cases, you are annoyed and usually promise yourself that it will be the last call that you will make. After all, you tell yourself, just how much money is the deal worth? Unfortunately, it always is at the time when you need that money and so you find yourself making the call to the same person once again.

  When you know that you are working with a person who does not have a lot of respect for you or the services that you are offering, what do you do? In most cases, we get annoyed at the person, but keep setting ourselves up for disrespect. But what else is there to do? This might be a perfect opportunity for us to examine the situation and once again ask ourselves, “What kind of a business person am I?” Well, you know the kind of a person you are doing business with, but can you take responsibility and choose to get out of such relationships? Of course the sacrifice will be the business that you will miss out. But given that you are going to be in business for many years to come, wouldn’t it be time to start weeding out the undesirable business practices before they taint your outlook?

• February 09, 2010
• 6:59

  Who Was Mundi Mbingu?

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Did you know that Muindi Mbingu (for whom Muindi Mbingu Street in Nairobi is named) was a Kamba policeman who led the Akamba in resisting British colonialism in pre-independent Kenya? Read on…

  Samuel Muindi Mbingu was born in 1893 and schooled up to form four at Kabete Technical. After form four he joined the Kenya Power and later the police. During this time the colonial government had taken most of the Kamba land and the Kamba community, which was mainly pastoralism, send to reserved areas.

  In 1937 the DC with instruction from the governor took cattle from the “Nungu’s” meaning “monkeys/primitive blacks referring to the local natives. The government believed that the wealth of cattle made the kambas disobedient thus the wealth is taken so as to gain control over them. Besides taking the cattle the locals were also forced to make terraces in their shambas. This treatment provoked the vocal of fearless Muindi Mbingu to leave the police and mobilize others like Elijah Kavulu and Isaac Mwalonzi to fight for the rights of their people. Due to his fearless character, he commanded a lot of respect and obedience from people particularly from Ngelani and Kangundo regions and elected the chairman of the committee to address the people’s problems. In 1938, all the cattle in Kamba, Ngelani, Koma-rock region leaving the locals without any cattle. It was at this point that Muindi Mbingu mobilized all the people where they agreed not to let their cattle go and not to make terraces in the shambas. This agreement was summarized in a slogan “No Kikuu” meaning “as previously agreed”. From then they all refused the DC’s meeting and whenever they attended they would leave. Incase of a disagreement saying “No Kikuu”. With no solution to the problems of the local’s. Muindi Mbingu led

  All the people of Ngelani, the old and the young, men and women in the biggest demonstration to Nairobi. More than 80 km so as to meet the government or himself. They went to “Kariokor”. Then courier corps” where they stayed for one month all this time seeking to see the governor but being barred. All this time Muindi Mbingu organized how food for the people would be transported from Ngelani to Nairobi. At the end of the month the governor’s wife passed by and saw women suckling their young ones in the cold and this touched her so much and an act she wanted addressed by the governor and hence Muindu Mbingu and his committee went to the governor. Where they agreed to release the cattle to the owners.

  During the courier corps meeting, when asked what he wanted done to his people he responded in the local Kamba language – “twenda kwikala ta maau mau maitu, twithye ngombe to Mau mau maitu, nunmdu nthi ino ni ya maau mau maitu. (We want to live like our grandfathers, keep cattle like our grandfathers, for the land we live on is our grandfathers). The colonialist later accused him of being the founder of “Mau Mau uprising “- the Mau Mau is accredited to this brave nationalist.

  From this time (1938) the colonial government accused Muindi Mbingu of leading a revolt called Mau Mau. It was against this background that he was arrested and detained for seven years in the Coastal Islands of Lamu.

  After release, he was com-promised by then D.C and collaborator with the colonial government, a move, which annoyed the people, he had previously led fighting against the abuse of their rights. This led to his brutal murder in 1953; his death marked the climax of Mau Mau revolution with others like former President Kenyatta championing the Mau Mau causes.

  What Muindi Mbingu did for his people is worth remembering hence Muindi Mbingu street in Nairobi.

  From: http://www.kenyakeep.org

• 6:47

  Green Grass

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I think one of the most intriguing things in this life is the way that we never quite are satisfied with the way that our lives are at any one moment. For example when a person is single, they want to be with someone else and when one is with someone else, they want to be single again. Many people can’t seem to decide what they want. I guess it is all about the case of the grass looking greener on the other side.

  Last year, my friend Delasoi and I needed to have a talk concerning her career. She used to work along Uhuru Highway and so we decided to cross the road and look for a quiet spot to talk at Central Park. When we got into Central Park, we moved for sometime looking for a bench to sit on, but they were all taken. And so we decided to sit on the grass. It had rained recently, and so we would have to go to a spot that had long grass to avoid getting muddy. From where we were standing, there was a nice and inviting patch of green grass in the shade under a tree and so we decided to sit there. After walking for a few metres, we got to the spot and it turned out to be too wet for comfort. Again, we saw another patch of grass a few metres away and once again we walked over. When we got there, it turned out that the grass was too scattered for us to sit without our clothes getting stained by the red soil. And once again we spotted another patch and we moved there with the same results. We moved for a few more times before we looked at each other in stupefied comprehension. The reason why the grass always looked greener over there was because we were looking at it from the side; the view from the side gave it a false appearance of being more concentrated than it really was – hence greener. But when we looked at it at close quarters from above, it appeared sketchy since we were seeing the blades of grass from the top.

  So, what kind of a person are you? That is a question that you will have to answer to yourself over and over and over again if you plan to remain yourself. Why? Because that question serves as the light house that enables us to navigate the sea that comprises being a human being. At one time, we think that we ought to be more lively; we go out daily for a few nights and it drains the life out of us. At other times we want to be serious; we work with so much concentration that it dulls us to the bone. At other times we want to be outgoing; we follow other people around until we realize that we are becoming puppy dogs. And in all these times, there is the person that you are running away from. So, what kind of a person are you? Be that.

  What kind of a person are you? Never get tired of asking that question, and never be afraid of the answer. For no matter where you are, grass with be green.

• 5:26

  The How and What of Thought

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I like my friend Njeri because she is very truthful. And once in a while we have a conversation that leaves a lasting impression. Like the time she told me about the voices in her head and the way that they tell her all sorts of things. I was very interested and I asked her how she manages them. So she told me that she simply tells them to shut up. And they do.

  So I thought I would do the same with the voices in my head. The reason is because they are always talking and they often say things that are hurtful. And so I looked for a time when they were busy and told them to shut up. I think I startled them because they paused for a bit then continued chattering as if nothing happened. And so I bolstered myself up some more and ordered them to shut up in a louder voice. And for a moment there, I thought I had succeeded, until they turned their wrath on me and started to threaten me. They started saying about all the nasty things that they can make happen in my life, and that there was nothing I could do about it. I got scared and didn’t dare to tell them to shut up again.

  I continued wondering how I was going to quieten the voices. And after their threats, I realized just how audacious they were, and I knew that I had to figure out something smart. And so I began observing them in the time when there wasn’t much going on.

  After some time of paying attention, I realized that when the voices are very active there is pressure in my head. And each time I relaxed consciously, the pressure eased and the voices grew quiet, giving much needed relief. I was happy with the discovery and I started taking time to relax in order to manage the pressure and the voices. And that is when, I discovered something even more interesting; I pinpointed the location in my head where the voices were coming from.

  I learnt that when the voices were active – which was always – my attention in the brain was towards my left. The only way that I can explain it is by asking you to imagine holding a pen with your hand and writing in a book. If you are right handed, you notice that you are more inclined towards your right hand because it is ‘stronger’. I realized that when I was thinking, the left side of my brain was ‘stronger’. And when I switched my attention to the right side of my brain, the voices went off! It is like moving from the living room to the bedroom and realizing that the noise from the TV show – that you were not even watching – is no longer with you.

  It was quite a relief to realize that my brain has compartments where I can ‘go’ and discover different things. At first, it is quite cumbersome – as trying to write with a left hand if you are right handed – and you can’t seem to be able to switch at will, but with practice you slowly learn how to. Apart from switching off the voices, moving your attention from one part of your brain to another enables you to let go of unwanted emotions. For example, if one of those things that come to mind and throw you off appears – say anxiety – you simply move from one part of your brain to another and they feeling dies off completely. What is most gratifying is that the freedom is present even in the presence of that which ordinarily makes you anxious.

  All this is still new to me, and I am very excited by the possibilities. Of course at first it feels unreal and even makes you feel light headed – as you often do when something significant changes in your mind – but for anyone who has spent years trying to change how they think, this is as practical as it gets. In most cases we are taught how to change the what of thinking, but I believe what we need is to change the how of thinking.

• 4:36

  Real Estate

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Have you ever contemplated just how much space you occupy in this Universe? When it finally hit me, the thought was both scary and liberating at the same time. It was on a day when I was strolling in the City with a friend and it occurred to us that all the space that our bodies occupy in this world – in the Universe – was less than the volume of a green rubbish bin that was in front of us! It was scary to realize just how small I was. On that day in the midst of the tall buildings in the city, I saw myself as a tiny ant running up and down foraging – like all the others hurrying all around me to complete their errands before darkness fell.

  As we just stood there with my friend looking at the green rubbish bin, we started wondering aloud why we often considered ourselves so important! That we thought that God – the Creator of the 6 billion human beings in the world, and all the trillions of stars in our Galaxy, and the trillions of Galaxies known to man – depended on what we do to be happy or unhappy. That if we do ‘good’ and sing praises to Him, he would be thrilled. That if we do ‘bad’ and forget to say just how magnificent He is, He would be angry at us. That as I write about Him and write god instead of God, He will not be pleased with me. And I think for the first time in my life, I was able to understand what the word ‘Ego’ means.

  I have always known ego to indicate an inflated sense of importance, but I always associated it with having a lot of money, and machismo. But when I look at it now, I see it very much in myself as a religious and spiritual person. Just like a person would pop up a name of a famous person just to show how important he is, we often do the same as ‘Godly’ people. Have you heard people gossip maliciously about another and then conclude the session by saying, “Let’s pray for him/her”? Or when someone says magnanimously, “God spoke to me and said…..”

  I am not saying that there is anything wrong with God speaking to anyone, but it is just that when one uses that claim as mileage to justify lack of reason, or to show off, then the motive is wrong; that’s ego. Incidentally, what many people consider to be the voice of God speaking to them, is the ‘voice in the head’ or the voice of ego.

  Anyway, on that day, I felt liberated. Why? Because I was able to see that I do not have to change the world in order to feel purposeful. What do I mean by that? That my primary responsibility is to manage this small space that I have been given. And why is that so important? Because anything else is beyond my control. When I direct loving and generosity and compassion and praise and understand into that space, it quickly fills up and starts to overflow, and I can genuinely give to others. On the other hand, when I attempt to give these things to others with a hope to get back, I often feel cheated since I give what I never had in the first place.

  When everywhere you look, people are scrambling for every available piece of land to occupy it is good to realize that I have my prime piece of real estate – right here.

• February 08, 2010
• 4:40

  Something To Live For

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  A friend sent me an SMS on my phone asking what I would die for. At first I thought the answer would be easy but an hour later, I still hadn’t replied and so she called to ask. I didn’t have an answer to what I would die for. The reason is because in the time that I had thought about it, the question had seemed trickier than I would have imagined.

  When I thought about the things that one should die for, my mind went back 2 years ago to the time when we had our last presidential elections. The results of the election were disputed and as a result, violence broke out and many innocent people lost their lives and property. In that group of people who lost their lives were a posse that went out into the front line in the name of the politician who they supported and hence believed had won the election. In other words, they were willing to give up their lives for the cause of the politician. And they died.

  When I thought about it, I realized none of the politicians from the two parties in contention was willing to give their lives for their cause. Neither was to be seen anywhere near areas where the asphalt was burning with tires. And when they appeared in public to give statements – and sometimes pour more fuel into the fire – they were very well protected by professional body guards hired for that job.

  Were the politicians willing to die for their cause? No! In fact the irony is that in any battle, it is the ones who have the least to gain that are always putting their lives on the line. The ones who have the most to gain are never willing to die.

  Conventional romantic wisdom tells us that the ultimate test of love is when one is willing to die for the apple of their eye. If a boy loves a girl so much and even dies for her, common sense tells me that she will grieve for some time and then put the sorrow away to make room for love with someone else. I also suspect that when the girl is 90 years old, she will most probably consider the boy who lived with her all this time to be a hero. Wouldn’t it make more sense to find something to live for instead?

• 3:57

  Expanding Boundaries

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  One of the most challenging conversations that I ever had was with a friend called Tom. He brought up the conversation by wondering why our fathers didn’t buy land in the City Centre when it was readily available many years ago. At the end of the conversation, Tom warned that 20 years from now, our children will be questioning about the same thing about their parents – us. After that conversation, one of the things that became very clear to me is that in 20 years’ time, that which will be of great value might not necessarily seem important today, and is most probably readily available; just as land in the City Centre was much cheaper and abundant to our fathers when they were young. The challenge is to identify what is readily available to us today that will be of great value 20 years from now.

  Each time I think about it, I always conclude that that ‘thing’ that will be of great value in 20 years is consciousness. For the purpose of this article I will look at consciousness in terms of the scope that is defined by the boundaries of our mind. As we know, these boundaries are defined and marked as we develop in life. Up till our 20s, the boundaries are defined by our parents and teachers and relatives and friends. But then when we come out of the school and into the world of careers and jobs, the boundaries expand because we realize that it is mandatory in order for us to cope in our new found reality of financial responsibility. When we get married and start families in our 30s, the boundaries expand some more as we learn how to take on even more responsibilities in the world. By the time we are getting into our 40s, we more or less have found a handle on life and tend to settle into a routine that works very comfortably with us and those around us. And there lies the danger, for many people decide to settles into their mental boundaries for good.

  What happens when a person settles into a fixed consciousness for good? Well, they remain in the same state of affairs year in and year out. And I am sure that you know of people who just settle into life and every day looks like another. In most cases, they hold the same job for years, maintain a predictable daily routine, go to the same social venues, maintain the same circle of friends and generally like their boats not to be rocked. If any of the parameters of such a person’s life changes, it appears as if their whole world has collapsed.

  But is settling into a comfortable lifestyle so bad? No, it isn’t. But you see, there is a better way. What is that better way? The better way is for a person to take it upon themselves to expand the boundaries in their minds. How? Through ‘personal development’ initiatives. Such as sports and fitness, reading books, learning new skills, developing hobbies and so forth. Of course the benefits of such an approach to life include a healthy and happy lifestyle and even financial gains. For such a person, no day is like any other since the mental boundaries are always shifting and their consciousness is very dynamic.

  If you compare the person who ’settled’ into their mental boundaries and the person who made a conscious effort to expand their mental boundaries, what will be the change in 20 years? I will tell you that if the difference were to be measured in acres of land, the first guy might have a quarter acre where he has his small comfortable house, and the second person will have hundreds of acres spread across various parts of the globe. And in 20 years time, what will the children say? The children of the first person will be wondering what their father did while other men developed themselves, and the children of the second will be increasing on what their father continues to build on.

• February 06, 2010
• 1:38

  Progress In Bytes

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I couldn’t wait to get to the office this morning. The reason is because I was excited to see if my downloads completed overnight. Among others, I am downloading Season 5 of “Entourage”, the complete works of George Michael, Celine Dion, Dido, and James Last, and my favorite – a whole 95 episodes of “The Muppet Show”. When I look at the statistics on my computer, I have downloaded 10 GB or data and uploaded 5 GB of data. Part of the excitement is because until a few days ago, Safaricom would sell 1 GB of downloaded data for KShs. 2,500. Now, for KShs. 1,000 you have unlimited internet access for 7 days. In just 2 days, I have downloaded data worth over KShs. 25,000!

  For me, the proliferation of the Internet and the mobile phone are among the top indicators of just how much things can change in a few years. Slightly over 10 years ago, we would leave a 1 MB download to run overnight for 2 reasons; One, because it would take hours, and Two, because it was only at night when there would be a good chance that the download would complete successfully without timing out. It could take up to a week of daily attempts to successfully download a 1 MB software using a computer modem over the Kenya Posts and Telecommunications Corporation’s telephone line. Of course back then having a land line was a great achievement.

  In 1990, I met a girl who had a key like none I had ever seen before. When I enquired what the key was used for, she said, “It is for my family’s home computer.” At that time, I had never seen a computer, and I couldn’t believe that anyone might have one at home. And from her description, I imagined that a computer had to look like a TV, but my deduction led me to conclude that it required an ignition key to turn on, just like a car!

  In 1999, I was ecstatic at buying my first computer – a Pentium 1 with 4.3 GB hard disk. I remember the Dixon my Tech savvy friend telling me, “The hard disk in this computer has so much space that even your children will never fill it with data!” Given that the largest storage medium I had at my disposal was the 1.44 MB floppy disk, that was easy to believe. Now, I don’t have children yet and have already filled hard disks with hundreds of GB worth of data.

  From how we know it today, how different will the world be in 20 years?

• 0:50

  I Bet You Can

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  The other day, I made a bet with a total stranger who didn’t believe that it is possible for anyone to swim 50 lengths of the swimming pool without stopping. And it all started when I mentioned that I like swimming. That is when she asked how many lengths I can make in a pool. And so I said 50 because that was the number that I had done earlier in the day. She called me a liar, and that is when we shook hands on the bet for KShs. 1,000.

  But neither would I have thought that swimming for a long distance was possible had I not lived in Mombasa about 2 years ago. In fact, I would have summed it in the same way that my friend did in an email, “When I go into the pool I’m so anxious to make this lap… and that lap… up to there, then I have chlorine in my eyes and in my mouth and after a few minutes I want to get out .” In the 6 months that I stayed at the coastal town, I would swim out into the open sea each day that I went to the beach. I would swim for as far as my courage and strength would allow me to. In the process, I learnt that the secret to swimming for long or far is to be relaxed; and especially if you are swimming in salty water, and against the waves.

  Now, what is the number 1 secret to being relaxed? Breathe!

  If you breathe effectively as you swim, it can become as effortless as walking, and with a little practice with your stroke you can easily do 50 or more lengths. It is possible to do this because it requires very little effort from your side to float or for your body to move through water. Why? Because of the buoying properties of water. Now imagine, if you were to walk up and down the length of a pool, how much effort would you require to do 50 lengths? Now imagine once again, if you were to walk up and down the length of a pool while holding your breathe, how many lengths would you be able to make? The only reason why many people only manage to blindly churn across the pool for a few meters and come up dazed is because they do it while holding their breathe. For anyone who thinks that swimming is hard work, learning how to breathe while in water totally changes everything!

  If you can breathe effectively as you swim – or as you do anything else for that matter – then it becomes as effortless as walking.

• January 27, 2010
• 23:43

  Happiness FM

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  If you have ever listened to news on a radio on Short Wave (SW) frequency, then you know that it is as dodgy as an artist trying to make a painting of clothes on a hanging line on a windy day. The voice of the announcer seems to drift in and out of clear hearing range, and one is forced to impatiently tinker with the dial in order to lock in the sound, if only to hear an importance announcement.

  And so it seems to be for most people as far as happiness is concerned. One moment they have it, and the next they are trying to do something in order to get it back. It becomes a very fleeting business that is rife with frustration. And looking for happiness can become a very unhappy affair!

  But is it possible to have a strong and purposeful grip of happiness? Can it be as clear and focused as the sound that comes from a radio of Frequency Modulation (FM)? Yes. And the reason is because it is something that is within our conscious control. Perhaps the virility of happiness can be captured in the meaning of the following quote by Abraham Lincoln (16th President of the United States):

  “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

• 23:21

  Comfort Zone

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Someone asked me about the ‘Comfort Zone’. The first thing that came to mind is the fact that we all are looking for happiness in life. And each time we find happiness, we simultaneously discover a comfort zone. And yet, we are discouraged from being in the comfort zone. Conventional wisdom seems to suggest that we should always be looking for the bigger, better, shinier thing, and (quietly) implies that once we get it, we will be happier. In other words, postpone your happiness for another day or month or year. Surprisingly, the ardent proponents of this theory always tend to change their minds when all is said and done, and instead argue that people find out what is truly important in their lives early enough and enjoy it often.

  So, what is it that is important in life? Is it wealth? Is it serving others? Is it giving time to religious causes? I have seen people who spend all their waking hours serving humanity, yet they do not consider what they do to be important enough to warrant a life time commitment. I have seen people who ‘work for God’ gladly walk out of that obligation to take up ‘human work’. We all have heard about or seen people who give up their wealth and affluent living to settle for modest lifestyles.

  So, what is it that is important in life? If I was to think of the one single thing that I would say gives life meaning, it would be that which makes us happy. And yet, happiness puts us squarely in a comfort zone. Now, is that so bad?

• 0:42

  Swimming Goggles

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I recently discovered a nice swimming spot in town. It is at the Meridian Court Hotel near the Globe Cinema Roundabout in Nairobi. The swimming pool is at the roof top of the hotel building 6 floors up. Compared to other swimming pools in Nairobi, it is large and clean, and not crowded at all. The cover charge per day is KShs. 200 and it is open to the public every day till 6pm. When I went there to swim on Sunday, I became concerned since my eyes became red and irritated. That usually happens each time I would go swimming and I attributed it to the Chlorine that is used to treat water in a swimming pool. Since I plan to swim at least 3 times a week, I decided to get myself a pair of swimming goggles to try and remedy the situation.

  I did not know what to expect since I have never used swimming goggles before. Actually, each time I see anyone with a pair at the pool, I always assume that they are expert swimmers. In my mind, I associated anyone with a pair of swimming goggles and those tight briefs to be an expert swimmer. Maybe in the same way that I would expect anyone carrying a surfing board to be able to ride a wave.

  And so yesterday I went to Nairobi Sports House to buy myself a pair of goggles. I have to admit that I was surprised to find most of them to be over KShs. 1,500. The most I had expected to spend was KShs. 600. Anyway, I got a good pair after parting with KShs. 2,100. The sales girl assured me that the ‘Speedo’ goggles would serve me well, and I said to myself “They had better!”

  When I got to the swimming pool later in the afternoon, I wore my swimming goggles and got into the water. Even though I was expecting that my eyes would remain dry throughout the swimming experience, I was surprised to realize that I had a window through which to look at life inside the swimming pool! I am sure you know how the pool water usually looks cloudy when you look through it and you can’t even see other swimmers until you are just about to painfully bump into them. With swimming goggles, everything is bright and clear. It actually feels like looking into an aquarium.

  At first, I kept getting out of breathe since I would forget that I was under water and stay too long without coming up for air. However, once I got used to the new vision, I began realizing the benefits of wearing swimming goggles. The first and most obvious benefit is that with a clear view of where you are going, it is so easy to free your mind to focus on your swimming techniques. For example I was able to practice swimming in a straight line since I could easily follow the small lines that are traced by the joints where two tiles come together on the swimming pool floor. Another benefit is that even when swimming under water, I could see the approach of those energetic guys who can easily mow you down as they furiously churn across the pool in a blind effort to get across by sheer brute force. And while steering clear of other swimmers you get the additional benefit of the guilt free thrill of discreetly checking them out from the waist below. Of course my eyes remained dry and for the first time, I came out of the swimming pool without any redness or sore vision.

• January 26, 2010
• 1:39

  The Thinker and the Prover

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  My head is toying around with a quote that I read in a book; “The Thinker Thinks and the Prover Proves”. This saying is used in reference to our Conscious and Sub-Conscious mind. In general, it refers to the Conscious mind as the Thinker and the Sub-Conscious mind as the Prover. Being one of those people who once in a while gets lost in the woods of the concept of Conscious Mind and Sub-Conscious Mind, any explanation that comes along I welcome.

  I will try to explain what I understand about this saying by telling you a story of what happened on Friday evening. I got home early expecting to have a quiet evening when two of my friends called and said they were coming over. I was glad because we hadn’t met in a while even though we had been trying to set up a meeting for some time, in vain.

  When they arrived, we were all excited to share the news of what had been going on in our lives. But eventually, the conversation turned to an incident that happened in one of my friend’s office. It involved some two young men who were talking about drugs; in the casual way that two girlfriends might discuss the merits and demerits of a particular facial cream. In the course of that conversation, it emerged that the effects of one of the drugs is to make a person hallucinate ‘a little green man’. So, one of the young man advised the other, “If you see a little green man, just ignore him.” I would imagine that the little green man is a party pooper.

  My friend was so petrified at the prospect of seeing a little green man that the rest of us brought up all sorts of stories to make fun of her. Soon, we exhausted the story of the little green man, and it emerged that my friend was carrying a copy of a movie called, “What the Blip do we Know?” None of us had watched it and when I put it in the DVD player, we all found ourselves captivated by the promising beginning. And so we decided to settle down and watch the movie.

  The movie generally explains how we can free ourselves from destructive tendencies that we all find ourselves acting out over and over again in our lives. It talked about taking charge of life through understanding how we get ‘hooked’ into destructive cycles and addictions that we just cannot seem to break out of. For example, there was an overweight man at a party who was gorging himself with food to the point of bursting, and yet he continued even though he wanted to stop; he was addicted to food. In the explanation to how the situation comes about, the movie talks about the emotional attachment that the man had on food, and the dependency that his body had on the chemicals secreted by the thoughts that trigger the eating binge. Those retrogressive thoughts were represented as little green men that talked to the overweight man and mercilessly prodded him to eat.

  When we got to that point of the movie, my ‘little green man’ friend suddenly shot up in disbelief. She just couldn’t fathom the fact that she had ‘attracted’ little green men in her life! It was pretty amazing to watch her reaction. She was even concerned that the overeating man didn’t take the advice to ignore the little green man!

  “The Thinker Thinks and the Prover Proves”: My friend consciously thought about little green men, and her sub-conscious mind – the Prover – materialized little green men.

  How do we end up with a habit? When the Thinker thinks and the Prover proves for long enough, then the Prover will become so competent that he will prove even without the Thinker having to think. The Prover just needs a signal – for example an image that existed whenever the Thinker thought – to know that it is yet again time to prove. The habit will become as automatic as looking up and down the road before crossing, or opening the mouth when a spoon approaches with food. Do we think about such things? And yet at some point in life, we had to learn by consciously thinking about it.

  How do we break a habit? By having a different thought each time we are confronted with the same old situation that we do not want to re-live. The Thinker will think a different thought and the Prover will prove a different reality. Which comes down to what we already know; to break a habit, replace it with another habit.

  It has been proven that when you follow a sequence of events for 21 days in a row, or for 21 times, then you form a habit. Any subsequent time you follow the same sequence of events, you reinforce the habit: similar to how the wheels of a car make a deeper imprint onto a dirt road with each subsequent pass. To break a habit? Try having a different thought each time confronted with the same old situation that you do not want for 21 days in a row. Not necessarily easy to do, but possible.

• January 25, 2010
• 1:58

  Taming

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I have a friend who wakes up one day and re-organizes her whole house. Prior to that, she would be brooding or be in one of those places where people go to when they need answers. Then one day I asked her, “What would happen if you felt the urge to re-organize and just resisted it?” The reason why I asked is that I figured that at that moment of re-organization, she has very powerful energy inside her that was capable of seeing the same puzzle but with the pieces arranged differently. If she didn’t spend it on organizing furniture, then it would be used inside to re-organize the pieces of the puzzle of her life.

  Well, I never got to convince her not to re-organize, but I often thought about it. And then in a discussion with another friend, she told me that when sexual energy threatens to destabilize her, she uses it to write poems. However, she couldn’t offer the explanation of the steps of how that happened because to her, it was normal.

  The reason why I was curious was because I couldn’t have imagined how one can ignore the furiously pounding heartbeat of a lustful mind for anything else in this world. At least not until I asked myself; “What if I use that energy instead to re-arrange my house?” Incredibly, I was able to shelve lust in that moment and managed to re-organized my house; furiously. And I remembered my friend.

  And even sometimes when I am in the middle of a storm and I feel compelled to do something – if only to get a distraction from the battering – I decide not to do anything at all. When that happens, you might get bewildered to feel the energy burn itself out like a wood camp fire when the campers retreat into the tent for the night. Have you ever opened a Coke bottle and the drink just bubbles to the top and you were afraid that it would pour? You moved the bottle away from you in anticipation of the dark liquid cascading over and making a mess on clean surfaces. But then, the hissing bubbles barely make it over the rim and quietly hiss back into the bottle. Can you imagine the relief? Well, that is how it feels like when you feel the tornado die down slowly to a wind that only flutters the leaves on a tree.

  Just ask yourself, “What if I use this energy instead to….?” And something just might happen.

• January 23, 2010
• 2:27

  One Eye and Then Another

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  In a conversation with his friend Andre Marchand, the French artist Henri Matisse described the process of passing perceptions from one way of looking to another:

  “Do you know that a man has only one eye which sees and registers everything; this eye, like a superb camera which takes minute pictures, very sharp, tiny – and with that picture man tells himself: ‘This time I know the reality of things,’ and he is calm for a moment. Then, slowly superimposing itself on the picture, another eye makes its appearance, invisibly, which makes an entirely different picture for him.

  “Then our man no longer sees clearly, a struggle begins between the first and second eye, the fight is fierce, finally the second eye has the upper hand, takes over and that’s the end of it. Now it has command of the situation, the second eye can then continue its work alone and elaborate its own picture according to the laws of interior vision. This very special eye is found here,” says Matisse, pointing to his brain.

  Marchand didn’t mention which side of his brain Matisse pointed to.

  -J. Flam
  Matisse on Art, 1973

  As Quoted in the Book ‘The New Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain‘
  By Betty Edwards

• August 29, 2009
• 16:38

  The Making of Daily Bread

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I haven’t seen one of my neighbors in a while. And so when I met him changing a flat tire of his truck at the parking lot this morning, we had a chance to catch up on what has been going on for the last few months.

  Well, my neighbor’s name is Joel and he has been in Narok town for a while. Narok is a farming town located some 2 hours drive from Nairobi. Narok is in the heart of the wheat producing region of Kenya, and I hear that it is dry and dusty. Apparently, it can be a shrewd business decision for anyone to lease land in which to farm wheat, and make a handsome profit from the venture. That is what Joel is currently doing.

  I remember him telling me about it a few years ago. At that time, it was just an idea that he way toying around with. Talking with him today, it is easy to tell that experience has a way of bolstering the words that come from a man’s mouth. Joel now talks with the authority of a seasoned wheat farmer, complete with a dusty, weather beaten, all terrain truck to prove it.

  Most of the small details about wheat farming that he mentioned with so much excitement I cannot remember. And as I said goodbye to Joel and went ahead to the shop to buy some breakfast, I wondered if this is a business I should consider getting into. But them I remembered that Joel told me that wheat season – from preparing the land for planting to harvesting – lasts a whole year. And that is when I saw the bread that I was holding absent mindedly, and realized that it has been a whole year in the making!

  It has taken a whole year – and all those things that Joel informed me that go into wheat farming – for the bread I was about to eat to land on my table. And as I went ahead to have my breakfast, it occurred to me that each time that we pray the simply line of the Lord’s prayer; “Give us this day our daily bread…” we usually are asking for instant outcomes that usually require tremendous input from individuals like Joel and many other people for hundreds of days.

  Most people are familiar with delayed prayers. Delayed prayers are the number one reason why people come out waving placards and protesting loudly (to anyone who will care to listen) about God’s unfairness. But what if the answer to our prayer is delayed because there were some unforeseen circumstances that Joel and his partners encountered in the current season, and they have to patiently wait until the next season before they can get a harvest? Or perhaps there is someone else who needs the bread as a matter of life and death and got preference over us? Or perhaps we took such a small thing as a loaf of bread for granted and forgot to give thanks?

  Well, who knows? As I said, most of the details that Joel mentioned about wheat farming are still vague to me.

• 16:36

  Gratitude in 20 Years

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  A friend once noted that when our parents were much younger, it was very easy for a person to acquire land within the relatively undeveloped Nairobi town back then. The observation came up during a conversation in which we were complaining about the high cost of office space within the city centre. My friend said, “If our fathers had acquired land in the city in the 60s and 70s, we would now be enjoying the benefits that the children of the men with vision now enjoy.” We both kept quite as we imagined the benefits that children of visionaries enjoy. But before long, my friend intruded into the daydreams by saying, “You know what? 20 years from now, our children will be having this conversation if we fail to acquire that which will be valuable to them then.”

  Looking back at that conversation, I often wonder what it is that will be of value in 20 year’s time. That thing is currently readily available, and as a result has a very low value attached to it – just like land in the city was readily available, and hence had much lower value in the 60s and 70s than in has now. But I suppose the challenge is to identify that thing and invest in it now. But given that people have the tendency of coveting the thing that seems overpriced at any particular moment, it might seem kind of foolish for a person to get his or her eyes from the ball and run after ‘useless’ things: maybe as ridiculous as Noah might have looked when he spent a good 100 years of his life constructing a boat in the desert.

  I suppose the consolation here is that that ‘useless’ thing that you or I spend so much time doing today, might just be that which will give our lives work meaning in years to come and perhaps that which our children will thank us for in 20 years time.

• 9:54

  Gratitude in 20 Years

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  A friend once noted that when our parents were much younger, it was very easy for a person to acquire land within the relatively undeveloped Nairobi town back then. The observation came up during a conversation in which we were complaining about the high cost of office space within the city centre. My friend said, “If our fathers had acquired land in the city in the 60s and 70s, we would now be enjoying the benefits that the children of the men with vision now enjoy.” We both kept quite as we imagined the benefits that children of visionaries enjoy. But before long, my friend intruded into the daydreams by saying, “You know what? 20 years from now, our children will be having this conversation if we fail to acquire that which will be valuable to them then.”

  Looking back at that conversation, I often wonder what it is that will be of value in 20 year’s time. That thing is currently readily available, and as a result has a very low value attached to it – just like land in the city was readily available, and hence had much lower value in the 60s and 70s than in has now. But I suppose the challenge is to identify that thing and invest in it now. But given that people have the tendency of coveting the thing that seems overpriced at any particular moment, it might seem kind of foolish for a person to get his or her eyes from the ball and run after ‘useless’ things: maybe as ridiculous as Noah might have looked when he spent a good 100 years of his life constructing a boat in the desert.

  I suppose the consolation here is that that ‘useless’ thing that you or I spend so much time doing today, might just be that which will give our lives work meaning in years to come and perhaps that which our children will thank us for in 20 years time.

• 7:44

  The Making of Daily Bread

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I haven’t seen one of my neighbors in a while. And so when I met him changing a flat tire of his truck at the parking lot this morning, we had a chance to catch up on what has been going on for the last few months.

  Well, my neighbor’s name is Joel and he has been in Narok town for a while. Narok is a farming town located some 2 hours drive from Nairobi. Narok is in the heart of the wheat producing region of Kenya, and I hear that it is dry and dusty. Apparently, it can be a shrewd business decision for anyone to lease land in which to farm wheat, and make a handsome profit from the venture. That is what Joel is currently doing.

  I remember him telling me about it a few years ago. At that time, it was just an idea that he way toying around with. Talking with him today, it is easy to tell that experience has a way of bolstering the words that come from a man’s mouth. Joel now talks with the authority of a seasoned wheat farmer, complete with a dusty, weather beaten, all terrain truck to prove it.

  Most of the small details about wheat farming that he mentioned with so much excitement I cannot remember. And as I said goodbye to Joel and went ahead to the shop to buy some breakfast, I wondered if this is a business I should consider getting into. But them I remembered that Joel told me that wheat season – from preparing the land for planting to harvesting – lasts a whole year. And that is when I saw the bread that I was holding absent mindedly, and realized that it has been a whole year in the making!

  It has taken a whole year – and all those things that Joel informed me that go into wheat farming – for the bread I was about to eat to land on my table. And as I went ahead to have my breakfast, it occurred to me that each time that we pray the simply line of the Lord’s prayer; “Give us this day our daily bread…” we usually are asking for instant outcomes that usually require tremendous input from individuals like Joel and many other people for hundreds of days.

  Most people are familiar with delayed prayers. Delayed prayers are the number one reason why people come out waving placards and protesting loudly (to anyone who will care to listen) about God’s unfairness. But what if the answer to our prayer is delayed because there were some unforeseen circumstances that Joel and his partners encountered in the current season, and they have to patiently wait until the next season before they can get a harvest? Or perhaps there is someone else who needs the bread as a matter of life and death and got preference over us? Or perhaps we took such a small thing as a loaf of bread for granted and forgot to give thanks?

  Well, who knows? As I said, most of the details that Joel mentioned about wheat farming are still vague to me.

• February 23, 2009
• 0:45

  Come and let me Look in Your Eyes

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I guess growing isn’t hard to do
  Just stand against the wall
  Once I was just two feet high
  Today I’m six feet tall

  But knowing who to listen to
  Is something else again
  Words just whistle ’round my head
  Like seasons in the wind

  All across the water the clouds are sailing
  They won’t let me look at the sky
  All I want to do is try and find myself
  Come and let me look in your eyes

  In searching for the way to go
  I’ve followed all the rules
  The way they say to chooses between
  The wise men and the fools

  I listen to the words they say
  I read what I should read
  I do whatever’s right to do
  Try to be what I should be

  Someone let me in I think the sky is falling
  Seems I’ve gotten lost on my way
  All I want to do is try and find myself
  Come and let me look in your eyes

  Ah, but wisdom isn’t underground
  Nor on a mountainside
  And where am I to take myself
  There’s no place here to hide

  All across the universe the stars are fading
  Seems we’ve gotten lost on our way
  All I want to do is try and find myself
  Come and let me look in your eyes
  Come and let me look in your eyes
  Come and let me look in your eyes

  Words by John Denver and Joe Henry
  - Music by John Denver

• February 22, 2009
• 23:02

  Dance of Life

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I read somewhere a few days ago that ‘the real dance of life takes place between the person that you once were and the person that you are becoming’. Since then I have thought about life and about the dance floor.

  There is a dance that is energetic and fun and very joyful and life is filled with sunshine and butterflies, and the dance that is fast and furious and almost violent and life is filled with drama and tempest. I have thought about the dance that is slow and sensual and very calming – one that happens when a person knows the place of love, and the one that is slow and melancholic and very lonely – one where a person will not find completeness even in the middle of a crowd.

  When who I have been and who I am becoming are too radically different, my dance of life is like that of partners that have never danced together before – quite jagged and might result in smarting toes. On the other hand if who I have been and who I am becoming isn’t much different, my dance of life is very lethargic – and yet it gives a chance to feel and to savor and to appreciate. Whatever the case might be now, life does not let us dance to the same rhythm for too long.

• February 19, 2009
• 22:59

  The Simple

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I first saw him about two years ago while I was walking down the corner from where I live; a young man in his twenties. He was looking up at a banana tree where a small ball with a string attached to it was hanging. It was obvious at first glance that he was different; from the way that his mouth was twisted in a wet grin and the hand seemed to hang half-heartedly on his side. I concluded that he was one of those people that we call “mentally retarded”. On that day, I quietly went past him without much thought, and left him behind in his serious contemplation on how to get the ball from up the tree.

  I saw him again about a month ago. On that day, he was running behind a huge truck in high excitement. The lorry was traveling slowly on the bumpy road and he did not have much trouble keeping up. As the lorry passed by in a cloud of dry February dust, the young man jogged behind it, pointing it out to me and shouting “kilori!” – meaning – “big lorry!” Since that day, I have come to learn that he really likes lorries since I have seen him hanging around a neighborhood yard where lorries are parked – just waiting for one to move so that he can run after it.

  The day before yesterday, I was walking around the corner from where I live and came across him. It was the same place where I saw him for the first time. This time, he was just standing as if confused by a decision of where to go next. When he saw me, he shouted “Mambo!” – meaning “What’s up!” That word was uttered with the difficulty of a heavy tongue that people with such a condition endure, and yet there is only one “normal” person that I know who says “Mambo!” with as much enthusiastic sincerity as the young man. And as I said Hi to him, he extended his arm for a handshake. When I extended mine, he grabbed it with an oversized palm and covered it with his second palm in a ‘power handshake’ that many seasoned politicians would envy. And then, he held on to my hand briefly and started walking in the direction where I was going. He walked with me for about 20 meters and in that time, we had a little conversation. He can only manage one word at a time and when I asked him his name, he said “Annan”. When I asked him where he lived, he pointed towards the direction we were walking from. When I mentioned the word “lorry”, he became animated and started uttering words such as “big lorry” and “road” and “town”. By then we met another person and he once again offered a warm, “Mambo!” to the man. The man responded warmly to him, and it seemed like they knew each other well, and I left them together.

  It was simplicity that the young man reminded me of. I vividly remember how much fun it used to be when I was a boy to run after a lorry on a dusty village trail. What is a lorry now? A noisy engine that disturbs my peace when I am on the cell phone and covers me in dust when I am hurrying along in my bright shirt? It was sincerity that the young man reminded me of. When did I last feel compelled to use a double handed handshake molded by the warmth of the heart? When did I say “Mambo!” to a total stranger without a second thought? It is such encounters that remind us that humanity is much more than what people look like and that the spirit cannot be suppressed by any human condition.

• 16:30

  The Diamond Necklace Of The Heart

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  There is the story that is told of the woman who owned a diamond necklace. One day she was at home frantically looking everywhere for it – from room to room in her mansion – not knowing that all the while it was hanging around her neck. This story was told to illustrate to us that we might look all around us for Peace, joy, health and well-being not knowing that these treasure can only be found inside us. If the woman had looked at a mirror, she would have seen that she had the precious necklace all the while. What is the mirror that we can use to see the treasures inside? Awareness. Awareness gives us the eyes to see the diamond necklace of the heart.

• 16:04

  Perhaps Love

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Perhaps love is like a resting place
  A shelter from the storm
  It exists to give you comfort
  It is there to keep you warm
  And in those times of trouble
  When you are most alone
  The memory of love will bring you home

  Perhaps love is like a window
  Perhaps an open door
  It invites you to come closer
  It wants to show you more
  And even if you lose yourself
  And don’t know what to do
  The memory of love will see you through

  Oh, love to some is like a cloud
  To some as strong as steel
  For some a way of living
  For some a way to feel
  And some say love is holding on
  And some say letting go
  And some say love is everything
  And some say they don’t know

  Perhaps love is like the ocean
  Full of conflict, full of Pain
  Like a fire when it’s cold outside
  Or thunder when it rains
  If I should live forever
  And all my dreams come true
  My memories of love will be of you

  - Song by John Denver

• 16:01

  The Keepers

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I bought an internet modem from Safaricom about a month ago. It was at a time when the modems were going at a huge discount and it took me at least 2 hours of queuing before I could purchase the modem. After getting the modem, I asked for help from one of the assistants who showed me how to set it up on the computer after unpacking the modem from the box. But as soon as I got home, I realized that I had forgotten to re-park the card containing the details of the pin number for the sim card that the modem was using. However, the thought of the crowds as Safaricom lounge along Kimathi Street kept me from going back to look for the card. I wondered, where would I start looking anyway?

  Today, I needed to load more credit in order to continue using the modem, but I realized that I needed one of the numbers on the card that I left on a bench at Safaricom about a month ago. So, I decided to go back to the Safaricom lounge on Kimathi Street and ask for help. Hopefully, the technicians would figure out how to add more money to the modem without the missing number.

  When I arrived at Safaricom, there were relatively few people, and I went to the nearest technician to explain my problem. When I told him that I lost the card about a month ago, he put on a forlorn face and told me that customers always make the mistake of leaving behind their cards and it would be almost impossible to trace mine amongst the hundreds available. With that, he asked to see my modem. When I gave it to him, he turned it around and looked at the markings on the sim card. He them reached into his wallet and removed a card and compared the numbers on it with the numbers on my modem’s sim card. He then said, “This is the card that you lost. It is good that you have come back since I have kept it in my wallet since that day.”

  Two things surprised me; that of all the cards that have been left behind, mine was the one in his wallet. Why would he think of putting it in his wallet? Of all the technicians that were there today, I went straight to him. How did he even think about comparing my modem’s sim card with the card in his wallet? I couldn’t hide my curiosity and so I asked him about the coincidence. To which he said that he remembered me from that day that I bought the modem and he knew that I would go back.

  I have now become used to these kinds of coincidences and no longer spend too much time with my jaw hanging open. But as I was walking away from Safaricom, I was reminded once again that despite our not knowing it, there are forces that are always working in our favor in the background. Our Keepers. About the incident, my friend said, “Some things are meant to be.”

• 15:21

  The Reassured 50

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  As I clear the clutter of receipts and scraps of papers that accumulated in the pockets of the clothes that I wore today, I look inside my wallet and see a tattered 50 shillings note. It is among other notes that are clean and crisp. Of all the money that is in my wallet, the 50 shillings note is the only one that I did not get from the bank. I think about removing it from the wallet, but then I change my mind and decide to let it stay. And as I finish clearing the clutter, the story of the tattered 50 shillings note suddenly comes to mind.

  While I was going to work in the morning, some school boys boarded the public transport matatu that I was traveling in. When the time came for everyone to pay their fare, one of the boys gave a 100 shillings note, and was given back a 50 shillings note as his change. However, he angrily thrust the note back at the conductor since it looked old and dirty. The conductor must have been offended by the boy’s rudeness since he refused to change the note for him, and they began arguing over the issue. I was amused when the conductor matter of factly told the school boy that the 50 shillings note was not meant for hanging in the house, and so its beauty did not really matter. But that only incensed the boy who insisted on getting a different note from the conductor to no avail. And that is when I fished a clean 50 shillings note from my pocket and exchanged it with the school boy’s. That is how the tattered 50 shillings note ended up in my wallet.

  When I look at the tired 50 shillings note, all I can think is that rejection can sometimes make a person lose themselves in self pity and easily forget his or her true value. In the face, the 50 shillings note looks tattered, and yet its value is exactly the same as all the other 50 shillings notes in the country. And as I think about the 50 in my wallet hanging out with all the 100s and 200s and 500s and 1000s, I know that this might just be what it needs right now; to know that others accept it as it is. For just like each one of us once in a while, a tattered 50 needs to hear someone tell it that everything will be OK.

• February 02, 2009
• 23:39

  Garden Song

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  Inch by inch, row by row
  Gonna make this garden grow
  All it takes is a rake and a hoe
  And a piece of fertile ground

  Inch by inch, row by row
  Someone bless these seeds I sow
  Someone warm them from below
  Till the rain comes tumblin’ down

  Pullin’ weeds and pickin’ stones
  Man is made of dreams and bones
  Feel the need to grow my own
  Cause the time is close at hand

  Rainful rain, sun and rain
  Find my way in nature’s chain
  Tune my body and my brain
  To the music from the land

  Plant your rows straight and long
  Temper them with prayer and song
  Mother earth will make you strong
  If you give her love and care

  Old crow watchin’ hungrily
  From his perch in yonder tree
  In my garden I’m as free
  As that feathered thief up there

  - Song by John Denver

  Watch Youtube

• January 22, 2009
• 3:25

  What Is Meant To Be

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I stopped by Mambo’s shop this morning on my way to work when he invited me for a cup of tea. And while I was being handed over the tea in a blue plastic mug by his wife, Mambo was busy shoeing off an eagle that was circling in the air. The eagle had come dangerously low to the ground where several young chicks were busy feeding on some morsels of grain. And as Mambo came over to join me after scaring off the eagle, I inquired about the whereabouts of the mother hen. To which Mambo answered that it had been stolen. But before he could elaborate, a policeman from the local cop station passed by the shop and Mambo started exchanging morning pleasantries in a loud jovial voice as is common for him when any of his customers or person that he knows passes by. And at that point, Mambo’s wife picked up the story about the mother hen.

  A while ago, the mother hen laid its eggs and when the time to brood came, it faithfully sat on them as is normal for a mother hen. Ordinarily, it would sit on them for three weeks, and then the chicks would hatch. However, the Mambo family was shocked to discover one afternoon that the mother hen was missing. This was 16 days into the brooding period. The mother hen had been stolen! They did not know what to do with the eggs since without the mother hen to provide warmth, the developing chicks would die within an hour.

  But as fate would have it, their neighbor had a mother hen that was also in the brooding stage. And by another stroke of fate, the mother hen was without eggs to sit on since the neighbour’s family had eaten all its eggs. And so Mambo borrowed the neighbor’s hen and it gladly sat on the eggs and kept them warm until the chicks hatched 5 days later. The surrogate mother hen then was allowed to take care of the chicks for a few days before being returned back to its owner.

  What struck me about the story was the happy coincidence of having another brooding hen at the neighbour’s. When a chicken lays its eggs and the brooding stage or time to sit on the eggs comes and there are no eggs to sit on, then the stage passes within 5 days. That is why it is easy to see the serendipity that brought the chicks to be.

  And as I finished my tea and walked away from Mambo’s shop, I knew that my belief that what is meant to be will be had just been affirmed once again.

• December 24, 2008
• 5:50

  Habit

   » ‎ Cock And Bull
  I am your constant companion,
  I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
  I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
  I am at your command.

  Half of the tasks that you do you might just as well
  Turn over to me and I will do them quickly and correctly.
  I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.
  Show me exactly how you want something done.
  After a few lessons, I will do it automatically.

  I am the servant of all great people
  And the regret of all failures as well.
  Those who are great, I have made great.
  Those who are failures, I have made failures.

  I am not a machine but I will work with all its precision
  Plus the intelligence of a person.

  Now you may run me for profit or you may run me for ruin.
  It makes no difference to me.

  Take me, train me, be firm with me and
  I will lay the world at your feet.
  Be easy with me and I will destroy you.
  I am called Habit!

  - Author Unknown

• December 08, 2008
• 22:49

  A New Earth

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle the best selling author of The Power of Now, is one of those books whose review would best be left to the reader. If you have read it, you might know what I mean. You might also know that on Monday, March 3rd 2008, TV personality Oprah Winfrey attempted something that’s never been done before. Over 500,000 people simultaneously logged on to watch Oprah Winfrey and Eckhart Tolle lead a live interactive classroom discussion. Each Monday night for the next ten weeks, Oprah and Eckhart Tolle held meetings with people around the world to discuss A New Earth and the significance it has for each of our lives. Each weekly class corresponded to a chapter from A New Earth, with the discussion focusing on the chapter’s themes. Each class was at least one and a half hours long. You can watch or download the webcasts here. Alternatively, you may download the following torrent. If you are in Nairobi and would like a DVD copy of all the ten episodes of the webcast, contact me.

• November 21, 2008
• 5:28

  What Is In A Name, Really?

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  My Mom joined a church sometime ago that is headed by a woman who has the gift to ‘see’. And recently at the behest of my parents, I agreed to pay her a visit. When I went to her place, we had a chat and this is what she told me: that my given name ‘Njuguna’ has a curse associated with it. The reason is because of the history of the man that I am named after; my grandfather from my mother’s side. He had two wives, and my grandmother was the second. The first wife was so bitter that she consulted powers of the darkness and in the process putting a curse on all the ‘Njuguna’ that will come in the lineage of her rival. She said that the curse has the power to affect the lives of all those named ‘Njuguna’ in our family negatively. I happen to be one of them.

  And so I asked the seer, what the solution would be. And she jokingly suggested that I could change my name. But then she said that in her next fasting and prayer session, she would present the issue to God for a resolution. She also instructed me on how to pray in order to break that curse – not just for me but also for the other males names ‘Njuguna’ in the family. I did as she instructed and believed that it was done. That was about a month ago.

  A friend of mine actually changed her name some time ago. She went about it through the legal system. When I asked her the reason why she changed it, she said that because it meant ‘The one who keeps going back, or going round and round’ – which is what she believes she has been doing all her life, and which she didn’t like. That is why she changed her name to one more in line with what she wants out of life. I remember that at that time, she asked me if I knew what my name means.

  What’s in a name? I would have to say everything and nothing, depending on who you are.

• 5:05

  Walk In The Spirit

   » ‎ Cock And Bull

  I got the following story from a friend this morning. I want to share it with you:

  Today God has taken me for a walk. It all started when I asked Him questions early this morning. “Why do you not answer my prayers?” “Why are you so silent?”…questions flowed and so did my tears. Then the answers came, not the ones I wanted to hear, but they came. He told me that Monday was still days away, it was not late…that Xmas was still a month away, so why the tears?

  Then came my frustrated answer, “Because I need reassurance God that all will be well.” And he took me for a walk…..in a ‘matatu’ on my way to town.

  The first seat I took, I felt that I had to move. And so I went and sat at the back seat where I had a view of everyone. Usually I would have reasoned that I am inconveniencing others by changing seats but I didn’t. A few minutes later, a lady entered the ‘matatu’ and she was wearing a blouse similar to mine which got lost months ago. I was even convinced it was the one. It was a unique blouse and all I was thinking about was that I needed to check one little mark and confirm it was indeed mine.

  Then the voice came to me again and started a revelation by answering some of my most persistent questions to God: “How do I know that you will answer my prayers? How do I know I am not doing this in vain?”

  He told me this; “Just listen to your heart, for your mind sometimes will work against you by starting to have reasons and logic. When you pray or do something and in your heart it feels right, then it is right. There should never be reason to question your actions if they feel right in your heart. You will just know it.” And for the first time in many days, I felt that whatever I was doing was right, that He is listening to me….I felt it in my heart.

  Then came the reassurance I had asked for: He made me realize that He has our life story before we even start living it. By taking the case of the blouse, he made me see sense. When I was given the top, I had sawn it at the back using a very bright thread which was visible against its black color. And all the time I considered re-sewing it with black thread, but I did not bring myself to do it. So, that bright thread was today going to help me identify this blouse. “You see, months ago when you sew the blouse with the bright thread, you had no idea why you did it, but I did, for I knew this day would come….and this is the same way that I know your life story. You may not know why some of these things happen today this way, but they happen for your life story to be. And you should not worry, for I know your future.” As I alighted from the ‘matatu’, the blouse didn’t seem to be important anymore, for the lessons I have learnt are worth much more.

  You may not understand my point or story, but it was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. The conversation and the walk in the spirit.