Me I LOve NAirobi REgardless - MILONARE
Got to love them, love them, love them! Haven’t missed them in 10 years. Even flew back to Nai from Jozi for 7s 2005. Took a week off for R&R, catching up with the fiancée and 7s hehehehe.
Man-One and Talin are in SA for the Confed Cup. Seems like they’ve done really well for themselves designing those pit latrines given they holidayed in Dubai less than a month back and both have bought new cars recently. Hmmmmm…. Guess ill be needing other company for 7s.
My Sistoh Ohhhh!
Anyway, Pounding Father (PF) calls me up asking whats the deal. We meet at Junction where we leave our rides and head off to Quins by taxi. Jayzas the queue is long! Anaconda-like long with more twists and turns than an Agatha Christie whodunit. Luckily my sis is there already and has a pal in the queue. I have a complimentary courtesy of my EABL classmate (who I have the hots for lakini she’s engaged) but PF needs to buy a ticket. My sis’ pal Voluptua Vizuri (VV) is there too with her other friend Pweety Pigmy (PP). VV is looking rather fetching in her combat outfit accentuating those curves. PP is also hot lkaini vile height is a challenge her msuri round ass is so low she looks like a Bunsen burner. Anyway, lack of height aint a problem if you indulge horizontally. Amewekewa “Wanted”. Sis gets PF tickets and in we go. Suspect one of the Askaris is a SideB vile he seems to be enjoying frisking jamaas a little too much!!!
Galitos Lays Down the Law
Inside we are greeted by some super-moto chiles in Cop outfits twololo I almost run towards them hands outstretched handcuff-style *Arrest me. Arrest me!* 7 years hard labour bila parole. Do me I do you er.. I mean, throw the book at me (preferably the Karma Sutra). The air is charged with passion and excitement. There are seriously hot mamisos in the joint (and bad ones too…) We catch Kenya sorting some miserable offenders on the pitch and then proceed to the Village. Walahi there is talent in Nairobi. Wameumbwa wakaumbika I unleash an Mbwa Mwitu howl…
Reminisce
I see former-fiancee Tawida and some other gal walking in. Gai she’s ivad vibaya. Yaani she was drop-dead gorgeous when I was with her lakini miracle of all miracles she looks so much hotter now. She flashes me that killer smile that used to take my breath away. Theres a distant, fleeting feeling of womuti (warmth) lakini it passes. Yenyewe Im over her. She comes and hugs me and is off after some polite banter.
Supulicious
Who’s that, Henny’s neice. Yeloyelo (YY) hot like fire, ur my desire, atiyatiya!! Tanktop, low rider jeans salale! Ame-wax so pay tax! She comes and gives my one of those tight hugs pressing her youthful pointed gazongas against my chest. I mutter under my breath, "Down simba, down." Naetin! Glad I have my tight ngothas and jeans on, so bulge is camouflaged… PF is turning green with envy. YY shrugs and gives him a limp handshake and before u know it her phone is ringing and she’s off bila goodbye. Aish, ma-youth watatumaliza! Lakini I notice she’s sagged low rider jeans na thong pia from behind. CRACKs me up I tell you!
PF is on Vodo and Wodo on the rocks. Soon he is stopping each and every mro that passes by. I pull my hyena move: wait for him to be successful with prey and then dash in for a huge bite off the buttock which I rush off to munch on, at a distant hidden corner :-)
The AfterParty
By now the Tusker Cans are having their way with me so we decide to vacate the premises having watched Kenya pulverise some other miserable offenders in the last match of the day. Next stop, Wendys/Maggys/Marys??? Some joint opposite Tacos in tao near Corner House. It has a chick’s name sijui Betty’s. Wathii wa Esssaaayyyide Eastlandoh inna de yard. Amazes me how many hot mamisos Eastlands produces. Gai they are looking nyummy! Half a beer as we indulge in eyecandy halafu its off to the Republic.
Im waiting for PF who dashed out to call his CFA (music is deafening). Two mzhum-zhums ask if they can join me at my table. Wuwi lambs to the slaughter. I indulge them. Pull the usual: indulge the less fly one in mob convo and sparingly talk to the fly one with loads of compliments with disclaimers (e.g. my, you look hot though you also kinda look underage). Two drinks later wako readdyyy!!! Lakini ati one wants me to confirm I have stamina vile they don’t deal unless guaranteed they’ll get theirs. Wuwi ma-youth watatumaliza!!
So I ask for the kind of edivence (LOL) they want. One goes like si its dark in here so I can kagua mambos under the table we see if youre operating toothpick and/or ull mwaga ovyo (in not so many words). Shameless! But I like. And my fone is ringing off the hook. “Nani mwenzangu?” Its DeeDee. Now, DeeDee is girlfriend/wifey material. She’s a ka-long term investment and she’s looking for a polite drink with me as she’s just malizad watching an album launch at Tapas, Village Market. Sophisticated with intelligent conversation the works. Im weighing a ka3some hapa kiplanni vs deep vibe then home alone. I decide to go with… yeah… to be continued.
