Mashada Blogs » The Displaced African

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11:05

Opinions on Melbourne from Children

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'Every Immigrant Has A Story Like This'

13:03

Every Immigrant Has A Story Like This

» ‎ The Displaced African

I wrote this piece a while back and submitted it to one of the big blogs in the African blogosphere in the hopes of being published as a guest author. But alas, I felt the sting of rejection On the bright side, this piece gets published anyway ….and since there are a whole bunch of you new readers, I would like to welcome you with a tale of one of my experiences from my early days of Australian life. If you enjoy the peace, make sure you leave a comment with a little anecdote of your own.

The Battle Zone

Five weary travellers rested their behinds on the isn’t-this-a-four-star-restaurant-why-are-they-giving-us-two-star seats. It had been a tiring, but exciting day. The travellers hailed from the land known as Africa (Cradle of civilization since the dawn of time, thank you very much). They had thoroughly enjoyed their day spent walking around, gawking and poking at these weird human beings known as Australians.

Weird creatures they were. Instead of speaking with their mouth like normal people, their words seemed to come from the end of the throat. They claimed to speak the language made famous by the Queen, but for some weird reason everything that came out of their mouth sounded like

“Robo, Yobo, Yeeennooouuuu mate!”

“Mate!”

That was the only word they had heard all day and they liked it:

“Mate!”

So as their backsides rested upon the varnished wood seats and they stared in bewilderment at the excess of spoons on the table (aren’t soup and food are eaten with the same spoon?..you must transfer flavour man) a “mate” of theirs came.

The battle of the wills begins

“Hello mate!” They all crooned like an out of tune choir

“Hello!” chirped a bright eyed, black haired girl. She looked like an Amber, so let’s call her, “like so totally Amber, Oh my God!”

Hmmm, the Africans knew they needed time to balance out their need to eat with their need to save as much money as possible. So they decided in the interim that image really was nothing and thirst was everything.

The matriarch of the group, confident as an MP declaring on national television that he will beat up his colleague, stepped up to be the first to speak to future cheerleader, Amber.

“I would like some juice!”

Amber stopped stunned! I would say she looked like a deer in the headlights but in truth she looked like the deer after being hit by a car as it flew through the air wondering what just happened.

“What?”

“Oh sorry, I want some juice!”

Who knew juice could be so deadly?

Amber’s eyes rolled into the back of her head looking for some form of truth in the woman’s words but came up short. Amber decided it was time to try and speak to this weird African woman:

“Did you say you want grease?”

“Juice!”

“Feet?”

“Juice!”

“Jebeet!”

“Dear Lord!” Exclaimed the woman and in her native tongue tried to calm her family, “Don’t worry, this woman is a retard. We need to speak to her in sign language.”

And so in that moment, the family engaged in their first ever miming group performance: They lifted their hands to their mouths. End of act 1. They opened their mouths. End of Act 2 With the smoothness of an impotent Marlboro man, they concluded the act by motioning for drinks to enter their mouths.

“Juice! Juice! Juice! Ya kukunywa! Ya kunyua!Drinking! Sippy! Sippy!” They all said in an effort to get a message through to the mentally challenged girl.

Finally, success. Her eyes glowed with the magnificence of an ember of fire that was just about to die but had just sparked back to life in its final moments.

“OOOOOOOOhhhhh”

“Oooooohhhhh,” the family said, thinking it was a round song.

“You want Juuuuuusssss!”

Everyone in the family restrained their urge to speak. They saw just what the matriach was talking about: poor girl, I wonder how they allow her to work with such a debilitating condition. She couldn’t even pronounce basic words.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” They all nodded in Unison.

And to think that was all in their first day

And five minutes later, the lady brought some Juuuuuusss.

And with that ended the drama that was their fast day in this fresh new land. That episode quickly and easily made way for the drama that was still to come. Good times!

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Permalink for '8 Things I Would Like to Do Before I Do Before I Die & Meek Meek Meme'

11:05

8 Things I Would Like to Do Before I Do Before I Die & Meek Meek Meme

» ‎ The Displaced African

So, yesterday I got tagged yet again by Meek Meek from intricately me and thought that it would be cool if I could kill two meme birds with one meme stone and so here we are. Straight to it.

8 ball

8 Things I Would Like to Do Before I Die

I already covered some of this stuff when I wrote the article on my bucket list. I copped some criticism on Stumble Upon for saying I would spend my last year on Earth “working”. Yes, if this were my last year on Earth, I would still write on this blog…I would probably change the focus to more of a diary style where I chronicle stuff that I am doing to make my life and this world better, but tDA wouldn’t really go anywhere. So, here now are 8 things I would love to do before I die:

1) Use The Displaced African ( tDA ) as a Launching Pad for a Huge Project that Changes the Very Landscape of Africa

I am not using the statement “changes the very landscape of Africa” lightly. I would honestly love to die with my mural painted on walls throughout Africa because I did something that made my beautiful homeland better. Maybe restructure the socioeconomic structure of the continent, mobilize the diaspora community in a more meaningful and powerful way, change the way we immigrants relate to the homeland. I want to do something tangible to make home better.

2) Live the Four Hour Work Week Lifestyle

I have already spoken of my love for the ideas and thoughts of Tim Ferriss and his book the four hour workweek. I would love to have enough control of my time, income and mobility to be able to be able to step out of the Western rat race without suffering any consequences. I would, actually will, I’ll make it happen soon enough, use this time to:

i) Still my mind. I am of the dot com generation and I am a stimulus junkie. I want to learn how to just quiet and still my mind for long periods of time.

ii) Travel to countries like Singapore and South Korea and figure out what they did that we didn’t or what they didn’t do that we did in Africa.

8ball

3) Stay with PUAs for an Extended Period of Time

From the slightly more profound to the entirely superficial. I spent so much time studying these guys material, I want to see with my own two eyes if they live up to the hype. If I achieve number 2, this should be easy to achieve while I also achieve number 1.

4) Become a Renaissance Man

I want to make many changes to the way we think about a variety of things and want to add schools of thought to the areas of:

a) African health and nutrition

b) African immigrant’s relationship to work.

c) Sex transmutation

d) Marriage and relationships. Speaking of which:

8ball

5) Conduct In Depth Investigations into Relationships

Right now, I am absolutely fascinated with polygamy. Whereas few women will agree with me, at the moment it seems like the most sensible way for a man to be a man (i.e. with an ever wandering eye) and still do it in a manner that is not against any laws of morality or religion and maintains the dignity of society. Do polygamous marriages work better than monogamous ones? I dunno!

What is the best way for a man to nurture and love his wife? What is the best style of raising children? I want to take that, put it into a manual and put it into the African school systems. It’s way more important to most of us than understanding the distinction between celcius and Kelvin, no?

6) Be Able to Meet Anyone I Want

At the moment this is still very abstract and ambiguous and hasn’t crystallized fully but I would love to have the skill sets, resources and resourcefulness to be able to meet anyone regardless of socioeconomic status. At this time the people I want to meet are varied and include:

a) David Kobia of Mashada and Ushahidi

b) Anthony Robbins

c) Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson

d) Any high up American CEO etc etc

8ball grafiti

7) Become a World Class Dancer

If you have ever seen me dance, you know this is a goal and a half, watch this space……..

Go Seven Days Experiencing Nothing But Positive Emotions

I want to be an extremely emotionally healthy individual and so I want to see if I can go seven days experiencing nothing but positive emotions. Not with nothing bad happening but with enough mental toughness and resilience to turn any negative into positive and magnify positives.

I have hit emotional highs before and it was like I had an angel halo around my head. I want that back. Then once I know how to do this and can sustain it, put it into a manual and create an emotional health course for kids in school.

As you can see, my list, and Mo Ma’s are very Afropolitan. No desire for a lot of money, though that would be nice, or a big car, though a Tesla Roadster would hit the spot, or even a large plot of land, actually I want this too right in the middle of Central Kenya. Instead, I want to live as fulfilling a life as possible and be remembered for fulfilling other folks before I die. What about yourself?

8ball

8 of My Favorite TV Shows

And now, the meme from intricately me. I watch almost no television, BUT have realized that the only component a show needs to hook me in is for it to be about relationships. I haven’t enjoyed an Action film since Face Off, and over the course of this year I have been slowly but surely losing my male globes in favour of chick flicks and relationship themed stuff. So allow me to say it for you, I am nothing but a big girl when it comes to TV.

1) Big Love: One man + three wives = A world I have never witnessed before. Sadly, polygamy is dead in Kenya and so I have never actually seen a polygamous marriage. This program shows the highs and lows of the practice. The alternate storyline- a duel between the protagonist and his father in law-is warped but has me on the edge of my seat all the time because I never know what’s going to happen.

2) Keys to the VIP: Two men compete to see who can pick up girls in a bar. My mother got her Masters Degree while we were in Oz. She studied alongside people from everywhere including the States. She said that one problem she kept running into with Americans was regardless of whether they could do something or not, they would talk a big game. I don’t disagree with this approach to life per se, though I dislike it when people then become condescending without any substance to back that up, but this show proves my mother’s point quite well.

8ball

3) Frasier: As I type this, the final episode of Frasier is playing in the next room. I loved the moments when Frasier and Niles would begin having pretentious debates about the underlying psychological elements that were driving their strange behavior. A psyche junkie like myself lives for those moments.

4) Friends: I will probably over time come to stop watching this show because I realized I am not a fan of their values at all. They approach every relationship from a “what can you bring to me” and “how can you make me feel” mentality which I hope to never bring to meaningful relationships. But, they talk about relationships and all the way to the end, the Ross and Rachel thing kept me on the edge of my seat.

5) Kevin Hill: Something I love more than shows about relationships is shows about African Americans and their relationships. Check out the article I wrote on 7 Movie Classics for a sample.

6) Wrestling: Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson is hands down the best performer I have ever seen perform live in front of audiences. His character the Rock talks an excess of BS, but the way he delivers, his creativity, playfulness, sexual innuendo and the way has the crowds eating out the palm of his hand has made me a wrestling fanatic ever since. There are also some folks like the late Eddie Guerrero, Kurt Angle and the my-goodness-this-one-must-get-eaten-alive-by-women Kofi Kingston who are exceptional at making the fake sport look so real and compelling in the ring.

7) Human Weapon: I only watched one episode but I loved the way it was done. Two Americans go around the world trying out different fighting styles and understanding them, before engaging in battle with one of the masters of the art. Gives you great insight into the various martial arts. My father should have taken me to karate as a child instead of lying to me that he would….

Pretty Woman: Yes it’s a movie but I couldn’t include it on the 7 movie classics for lack of space. I liked this movie, haven’t seen it in a few years but I really liked this one. Julia Roberts just has this glow about her whenever she was the leading lady in romantic comedies.

8 ball

Finally: Feeling Blessed

Do you have those things that you have done for a long time, in my case about five years, without being fully able to describe what you were doing? And the one day, you find someone who puts it beautifully. That is the case when I read this article entitled Feeling Blessed.

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12:04

The Afropolitan in You

» ‎ The Displaced African

Hello,

You know this article applies almost exactly to me. Though at present I am not a very big fan of esoteric or linguistically complex and philosophical pieces of writing, i.e. I like to dumb things down and like people who do the same, I can’t deny that this piece is introducing an idea that’s definitely one that’s worth thinking about and exploring through more pieces of writing, books, films etc. People like us African immigrants are an entirely unique entity unto ourselves and its time we began talking about our Afropolitan nature. Enjoy!

NB: I have quoted text from this blog post verbatim

What exactly is an “Afropolitan”?

Taiye Tuakli-Wosornu’s piece, pretty much inspired the very creation of this blog.

Bye-Bye Babar

by Taiye Tuakli-Wosornu

It’s moments to midnight on Thursday night at Medicine Bar in London. Zak,
boy-genius DJ, is spinning a Fela Kuti remix. The little downstairs
dancefloor swells with smiling, sweating men and women fusing hip-hop
dance moves with a funky sort of djembe. The women show off enormous
afros, tiny t-shirts, gaps in teeth; the men those incredible torsos
unique to and common on African coastlines. The whole scene speaks of
the Cultural Hybrid: kente cloth worn over low-waisted jeans; ‘African
Lady’ over Ludacris bass lines; London meets Lagos meets Durban meets
Dakar. Even the DJ is an ethnic fusion: Nigerian and Romanian; fair,
fearless leader; bobbing his head as the crowd reacts to a sample of
‘Sweet Mother’.

Were you to ask any of these beautiful, brown-skinned people that
basic question – ‘where are you from?’ – you’d get no single answer
from a single smiling dancer. This one lives in London but was raised
in Toronto and born in Accra; that one works in Lagos but grew up in
Houston, Texas. ‘Home’ for this lot is many things: where their parents
are from; where they go for vacation; where they went to school; where
they see old friends; where they live (or live this year). Like so many
African young people working and living in cities around the globe,
they belong to no single geography, but feel at home in many.

They (read: we) are Afropolitans – the newest generation of African
emigrants, coming soon or collected already at a law firm/chem lab/jazz
lounge near you. You’ll know us by our funny blend of London fashion,
New York jargon, African ethics, and academic successes. Some of us are
ethnic mixes, e.g. Ghanaian and Canadian, Nigerian and Swiss; others
merely cultural mutts: American accent, European affect, African ethos.
Most of us are multilingual: in addition to English and a Romantic or
two, we understand some indigenous tongue and speak a few urban
vernaculars. There is at least one place on The African Continent to
which we tie our sense of self: be it a nation-state (Ethiopia), a city
(Ibadan), or an auntie’s kitchen. Then there’s the G8 city or two (or
three) that we know like the backs of our hands, and the various
institutions that know us for our famed focus. We are Afropolitans: not
citizens, but Africans of the world.

It isn’t hard to trace our genealogy. Starting in the 60’s, the
young, gifted and broke left Africa in pursuit of higher education and
happiness abroad. A study conducted in 1999 estimated that between 1960
and 1975 around 27,000 highly skilled Africans left the Continent for
the West. Between 1975 and 1984, the number shot to 40,000 and then
doubled again by 1987, representing about 30% of Africa’s highly
skilled manpower. Unsurprisingly, the most popular destinations for
these emigrants included Canada, Britain, and the United States; but
Cold War politics produced unlikely scholarship opportunities in
Eastern Bloc countries like Poland, as well.

Some three decades later this scattered tribe of pharmacists,
physicists, physicians (and the odd polygamist) has set up camp around
the globe. The caricatures are familiar. The Nigerian physics professor
with faux-Coogi sweater; the Kenyan marathonist with long legs and
rolled r’s; the heavyset Gambian braiding hair in a house that smells
of burnt Kanekalon. Even those unacquainted with synthetic extensions
can conjure an image of the African immigrant with only the slightest
of pop culture promptings: Eddie Murphy’s ‘Hello, Barbar.’ But
somewhere between the 1988 release of Coming to America and the 2001
crowning of a Nigerian Miss World, the general image of young Africans
in the West transmorphed from goofy to gorgeous. Leaving off the
painful question of cultural condescenscion in that beloved film, one
wonders what happened in the years between Prince Akeem and Queen
Agbani?

One answer is: adolescence. The Africans that left Africa between
1960 and 1975 had children, and most overseas. Some of us were bred on
African shores then shipped to the West for higher education; others
born in much colder climates and sent home for cultural
re-indoctrination. Either way, we spent the 80’s chasing after
accolades, eating fufu at family parties, and listening to adults argue
politics. By the turn of the century (the recent one), we were matching
our parents in number of degrees, and/or achieving things our ‘people’
in the grand sense only dreamed of. This new demographic – dispersed
across Brixton, Bethesda, Boston, Berlin – has come of age in the 21st
century, redefining what it means to be African. Where our parents
sought safety in traditional professions like doctoring, lawyering,
banking, engineering, we are branching into fields like media,
politics, music, venture capital, design. Nor are we shy about
expressing our African influences (such as they are) in our work.
Artists such as Keziah Jones, Trace founder and editor Claude
Gruzintsky, architect David Adjaye, novelist Chimamanda Achidie – all
exemplify what Gruzintsky calls the ’21st century African.’

What distinguishes this lot and its like (in the West and at home) is a
willingness to complicate Africa – namely, to engage with, critique,
and celebrate the parts of Africa that mean most to them. Perhaps what
most typifies the Afropolitan consciousness is the refusal to
oversimplify; the effort to understand what is ailing in Africa
alongside the desire to honor what is wonderful, unique. Rather than
essentialising the geographical entity, we seek to comprehend the
cultural complexity; to honor the intellectual and spiritual legacy;
and to sustain our parents’ cultures.

For us, being African must mean something. The media’s portrayals
(war, hunger) won’t do. Neither will the New World trope of bumbling,
blue-black doctor. Most of us grew up aware of ‘being from’ a blighted
place, of having last names from to countries which are linked to lack,
corruption. Few of us escaped those nasty ‘booty-scratcher’ epithets,
and fewer still that sense of shame when visting paternal villages.
Whether we were ashamed of ourselves for not knowing more about our
parents’ culture, or ashamed of that culture for not being more
‘advanced’ can be unclear. What is manifest is the extent to which the
modern adolescent African is tasked to forge a sense of self from
wildly disparate sources. You’d never know it looking at those dapper
lawyers in global firms, but most were once supremely self-conscious of
being so ‘in between’. Brown-skinned without a bedrock sense of
‘blackness,’ on the one hand; and often teased by African family
members for ‘acting white’ on the other – the baby-Afropolitan can get
what I call ‘lost in transnation’.

Ultimately, the Afropolitan must form an identity along at least
three dimensions: national, racial, cultural – with subtle tensions in
between. While our parents can claim one country as home, we must
define our relationship to the places we live; how British or American
we are (or act) is in part a matter of affect. Often unconsciously, and
over time, we choose which bits of a national identity (from passport
to pronunciation) we internalize as central to our personalities. So,
too, the way we see our race – whether black or biracial or none of the
above – is a question of politics, rather than pigment; not all of us
claim to be black. Often this relates to the way we were raised,
whether proximate to other brown people (e.g. black Americans) or
removed. Finally, how we conceive of race will accord with where we
locate ourselves in the history that produced ‘blackness’ and the
political processes that continue to shape it.

Then there is that deep abyss of Culture, ill-defined at best. One
must decide what comprises ‘African culture’ beyond pepper soup and
filial piety. The project can be utterly baffling – whether one lives
in an African country or not. But the process is enriching, in that it
expands one’s basic perspective on nation and selfhood. If nothing
else, the Afropolitan knows that nothing is neatly black or white; that
to ‘be’ anything is a matter of being sure of who you are uniquely. To
‘be’ Nigerian is to belong to a passionate nation; to be Yoruba, to be
heir to a spiritual depth; to be American, to ascribe to a cultural
breadth; to be British, to pass customs quickly. That is, this is what
it means for me – and that is the Afropolitan privilege. The acceptance
of complexity common to most African cultures is not lost on her
prodigals. Without that intrinsically multi-dimensional thinking, we
could not make sense of ourselves.

And if it all sounds a little self-congratulatory, a little
‘aren’t-we-the-coolest-damn-people-on-earth?’ – I say: yes it is,
necessarily. It is high time the African stood up. There is nothing
perfect in this formulation; for all our Adjayes and Achidies, there is
a brain drain back home. Most Afropolitans could serve Africa better in
Africa than at Medicine Bar on Thursdays. To be fair, a fair number of
African professionals are returning; and there is consciousness among
the ones who remain, an acute awareness among this brood of
too-cool-for-schools that there’s work to be done. There are those
among us who wonder to the point of weeping: where next, Africa? When
will the scattered tribes return? When will the talent repatriate? What
lifestyles await young professionals at home? How to invest in Africa’s
future? The prospects can seem grim at times. The answers aren’t
forthcoming. But if there was ever a group who could figure it out, it
is this one, unafraid of the questions.

To hear more from the Afropolitan blogger known as Mwangi, make sure you stay subscribed to the Displaced African via RSS or email.

Permalink for '8 Things I Am Passionate About (The Mo Ma Meme) and Obama'

12:04

8 Things I Am Passionate About (The Mo Ma Meme) and Obama

» ‎ The Displaced African

Hey,
I have been tagged by Mo Ma. So I thought that with Mo Ma’s permission, rather than answering all the questions in the “Meme Mo Ma” (brilliant branding) at once, I would spread it out over time and discuss different elements of it. I begin with……

Number 8

Eight Things for Which I Have a Passion

1) Women: The only thing on the list that I have loved, hated, feared, not understood, fully understood, cared for, been hated by, been loved by, lusted after and been lusted after all in a brief lifetime. Women are not just a dichotomy, y’all are a eight-cotomy (I was too lazy to Google it, what is it an octocotomy, is there a word for this situation?) with more sides than a sphere (the illogical nature of that statement is deliberate ). Not understanding the female side of humanity in my early years is part of the reason that I fell in love with:

2) Psychology: From the moment I heard that Psychology was taught in high school in Oz, something just switched on in my mind. I loved this idea that all our behaviour is driven by underlying principles and isn’t just based on random elements. Ultimately though, I love understanding psychology because it gives one:

Eight

3) Control:One of the results of living in a capitalist world is that anytime we investigate something we seem to do it either to use it to our own ends, control it or both. I never ever want to be at the mercy or the beck and call of anyone and want to be one of those people who will determine where I go, what I do and who I do it with. As a result I always:

4) Question Things: I love Timothy Ferriss, Erwin Mcmanus, Noam Chomsky, Steve Biko, Malcolm X and Tony Robbins basically for the same reasons (among other things). They act as points of contrast to the norm. They are living proof that there is success to be had and pleasure to be derived from living outside of what is normal. As a result of their existence I question everything (”Why does a company need to continue pursuing profit-which is basically excess after everything’s been paid off-when it’s reached an all time high in profit and all its workers are well paid?” or “Why do I go to school?” or “Why do I read books?”). Needless to say that this makes me:

Eight

5) Different:I love to be a mirror that forever reminds people that there are alternative ways to do things and be. My hope is that over the course of this blog, I will uncover and discover new schools of thought and bring something new to this African immigrant design. Aah and who can forget:

6) The Displaced African: For the 14 or so hours I am awake, I think about this blog for 12 of those. To be honest I am still not 100% sure where I am taking this blog, but I have many ideas that I want to test out and my hope is that this blog at some point will become THE GO TO PLACE for some element of the immigrant experience and hopefully this will make me:

Number 8

7) Guru/Teacher:This occurs much more in the offline world than online (though I’m receiving quite a few, “give me advice” emails nowadays, thanks to the folks who’ve sent them). I love to give people advice and motivate and challenge them. I study so much success literature and self-help stuff that I am always looking for an opportunity to give advice. Yesterday someone asked me for advice on Internet marketing and I literally typed out a 3 page answer to three sentence questions. At some point I want to get paid for helping people change their lives for the better and if I live to old age I want to become a village elder or lecturer….move the passion I have in me to other folk. Finally I love:

8 ) Performance and Public Speaking:Entertaining folks just comes easy to me. I love being on stage, I love talking to and entertaining folks when I first meet them, I love telling and writing stories. Anything that involves my making other people feel something, I love to do and think I do in a semi-descent manner.

Enough About Me

What are you passionate about? What excites you about this life? Leave some comments below and let me know.

Eight

Eight People Who Should Do This Meme
I will link to Mo Ma’s original meme so that folks know what format to follow. I am really looking forward to seeing what folks come up with:
1) R from What an African woman thinks
2) Jim from Kenyan Zone
3) Tony (namesake) from Naija Ecash
4) Gal Africana from a search for sanity
5) Seinlife
6) Mzeiya (You have to start a free wordpress blog man)
7) Julia from Relationship checkup
8 ) akiey

Alright folks, I’ll end that one there. To be frank it’s always love-hate when I write posts about myself…I am human and I do love talking about myself BUT I always feel guilty when I write something that am not sure will help, so feedback as always is appreciated.

Who are Eight Minutes You Ask?

I searched for something to do with the number 8 on Youtube and here are the results

I End with Barrack Obama

First of all huge congratulations to Obama and all minorities and marginalized people in the States for moving a step closer to a race-neutral society. Every once in a while I write something which makes folks stop by and call me stupid, naive, silly, idiot, spawn of Satan etc etc and one of the articles that caused quite a bit of controversy was the article I wrote the Empty Symbol that is Barrack Obama. Anyway, this Daily Nation article doesn’t say exactly what I said, but still has the same conclusion: Obama doesn’t exist for our interests and so let’s not invest too much in him,even emotionally. He isn’t ours.

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Enjoy meme-ing away,
Mwangi

Permalink for 'Sex Talk with Ekene Agabu'

12:04

Sex Talk with Ekene Agabu

» ‎ The Displaced African

I just completed my first ever, podcast interview and it was with speaker and author, Ekene Agabu. I first discovered Ekene via the blog, Nigerian Curiosity where he was interviewed on his opinions regarding polygamy in Nigeria.

He is a professional speaker in Baltimore, where for between 2 - 4,000 he speaks on responsible sexuality. From what I could gather, he is going to be releasing some mainstream pieces of writing in the very near future.

First-Time-Interviewer-Jitters

I was quite nervous, as you can tell in the recording, but Ekene was a fantastic guest because he was very short, sweet and to the point. Very intelligent, purpose driven guy.

The Interview

Some of the things discussed:

1) Who he is and what he does including his background and how he became a speaker.

2) His journey to speaking about sexuality.

3) How would society look if he achieved his objective?

4) What is the purpose of family?

5) Powerful changes in mindset and thinking when it comes to sexuality.

6) Message to boys on the African continent and much more…….

The Main Thing I Took Away from the Interview was….

The importance of knowing your desired outcome. Before engaging in anything, ask yourself,

Why am I doing this? What am I hoping to achieve or get out of it?

And then ask yourself:

Will doing this get me to where I want to be?

It was definitely interesting the way Ekene advised people, before succumbing to the overwhelming urges to simply ask themselves:

Will I desire the consequences of what I am about to do?

Sex Transmutation

In my humble opinion, as a society, we still have not delved deeply enough into understanding, investigating and practicing the art of redirecting sexual energy . It is briefly touched on everywhere from Think and Grow Rich,this interview, to your local church but I think we definitely need to put together How tos and step by step guides for men all over to understand how to harness this powerful force.

Displaced African Podcast is Now on Itunes

If you want to receive the latest podcasts, from the Displaced African, then you can subscribe to recieve podcasts via Itunes (download Itunes if you don’t have it, it’s a great free software) by clicking on the link below:

Subscribe to the Displaced African Podcast

or

By going to the Itunes store and searching for “Displaced African”

If you need help figuring any of this out just leave a comment or contact me.

Hope you all enjoy the podcast and thanks to Ekene,

Mwangi

PS: Lest we forget that tragedies often bring out the best in humanity too

Permalink for 'The Only Thing People Saved by the Blood of the Lamb Have to Worry About'

11:05

The Only Thing People Saved by the Blood of the Lamb Have to Worry About

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'Opinions on Melbourne From a New Student'

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Opinions on Melbourne From a New Student

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'What Did You Want to Be When You Grow Up?'

12:04

What Did You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

» ‎ The Displaced African

Doctor

The Difference That Geography Makes: Part One

I remember sitting in a high school class somewhere in Kenya, some moment in time. There were about 80 of us. Our mission was simple: say what we wanted to be when we grew up. As we neared student number 30, one would have thought we were listening listening to a song that had the same beat repeated over and over and over again:

Doctor

Lawyer

Pilot

Doctor

Lawyer

Pilot

These were some of the most brilliant minds in the country (well, we were only the best in my first year there but we were always in the top 10..er….er…so the 10th most brilliant minds)

Finally it was my time to shine! I put the biggest grin I could on my face and said with pride:

Music producer.

“Idiot,”, must have been my nickname for quite a while afterwards.

Court house

Different Geography, Same People: Part two

I used to have a running script that I used to repeat over and over again whenever I met a new college student from the continent. I would think to myself:

“So, are you going to school to work in business, law, finance or to eventually work for some NGO?”

Whenever I met someone who did not fit into those categories, I would get very confused. Surely, there can only be one person who exists outside of the bell curve?

Then I would get very intimidated? You’re taking my spot.

Then I would fall in love? You’re abnormal like I am.

Seriously though, it’s remarkable how now many years later, the career paths that Africans chose can actually be recited by heart and described with such clarity:

A professional who has to wear some uniform or a suit of some sort. He/She wants to be relatively high up in the hierarchy but don’t want to be the ones who did all the grunt work to build it up. He wants a fancy job title with a fantastic salary that gives him a big house, a big car and the respect and love of his community as a “boss man/boss lady!” or ” they just want to make that paper paper paper paper”

Different Geography, Different People: Part Three

I didn’t even know some careers existed or were worth pursuing until I came down under.

“I want to be a sparky! (electrician)”

“I want to open my own brothel ! The licence costs half a mil but its still worth a go!”

“I want to make movies”

“I want to be a zookeeper”

“I want to be a park ranger”

“I want to be a drummer”

“I want to be a comic book penciler”

“I want to be a professional poker player”

The weirdest one of all, post high school, a HUGE chunk of Australians decide either before or during semester one of University that they want to:

“Take some time off, go backpacking and discover me!”

Now granted, discover me usually means go and have sex, drugs and rock and roll with a lot of foreign strangers but that concept of a “gap year” is blasphemy in Africa even among wealthy and middle class families.

Backpackers

What Does That Say About Us and About Them?

I think at the end of the day it says that human beings are smart creatures. We adapt to whatever circumstances and whatever roll of the dice God or this life gives us.

In Africa, most people can’t afford to take a gap year because they have no safety nets, or rather welfare nets, to support them in those years.

In the West folks can afford to go round the world sipping from goon bags and swapping spit with locals only to come back and open a costume shop because those who came before him fought for him to have those rights.

Some want to be professional gamblers

Today’s Lesson

The only thing I implore you is don’t assume that other people’s rules are your own. The limitations that you have in occupation aren’t necessarily the same ones your father had or your sister has or your best friend has. Get to know you, what your passionate about, what you can do well and where you can have the biggest impact. Go there. Please don’t be a robot. We already have enough of those.

I end by asking:

So what do you want to be when you grow up? Why?

Are you becoming who you wanted to be when you grew up?

What does that say about you?

To explore the human condition across cultures some more, stay on the email list or the RSS feed reader list.

Be blessed and bless other people all around ya,

Mwangi

Permalink for 'Is African Writing Really That Bad? Some Ideas For Being a Good Writer'

12:04

Is African Writing Really That Bad? Some Ideas For Being a Good Writer

» ‎ The Displaced African

Pencils

First of all, if you are an immigrant of high school age and you are reading this welcome. As I often say, I wish this was the blog I wish I had found, or at least something similar, when I first showed up in an Australian high school so anything I can do to make you feel at home let me know.

Compositions

As a lot of you know I grew up in the city in the sun, Nairobi, Kenya. All throughout my primary school days, Stnadard 1 - 8, one thing remained consistent: I was one of the best composition writers. For those who don’t know, compositions are basically short fictional stories which were assessed by the English teacher.

The Rules of Writing Compositions in Kenya

The rules to writing a composition in Kenya were quite simple really:

a) Use language that is as flowery,complex and grandiloquent (but do I say?) as possible.

b) Use metaphors, similies, proverbs and other linguistic tools that show you have read a book or two in your life more than you use regular language.

If you managed to follow the above two rules and piece together a somewhat coherent narrative, you were good to go.

Adapted from Shakespeare believe it or not

The Story That Got Told Over and Over Again

Towards my final years of primary school, we used to write compositions quite a lot. When it was all said and done however, I realized that I had told the same story over and over and over again.

I was attacked by a crazy/large/robber/stupid man and I somehow had to fight to survive.

In spite of the fact that Mrs. C (who by the way called herself a very “Hot Naabaa,” not hot number, “Hot Naabaa”, much love and thanks Mrs. C if you are reading this.) read the same story so many times, each time I managed to twist it into a slightly different version of something worth giving a high mark.

As a Result

All this basically meant that I left Primary school with the medal for English around my neck and a perfect score in English once the main exams came (how that happened, I don’t know, but I don’t kick a gift horse in the mouth).

My Kenyan High School Career…….

My Kenyan high school career was somewhat different. I went from being one of the brightest minds in primary school to having the intelligence of a mutilated cinder block. I thought this had affected me in many areas, science, maths etc etc but somehow I held on to the belief that I was still a good writer.

Western writing

A Plane Ride Later My World Came a Crumbling Down

Australian high schools typically don’t involve a lot of creative writing and so it wasn’t until Year 12 that I had to write a story to show to my English as a Second Language (ESL) Teacher. The little ditty began like this:

I threw the stone as quick as lightning and it hit him with a blood curdling thud! As the blood leaked profusely from his eye, he let out a great big bellow like a wounded she-bear. And then he cast his gaze upon me, and as I looked into his eyes, they glowed with the malevolence of a dyeing ember (stolen expression that I used A LOT)

I galloped over to Mrs G., my ESL teacher (much love to you too, if you are reading this) and Mrs. G didn’t even bother mincing her words:

This story is terrible, it’s such a cliche!

An African Description of What Happened Next

My heart sunk lower than the Titanic. My breathing stopped and my heart began to beat at a million miles per hour.

“How could she think that was terrible,” I mused….as I perused……confused…….feeling somewhat abused

Books

Creative Writing Class 2006

Needless to say I put a lot of writing activities on the shelf for the next few years trading creative writing for creating feasibility studies, marketing plans and business manifestos. And then in 2006 I did something I probably shouldn’t have done: I did only one subject for a whole University semester: creative writing.

I Loved It

What I realized was that, Western writing had long since passed the point of using cliched metaphors, proverbs and similies. We were literally teaching and being taught the left overs of Western thinking.

Twelve weeks of Creative writing and never did we have lessons on the proper use of a similie, or where to sprinkle in clever sounding proverbs. Instead we learned things like the lesson I’ll share with you below:

iceberg

Ice Berg Writing

Whenever you write, your words should only express 10% of what’s going on with the other 90% being left beneath the surface in sub-text. In other words, the prose should only be the tip of the iceberg. An example:

The lipstick red dress continued to saunter and shimmy long after Nicole had stopped gliding across the room.

“Excuse me sir,” she purred ,” The Johnsons are here!”

“Thank you, Marta,” he barked from behind clenched cheeks.

“You are very welcome sir. Do you need anything else from me?”

” No, you may leave!”

And Sade crooned in the background as she smoothly operated her way out of that room.

He let out a sigh and prepared himself…….the Johnsons were here!

Well, I am not that good at iceberg writing but clearly there are quite a few things that one can infer from the above, including the character’s personalities and relationships to each other.

It’s more fun for one to infer these things in one’s mind than for me to blatantly say she dressed up to seduce her boss and she was making her boss very uncomfortable.

Betty Boop

Is There a Point to All This?

The point of all this, is simple really. Realize if you are coming from Africa, that the way we were taught to write is based on a way of writing that Westerners have long since left behind.

Why This is Great for You

This is great for you because in its place Westerners now have an absolute love and appreciation for the individual voice in a piece of writing. They want to hear what you, the authentic, uncensored you has to say.

In Creative writing class, I wrote a ridiculous number of stories about sex and romance because that’s what I thought about most of the time. My writing was full of swearing, breaking of grammatical rules but I was still did pretty well in that class.

On the other end we had my buddy Raj was great at writing things in a I-just-took-a-hallucinogenic-drug-style. He could make you appreciate every moment of an experience and really pull you into a point of view.

What is Your Uncensored Voice?

So what is your uncensored voice? What does it sound and taste like? What would you say if you had no fear of failure? Express yourself below.

To learn about some of the other stuff I have learned from my life abroad, subscribe via RSS or email.

Mwangi

Express yourself

Permalink for '7 Pieces of the Puzzle that Africa Has'

12:29

7 Pieces of the Puzzle that Africa Has

» ‎ The Displaced African

As you will probably notice I am currently in the process of creating my email newsletter. It is going to be the latest permanent addition to this little blog so any advice on how to make my email newsletter better is very appreciated….oh and of course join it :). To today’s program:

Greetings, salutations and hello. Today’s article is a special treat for me and hopefully for you. It is yet another post that pretty much evolved over the course of a day as opposed to a preplanned article, which is always very very cool.

So a few months ago I was visiting this elderly couple in Country Victoria. In their home, which is absolutely gorgeous for a 100 year old house, they had this puzzle: The puzzle was a mix between a rubix cube and a jigsaw puzzle. You get a cube that is open on one end, a bunch of haphazardly shaped wooden pieces and you are basically meant to fit all those pieces perfectly into the box.

As our brains sweat through the task, someone suggested that I should write a blog post about the puzzle. I thought to myself:

” I own the Displaced African domain, so why not?!”

Today I thought I would share with you 7 elements that I believe that Africa has that are far from being used to their maximum effect. These are 7 elements that we can use to take Africa from the gutter that we currently are in, all the way to the stars and beyond. Without further ado, they are:

1) Pain and Suffering

We have had a recent history filled with nothing but tragedy after tragedy. But we do not use tragedy to move our country forward. When Kenya was bombed in 1998, the reaction of our country was far different to that of the States. The US has mourned, established memorials, investigated 9/11 to the littlest detail, had all media talking about 9/11 and it’s implications, made movies, wrote books, got think tanks working overtime, used it as justification to go protect their interests overseas etc etc etc

They basically did everything imaginable to not only ensure it never happens again, but they emerge stronger as a result. Pain and suffering a lot of the time can be the greatest motivation to get to work and make the world a better place. In Africa we have more than enough to motivate us. Sadly a lot of the time we direct it at each other instead of at solving the root cause of the problem as is the case in South Africa at the moment.

2) Cultural Richness

I have spoken about this many many many times but we really should have had a discussion as a society, post colonialism about how we’d handle some of the important parts of the human experience including the only thing that comes guaranteed with life: death.

In my humble opinion, the way some African cultures handled death was grossly superior to the Western ways we inherited of handling death. The Ashanti didn’t mourn death but viewed it as an inevitable part of life. The Luo people keep the corpse in the dead person’s home and hire professional wailers and mourners to ensure that all the grieving that needs to be done is done as soon as possible. During this time, any debts or scores of the deceased that need to be settled are settled as everyone in the community is given a chance to come and speak to the family members. And then to ensure that, if its a man, his wife and children are taken care of, a member of the family takes the wife and children into his home.

To me, there are a lot of things in those two approaches that strike me as a very healthy way of viewing death. We had a lot of customs and traditions from 1000s of tribes in Africa that were clearly working for a certain period of time…foolish is the man who doesn’t learn or even bother examining his past.

3) Work Ethic

It doesn’t matter where you go or who you speak to, nine times out of 10, Africans are praised for our ability to work and work very hard. That’s why you almost never hear of African people who immigrate overseas and end up poor, destitute and/or homeless. Caught up in the rat race? perhaps. Living beyond their means? perhaps. But Africans tend to work themselves like work horses regardless.

Sure we have our fair share of lazy folk, but we have enough hard workers that it counts.

4) Natural Resources

Say what you will, but Africa is the richest natural resource on Earth. The Scramble for Africa took place because the colonial barbarians kept drooling at just how resource rich our continent was. Needless to say, Africa is currently being exploited and stripped and robbed at an exponential pace. BUT, we still have enough natural resources that it counts.

5) Educated People

Africa is one of those odd places on Earth where you will find people with Masters degrees walking the streets daily in search of work. As I have shared in the past, we love us some degrees and advanced degrees and it’s knocked into our heads from a very young age that no one goes to success but by Bachelor.

This has resulted in about two or three generations of extremely well trained, academically intelligent people of colour. If we could put all the African brains all over the world into a brain trust, it would probably be the wealthiest brain trust around.

6) Young People

Young people can have two things that make them the most powerful forces known to man:

a) A sense of infinite possibility and a belief that we can bring them to life.

b) No sense of shame.

A lot of people look at point b) as though it’s a negative. I think it’s ridiculously powerful. Sometimes when I get in the train and look at Sudanese teenagers who are acting a fool I think to myself:

These people genuinely don’t care what people think about them. They will act however they want without any fear whatsoever of its social consequences. Can you imagine if they put this lack of inhibition and thick skins to constructive use?

It’s no secret that to cause massive changes or bring something new to society you need a thick skin. As Tony Robbins once said, when a new idea comes into society,

First it’s ridiculed and chastised. Then it’s violently opposed. And then it’s accepted as truth that was dismissed by crazy people.

Take points a) and b) above, mix them together and you see why so many of the great movements had young people in them.

7) People in the Diaspora

I think I have discussed this one and will continue to discuss if for a very long time and so I see no need to go over it because while reading some of the above points, I know you have seen some of the ways, we in the diaspora can be a powerful force for good.

So what we will do with this power, is entirely up to us, but make no mistake about it, the power is there.

There you have it, seven things that I believe that Africa has going for it.

To stay a part of the conversations in the Displaced African, please stay a part of the email list or add the Displaced African to your feed reader.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

12:04

Mwangi’s Youtube Debut, Africa’s Brain Drain and Brain Circulation

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Being Fashionable'

12:04

Stuff African People Like: Being Fashionable

» ‎ The Displaced African

Fashionable sista

Fashionistas are not the brightest people on Earth. Don’t they realize how much of their business comes from Nairobi, Jo’burg and Lagos alone. If they did, they would probably fly over the sub-Saharan continent on the way to Milan to show love to people who clearly love them.

It’s not simply clothing for us. It accomplishes the same things that money, degrees and money do: they make one African feel better than the other. And ultimately this is powerful to the African person.

If someone’s neighbour decides that Louis Vitton is the way to go. Watch out because soon she will not only have Louis Vitton hairbands but also Jimmy Choo shoes and Prada braces.

If it gets to the point where every inch of someone’s body is clearly adorned with show off pieces of Western branding then one can always revert to the default of “Africa themed attire” and accuse their competitor of pandering to Westernization while you are “keeping it real”. As long as my clothes are better than yours

It is remarkable how in spite of so many variations of “fashionable” there are within the fashion continent, some things remain so remarkably consistent. Therefore should you want to know whether an African is a fashionable one or not, look out for the following:

a) The shoes must match the belt (this one is set in stone and is Commandment number 11)

b) The hair must be as unnatural as possible. Simply combing it and not leaving it to grow wild is a great start. The more synthetic the process the better (The first person to read about the disciples having tongues of fire burning their head must have thought they were reading the story of an African at the saloon).

c) Every man and woman must have a work suit, after all how else can they get advanced degrees, climb up the corporate ladder and make bucket-loads of money to put bird’s nests on their head if they don’t have it.

d) Wearing natural hair ALL the time is the choice of only the misguided.

Remember, if the clothes or the hair cost some money, you insult or mock them at your own peril. Keep the above tips in mind and you should be fine.

To stay wrapped in the fabric of the African experience, make sure you return here for the next installment of Stuff African People Like via either your inbox or your feed reader.

Permalink for 'The Cornerstone of Succesful, Long Lasting Marriages?!'

12:13

The Cornerstone of Succesful, Long Lasting Marriages?!

» ‎ The Displaced African

Samurai cake dolls

It will take me some time to get to my point so bear with me. For quite a few years now I have been fascinated with understanding relationships. Even though I am still in the stage of life where I am pretty much a wholesale seed distributor, I have always loved to reflect on, study and understand relationships that work and work for a really long time.

Long Distances and Mashada

So, anyway, one day I ended up on the popular message board Mashada quite distraught. There had been two long distance relationships I had looked at and thought to myself:

They will go the distance those ones. They’ll make it.

Typically when people in their 20s show up in the diaspora and say they are in a long distance relationship, I think of it at the very least as a joke and at the very most as an exchange of physical pleasure and flattery every so often, though when apart from one another, everyone and everything is fair game.

But not these two. Allow me to explain.

Relationship Number 1

They were both in their late 20s. They had both long since put the fun and nonsense that is high school and University behind them (point one for them). She was abroad pursuing her Masters and he was back in Africa holding down the fort.

When she spoke of him one could see that they clearly had a deep friendship and their relationship wasn’t just based on some superficial attraction (point two for them). She is a woman and she is abroad, and so of course African men jumped on her like chaff on Velcro. For a good year or so, the two men who had put forth the most consistent effort were consistently being shut down in spite of their clear charm (point three for them).

A Small Crack in the Ceiling

But alas one of them one evening managed to get her in a room for a game of tonsil hockey which was unfortunately interrupted midway. As soon as the interruption took place, the woman sped out of that room and we all thought that was all she wrote.

Six Months Later

Fast forward six months later and both of these men got what they wanted from her in spite of the fact that she had a chance to go back to Africa and visit her guy.

Relationship Number 2

She was quite young, still of college age, but she was the quintessential woman of faith (point number one for them). She admitted that once someone had her, he had her for life (point two for them) and that was pretty much her intention with her significant other.

No one has come between them, but the fellow who is also pretty young (point one against) has ended the relationship by trying to let her down easy. I won’t go into too much detail, all I will say is it took me by quite some surprise just how quickly it ended.

Right Back to Mashada

So anyway I end up on Mashada and I decide to ask folk:

Do these long distance relationships ever work?

Now of course a lot of you already know the answer that 9 times out of 10, especially when we are talking about people in their 20s they don’t work BUT out of that discussion something came up that I thought was definitely worth discussing.

Are Family and Community the Cornerstones of Succesful and Long Lasting Relationships?

You’ve all watched the TV shows where someone takes their partner to their parent’s home and the parents totally disapprove of him or her. In a moment of defiance, the person will normally grab their partner tight, leer at his or her parents and say something to the extent of:

Well she’s not marrying you. She’s marrying me and I love her. So regardless of whether you approve of this marriage or support it, we’ll get married anyway.

And then they walk of hand in hand to face the world together: Just the two of them and their love.

Is that a Huge Mistake?

In Australia we have this tabloid type program that’s very popular called a Current Affair. Sometime ago they had a special on Indian arranged marriages where they were trying to explore why Indian marriages last so much longer than typical Western marriages that are basically like Russian roulette with a 50/50 chance.

One of the things that came out of that is someone said:

In an arranged marriage, one isn’t simply marrying a person, they are marrying their family (or clan or community).

That got me to thinking….weren’t traditional marriages exactly the same and didn’t they also have the ridiculously low divorce and run away rates?

Accountability and Committment

I am just speculating based on the limited information I have but I think what it ultimately boils down too is when you marry or form a relationship with someone’s family or community instead of just them you have made a committment and are accountable to a lot more people.

Compare this with the typical love relationship where one is usually not even answerable to their spouse but instead to their feelings. How can we possibly expect to build a long lasting relationship or commit to anything long term simply on the basis of how we feel when we are so damn capricious as human beings? (I have waited so long to use one of my favourite words, capricious)

When you marry a family you are answerable to a lot of people and this helps get you by when your feelings tell you that you don’t feel like going.

They Force You Back Together

When you decide you need distance from each other lest you kill each other, you retreat to a family/and or community which considers itself a part of your relationship and so will try to force the two of you together……….

Back to You

My mental exercise ends there. What do y’all think? Does marrying someone’s family and community make a difference? Is this a load of bollocks? Leave a comment and let me know.

Just trying to figure this whole thing out,

Mwangi

Permalink for 'The Most Important Question You Must Ask About Aid Organizations'

12:04

The Most Important Question You Must Ask About Aid Organizations

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Employment'

13:03

Stuff African People Like: Employment

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'So Here’s the Thing About Relocating to Africa'

12:04

So Here’s the Thing About Relocating to Africa

» ‎ The Displaced African

It’s really hard, and when it’s all said and done doesn’t appear to be for everyone. But most of us know it’s an incredibly noble, brave and courageous thing to do. So let’s break down four reasons to go back home and three reasons to stay put in the diaspora.

Africa map

For

1) Money and Entrepreneurship

From a purely selfish standpoint, it’s much easier for a person to leave the West and make their fortunes in Africa than it would be had he not left in the first place. During his or her time away, they have had their creative faculties ignited by exisiting in a different land with different people, institutions and rules.

This may in turn spark ideas for businesses that have long since been taken for granted abroad but are yet to make a hit on the continent of Africa: examples may be outsourcing, an African Itunes or the mobile phone ring tone market outside of South Africa (perhaps?).

So people could easily go home to cut and paste businesses and make killings. I know that a lot of y’all probably have at some point thought about taking some business idea or invention to Africa and how it would make you the black Buffet. There’s one part of the equation.

The other part is the difference in currency. African currencies are much weaker than foreign ones. That means that if you are able to create cashflow sources abroad and/or sell a business(s) the value of your money is much greater as soon as you set foot on the Dark Continent.

For some of you the cashflow might even be operating on auto-pilot meaning that not only does your money’s value increase on the basis of the foreign exchange but also because you have free time with which to design your ideal lifestyle using this money. Trips throughout Africa, contribution to your community and a nice plot for you to grow old in. And all this in the country of your birth……Something to think about.

2) To Follow in Great Footsteps

Nkrumah

Lord knows how accurate Wikipedia is but I read this article about how the US together with Britain planned out the decolonization of the world. They intended on educating the next crop of African leaders to take over in their own countries and then leave Westernized minds to proliferate Western ways of life.

That means that the story of a lot of Africa’s great leaders, Nkrumah and Nyerere, just to name a couple, is one of people who left the luxuries of the West to return to a life of servitude in Africa.

For the “more enlightened” Africans these are some absolutely phenomenal shoes to fill and walk in. In addition to that a life of service is “the right thing to do” because a lot of us know that:

People at home can be controlled easily because of poverty and ignorance

Most of us in the diaspora are well educated and have more than enough to survive

We can share this knowledge and resources and help people come out of poverty and suffering

That equation is far from a mystery and for a lot of us it is the driving force behind our being here.

3) To Be With People Like You

The person who created the expression, “There’s no place like home,” must have been an immigrant. You never forget or lose a special connection with the place that gave you your way of life, your language, your culture, your history and most of all, your initial sense of belonging.

A lot of immigrants don’t feel very welcome abroad or don’t feel welcome in the same way as we did in our native habitat. We want that feeling again and we want it every single day. It’s surprising how rarely this is discussed. This alone is responsible for huge numbers making the ocean migrations.

4) Retirement

Retire with a smile on your face

Nursing homes suck! Retiring as an old person on a plot and being taken care of by your little nieces, nephews and grand children seems much better than your destiny being controlled by a cranky 22 year old African lady in a retirement village after a long life well lived.

We want to retire in style and in dignity and so we return to the place where we can: home.

Against

1) The People are Mean

I don’t think it’s any secret that Africans being on the bottom of the racial totem pole for many generations has left us with not-the-most-pleasant of personalities. We have inferiority complexes, insecurities and faults and very rarely work on them directly (when we do, the results are usually magnificent, just examine African music, philosophy and literature to get a glimpse of that)

Instead we decide to bring each other down to size and viciously attack anyone or anything that even begins to remind us of any feelings of inadequacy. This means that verbal diarrhoea, anger and negativity directed at each other is commonplace. And this isn’t even the main reason we can be so bad.

Lest we forget, most Africans are dirt poor. This is not a pleasant experience. People don’t have the time to be nice to you when they are robbing you to eat for that night (though surprisingly some thieves are very generous and courteous, go figure…..). Until Africa is an egalitarian society where we feel as though we are all whole human beings equal to people from all races and nationalities, we probably won’t stop being so mean.

2) It’s Hard

Mandela

For those who do decide that they want to do something for the community, life is hard. Remember how most people are mean. Now mix that with a hatred and dislike for “people who have come from abroad to tell us what to do because they think they are so special now that they have spent a few years overseas” which a lot of immigrants get when they return.

Throw in a huge dash of sexism if she’s a woman and tribalism and xenophobia regardless of their ethnic background. Splash in a whole lot of ignorance and illeteracy. Mix that up with some really corrupt politicians who like things just as they are.

Put the Western government-industrial-corporate-military complex which also likes the status-quo on top of all that and you have the road that an African community organizer must take.

It’s considered noble, courageous and given great rewards for a reason, it’s bloody hard!

3) You Like Where You Are

Don’t let the hype fool you: money isn’t the root of all joy.

Don’t let the haters fool you either: the West isn’t all about money.

In this place, whatever your journey to your bliss, you can find it. If you wish to find people who have chosen the strictly spiritual path to self-actualization, you’ll find them here. If you’re after the Wall Street money-hungry folk who only see the cents in dollars, they’re all right here. Searching for people who put family and people above all else they are right here.

Whatever niche and experience and road to nirvana you have chosen, chances are you will find it in the West. To leave all of that and return to Africa which has a long way before it becomes the experience-buffet that the West isn’t a small ask.

So let me ask you, will you ever go home? Why? Why not? Leave a comment and let me know.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

PS: I just thought I would ask y’all whether or not I should continue with the series in which I explore different people’s viewpoints on living in Melbourne. I just wanted to check if people were finding some use in it now or I should postpone it till later when I’ve established the foundations of the blog a bit better.

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Their Solutions to Africa’s Problems'

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Stuff African People Like: Their Solutions to Africa’s Problems

» ‎ The Displaced African

Africa left over tanker

There is no gathering of African people anywhere around the world that doesn’t include the customary discussion of just what is wrong with Africa and how to fix it.

Don’t get me wrong though, it is far from a democratic discussion. The philosophy that gets the most airtime in the imaginations of the listeners is that of the loudest most dominant person. Sad to say, the expression that “empty vessels make the most noise” isn’t just a coffee mug logo: a lot of the time it’s true.

Sometimes however one is surprised by the quiet person in the group who proposes something like,

” We should take all the members of the (insert group they don’t like living in the country) and kick them out or use them for genetic testing.”

A key component of these bar room/church crusade/casual gathering strategy and philosophy sessions is no action must come out of them. For you see if the African knew they had to act on everything they said, they would feel a lot less free to share.

Therefore should you ever engage in these conversations with members of the continent be sure to:

a) Marvel at the brilliance of the most popular opinion. There is no need for you to give any form of input: By now it should be clear that the African is simply content seeming smarter than you. So make sure you acknowledge them as you would Einstein if you were there when he created the theory of relativity.

b) Whenever they discuss the African problems be sure to leer and express disgust at whatever outside force the speaker claims are responsible for Africa’s woes-other ethnic group, white man, politicians, women,men etc etc. Honestly you cannot go wrong with, “Satan is a liar,“, thrown into the mix every so often.

c) NEVER EVER EVER EVER propose or even think about putting any of these ideas into action. If you begin thinking or acting in that direction, Africans will quickly kick you out of their gathering: after all the African is talking to you to feel all smart and powerful, not to act or be held accountable: that’s just too much work and time taken away from making money, rising through the ranks and garnering degrees.

To explore the mind of the African a little deeper make sure you return here every day or stay updated by RSS or email to stay in touch.

Permalink for 'Opinions on Melbourne from a Son of an Immigrant Family'

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Opinions on Melbourne from a Son of an Immigrant Family

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'To All Displaced African Readers Who Use Internet Explorer'

9:24

To All Displaced African Readers Who Use Internet Explorer

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Money'

11:50

Stuff African People Like: Money

» ‎ The Displaced African

Money

Whereas other groups of people may take pride in proclaiming that, “they are beyond money” or “money is not the cause of my happiness”, that bug is yet to hit the African continent. Africans have an unrestrained love of money and equate it’s pursuit and attainment with happiness.

That is the reason why African mothers choose the University paths for their children the moment you come out of the womb: That path will lead to a great career as a pilot/lawyer/doctor/businessman/insert wealthy professional here. It’s just being smart: if the child ends up rich, then they will be able to brag to all their friends while they see out their retirement years in style.

Africans unashamedly look down upon manual and blue collar professions which tend to be the fort of the African poor and throw confetti and roll out red carpets anytime they are in the presence of wealth.

The key to how to handle this situation depends on at what stage of the socio-economic ladder the African is at:

a) If they’re poor or up and comers, empathize with them and the struggles they have to go through just to “hustle and make that paper, when the world keeps trying to bring them down.” At this stage it’s usually OK for you to pay for everything as the African will probably have a few holes in his pocket through which all their money escaped.

b) If they have any form of wealth, be sure to be the number one fan of all their displays of material wealth (refer to the article on Degrees for more guidance). Their plasma TV, their overpriced car, their expensive-but-Dear-sweetness-is-that-a-bird-nest-on-their-head hairdo amongst other things.

In addition to that, don’t discuss new age ideas like, “money isn’t the root of all happiness,” or “you don’t need money to live well,” to Africans. They will begin to get concerned about the state of your mental health.

There is much more to be said about the African relationship with money, but that is for another day and another edition of Stuff African People Like.

To stay updated on Stuff African People Like, stay on the free RSS or email update list.

Permalink for 'Stop Reading and Thinking! Do Something Instead (Audio)'

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Stop Reading and Thinking! Do Something Instead (Audio)

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Meat'

12:04

Stuff African People Like: Meat

» ‎ The Displaced African

An African's version of heaven

Whereas Westerners now have to be convinced to even touch red meat, Africa would need the propaganda of the Nazi empire doubled over to convince them to leave their precious cows, goats and chickens for even a week.

Africans love meat. Always have! By the looks of things, always will. In almost all African communities, since centuries gone by, the slaughter and consumption of animals is always a special event in and of itself. Africans even have a hierarchy on how special the day of slaughter is and it goes a little something like this:

The bigger and fatter the animal and the redder their meat, the more special the occasion.

That means that to slaughter a chicken is basically an indirect way of insulting a man; slaughter a baby chick and you are declaring war. On the other end of the spectrum, slaughter your fattest cow and it is clear to your invited guests that you mean business and your house is one to be returned to.

For those misguided souls who for a variety of reasons chose to go without meat, such as yours truly, we are met with looks that can only be described as:

bewilderment-mixed-with-a-feeling-of-being-bamboozled-and-

inability-to-understand-such-an-alien-concept.

For you see, a diet consisting of fruits and vegetables has always been an indication of either poverty or getting by. If you can afford many cows AND you have so many that you can slaughter some on a regular basis and you are the King Mswati of your constituency. You should know by now how much Africans love to keep with the Jones. And never forget dowry was paid in cows, not wheatgrass.

The key to this one is simple. Don’t EVER bring up your veganism or vegetarianism unless asked. This will cause the African to look down on you with such pity and aching in their heart that they will immediately work to “bring you back to the light” in the same way a Jehovah’s Witness would.

In addition to that, never ever blame any health problems on meat. By now you should have learned of a great Scape goat (me likes that pun) in the statement, “It’s the work of Satan !” Use that liberally.

Finally, the African has built entire societies and communities around meat. Learn how to cook meat right like only the African can.

If this meaty article has added some knowledge or entertainment to your bones, consider becoming a regular by subscribing to the site’s free RSS feed or email update list.

Permalink for 'The Top 7 Places An Immigrant Spends their Time'

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The Top 7 Places An Immigrant Spends their Time

» ‎ The Displaced African

I am a strong believer in the idea that we are what we do, especially what we do repeatedly. With that in mind, I thought I would break down some of the places immigrants find themselves majority of the time. Take a moment and think about it; where do you spend most of your time? Does spending it there make your life better? Does it make anyone else’s life better?

Have a look at the list below and see where you fall. In descending order:

Farmer

1) Place of Work: It doesn’t matter whether you are coming here as a student, on a working visa or through buying government bonds. We are a hardworking lot, most of us anyway, and we have an insatiable appetite coupled with great material ambitions.

Try and make your place of work as nurturing and positive as possible. You will spend a lot of time there.

2) University libraries: Lectures and tutorials are basically the tip of the iceberg. If you are here as a student, you will spend countless hours in study groups, study sessions and probably checking out your exes Facebook profile. Carry a lot of nutritious food and a great deal of patience and perseverance. It’s only a few years anyway….Enjoy it!

3) Drinking Sessions/ Fellowship sessions: Depending on which side of the religious divide you fall, you will either spend most of your “free time” getting plastered or you will spend it getting lost in the spiritual relm. Make sure that you have good people to hold your hand. You’ll need them for those dark moments (whether tough questions that crop up in the midst of your spiritual oddysey or through passing out)

Old school get together

4) House Parties and Get Togethers: Much more informal than the drinking and fellowship sessions. This is basically where you get your heart to hearts and get to spend hours talking about nothing but realizing that it’s worth everything. These will be the most rare of times especially because of the time taken up working. Cherish these moments.

5) Concerts, Parties and Festivals: Whether it’s going to a Malaika concert, or going to check out the rugby, these may be rare but you’ll probably talk about them long before and long after they are gone. Never forget though, it’s not about the event, it’s about people and what people do during the event. So perhaps do something worth talking about.

6) Worship: Some of y’all will be immaculate with your church attendance. Some of you will only stop by the church if sme1 has died or there’s free food and/or music. You will meet some great folk here who can really stand by you and make your life and world better when you need it the most. Contribute to this community.

7) Online: Well you’re reading this aren’t you? The Internet is a bit like a printer (bad analogy, I know but stay with me). It will only print out what you input into the computer. In the same way, you will only get out of your Internet experience what you consciously seek online. If you are simply in the market for empty sensations there’s more than enough of it online.

If you want to learn how to do JUST ABOUT ANYTHING the information can be found somewhere online. You have the power, please use it wisely.

If you are liking this place and think you might want to spend some more time here, please subscribe for regular updates by email or RSS.

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Job Titles'

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Stuff African People Like: Job Titles

» ‎ The Displaced African

Director of Human Resources
Chief Operations Officer
Manager of Custodial and Intermediary Affairs

Pro blogger

It doesn’t matter what socioeconomic class you are talking about: Africans LOVE job titles. If you want to instantly boost morale, instead of calling them a cook, call them Director of Culinary Services and immediately watch productivity jump 100%. This love for job titles stems from a very deep inferiority complex that African people have. And there’s no superficial band-aid for a inferiority complex that works quite as well as the external validation a job title.

Even if the African person does no significant work within the firm, they will proudly flaunt their business card and proclaim themselves as a manager. Manager of what? Half the time, even Africans don’t know.

The key to this one is quite simple. Should you employ an African, make sure you give his job the fanciest name (now that you know how much Africans love big words, feel free to use flowery language when describing their job. In fact the more complex sounding the job title the better). In addition to that, don’t expect the complexity of the job title to match the added effort on the job.

Expect the same work you would from a normal security guard irrespective of whether or not you rename him the

Commander in Chief of South C House B, Servants Quarter……Esquire GSU MBA…….em, Makere trained, Officially Certified, High School Trained (Oh you get the point).

Whenever you address the African, you can completely forego the task of having to remember their native name if you always address them by their job title.

Finally, make sure you give him business cards, plaques and any external indication of his job title so that every single member of his extended family, social network and constituency can stare at it all day while he is at work.

Remember, “substance is nothing, title is everything” and you will be just fine.

To learn more about how the mind of the African ticks, stay updated via RSS or email every single day.

NB: If you live in the States please check out 12 things you can get for free from Majonzi. Feel free to join the discussion and share some freeebies you may have discovered over time.

Permalink for 'African Man Worth Looking Up To:Derrick Ashong'

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African Man Worth Looking Up To:Derrick Ashong

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Discussing the Burden of Being African'

11:32

Stuff African People Like: Discussing the Burden of Being African

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'You Don’t Have to Be Sane to Succeed in Life'

13:03

You Don’t Have to Be Sane to Succeed in Life

» ‎ The Displaced African

You…you’re just special!

You’re weird.

I don’t think of you like I do other people.

You deserve your own bell curve.

You’re not normal!

Are you normal?

You’re crazy!

Crazy goat

Do any of the above apply to you? (Except the goat) Do you hear them regularly? If so, you have cause to rejoice. Gal africana, consider this article, a promise fulfilled.

The Madman of the Village is Dead

Gone are the days when being crazy was a debilitating handicap which held you back from any joy or meaningful achievement in society. The days when the ‘madman of the village’ was held as an example of what we shouldn’t do are long gone. The reason why begins with the definition of craziness in this day and age.

What Does It Mean to Be Crazy?

Go to answer.com (where else would you go really, the search results are usually so comprehensive) and they define craziness as…as…..insanity?! OK, that doesn’t help. So what does insanity mean? Insanity is:

Serious mental illness or disorder impairing a person’s capacity to function normally and safely

That’s the technical definition! Now we all know that 9 times out of 10 when people label others as crazy, this isn’t what they mean. They usually mean:

They are not normal, with normal being defined as what majority of people (or just majority of your peers) think, say or do.

That Brings Us to the List of 7 Reasons Why Craziness May Just Be Synonymous With Success

1) ‘Normal People’ Do the Wrong Thing…..A Lot

Social proof has always had power and in truth will probably always have some control over our decision-making as human beings. However, the underlying idea that it’s based on ( “If other people are doing it, it must be right.”) is so far from accurate. Among the things that majority of people have done or continue to do:

Jim Crow laws
The Colonial empires of the world
Thinking of women as inferior
Women wear heels
Drug abuse
Consumption of junk food (Mcdonalds is the most successful restaurant on Earth, isn’t it?)

Not exactly the smartest herd to follow.

Kinda like a straitjacket....right?!

2) The Great Names of the Last Century are All Crazy People
Once upon a time there was a man called Rolihlahla born somewhere in Africa. In the later parts of the last century, Rolihlahla, as well as some of his peers, including Tambo and Steve, began to propose what was a preposterous idea at the time.

He proposed that all black people were….gasp, shock, horror, equal to people of other races. Even worse, he and his peers were demanding that since blacks were equal they should actually have equal rights.

Now many decades later, we all know that because the Brits were too lazy or too incompetent to learn his name, they called him Nelson and his surname is Mandela. We also now consider Nelson Mandela to be one of the great statesmen of our time.

What is interesting though, is that all the way until the early 90s, people like Mandel, Biko and the ANC were considered (you guessed it) stark raving mad by the West.

So much so that Nelson and the ANC were classified as notorious terrorists(actually they still are apparently) as were the Mau Mau and many of the people we consider great freedom fighters today. As a further example, the head of the FBI hated Martin Luther King and called him all sorts of foul names.

In short, if you have a crazy ideology centred on improving people’s lives in the political arena, you may just end up being one of the great minds of the early 21st century.

Crazy sign

3) Movements started as marginal movements:
Lest we forget, all movements start as a bunch of weird or misguided people in the fringe of society. The civil rights movement didn’t begin at the Montgomery Bus Boycott.

Rosa Parks had been part of the struggle long before she refused to sit down. Martin Luther King was also in the game before the boycott. But once those two elements combined in the middle of the last century, they acted as the catalyst for what had been brewing under the surface for a long time but had not been the popular thing to do.

Fashion trends always begin with the crazy people on the margins of the community experimenting with a new way to dress. Once their trends become popular these fashionistas tend to ride of into the sunset looking for the latest weird trend.

Hip Hop began as a niche trend in Jamaica Queens in the late 1970s modelled on the Jamaican toasters and MCs. This niche trend, complete with its own culture, which began as a way of expression for marginalized black youth has now spread, not always in good ways, all over the world.

All movements must begin with one person who is willing to try out something crazy. One person becomes two, two become three, three become ten and before you know it, what was once a crazy, niche idea is now a mass movement that’s taking over.

4) To solve the problems of today you must think and act in a different way
Alby Einstein once said something to the effect of,

“Problems of today, cannot be solved with the thinking of yesterday.”

If you find yourself constantly butting against the same wall over and over and over and over again, perhaps take that as an indication that you have gotten to the edge of your current experience and it’s time for you to move on to something new and out of the norm for you.

The Straitjackets

5) It’s the essence of innovation in industry
Without craziness there would be no industry.

Can you imagine if Larry Page and Sergey Brin decided that the way information in this world was organized was just fine and could not be improved upon. A lot of y’all would have no idea this little blog exists (and I wouldn’t even know your blogs exist ) if these men didn’t decide to create Google to improve on the way the world organizes and consumes information.
Can you imagine how much of the world’s technology would not exist, if men and women had simply accepted what was the status quo and not tried to improve on something or solve a particular problem. No light bulbs! No electricity! No cheap cars! (Hmmm, considering the impact some of this stuff has on the enviroment, maybe not such a bad thing)

6) It’s only crazy until it’s popular, and then it’s just normal
So, who knows, maybe you’ll be the one who’ll improve on the design and do something new. Yes, you may be derided, chastised and mocked. But can you imagine if you succeed?…Well then one day your idea will be just a normal idea that was once thought of by this absolute genius but was derided, mocked and chastised by a majority of people who were obviously crazy and misguided

7) Being Crazy is Exciting
When you make the conscious decision to no longer live within the boundaries and rules of ‘ordinary conduct’, there go the safety nets of life. Without these boundaries, you now have to beat your own path, a lot of the time with no idea where the road will lead. Sure it’s scary, but it’s also exciting. When we are scared out of our minds, but still act, isn’t that what courage is all about? Isn’t that when we are most alive?

Before I leave,allow me to direct your attention to a nice, short article written by the First Lady of the blogosphere, R. It’s somewhat related and definitely worth thinking about.

With that ladies and gentlemen I hope I have made the case for living an uncoventional lifestyle that others may not approve of. I meandered, I twisted and I weaved, but I hope you and I arrived at the same place. I hope a few of you will release yourself from the shackles that others may chose to place upon you or that you may place upon yourselves and just go nuts (in a good way ).

If you are begining to see the sense in being crazy, make sure you subscribe to the site via RSS or email so that you can learn of more abnormal ways to change the world.

Be blessed and bless others,
Mwangi

Crazy lady

Permalink for 'Give Me Seven Minutes and I’ll Make You Fall in LOVE with RSS(Video)'

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Give Me Seven Minutes and I’ll Make You Fall in LOVE with RSS(Video)

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'Who Else Wants to Know Why they Drink So Much?'

15:42

Who Else Wants to Know Why they Drink So Much?

» ‎ The Displaced African

First of all, thanks to Acolyte for giving me the idea for this post.

Beer poster

I will tell you what this article is not. This IS NOT an article where I talk about the ills of drinking and alcoholism or give you reasons to stop. I have already spoken about my opinions on drinking and think its of no use to you if I repeat what I’ve already said.

Instead, this article is about helping YOU figure out why YOU get pissed and why people you care about drink…..so much?

Why Would I Care About Why I Drink if I Am Not About to Quit?

Anytime you figure out the reason why you do something, you gain one thing that’s absolutely priceless: self-awareness.

If before every sip, you can look yourself in the eye and know why you’re about to take that sip, with all B.S. aside, now that’s power.
Or rather, latent power that can easily be converted into something even more priceless (?!oxymoron, me thinks): self-control. This self-control can extend far deeper than every Friday night.
In a land where we agree that it’s easy to get distracted and lose focus, how valuable is self-control? You with me?! Let’s begin

Beer advertisement

Based on My Observations and Experiences

Based on my observations and experiences, I have observed the following 10 reasons that someone ingests the inebriating fluid:

1) Stress
This is the one I have heard most often, and I’m willing to bet it’s probably the one you’ve heard said the most as well. Anytime you feel like life is getting too tough and you need some way to escape briefly from this constant tension, you drink. You don’t like being away from home? You are not enjoying your new job? You’re university assignments are piling up and overwhelming you? Sip your sorrows away.
It’s possible that you are using drinking as your way of coping with any feelings of stress or overwhelm.

2) The Opposite Sex: Men
I can tell you for a fact that this is 90% of the reason that I drank. I began drinking on a semi-regular basis in my early teens so I could have enough courage to approach and bed women.
I remember when I was still in film school I tried to make a documentary (while drunk no less) on why people drink. A lot more men gave this as the reason than I would have thought.
Hey, if Kenyan President (legitimacy notwithstanding), Emilio Stanley Kibaki needed booze to convince the firecracker that is his wife, then I am sure many men with lesser power have done the exact same thing.

Beer goggles

3) The Opposite Sex: Women
Now when it comes to drinking and women, it’s an entirely different ball game. Sure, there are women who drink so that they have the courage to approach men they fancy for love or lust, but in my experience if these women have enough guts to do it when drunk, they can usually do it when sober.
Women tend to drink so that they have a scapegoat and can absolve all responsibility for ‘anything that may happen’ between her and a particular Mr., or Mrs., to herself and her friends, who she fears may call her the woman with the Red Sea for legs.
Now, few women will admit this openly, but a lot of women drink so that if they wake up the next morning next to someone they don’t particularly care for they can say,

“The booze made me do it, I’m still a good person!”

4) To Magnify Positive Emotions
This is the other major reason I drank. If I was ever in a good mood and I drank my good mood would multiply. This may happen when you have had a good day and feel that alcohol is the best way to treat yourself. Or it may also occcur at celebrations, get togethers and gatherings. This brings us to the next reason:

5) It’s What Other People Do
The power of social proof will never cease to amaze me.Other “normal” people go to the bar after work, so will I. “Ordinary” people drink whenever they get together or have a celebration, so will I. “Everyone” drinks in their teens and early adult years so will I. Another one not many people will admit. If so many “normal” people didn’t drink, would you ever have started?

Drunkard passed out

6) The Stories
This justification also intertwines with the previous one. In bars and house parties all over the world, we love people who start stories with:

I was so high/ We were so wasted that……….

Usually such stories have outlandish but ridiculously exciting plots. Some of us take great pride in being the one with such a story week after week after week or day after day after day.

7) Movies and the Media
This one doesn’t need too much explaining. A lot of people we consider ‘cool’ (we need a new word for cool, it’s cliche, ice cold?….perhaps…) in the movies and music drink. We love them so much that what they do we do.
We want to order martinis like Bond. We want to indulge in Cosmopolitans like Carey. We want to drink scotch neat like another protagonist from such and such film.

Do your favorite TV, music, movie or video game characters drink?

8 ) Scapegoat Version 2
Women are not the only ones who use alcohol as a scapegoat. A lot of us drink so we can tell people WHAT’S REALLY ON OUR MINDS, without having to suffer the huge consequences we would suffer if we did it in the sober light of day.
I have a family member who takes pride in using a lot of his drunk time to tell all the people he hates (for the weirdest of reasons) why he hates them. He takes this time to start fights with people he wants to start fights with because he knows once sobrierity comes he is back to being a responsible (well relatively) individual.

I drink so I have courage like green lantern

9) I Drink So I Have the Courage to Do X
The X in the headline above can refer to anything really. I drink so I am brave enough to give a speech. I drink so I am brave enough to face other people. I drink so that I can go to the shops without feeling pangs of agoraphobia.
It doesn’t apply to just courage either. I heard of a young man who in his primary school days, used to drink so he could cope with the boredom of being in the classroom all day long.

10) Energy to Continue
Though alcohol is technically a depressant, for a lot of people, it has the opposite effect and gives them jolts of excitement and energy. There are some people who use these jolts to get them through days when they have triple shifts to do on absolutely no sleep. There are some people who are so tired and weary from working 27 hour shifts, 9 days a week that the only way they know to switch their body on is to inject it with some alcohol.

So there you have it. All the reasons I can think of. Do you fall into one of the above categories? Is there a reason I may have missed?

Take this time to really get to know yourself. You may be pleasantly surprised by just why you drink. This self-awareness may lead to a level of self-control that may shock you even more.

If this article, got something brewing in your brain then make sure you stay on the blog’s RSS or email update list because I have new ales of useful, applicable wisdom coming out every day.

Have a self-conscious (in a good way) day,
Mwangi

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Sleeping'

12:04

Stuff African People Like: Sleeping

» ‎ The Displaced African

Sleeping cat

Africans never get enough sleep. From the moment they are twelve years old, their schools have 12 hour days, 6 times a week.By the time they are hitting the job market they have had half the sleep that the rest of the world has had.

For that reason, if you take a journey through African Facebook profiles, you may be baffled and surprised to find out that A LOT of African people put sleeping right up there amongst their interests, and even above reading in some cases (”I had enough of those things at school”). When Africans say they love to sleep they love to sleep.

Ask an African what their perfect day looks like and somewhere in that day there are long stretches of time where they “chew a comatose” (slang for catching some Zs (zeds not zis) or getting some shut eye).

Africans don’t need any fancy equipment or machinery to bring the sleep about. Give them a flat surface and lots of time and they’ll know what to do. It doesn’t matter if the mattress is so expired and worn out that they are receiving free massages from the bed springs, they’ll make it work. It doesn’t matter if the sheets have a thread count so low that they really should be called see-throughs, the African will grab some heavy clothing and get down to business.

If you ever supervise an African in the workplace or are a teacher or lecturer of children of the soil, you might be surprised by how much they love you if you say something to the extent of:

“Kwame/Achieng, you are a great worker/student/human being. You look like you haven’t been getting enough sleep.Why not go home and get some sleep….on the company’s dime/without it affecting your attendance?”

Don’t be surprised if this statement results in uncontrollable crying and so many thank that you think you are in downtown Japan. For the next few weeks the African will put all their complaints aside (tough job but they’ll do it) and instead brag to all their friends how they are such good workers that they were rewarded with the greatest reward of all: a really long sleep in the middle of the day.

To learn more about what African people like subscribe to the site via email to receive the latest articles in your inbox or via RSS to receive the latest articles in your feed reader.

Catch some sweet sleep tonight,

Mwangi

Permalink for 'A Cause for Celebration: Have a Great Day!'

12:04

A Cause for Celebration: Have a Great Day!

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'The Secret to Working Beyond the 20 Hours Per Week Work Limit'

10:51

The Secret to Working Beyond the 20 Hours Per Week Work Limit

» ‎ The Displaced African

NB: Please refer to the comments section and visit Mwalimu and the Mwalimu Blog for more information on this topic.

After brilliant guest posts from Acolyte and Seinlife that touch on this subject, I felt that this post was in order. After all, it’s something that almost every international student must encounter at some point.

Aeroplane 1

In the USA and in Australia, when you come over as a student, your student visa and work permit only allow you to work 20 hours every week during the school semester. In Australia, once the holidays are in effect, you can work as much as you want. I don’t know what the case is during holiday time in the US (leave a comment if you know), and I don’t know what the situation is in the UK in general - perhaps, sci-culturist, you can help me out with this one.

Now with that being the case, I know that a lot of you will immigrate and proceed to work way more than 20 hours during the school term. In truth there is no complex secret or rocket science should that be your choice. There are basically two things that you should keep in mind, should you choose to do this:

1) It is NOT the Most Important Thing

Whether or not you violate this rule isn’t the most important thing: how you are performing at school IS. From the stories I have heard, people who are caught for “over-working” aren’t usually initially investigated on account of their occupational habits. The investigation usually begins because:

a) The student is falling behind on attending lectures and tutorials.

b) Their grades are slipping.

Detention facility

As they investigate this, if they find out that you have been substituting the books for nursing and handyman gloves, it’s back on the boat with you. I know many people who came here on student visas and violated the 20 hour work limit week after week after week but were never caught because they were also model students.

If you are an A+ (well it’s High Distinction, but you get the point) student who attends all classes, lectures and tutorials, the chances of you being caught out for working a couple extra hours a week goes down dramatically.

That having been said though, don’t forget:

2) You’re Violating the Rules

If you get caught, there will be consequences. You might be detained and deportation is a definite possibility. Therefore, should you chose to constantly violate this rule BE CAREFUL. I know, this second secret fits in the d’uh category, but it needs to be said. BE CAREFUL. What this means is:

a) At the risk of being redundant to the nth power: Let NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING get in the way of your education. It’s the main reason you are here. Not the good life. Not the prayer conferences. Not to work (at least not yet). You came here on a student visa and as far as the nation of Australia knows that’s the only reason you’re here. Don’t give them any reason to bring this into question (refer to tip number one)

Someone against deportation

b) This one falls under the “I heard it through the grapevine which isn’t always accurate category”: Don’t go blabbing about your student visa situation to all and sundry. Keep it to yourself as much as you can and only share it with people you trust. There is a hotline where immigrants get reported for violating any Australian rules and laws, and apparently there are monetary reward for doing so. So don’t tempt those who may be aware of this and going through a stretch of poverty.

Be aware that should your employer be aware of the situation, they may want to take advantage, so make sure you trust your employer. Also, don’t tell your employer about it and then go and annoy him somehow.

In short, keep your head down and your nose as clean as you can.

And that’s it. I know, no mind-blowing, over the top secrets! But these secrets WILL get you from student visa to permanent residence or back home with an unblemished record. And both are much better than the fate that has befallen those who didn’t heed the above words.

For other secrets to thriving while living in the diaspora make sure you stay in the loop through Real Simple Syndication or regular inbox updates.

Keep your nose clean my friend,
Mwangi

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Talking about Demons and Satan'

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Stuff African People Like: Talking about Demons and Satan

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'Jungle Fever 2: The Relationship Between White Men and African Women'

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Jungle Fever 2: The Relationship Between White Men and African Women

» ‎ The Displaced African

One of the first articles I ever wrote was Jungle Fever: the Relationships Between African Men and White Women. It’s not my proudest achievement, but if you type ‘mandingo fantasy’ in Google, I will be among the first few search results (and ironically, by using that term again in a post, I pretty much solidify my standing on page 1 of the term’s search results).

For that reason, that article get’s read every single day somewhere in the world. Since I am constantly going back to the article to moderate comments, I noticed that I promised to give my take on what happens when the Women of Chocolate meet the Men of Vanilla. So here we are.

Interracial wedding

Considering that I was not blessed with the ability to breastfeed and am a member of the group that pees standing up, the most I can do is give a very pedestrian take on the relationships that take place between African women and white men.

Aside from sex, the other reason it’s difficult for me to go into much depth on the matter is because of the top-secret-wouldn’t-share-it-if-you-tortured-me-inquisition-style approach that a lot of women take to their love, and especially sex, lives. However, a few cracks have shown through and I encourage you to leave some comments and fill in any gaps.

White Men are in Demand
If you are a Caucasian male….welcome! You are going to enjoy (or not….just read on) the next couple of paragraphs. Significant numbers of African women across all age groups want to take a sip from the masculine tree of Caucasia (wow, isn’t that poetic? I like that, and you can use it for any race ). Now the reasons vary across age groups and socio-economic lines a little like this:

Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry

Poor Young African Women
This one especially applies to a sub-section of young women who tend to be very rural, but have had enough of Western influence to believe they have a hang of the Westernized culture (much to the amusement of some of us pretentious middle and upper class folk). They tend to work as hairdressers or prostitutes. These women want Caucasian males for money and the benefits that money will bring them. They are poor. They don’t have nice things. They want the money and the nice things.
They are also motivated by something else that I will discuss a little further on, but for now let’s move to…..

Middle and Upper Class African Women
Some of these women are motivated by money, but it doesn’t play the huge factor it does with the poor African women. These women in addition tend to be motivated by three things.
The first is a simple desire for adventure and exploration. The same thing happens to African males when they land overseas happens to our African sistaz: they want to taste and experience everything in the shop.
The second one I thought was a joke, but once I heard it a couple of times, realized that people really believe it. That saddened me. Some of them go for Caucasian males either because they love Caucasian skin and/or want to have beautiful babies. Love for Caucasian skin, no problem, there are some pretty fascinating things about the skin that amaze me, like how the skin gets red when you apply pressure then loses the colour when you ease on the pressure.

Leila Arcieri

However, because you want beautiful babies?! Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the subtext of that statement that half-black, half-white kids are superior somehow to a typical black child. With all the self-esteem issues we already have as a race, do we need this one too?!

Now, granted, half-black, half-white babies do tend to be pretty good looking - Shemar Moore, Barrack Obama, Lenny Kravitz, Jasmine Guy and Halle Berry just to name a few - but seriously!

In this day and age shouldn’t we be working on sorting out our inadequacies and insecurities as a race rather than making partner selection on the basis of something so superficial. AND NEVER FORGET, standards of beauty are taught. Shouldn’t we want to bring kids into the world who won’t look at other black people and think of them as hideous. But I digress…….
Reason number three, which is the same reason the poor African women traverse into the Vanilla milkshake aisle, is discussed below

Mature African Women
After the childishness and the silliness of youth (though a huge number of African women skip this stage all together) you are ready to settle down and build a life. Many African women at this stage are intelligent, hard working and have some form of material achievement. So when they look out across the globe at their prospects, they select the Caucasian male for a reason I know a lot of brothers won’t like:

White man kissing a black woman's feet

They Treat Women Better
Feminism hit the West hard! In fact my two cents on it is that in this day and age, as far as relationships are concerned, the power is imbalanced heavily in favour of women.

Men have been taught that women are divine creatures that should be pampered, wined, dined and consulted when making any major decisions.
Of course this isn’t universal, there have been some horror stories of abuse of all sorts, but enough men do this that it counts. Even when the man is simply after some sex from an African girl, he’ll take her to dinner and treat her like an absolute gentleman on the way to the bedrooom.
On the flip side, majority of African men wouldn’t know romance if it was King Kong on top of the highest building. And that’s for a good reason: Most African men don’t care. A lot of us still believe very strongly in tradtional roles, chauvinism and sadly far too many still believe that wife beater isn’t just an article of clothing.
And so they decide I’d rather my Pink-hued prince than my Cocoa-brown wife beater any day.

This is how we once were but we're changing

My Feelings On It
I could lie and say that I am fully in support of this form of interracial mingling and it makes me feel good and fuzzy inside when I see a good African woman with a great white man. I always just feel sad. I feel like we all landed on the island to fight a war together and we have lost another soldier.

Call me corny but I honestly believe that all of us Africans here are part of the same body with the same history and struggles and when one part of the body is lost, it saddens me.
Don’t expect me to join any groups against interracial love, but if you are going to bring me your brand new White husband, give me some time. I am not used to it quite yet.

If you want to join me in further exploration of African immigrant relationships, make sure you stay subscribed via either RSS or email.

If You Want Love, then Make it,

Mwangi

PS: What is with Asian women and white men? You would think one is Michael Jackson and the other a sequin glove…..can anyone explain this to me?

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Degrees and Advanced Degrees'

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Stuff African People Like: Degrees and Advanced Degrees

» ‎ The Displaced African

Graduating gown

Tertiary institutions have absolutely no need to advertise in sub-Saharan Africa: we are convinced. From the moment a child springs forth from the womb of Africa, the parents have decided that he will be a wealthy lawyer/business owner/pilot/insert name of well-moneyed professional here.

For that reason, school is compulsory and to get your University degree is a must. To quit school is treated as a sin worse than blasphemy.

“Why can’t you just go, get your degree? Just get your degree! Then you can do whatever you want.” That is an African parent’s plan A when they catch a whiff of a black child trying to commit the unspeakable act. Should it fail, ambushes, beatings and emotional blackmail soon follow.

Of course once you get that undergraduate degree, you are reminded of your best friend’s smaller brother who has a Master’s Degree even though he is three years younger than you. And so, deciding that you will not be beat in this race to acquire degrees, you knuckle down for another two to three years of:

I-will-complain-about-assignments-everyday-I-don’t-know-what-I-

want-to-do-when-I-leave-but-I-must-get-the-degree

Once that degree is got, you remember that your second Uncle on your mother’s cousin’s side is actually a professor and think to yourself, “I’ve been here most of my life anyway, may as well continue.” And all this, so they can call you Dr. before you are thirty years old.

Should you meet an African, you must prostate in fear before their degrees. Just in case you may be wondering, “Where should I look for these degrees to bow before,”, look through all the walls of his home and workplace, they’ll be there somewhere.

Each degree should also be bowed before and complimented separately. The Oos and the Aas must increase in awe as you go up the degrees ladder with the smallest Oo going to his high school diploma and absolutely orgasmic excitement being directed at their PHD in Actuarial Remedial Photosynthetic Polyamorous Subculture Studies.

Also be sure to call them Dr. as soon as they enter the PHD program, even though they never complete it. Also remind them that they are:

a) The only African in their class

b) The youngest person in their class and;

c) They are so brilliant to be going for a PHD before their 30th birthday.

To learn about more stuff African people like, subscribe to the blog via RSS or email.

Permalink for '7 Artists That Make Hip Hop Worth Listening To'

12:04

7 Artists That Make Hip Hop Worth Listening To

» ‎ The Displaced African

Hope you are enjoying your day of rest! I have already expressed my opinions on gangsta rap, and those opinions definitely do not extend to the 7 artists I talk about below. These artists are actually part of the reason it’s close to impossible for me to take a lot of gangsta rap seriously.
After all how can you settle for less when you have seen musicality at its finest. Long ago I promised I would do a post of this nature….the promise is now fulfilled.

1) Lauryn Hill

Lauryn is like that really clever cousin that everyone has. You know the one who has flashes of absolute brilliance that from time to time are marred by minor errors in judgment (in my fam, that would be me!). In spite of her erratic behavior, her talent, graceful beauty and musical skills are undeniable.

2) Black Star
Just in case people forget why hip hop got started in the first place, there is Black Star to remind you. Yes they talk endlessly about their skills as MCs. Yes they talk about drug dealing. But they rhyme, bend and manipulate words as though they are clay in their hands. They talk about the beauty and wonder of the human experience and African experience.
Talib is the philosopher who takes himself and his words so seriously that you can’t help but do so as well. Mos on the other hand is that ever smiling, ever rhyming MC who can’t help but make you feel good inside. Forget reading the above just listen to the two tracks below

3) Tupac Shakur
No discussion of hip hop can begin or end without mentioning Pac. I will admit it, I am a selective fan of 2pac. The tracks below have my ear any day. “Hit em up”? not so much.

4) Dead Prez
I have already written my stalker ode to Dead Prez, so I will just give you two more tracks to enjoy.

You’d rather have a Lexus,
Or Justice,
A dream,
Or some substance,
A Beamer,
A Necklace,
OR FREEDOM

5) LL Cool J

I know a lot of you didn’t expect this guy to be on the list. Heck even I didn’t. Another case of selective listening when it comes Mr. Smith.
I must give credit when it’s due: For those times when you have no lines or don’t know quite what to do to turn your Don Juan on, do as L would do. No one does smooth better:

The Lord works in mysterious ways,
He must have put you on this Earth,
For all men to praise

(With proper delivery what can’t words like these achieve?)

6) Lupe Fiasco

Lyrics! Lyrics! Lyrics! He is mellifluous! He is floetry! His rhyming is off the chain! Don’t believe me, explain the lyrics below:

I’m fearless
Now hear this
I’m earless
And I’m peer-less
That means I’m eyeless
Which means I’m tearless
Which means my iris resides where my ears is
Which means I’m blinded

7) Da Truth
Inspirational through and through and through.The song that really resonated with me by this talented theologian-on-the-mic was ‘My Story’. In this world where apparently Akon faked his criminal record, just to gain more acceptance, how relevant is a track like that? You be the judge:

So pull a chair, something to drink and enjoy some real music.

If you enjoyed this list and want lists like this don’t forget to subscribe to the site via RSS or email to receive the latest lists first.

Da Truth - My Story

I thought my testimony was less the holy, I thought I was less blessed then my homies, just confessing only the big sins, I thought that was a badge of honor, I thought that I had to have a story that was packed with drama, But I aint ever been shot, no big crimes, never smoked weed, never drank, I never did time, I grew up with both parents both cheering me on, teaching me basic things like no swearing (no swearing son),
It’s so apparent I came up in the church, socially this is where I gave my worth, learned to pray and assert my self for God displaying its worth, upon living without playing in the earth, just the average kid, you know the type that like to play in the dirt, came home with dirt stains on my shirt, reciting the same old verse, at the table no games no hurts, And I knew I was called before the day of my birth, And its like that,
I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my story didn’t flow, But now I know the blood of the lamb has saved my soul and that’s my testimony, I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my wasn’t dope but now I know the blood of the lamb saved my soul and that’s my testimony
I aint no gangster I aint tough cause of rap, never been cuffed and stuffed in the back of a patty-wagon, I aint never cuss in my raps, I started gospel most aint accustom to that,
Let me get back, when I was young I used to think I was corny, Cause I aint grow up in the projects drinking a 40, And I aint never had no thug dude sneaking upon me, And every buddy had the name brand sneakers before me, And it made me really made but as I bugged my mom and pops taught me never to chase silly fads, they told me focus and bought me note books, I really had brilliant parents they introduced me to Billy Gram
See I aint got no horror story God kept me as a buck I give him all the glory, In high school all the pretty girls ignored me called me church boy, I wasn’t bothered normally though, Sometimes I would hate living the life of a saint, They saw the Christian boy and light right from the gate, thought I would preach so they tried to escape but I guess that’s just the price of pronouncing your faith, and its like that
I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my story didn’t flow, But now I know the blood of the lamb has saved my soul and that’s my testimony, I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my wasn’t dope but now I know the blood of the lamb saved my soul and that’s my testimony
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I’m prefect, Matter fact I took thoughts and conveyed about cursing, I was saving my pain it was worse then it should have been man I was ashamed just to say I’m a virgin, plus I was too afraid to admit I was a Christian, I spent most of those days trying to prove I was hip, plus trying to prove I was cool, trying to move like a pimp, My testimony wasn’t cool enough yet, Then I came to my senses I put my brain to the scriptures, Thought of how Christ was blameless to sinners, He didn’t grow up on the corner fornicating with sisters, A good Jew grew in favor of wisdom, That gave me relief , rearranged my belief no longer thinking what I’m saying is weak, I aint never been sprayed in the street but saved by his grace plus raised to my feet, And its like that,
I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my story didn’t flow, But now I know the blood of the lamb has saved my soul and that’s my testimony, I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my wasn’t dope but now I know the blood of the lamb saved my soul and that’s my testimony

Permalink for 'Stuff African People Like: Big Words'

11:32

Stuff African People Like: Big Words

» ‎ The Displaced African

13:03

The Displaced African is 100 Posts Old!

» ‎ The Displaced African

Permalink for 'Displaced African Review: You Deserve to Feel Good by “Coach” Caroline Jalango'

12:04

Displaced African Review: You Deserve to Feel Good by “Coach” Caroline Jalango

» ‎ The Displaced African

You know your blog is doing alright when you ask a reader to send you a copy of their book to review and they do it for free. I’ll say it once, I’ll say it many times: Thanks Carol for sending me your book, I really appreciate that.

Coach Carol book

I have decided that I will write this review in the following style:

a) Brief description of the book

b) Things I loved about the book

c) Critiques of the Work

d) Say a huge thanks to Carol again

e) Log off and go and watch some soul flicks

f) Leave you with information on where you can pick up the book and/or learn more about Coach Carol

You Deserve to Feel Good: How to Ensure that You Do by Caroline Jalango

This book’s title gives you a pretty clear indication of what the book is about. It is written by Caroline, an ex-lawyer turned life coach /motivational guru, who also happens to be an African immigrant living in the US. The book gives you practical, immediately applicable tools that you can use to turn frowns upside down, drab into fad, depression into elation, melancholy into gay foly, sadness into….you get the point.

In short, if you need a book that will teach you, wherever you are, how to immediately get yourself into a powerful, self-confident, self-believing and assertive state, this book is for you.

What I Loved About the Book

1) Caroline’s Voice: I can pretty much write the whole article about Carol’s writing voice. I have spoken briefly with Carol via email and the same voice from that email is what I find in this book: exuberant, encouraging, motivational and unwaveringly committed to moving you to action and to a better place in your life.

This book makes you want to sit with Carol, especially on those downer days, because you know just five minutes with her will give you the boost you need to get up and get on with it.

2) The Sub-Categories: If you need help dealing with negative people, refer to Chapter 10.Need to bounce back from failure? Read the next Chapter. Feel like you don’t value yourself? Chapter 6 is all you need. This book can pretty much meet you at whichever internal negative situation you’re at and move you to a much better place.

3) Quick read: Because of Carol’s exuberant voice, this is a very quick read that doesn’t dabble or beat about the bush. You want to feel good now? She will get you from zero to hero quicker than a

poem-that-choses-to-list-all-the-problems-for-hours-before-listing
just-one-solution-in-the-last-line.

4) Small Editing Things That Make Me Smile: The cover graphics are great and she uses lists a lot. If you read blogs as much as I do, then you can appreciate when someone uses the always-so-easy-to-digest list format and mixes that with great graphics that make the book easy on the eye.

Critiques

1) The Book is for Women: I am a man. Just a a quick request to all the fellas out there: More personal development stuff, biographies and autobiographies (especially on TV. Where’s our Oprah? Please don’t say Jimmy Kimmel) for men, centered around the masculine existence. Has nothing to do with the book, but it had to be said.

2) Not Specific: I would have loved to have known how Carol’s uniqueness, an ex-lawyer who started her own business or her experiences as an African living overseas, have impacted on her thinking, her decisions and the quality of her life.

I don’t think I have ever read anything that speaks to the experiences described above and how to overcome them or leverage them to success. A much more specific personal development book is definitely needed in the already over-saturated personal development field.

3) Audio Version or Course: I think with a voice like Carol’s she should definitely not have restricted this book to the two dimensional page. Instead, in my humble opinion, Carol should have made this either an audio and/or video course (example would be a 30 day course ala Tony Robbins) or a 3 day/6 day/4day seminar with the book as a guide for the seminar.

I may be wrong, considering I have never ever met Carol in person, but me thinks that such exuberance shouldn’t be left to the imagination but should be ‘tangible’ either through the tone of her voice or the way she uses her body.

Therein are my two cents regarding what in truth is a pretty phenomenal experience, the FIRST TIME I ever read a personal development book written by my fellow African. So in conclusion let me thank Carol for making me my own custom made affiliate link to her site.

Make sure you check out the book by clicking on this link

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

Permalink for 'No! Gay Marriage and Fornication ARE NOT Signs the World Is Coming to an End'

9:43

No! Gay Marriage and Fornication ARE NOT Signs the World Is Coming to an End

» ‎ The Displaced African

The L Word

For My Church Folk

It’s amazing how entire societies can practice selective amnesia. How African people, of all people, could have bought into the idea that because gay people are getting married, youngsters my age are fornicating like steroid-amped bunnies and there are natural disasters such as hurricanes and tsunamis, that means that Jesus Christ is coming tomorrow boggles me.

Are You Forgetting Where We Were Decades Ago?

Are you forgetting that until quite recently we weren’t even thought of or treated as whole human beings? Are you forgetting that almost the entire continent of Africa was under colonialism and that African civil rights were nothing more than an illusion of the occasional schizophrenic. Are you forgetting that colonialism, slavery and all forms of oppression against the African brought with them:

1) Murder

2) Mutilation

3) Rape

4) Assault

5) Intense labour without any possibility of pay

So ladies and gentlemen how does that compare with the reality of today? We are among the first lots of Africans within the Western empire who are not enslaved by some European barbarian. I am assuming you are not reading this from a concentration camp or a dungeon. If you are, contact me, I would love to interview you about your experiences.

War

What About Before That?

Let’s see!The last couple of centuries have been nothing but a moral purists dream haven’t they? What with:

a) World War 2

b) The first Nuclear weapon being dropped

c) World War 1

d) The Scramble for Africa

e) The misuse of religion to enslave millions of people worldwide

f) The occupation and colonization of almost every nation on Earth.

g) The turf and property ways that tribal societies in Africa used to have with each other e.g. the Maasai vs the Kikuyu

h) The Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade etc etc etc

Compare that to the prospect of living next to a couple that call themselves “Stacy and Mary” as opposed to “Mark and Mary”? Do they even compare?

Yes, Mr. Young Stud (real name;) ) may distribute his semen up and down the globe, but can you compare it to the millions of African women who were held down and raped while their village is being pillaged and robbed by occupying forces?

Condom advertisement

So What’s Your Point?

My point is quite simple. You have to keep your life in perspective. Yes, we do exist in the age of neocolonialism and yes the chains of oppression and the yoke of selfishness and greed is far from removed.

However

A lot of people died and made sacrifices so you could sit in a cyber-cafe or sit in a fully furnished home and read this.

This is one of the first generations EVER in the history of the Western empire to have middle and upper classes.

We have been blessed due to great people like Aime, Fannon, Lumumba, Mandela, X, Biko, Kimathi,Mboya, Nyerere and Nkrumah to be able to eat on the same tables as the Westerners who once oppressed us and that is no light blessing.

So please put your life in perspective and be thankful for all the blessings that your forefathers and your divine Father has blessed you with. Quit fixating on whether or not the rapture is erupting tomorrow and instead focus on being a creature that lives by the only two commandments that matter:

An angel from God perhaps

1) Love God

2) Love your fellow man as you love yourself, not forgetting that what you do to the least of your brethren has direct impact on point number 1.

Do the above two things as they were originally intended and you don’t even need to worry about whether or not the world is ending tomorrow: you’re ready!

If this post caused a little stirring in your soul, feel free to subscribe to the blog via email or RSS to get regular inspiration.

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

Permalink for 'Guest Post: Sci-Culturist'

11:41

Guest Post: Sci-Culturist

» ‎ The Displaced African

Introduction

NB: I also find it very cool to be getting a guest post from an African living in the UK. The first of hopefully many.

1) Sci-Culturist

Immigration signs at an immigration protest

Immigration Redefined

I am not crazy about television. However, I am of the viewpoint that with selective watching, the TV can be a mighty educational instrument. Do read on.

I recently watched a documentary series called “Immigration: The Inconvenient Truth”. Inspired by the 40^th anniversary of a then British Member of Parliament Enoch Powell’s infamous Rivers of Blood speech, Rageh Omaar, renowned British journalist of Somali heritage, set out on a country-wide mission. Omaar’s task: investigative journalism leading to a balanced documentary that explores immigration today in jolly good old Great Britain, whilst out rightly examining Powell’s apocalyptic prophesies. In this regard, Omaar traversed the country and interviewed a range of British people in terms of ethnicity (white, black and Asian) and class. An overview by the broadcasters, Channel 4, is given here.

Excerpt of Powell’s Rivers of Blood speech that presumably set out to tap into his fellow politician’s latent fears:

As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding; like the Roman, I seem to see “the River Tiber foaming with much blood.” That tragic and intractable phenomenon which we watch with horror on the other side of the Atlantic but which there is interwoven with the history and existence of the States itself, is coming upon us here by our own volition and our own neglect. Indeed, it has all but come. In numerical terms, it will be of American proportions long before the end of the century. Only resolute and urgent action will avert it even now.

(Full text and mp3 via Channel 4)

Immigrant sign from the Old Testament

An intriguing observation made by Omaar was that despite the intangible nature of immigration in the 21^st century, Eastern Europeans (the most recent additions to the European Union) have been vehemently labelled as the newcomers who have come to take the jobs of the British working class, whereas Western Europeans and Americans who move to the UK (London in particular, due to the floating of the London Stock Exchange) for career motivations or economic prospects remain unnoticed or perhaps more accurately, unquestioned. One can only conclude that the latter group are not perceived to be a threat. This is possibly because (a) they are generally highly skilled, therefore entering an already accepted highly competitive job market, (b) they blend in with more ease into a society with similar cultural values and modes of expression, (c) their patterns of migration are better understood by the British population which makes them appear to be less of a threat on their livelihood or (d) statistically they are largely white. But so are the Eastern Europeans. I don’t know, take your pick or better yet, enlighten me.

The label immigrant never sat well with me. I have always known I am here “for a while”, whatever that means. But exactly that is the crunks of it. For a while is fluid. Likewise, Omaar demonstrated that what was referred to as immigration 40 years ago is certainly not what it is the case today. The permanence in the concept of immigration back then no longer constitutes the definition of immigration today. People now live as global citizens, moving from one country to another, for a multitude of reasons, economic migration being only one of them.

Clearly Someone Doesn't Like the Immigrants Around

London, a cosmopolitan hub and I daresay as culturally diverse as any city in the world will ever get, is home to just over 2 million immigrants. In a recent report entitled A Profile of Londoners by Country of Birth (pdf), The Mayor of London’s office estimated that in 2006 one-third of Londoners were born outside the UK. Notably, majority of these people were of working age (20 to 34 years). The key message from the TV series that is reiterated in this report is that immigration has changed its face, its characteristics and therefore the societal issues it elicits. Immigration is dynamic. Unlike the times when people came from the colonies of the Empire to settle down, people are now in a state of constant flux. They ebb and flow at the shores of this small island, some settling for months or years and others indefinitely. The question that now takes precedence is if government policy and to a less extent, the population’s attitude are reflective of this. In one example, Omaar interviewed British working class men who acknowledged the need for people to gain more skills if they were to keep up with the incoming flux of skilled manual workers. Preparation for survival of the fittest as it were.

Someone else appears to dislike immigrants

So it’s official, the world’s borders are porous; home really is where the heart is. How does this apply to you, you might ask? Immigration in its new, updated definition is a worldly affair. No longer territory (pun fully intended) for the coloniser and the colonised, but simply for people from all walks of life, seeking better opportunities – economic, education or otherwise. With regards to the African Diaspora, the term and concept of the Afropolitan, coined by Taiye Tuakli-Wosornu readily comes to mind.

I leave you with my mantra:

Home is a state of mind. Having more than one home is not a bad thing at all. After all, home and home-home are two different things entirely.

By Sci-culturist,

From Sci-culturist

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Permalink for 'Guest Post: An Open Letter to Men on How to Treat Women'

13:54

Guest Post: An Open Letter to Men on How to Treat Women

» ‎ The Displaced African

Introduction

1) An Open Letter to Women on How to Treat Men

2) Sunny’s article on the Walk for Breast Cancer

African couple

Letter To Men

I am writing to let you know that there are some general things that you should know concerning women, especially women that you want to date. NB:I speak for myself and we( refers generally to things about women that I think are true) and any reference to any person living or deceased is purely coincidental)

Be Yourself

The funniest and wittiest are known by their consistency.You may be trying too hard, or too little. Either way,I, and many others would rather have you. Include some cute quirks. Some women are fascinated by multilingual people, that includes those who can speak Sheng slang and English, multiple vernaculars, Jamaican creole etc Others like dull as nails academic types, you may fit in that category. Others appreciate handy DIY people who can fix things and teach me how to change a tire. You have a unique personality, I do not want a created character.

On that note, here is something for the nice guys.

Scathing satirical take on a gold digger.....OUCH!

Nice Guys

We know who you are. We see some women in your life treating you like a doormat/ATM Machine/gold mine. I have the female sight, and when I met her I knew exactly why she wanted to be with you, especially if she thinks you are $$$ and wants a chunk of you. My friend,head for the hills, I do not care what her best quality is.That is one reason why ‘nice guys finish last’, and you can see how years of such treatment would jade and destroy even the most indomitable nice guy. How do you know whether your lady would do that to you?. Sorry, I can only ask you whether you are happy with your girl, be wary if you hear that too often from your female pals, your sis, your mom!

Flowers and Chocolate

I may love them so please, do be creative, BUT I may be allergic, I may associate them with sad times. I may think that is cheesy beyond! Tip: The more public the flower display the better. Chocolate - Makes me happy, makes me happy about you, if well timed.

My Gal Pals

If you are intimidated by my gal pals, I cannot change that. They get me through the times when the stuff hits the fan. What I can say is that they are part of my life. Do not try and adjudicate who stays and who goes, I knew them before you came along. Plus, if you can calm down about them, I may be more open to you and the boys hanging out, without me.

A knight....chivalry...get it?

Chivalry

It so happens that we like to have doors opened for us when out with you. We know its soo last century but we like it, so if you could avoid entering everywhere chest first, that would be much appreciated.Since we are in the 21st century, dont hesitate to ask whether I mind having the door opened, as I will let you know exactly how I feel about the whole practice. Be sure that its the small things that
matter.

Paying For the Date

I really do not care for where the date will be, but can we decide early whether we are going dutch(split) or if you are paying, and where we are going, in case you take me somewhere in the $$$$ price range of Chez L’Ami and I can only afford a hotdog, and chips for five shillings(taken from Ndarlin P) - Do not embarrass me by pulling stunts when the check arrives, because that is tacky.

Karma

Lady Karma follows you. I am one of those pedestrians who will always try and cross the road, regardless of how many drivers (as we often do in Nairobi) because I have a feeling nobody would want to risk bad luck in love for life by hitting a pretty lady. Also and more seriously, do not even think that because you screwed me over and walked away, that someone will not do the same to your best friend, sister, beloved female role model or that the same fortune will not follow you.

A dog biting a dog in the ass. Just like Karma which eventually.....if you don't get it, ask somebody

Talking About You

When you meet me, and start telling me about how your high school rugby team won some tournament (think Prescott, schools etc) or that you invented the national recipe for your regional beer, look! look! notice how my eyes are glazing over. You are boring me. I do not want to hear a play by play account of your illustrious career as an actor, or why you think your take on politics/sports/cooking/travel is so fascinating. I want to have a dialogue (read two people exchanging ideas) therefore…a quick mention will be enough. If you are truly interested, shut up, really listen, then you will not ask me later questions like…

What Kind of Man Do I Like

Do not ask me what kind of man I like. Did someone give people this line along with the ‘You have been running through my mind all night,” variety. Seriously. If you put me on the spot, I may, or may not tell you what you want to hear. Use your common sense which I think is pretty common…

Common Sense

This common sense dictates that when you approach me, you know what you are doing, so do not play a fool. Do not act like I was seeing my own things, or hearing my own tired lines from you. Especially,do not quote movie lines, ‘ Its not me its you” “I need time to find myself” “Things have not been the same between us” because they are so cliche, and we know what movie that is, cause we watched it with you.Come on, really?

You think you are the greatest thing this side of Venus

Prowess

If you need to brag about it, it is probably not true. Enough said. The world is filled with enough fiction, and there is no need to add your own.

Just Not That Into You

I have not called back, she does not want to text. She probably lost interest. Or, your incessant calling put her off, or the fact that you are stalking her by either following her home physically (by public transportation in the same vehicle) or online (MySpace, Facebook, etc). Either way step back. Like many women, I am also not into married, attached or otherwise engaged men, and if you fit into those categories and I have told you to back off, I really do mean it. I am not into another person’s meat, its poison!

There is a lot of conditional points in these lines. Women are wonderful, whole complete beings. Each one is delicate( to be handled with care, not ‘easily broken‘) and valuable ( has supporters who would willingly bash your face in if you tried a dumb stunt).

Over to you Mwangi.

By Sunny,

From Project Sunshine

For more posts perspectives on relationships from Africans living in the diaspora, subscribe for free updates via email or RSS

Permalink for 'Guest Post: The One Thing They Never Tell You Before You Immigrate'

11:23

Guest Post: The One Thing They Never Tell You Before You Immigrate

» ‎ The Displaced African

Introduction

1) Martin Luther King’s Dream Had One Little Hitch: Tolerance Isn’t All That It’s Cracked Up to Be (This post is quite long so get yourself something to drink before you read it)

Take It Away Gal

Mwangi put me on the spot  and asked me to do a guest post about being an incarnate immigrant Kenyan. Being quite the emotional gal (there goes all the male readers lol), I’ve chosen to write a little about the emotional stuff, because I believe that knowing of the possibility of experiencing these emotions, saves one a lot of energy…

The way I see it, when one expects to experience something, one doesn’t usually expend energy fighting the experience…but deals with the situation coming from a place of apparent preparedness…because one expected it. Makes for smoother sailing, me thinks 

I know I didn’t expect to experience the loneliness.

Nothing/ Nobody had prepared me for being in a new place with no friends. NOTHING! And that’s just the easy part. The kind of loneliness I experienced in my first few years abroad was unnerving, terrifying, tiring.

I was not at all prepared for moving away from people who’ve known me since I was in nappies. People who I’d gone to kindergarten with and friends I’d met on the first day of primary school and then was learning how to be a teenage adult with. People I had a “secret” language and personal history with. People I could tell funny stories about, even though everyone’s heard them a trillion times, and they could and would do the same with me. All this vanished with one “little” plane ride that I didn’t even notice, because I slept all the way to Heathrow. Vupti! And it was gone! Just like that. And I had no idea.

I remember the first time I met a long time friend and she laughingly said “OMG gal, that is So you”, to something inane I had done, I almost fell to knees crying, thinking “Oh my God, IT IS ME!, and she should know, she’s known me since I was 6!” Moving to the UK/DK (United Kingdom and Denmark) meant that I was surrounded by lots of lovely friendly people who knew naught/zero/zilch about me, and that somehow made/makes for loneliness.

I never underestimate the power of shared history anymore

We recognize and celebrate ourselves in it…its part of what shapes who we are…and one of the easiest ways to make friends…i.e. creating a shared history.

The move from the comfort of a Kenya whose systems; political, cultural and social, I knew and were a natural part of me, knocked me off my saddle sideways and left me reeling. The funniest part about it, is that I expected to fit right in pronto, first in the UK (not too bad but still) and then quite erroneously, in Denmark. I now know that, that little expectation can make a move to a new place a very horrendous one.

I now know to expect to NOT fit in, in a way that’s different from experiencing new things in Kenya, I expect to work at fitting in, I expect to stick out like a sore thumb and feel like one, if only for a while, but sometimes always, and many years down the road, I have accepted this as part of my life as an immigrant. I know to expect to feel the loneliness, in one form or another.It’s ok, it doesn’t bite…that much 

Gal Africana,

from a search for sanity

If you would like more information on what to look out for whenever you immigrate to a foreign nation make sure you stay subscribed to this site so you can receive new tips and usefulinformation daily.

Permalink for 'Guest Post: Seinlife from Seinlife'

13:03

Guest Post: Seinlife from Seinlife

» ‎ The Displaced African

Introduction

Make sure this isn't you

5 Mistakes to Avoid as a Foreign Student in the US

1. Working without employment authorization invalidates your status rendering you illegally present in the US. As a student you are eligible to work 20hrs a week during the school year and full time during summer break. Exceptions are made for student who face economic hardships that change their financial situation after enrollment e.g death of sponsor. These students can apply for employment authorization through their schools international student office.

2. Droping out of school has the same effect as no. 1 above. The typical reason for droping out of school is lack of adequated fees. This can be remedied by negotiating with the school on how you will pay for your schooling. Some schools will facilitate a payment plan that will allow you to pay for your fees in installments. Seek out grants and scholarship even if they might only partially pay - better something than nothing! If you have to drop out then make sure you return within 5mths when USCIS is more likely to consider reinstating your student status.

3. Failing to maintain lawful status has huge repercussions that include:
- If you intend to apply for a green card in the future, there will be a possibility it will be denied if you have ever been out of status. There used to be an exception, 245(i), that allowed applicants to pay a fine to have this err overlooked but that was terminated in 2001.
- Jeopardising your approval for the year of practical training you are entitled to after school.
- If you end up having deportation proceedings brought up against you and they succeed, then you will be denied entry into the US for 3yrs or 10 yrs depending on how long you were out of status.

Don't drink and drive

4. Partying too hard is not the reason you are in the US, school is, so simmer down. There is absolutely nothing wrong with partying but just like anything else, you do it too much and it has a domino effect. Too much partying leads to slacking in school, slacking in school means bad grades and potentially being kicked out. Go ahead party but keep it to a minimum and concentrate on what brought you here in the first place. If you can do both equally hard then carry on!

5. Drinking and driving do not go hand-in-hand so cease and desist from ever getting behind the wheel when you have consumed any amount of alcohol. This behavior will most certainly land you in jail and a foreign student with a record is a sure way to shoot yourself in the foot!

Seinlife,

From Seinlife

If you want to know more about the mistakes to avoid when you immigrate abroad make sure you keep in the know by receiving emails or RSS notifications whenever new posts are written.

Permalink for 'Guest Post: Acolyte from My Part of the World'

12:04

Guest Post: Acolyte from My Part of the World

» ‎ The Displaced African

Introduction

1)The West Has Many Distractions: Focus on That Which Is Important Not That Which Is Urgent

2) Acolyte’s fascinating post on the Dutch missionaries (It’s a three parter and it’s amazing)

A lot of people think coming to the West is a light at the end of a tunnel when a lot of the times it's just the begining of another tunnel

The Post Begins Like This……..

Mwangi got in touch with me and asked me to do a guest post. It’s been a minute and a half since I’ve done one, so I dusted off my blogging skills and asked him what he wanted me to blog about and here it is…………

If you could offer anyone migrating over to the West one piece of advice that would make their experience worthwhile what would it be?

Well my answer would be,

“Ask yourself 3 very important questions; Why are you here? What do you want here? How do you intend to get it?”

Why are you here?

Getting to the First World country of choice isn’t an end in itself but a means to an end (Quick note from Mwangi: Hallelujah!Spot on!).

You don’t land at Gatwick, La Guardia, Schipol or Darwin International Airport and find 70 virgins and paradise waiting for you. Au contraire all you have done is gotten past the qualification laps and now the marathon awaits you!

So once again, ask yourself why you are where you are. If all you can say is that you are getting away from the conditions at home be it unemployment, poverty etc then it’s about time you went back to the drawing board and started thinking.

What do you want from your experience abroad?

I’m sure we all remember the old saying, to fail to plan is to plan to fail.

I have met Kenyans who have been out here for over 10 years and we are on the same level. I do know that bad luck happens but if you look at some people it’s obvious that they became complacent with their jobs that could pay the rent and their bills.

Once you fall into that complacence out here you simply become a cog in the machine: just moving but not going anywhere.

If you don’t know what you want you simply aren’t going to look for it. “Life out here isn’t a bed of roses,”, I agree so you have to be aggressive and look out for opportunities no matter what jaded people out here may tell you.

How do you intend to get what brought you out here?

You want the American dream?

That’s great but contrary to public opinion, money isn’t picked on the ground out here. Jobs are hard to come by for Americans let alone foreigners.

Or maybe you came out here to get your degree.

If your fees aren’t being paid; how will you afford school?

Many countries let students work for limited hours per month. Many Kenyans have found out the hard way that these jobs don’t pay enough for fees and upkeep and so hard choices have been made. It took me 3 years to get out here but in taking my time to plan, I got my Master’s degree funded and a cozy monthly allowance that helped me complete my degree in less than 2 years. Had I come out here earlier, rest assured I would still be plugging away.

Take charge of your destiny

Guest Post: Jim from Kenyan Zone

» ‎ The Displaced African

Introduction

1) Open Office

2) Kenyan Zone

To learn more about Open Source click here

Mozilla Firefox logo

Why Open Source Projects will save Kenyan Education?

We are currently living in a technology era. Over the last 30 years, human beings have heavily depended on computers to execute almost everything in their daily lives. The more we keep depending on the technology to execute almost everything in our daily activities, the more likely it is that going back to the past traditional ways of doing things will not happen. As the technology improves, humans have to keep up with it. You may not notice but computers are part of our basic needs. Take a look at what you do everyday and you will see everything relate back to computers.

As Kenya strive to keep up with modern world, a major improvement has already been implented on the education system:free education(Quick note from Mwangi, the free education statement is referring to Kenya)

As the government keeps struggling to offer free education to anyone willing, leaders should focus more on ways to improve the education system. Our education system should never be stagnant, instead, ways to establish modern technologies into the system should be the priority. The way I see it, there should be a 50 computers-per-school campaign.

Ubuntu logo

How is this possible?

As for now, a brand new commercial computer ( including Window ..etc) with all basic needs for an average user goes for $500 (SH 30000 ) or more. Kenyans abroad might see it as decent price but it is always not the same case in Kenya. If you buy 50 commercial based computers (Windows, Mac), you will end up paying more than KSH 2 million without including other necessary software i.e Microsoft office, PhotoShop.

Well the open source community has the answer. A $200 (KSH 14, 000) computer sounds much more affordable to any school in Kenya willing to have a computer library. All you need is KSH 700, 000 to build a lab with 50 PCs.

Last year, there was mass sale at Walmart for a complete Ubuntu based computer. Amazingly, all their stock sold out mainly because of low price. As time goes on, Open Source will conquer the world of Operation Systems. In the next 2-3 years, Ubuntu based computers will rule third world countries. If Kenya invests more in Open Source Products, a lot of money will be saved and Necessary technology will be available to many.

Wordpress

What is worth noting is why a lot of people are leaning toward the Open Source Systems;

-All products are developed by a community of volunteers
-You can modify anything to your needs
-Upgrades are free
-Security issues get fixed quickly
-You get support from thousands of volunteers users
-Softwares are free

As for now, I’m using the following Open Source Products;
-PHPBB (www.kenyanzone.com) > Similar commercial item would cost $150 (VBulletion)
-GIMP > Similar software would retail at $ 800 (Photo Shop)
-Mozilla
-Openoffice.org > Similar commercial software = $ 100 ( Microsoft Office)

Thanks,
-Jim-
www.kenyanzone.com

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Permalink for 'Audio Interview: The Woman Who Entered a Poor, AIDS-ravaged Community and Left It as a Self-Sustaining Banana Exporter'

12:04

Audio Interview: The Woman Who Entered a Poor, AIDS-ravaged Community and Left It as a Self-Sustaining Banana Exporter

» ‎ The Displaced African

Posts like this are why the Displaced African was born and what I pretty much live for.

Fidelis Wainaina

On the 5th of March 2008, an absolute angel amongst men by the name of Fidelis Wainaina died. Aside from being a simply amazing human being (as you will hear in the podcast) what was absolutely amazing about her body of work is that starting with absolutely nothing she helped the constituents of Maseno turn their community from a poor, AIDS ravaged community into a self-sufficient banana exporting constituency that is now on its way to self-created wealth.

Now, sad to say, in this day and age, an event such as her death passed without much mention from the media. However, since I am blessed to have a blog and a means to communicate with Africa and the world, I thought I would do my part to ensure that souls such as hers are never ever forgotten and are in fact celebrated. I also hope that this podcast will help spur on all the people doing good work in Africa and inspire those not in the game of service to dive in.

Before I get to the meat of this post let me give you some very quick tips on how you can help ensure posts such as this reach the most people and have the most impact.

11 Things To Do After You Read This Article

Please do AT LEAST one of the following things after reading this post and/or listening to the podcast:

Email it to all your friends who might be interested in it.

Write your opinions on Fidelis in your own blog (like Sukuma Kenya did )

Link to this article from your blog and share your thoughts on it.

Send this article to your local paper and ask them to do a write-up on Fidelis Wainaina.

Email world wide online publications such as Pambazuka, Black looks, Global Voices Online, Jamati and allafrica and ask them to do a feature to commemorate Fidelis.

Start up your own initiatives like Fidelis’ Maseno Interchristian Child Self Help Group (MICH) and let me know about them so I can interview you too.

Share this article with your friends on Facebook (there is a link that allows you to do so at the end of this post).

Stumble this article and expose it to millions of people all over this world (if enough people Stumble this article around the same time, it can be read by up to 1000s of people within the next 24 hours). There is a link that allows you to Stumble this article at the bottom of the post. If you are not a member of StumbleUpon, make sure you sign up-it’s free. It is one of the greatest websites EVER!

If you are a journalist or film maker or involved in any form of mass media, do a special on her and feel free to reference this post or any of its contents.

Do what you can to get the word out about Fidelis, her work and similar projects.

If you know anyone else who I should interview because of the good work they do, do not hesitate to contact me .And for helping me with this, I thank you a lot.

Fidelis Wainaina 2

Without Further Ado

The first podcast in the history of the Displaced African (yay). Hope it inspires you.

The file is 45 minutes long so feel free to Download it and carry it on your ipod (Download it by right clicking on the ‘Download’ link below the player, selecting “Save File As”/ “Save Target As” and letting the goodness flow from the web to your computer )

Some Quick Notes About the Podcast

1) I understand that some people do not quite agree with the view presented in this interview of why the violence in Kenya broke out - i.e. that a lot of it was a direct attack against Kikuyus as either perceived revenge or to displace them. That’s fine. It’s not the main point of the interview anyway, and we were not physically in Kenya during the violence so we could definitely be wrong.

2) Any notes on how to improve my interview technique or any questions that weren’t fully answered, leave a comment or contact me and let me know.

3) Fidelis’ organization is known as Maseno Interchristian Child Self Help Group (MICH)

4) The exchange rate we were discussing was the US Dollar vs the Kenya shilling. To check out exchange rates, visit the Yahoo currency converter.

5) The Luo name for her was Nyar Okuyu.

Further Information

East African Standard article from August 28 2006

East African Standard interviews Fidelis Wainaina

Yarra Prize Laureates 2006 article

Listen to Fidelis Wainaina give a speech: “On the Front Lines of Poverty” during the Micah Conference 2007: [www.kingsu.ca]

Article regarding her death from Australian organization, TEAR (She was supposed to visit us during this Australian tour…sigh!): [www.tear.org.au]

A short story regarding Fidelis from the ONE Organization: [www.one.org]

Another brief article about her death:

From a European website.

World Evagelical Alliance also mention her death: [www.worldevangelicals.org]

For more information, also check out the Google search results for the term: Fidelis Wainaina

Fidelis Wainaina 3

Please don’t forget to do one of the 11 things listed above as soon as you finish reading this article. And of course, if you enjoyed this podcast and want to make sure you receive updates when I begin doing regular inspirational podcasts, please subscribe to the site for free via either:

a) Email

b) RSS

Be blessed and bless others,

Mwangi

Permalink for 'The Week That Audio Built and Zangalewa'

12:04

The Week That Audio Built and Zangalewa

» ‎ The Displaced African

Hello! Hello! Hello!
I am now declaring this week:

The Week that Audio Built

Brilliant Title for a Week, Mwangi. But Why?

I am glad you asked. This week every single post that I will release will have some audio component to it. This all begins of course with:

The Welcome Message
You will notice on the banner at the very top of the site, there is now a small media player with the words:

Press play to hear a welcome message from Mwangi

I created this little player just so that I had a novel way of promoting and reinforcing what the blog is about and guiding y’all and helping y’all get the most out of the website.

However, the Weirdest Thing
Though I have had the good fortune of being on radio for a very brief period on my life, I still felt very self conscious and nervous about recording the welcome message. In fact after recording five takes I just gave up on trying to record, ” a perfect message wherein I am comfortable,” and decided it was better to put something up ASAP and tweak it as I went along.

Speaker symbol

NB: As I release this I am working on a new version of the welcome message so I should be changing the welcome message very soon, God willing!

So I have decided to get over my self-consciousness over my vocal abilities in the best way I know how:

A Week Where I Do Voice Posts….Well, Not Exactly
Every single post I will do this week will involve my voice in some way shape or form and the posts for this week are divided into two categories:
1) Podcasts
2) Guest posts

Podcast
Tomorrow, I release my first ever podcast (yay!). I recorded it a few weeks back and its about a true-angel-among-men (or rather women) who died a little over a month ago. This is me talking to my mother about this great lady. Please listen, learn and distribute the podcast as much as you can, because she truly is Africa’s own Mother Teresa.

Ipods
Guest Posts
After asking for help last week, I am glad to say some of you gladly obliged. I will be releasing the guest posts that have been sent to me over the course of the week with brief audio introductions for each from yours truly. Feel free to consider me like the blogging MC.

The Hit List

The guests who have blessed me with prose are:
a) Jim, from the forum that feels like your favorite Aunty’s home, Kenyanzone.
b) Acolyte from “My part of the world” (well, it’s his part of the world, not my part, for you see….aaaaahhhhh whatever!)
c) Seinlife from well “Seinlife” where I can actually discuss healthy eating and not look like a loony.
d) Gal Africana representing ‘the Hagen’, Copenhagen that is, in her “search for sanity“.

I truly hope you enjoy and are nourished by the week of festivities I have lined up. See you in the comments section.

If the idea of a week of audio excites you then please subscribe to the site for free via either email or RSS to get the latest audio posts as soon as they are released.

Hope your ears enjoy,
Mwangi

PS: If you claim to have been born in Africa but don’t know who Zangalewa are…..sigh, you missed out man. Enjoy the silliness and the poetry that is Tibeeeeeee….Zangalewa!

Permalink for 'The Day a Bus Outwitted a Man'

12:04

The Day a Bus Outwitted a Man

» ‎ The Displaced African

The following is based on a true story

Capoeira 1

Judging by his tense posture and the way he paced up and down that bus depot, you would think he was waiting for a fight he had trained for all his life. In a sense he had. He had fought off many large-but-not-really-obese women for a place on the cues of bus stations all over East Africa. He had endured the threats of being smeared with feces if he did not produce the five dollars necessary for protection from the street boy mafia that worked bus stops throughout East Africa. And now, 1000s of miles away, he was ready.

The bus depot struck him as rather odd. Unlike the bus depot he was used to that had only three bus stops, this one had close to a dozen bus stops within it, each with their own benches. That didn’t strike him as too odd. This bus depot also had things like timetables in every bus stop and had things like sign boards that declared bus arrival times. The contrast between this and “the African time” he was used to shook him a little bit. What run the risk of almost terrifying him was how calm all the vanilla-complexion fellows were around him. So far they had been nothing but lovely to him, but this he did not understand.

Did they not know the battle they were about to enter into?
Didn’t they know he had been training all his life?
Didn’t they know, that he was going to win?

And so he paced back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, demarcating his route close to perfection like a pendulum waiting for the crack of midnight. Every so often in the middle of his repetitive charge he would peer at a piece of paper written:

888 - Nunawading

Capoeira 2

That was the bus that would get him one step closer to his destiny. No one was standing in his……

888! 888! 888!

Though the bus chugged along at the pace of a tortoise at the Biggest Loser competition, his mind raced faster than a teenager’s libido. His posture changed, his psychology changed, HE changed into……attack mode! He began by adjusting himself to the rhythm of the bus. It’s slow pace irritated him as he was used to the breakneck speed of never-serviced-how-on-Earth-can-they-still-roll buses that roamed the towns of Kenya. But that was OK, the lion merely had to adjust to his prey.

And yet the white people were not moving, what on Earth is…..The bus zipped (well, trotted really but the mind flies when in fight or flight mode) past him and he took off after it. His locomotion only ceased when the bus entered into what his good friend and soon to be professor, Bonniface Mutua Omondi (he was from two tribes and he wanted to be associated with the spirit of grandiloquent intelligence of the lakeside, yawa!) calls ,

“An absolute Kelvin of a stopper” (what temperature had to do with motion, only Newton knows really….)

Perth bus

Now at this juncture you must understand how the weird fellows who lived in the land down under designed their buses. There were two doors, yes, a front door and a back door. But for some weird reason everyone who was meant to leave was leaving through the back door and a couple of people were cuing at the front door (”with more to come,” he thought hurriedly). They were actually cuing as though the front door was the only way to enter the bus.

“Fools!”, he thought as he began to make his way up the steps of the back door. Whenever he encountered an obstacle, or as evolutionary biologists call them, people, he quickly shoulder checked them out of the way in a manner that would make African women blush with pride. He ploughed through the crowd, through obstacle after obstacle until he was eventually nestled firmly in the embrace of 888! 888! 888!Nunawading. The obstacles…eh, people, many of them with internal bleeding at this point, backed away defeated.

Lo and behold, he had been taught well. He was the first passenger in the bus. He turned to face his pale faced accomplices who had brought him to the bus stop. Their jaws were in danger of burrowing through the ground and all the blood had escaped their face and chased their jaw. Obviously they had not seen battle like he had.

Mommy, what is that African man doing?

“I have much to teach them,” he mused smugly.

“Nimebook viti!”, he declared to them before he realized that they didn’t know Kiswahili from French.

“I have booked your seats!” He quickly translated, shaking his head at how on point he was today.

He sprawled himself across a chair that could accommodate two and stretched his leg out across the aisle to rest it on the third seat. Kwa kweli alikuwa amebook (For real! The seats were booked!)

The bus driver slowly made his way towards him. He could smell the driver’s anxiety. I guess he hadn’t seen battle either…..

“That’s odd!” He thought, for someone whose life work was driving these rolling war zones.

“Excuse me sir, what are you doing?”

“I am resting and waiting for my friends to come in.”

“But sir, you enter through the front.”

“Then why do you have two doors?”

“The back seat is for exiting only. The front seat is where you enter and pay for your ticket. Do you have a tic…..”

“Isn’t that what a conductor is for?”

“Buses in this country don’t have conductors. Which country are you….”

“Doesn’t matter! I have booked my seats and none of those people will steal them,” he leered as he stretched his finger across all the little bus stops until he had marked the whole bus depot with his finger.

It was then that our protagonist began to experience an out of body experience. OK, that’s not accurate. It was then that our protagonist wished that he could have leased out his body for the next hour or two and had an out of body experience. For you see, only four other people entered that bus that day. The two “idiots” who had bothered to cue and the fellows from the land of Caucasia who-formerly-called-themselves-his-friends-but-now-had-never-heard-of-him.

The bus driver didn’t know what a straight face was as he explained to him how people enter through the front and pay while the people who want to leave stream out through the back (and yes, some through the front) without any battle taking place between the two.

“What about them?” he mapped out the whole bus depot again.

“They are cuing for other buses!”

“So this bus will just go when it’s close to empty” (his foot was so deep in his mouth, it had come back to be re-chewed as cud)

“Yes!”

“Oh…he he….yaani…oohhh…ok…he he he”….blush..blush…sheepish grin…sheepish grin…bahh bahhhh….hmmm….asalala!

If the walls of the bus could talk they would say,

“Today grasshopper, we outwitted you!”

If he could speak he would ask,

“Je huu ni ungwana” (Is this really civilized?”)

If you enjoyed this little tale and want more invitations to the narratives of my mind, subscribe to the blog via RSS or email to get the latest tidbits and anecdotes first.

Have a blessed Sunday and a great week
Mwangi

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The Displaced African

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