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Me I LOve NAirobi REgardless - MILONARE

• June 22, 2009
• 5:31

  safari SHAVENS - Day One

   » ‎ Me I LOve NAirobi REgardless - MILONARE
  safari SHAVENS (Shorties looked so HeAVENly eiSh) – Day One
  Got to love them, love them, love them! Haven’t missed them in 10 years. Even flew back to Nai from Jozi for 7s 2005. Took a week off for R&R, catching up with the fiancée and 7s hehehehe.
  Man-One and Talin are in SA for the Confed Cup. Seems like they’ve done really well for themselves designing those pit latrines given they holidayed in Dubai less than a month back and both have bought new cars recently. Hmmmmm…. Guess ill be needing other company for 7s.
  My Sistoh Ohhhh!
  Anyway, Pounding Father (PF) calls me up asking whats the deal. We meet at Junction where we leave our rides and head off to Quins by taxi. Jayzas the queue is long! Anaconda-like long with more twists and turns than an Agatha Christie whodunit. Luckily my sis is there already and has a pal in the queue. I have a complimentary courtesy of my EABL classmate (who I have the hots for lakini she’s engaged) but PF needs to buy a ticket. My sis’ pal Voluptua Vizuri (VV) is there too with her other friend Pweety Pigmy (PP). VV is looking rather fetching in her combat outfit accentuating those curves. PP is also hot lkaini vile height is a challenge her msuri round ass is so low she looks like a Bunsen burner. Anyway, lack of height aint a problem if you indulge horizontally. Amewekewa “Wanted”. Sis gets PF tickets and in we go. Suspect one of the Askaris is a SideB vile he seems to be enjoying frisking jamaas a little too much!!!
  Galitos Lays Down the Law
  Inside we are greeted by some super-moto chiles in Cop outfits twololo I almost run towards them hands outstretched handcuff-style *Arrest me. Arrest me!* 7 years hard labour bila parole. Do me I do you er.. I mean, throw the book at me (preferably the Karma Sutra). The air is charged with passion and excitement. There are seriously hot mamisos in the joint (and bad ones too…) We catch Kenya sorting some miserable offenders on the pitch and then proceed to the Village. Walahi there is talent in Nairobi. Wameumbwa wakaumbika I unleash an Mbwa Mwitu howl…
  Reminisce
  I see former-fiancee Tawida and some other gal walking in. Gai she’s ivad vibaya. Yaani she was drop-dead gorgeous when I was with her lakini miracle of all miracles she looks so much hotter now. She flashes me that killer smile that used to take my breath away. Theres a distant, fleeting feeling of womuti (warmth) lakini it passes. Yenyewe Im over her. She comes and hugs me and is off after some polite banter.
  Supulicious
  Who’s that, Henny’s neice. Yeloyelo (YY) hot like fire, ur my desire, atiyatiya!! Tanktop, low rider jeans salale! Ame-wax so pay tax! She comes and gives my one of those tight hugs pressing her youthful pointed gazongas against my chest. I mutter under my breath, "Down simba, down." Naetin! Glad I have my tight ngothas and jeans on, so bulge is camouflaged… PF is turning green with envy. YY shrugs and gives him a limp handshake and before u know it her phone is ringing and she’s off bila goodbye. Aish, ma-youth watatumaliza! Lakini I notice she’s sagged low rider jeans na thong pia from behind. CRACKs me up I tell you!
  PF is on Vodo and Wodo on the rocks. Soon he is stopping each and every mro that passes by. I pull my hyena move: wait for him to be successful with prey and then dash in for a huge bite off the buttock which I rush off to munch on, at a distant hidden corner :-)
  The AfterParty
  By now the Tusker Cans are having their way with me so we decide to vacate the premises having watched Kenya pulverise some other miserable offenders in the last match of the day. Next stop, Wendys/Maggys/Marys??? Some joint opposite Tacos in tao near Corner House. It has a chick’s name sijui Betty’s. Wathii wa Esssaaayyyide Eastlandoh inna de yard. Amazes me how many hot mamisos Eastlands produces. Gai they are looking nyummy! Half a beer as we indulge in eyecandy halafu its off to the Republic.
  Im waiting for PF who dashed out to call his CFA (music is deafening). Two mzhum-zhums ask if they can join me at my table. Wuwi lambs to the slaughter. I indulge them. Pull the usual: indulge the less fly one in mob convo and sparingly talk to the fly one with loads of compliments with disclaimers (e.g.  my, you look hot though you also kinda look underage). Two drinks later wako readdyyy!!! Lakini ati one wants me to confirm I have stamina vile they don’t deal unless guaranteed they’ll get theirs. Wuwi ma-youth watatumaliza!!
  So I ask for the kind of edivence (LOL) they want. One goes like si its dark in here so I can kagua mambos under the table we see if youre operating toothpick and/or ull mwaga ovyo (in not so many words). Shameless! But I like. And my fone is ringing off the hook. “Nani mwenzangu?” Its DeeDee. Now, DeeDee is girlfriend/wifey material. She’s a ka-long term investment and she’s looking for a polite drink with me as she’s just malizad watching an album launch at Tapas, Village Market. Sophisticated with intelligent conversation the works. Im weighing a ka3some hapa kiplanni vs deep vibe then home alone. I decide to go with… yeah… to be continued.
• June 09, 2009
• 1:05

  strawBELLY

   » ‎ Me I LOve NAirobi REgardless - MILONARE

  Tags:  beauty  

  strawBELLY (BEauty ako reaLLY down)

  The other day we decided to have a few cold ones at Twamasha (hehehe – it seems this twitter talk is messing me up). Oh, you need to follow me here ----> [twitter.com] sawa? Anyway, so we decide to have a few cold ones on a Sunday evening at Tamasha as the jazz there is really tight! It’s me, Henny and ChairmanM. Having been recently through the dryer with Ching Ching Part 1, I am totally engrossed in my Tusker and the music. On that day, ChairmanM is surprisingly nil by mouth, very unlike him. I suspect his estranged wife is still giving him problems. Henny however is on the prowl! Now, it’s a known fact that whenever a hunter wanders off into the forest in search of prey, it pays to carry along with him a dead dik-dik. That way, if his efforts are fruitless, all he needs to do is to unleash his knife and start sawing away at the dik-dik, his meal guaranteed. Henny always refuses to heed this advice, 99.9999% of the time to his peril.

  
  

  Pewa Mdongera (PM)

  So there’s that ka-doorway from the inside of Tamasha to the outside section with the tum-small car park. The car park where the watchie behaves like those air-hostesses of first class. The ones who swing down the aisle amidst longing looks from economy passengers. They fika the boundary of first class and economy, look at economy guys like miserable offenders and then contemptuously draw the curtain shut, nzwwwiiiiiiip, condemning u to the misery of your economy seat. Yup, that ka-watchie does the same with the gate. The guy infront of you is opened for wide so that his AMG can glide into the parking. As u follow behind with your ka-battered Toyota, nzwwwiiiip, gate shut “Boss, kumejaa.” Aaaaargh!!!

  
  

  But back to the point. The doorway between the inside and the outside area slash carpark is called Pewa Mdongera (PM) cause the chicks looking for loaded guys like to pose around there. Sure enough theres a PM over there looking sizzling wuwi! Sizzle ma-Nizzle!! Five foot 7ish, silky smooth skin, light colour, flat belly readily apparent from tight t-shirt, curvy backside in stark contrast to aforesaid belly. Curves emphasized more by the tight fitting jeans and high heels. Wuwi hata me I saw her, died and went into a state of nirvana!

  
  

  Jisunde ChapChap (JCC)

  So Henny does the usual. Approaches the gal and tells her ChairmanM would like to talk to her but is kinda shy. PM looks at ChairmanM those ones of “Kwani what kind of coward sends his pal?”. She then looks at Henny those ones of “At least this one is man enough to step up to me himself”. Henny is ndani and soon has the digits.

  Two weeks later Im asking Henny how things are going and he’s like he calls her sometimes lakini she’s always giving excuses. Another two weeks later, same story. So Im like “Gimme the digits” and he obliges. So I call her up manwar-style and we have an interesting 15min convo. Seems gals like a guy who is interested but not really interested. Down but not really down. Cant understand them but hey, she agrees to a date.

  
  

  Saidieko Straw (SS)

  So the gal shows up at…. Wait for it…. The Republic aka Kichinjio LOL! I see she’s brought back-up but after a few minutes chit-chat backup is dismissed. Hmmm, seems things will be woop woof! But…. She orders for a Tusker, a glass and a straw. Surely, at my ka-local, in full view of kila-mtu-everyone! Halafu, that ka-hairstyle. Tum-lines with a weird side weave thingy/patch/thingabob. Looks like a giant housefly buzzing next to her ear. Infact, I see some cobwebs huko near the ceiling and almost want to grab her by the legs and use the thingy to clean the webs…

  We are chit-chatting and having a ball but my eyes keep getting drawn to that hair-thingy, in some hypnotic Indian fakir “you-are-under-my-spell” kind of way. Aaargh!

  Needless to say, the night ends abruptly that day.

  
  

  Nakumatt Approach (NA)

  So I get a call from the chick a few days later: “Milo swty. How u? Imagine ur not a gentleman” So Im wondering wassup but not info forthcoming. Eventually she’s like: “By the way, I just finished my shopping at Nakumatt. Si u come pay my bill?” I inform her that Im fine given my Uchumi shopping was done the day before. She hangs up the phone:))