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• September 18, 2007
• 23:59

  opelate

   » ‎ stranded in me
  for the non kyuks/chinese/japs replace l with r. i woke up on the wrong side of the bed but this helped me out, i dont know the author tho'
  
  An American tourist goes on a trip to China . While in China , he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving backhome in the States, he wakes one morning to find his "tool" covered with bright green and purple freckles.Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days. The man returns a couple of days and the doctor says "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it". The man looks a little perplexed and says "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up doc". The doctor answers "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your "tool". The man screams in horror "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion". The doctor replies "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice". The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his tool and proclaims…."Ah yes, Mongolian VD.Vely lare disease". The guy says to the doctor "Yeah yeah, I already know that but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my tool?" The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs "Stupid Amelican docta,always want to opelate. They make more money that way. No need toopelate!" "Oh Thank God!" the man replies. “Yes" says the Chinese doctor " You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money"
  
  

• 23:21

  Satellite Coverage in Africa

   » ‎ White African

  Tags:  Business  

  I found the following map showing satellite coverage of Africa in the Acacia Atlas -2005, part of the International Research Development Center (IDRC). It has a wealth of information on connectivity - satellite, internet and mobile data that many readers will find very interesting.

  
  36 Ku-band satellite coverage of Africa (2003)

  This represents true communication coverage at a fraction of the cost that land lines, especially when you get to the interior regions of Africa that tend to be more remote. The Acacia Atlas is making the case for more access by the private sector into the market.

  “Every square inch of Africa is covered by satellite bandwidth, but restrictive telecom policies stop this from supporting Africa’s development. There are 48 satellites with coverage… over Africa which can be accessed to provide international and national voice calls, broadcasting, data and internet services.”

  We’ve seen a little opening up of the communications infrastructure since 2005, but it needs to continue at an even faster pace. There is no excuse for Africans holding Africa back from growth.

  [PDF download - 10Mb]

  

• 20:01

  3 votes shy: Dems Baucus, Byrd & GOP halt S. 1257, DC Voting Rights

   » ‎ Marian's Blog
  I couldn't believe the news at mid-afternoon today that on a 57 "yes" to 42 "no" voice vote, the U.S. Senate today failed to endorse S. 1257. This bill finally would have given Washington, the District of Columbia its own...

• 17:31

  Why does the government control sugar prices?

   » ‎ Kenyanentrepreneur.com

  Tags:  Kenyan PoliticsBusiness  

  I was reading this story in the Nation on the president’s declaration to increase sugar prices by Ksh 300 per tonne. (O’Kubusu: How $$weet do you like your $ugar?). I understand the political objective (Kibaki is pandering to votes from western province just in time for the election). What I can’t figure out is [...]

• 16:49

  More Corruption?

   » ‎ Rants, Raves & Reviews

  Tags:  Rant  

  
  Sometimes the unlikeliest sources uncover corruption!
  
  Business Daily ran a story about the GOK moving towards issuing new driving licenses. I always wondered why GOK sticks with the old "booklet" system!
  
  Now I know why!
  
  The new cards are expected to save the State at least Sh100 per driver that is spent on printing of paper renewals every year. Philip Langat, a deputy secretary in the Ministry of Transport, says it costs Sh500 to produce one of the red booklets.
  
  Yikes! We have thick textbooks that cost less to produce! We have micro-processors that cost less! We can buy SIM cards for less! We can buy 256 KB flash disks for less!
  
  Or is someone skimming off the top?
  
  

• 13:49

  The Elusive Fourth Province For Mwai Kibaki’s Re-election

   » ‎ You Missed This
  archive
  
  President Kibaki is on the campaign trail and once again he is in Western Kenya, actually for the second time in less than a month. So what is it about western province? Why does the president seem to emphasize so much on Western province in his re-election bid?.
  
  Emerging evidence seems to suggest that some recent critical figures obtained from a very recent poll have been deliberately kept out of the public domain. Those figures, it is believed show for the first time, Raila Odinga neck to neck with president Kibaki. There are even those who claim that Raila Odinga is in fact slightly ahead. Kumekucha cannot verify this information for sure at this time. But what I can verify is that the president’s camp is a little anxious about their candidate’s estimated numbers just now.
  =================================
  
  
  President Moi is no longer a young man he once was (left) but the saddest thing is that just when President Kibaki has placed a lot of faith in the former president helping him to get back to State House, there are a number of things that are visibly wrong with Moi. His judgment is NOT what it used to be, for instance. President Kibaki will pay a very high price, just wait and see. (Read Full story NOW)
  =================================
  Because of those numbers, President Kibaki’s handlers see western province as a key campaign area. They see it as the incumbents’ badly needed fourth province. It is already clear that Kibaki will have a strong showing in 3 provinces where he will easily garner over 45 per cent of the vote. Namely Central, Nairobi and Eastern. Although there are those who argue that Nairobi is cosmopolitan enough to give Kenya’s 3rd president a nasty surprise. Personally I don’t see that happening just yet.
  
  The president’s main challenger, Raila Odinga is looking stronger by the day. Latest estimates show the son of Jaramogi easily capturing a minimum of 45 per cent of the votes in Rift valley, Western, Coast, Nairobi and North Eastern province although the latter with about 200,000 votes in the whole province is only useful in helping a candidate get the mandatory minimum of 25 per cent in 5 provinces required for a presidential candidate to be declared duly elected. Let us not talk about Nyanza for now because Luo Nyanza will vote for Raila almost to a man and the rest of Nyanza has “smelt blood” and seem to be positioning themselves...
  
  Read more
  
  WHY BUY 10, 20 or 30 COMPUTERS WHEN 1,2OR3 WILL DO? DO MORE WITH LESS!!! NO NEED OF CLONES, GENERICS OR REFURBISHED COMPUTERS ANY MORE
  Expand on your existing Office or Home PC by simply adding the NComputing terminals for every user (up to 30 users per PC). This amazing and cost effective technology will save up to 70% on PC procurement and 95% of power consumption. Share applications with all connected users simultaneously. Install out of the box in minutes!!! Visit our website: www.pneumaticskenya.com
  
  All you need To Make Big Money Online while still in Kenya is an email address and a mobile phone
  
  How To Make Serious Money Using Blogs Or Generate Plenty Of Traffic For Your Site. It Is So Easy, Expert Explains
• 13:45

  Has Mwai Kibaki Ever Run A Successful Presidential Campaign?

   » ‎ You Missed This
  archive
  
  That is the question that was posed to Kumekucha this afternoon and I had no option but to answer in the negative. The person posing this philosophical question was trying to answer the nagging question I have been repeatedly posing here. Namely who is the president’s strategist in chief and what are their political credentials? For sure going to Makerere University is one thing, and being streetwise enough to spin a campaign of this magnitude is quite another.
  
  For those who think that the president run a successful campaign in 2002, let me remind you that after the serious near-fatal accident he had, campaign decisions shifted to others and it is people like the late Michael Kijana Wamalwa, Charity Ngilu, Raila Odinga and others who played a key role in his election.
  
  The campaigns that the president oversaw personally was in 1992 and in 1997. In 1992 he was handed probably his most humiliating defeat by Kenneth Matiba who hardly held any campaign meetings to mask his very poor health from the public and yet Kibaki criss crossed the country aggressively campaigning. Kibaki ended up a poor third in those first multi-party presidential elections since independence in 1963.
  
  In 1997, Kibaki came second to Moi but ironically was the main stumbling block to opposition unity which would have comfortably removed Moi from office. Instead he stubbornly stuck to his plan to...
  
  Read more
  
  WHY BUY 10, 20 or 30 COMPUTERS WHEN 1,2OR3 WILL DO? DO MORE WITH LESS!!! NO NEED OF CLONES, GENERICS OR REFURBISHED COMPUTERS ANY MORE
  Expand on your existing Office or Home PC by simply adding the NComputing terminals for every user (up to 30 users per PC). This amazing and cost effective technology will save up to 70% on PC procurement and 95% of power consumption. Share applications with all connected users simultaneously. Install out of the box in minutes!!! Visit our website: www.pneumaticskenya.com
  
  All you need To Make Big Money Online while still in Kenya is an email address and a mobile phone
  
  How To Make Serious Money Using Blogs Or Generate Plenty Of Traffic For Your Site. It Is So Easy, Expert Explains
• 13:43

  Has Former President Moi Lost It?

   » ‎ You Missed This
  archive
  
  Only fools never change their minds. In the wake of rapidly mounting overwhelming evidence, I am now forced to change my position concerning the role and impact retired President Moi will have in the forthcoming polls.
  
  If anything I am now obligated to ask a brand new question; namely, has Moi lost it? Personally I think he has.
  
  Have you seen the former president lately? He walks very slowly and with a limp that he tries very hard to hide (no doubt a result of the knee surgery he underwent as a result of the road accident he was involved in almost 2 years ago.)
  
  But the most telling characteristic that all is definitely not well, is the unfamiliar tired look he carries around with him wherever he goes.
  
  One sign that all is not well is the fact that...
  
  Read more
  
  WHY BUY 10, 20 or 30 COMPUTERS WHEN 1,2OR3 WILL DO? DO MORE WITH LESS!!! NO NEED OF CLONES, GENERICS OR REFURBISHED COMPUTERS ANY MORE
  Expand on your existing Office or Home PC by simply adding the NComputing terminals for every user (up to 30 users per PC). This amazing and cost effective technology will save up to 70% on PC procurement and 95% of power consumption. Share applications with all connected users simultaneously. Install out of the box in minutes!!! Visit our website: www.pneumaticskenya.com
  
  All you need To Make Big Money Online while still in Kenya is an email address and a mobile phone
  
  How To Make Serious Money Using Blogs Or Generate Plenty Of Traffic For Your Site. It Is So Easy, Expert Explains
• 13:38

  Kibaki Badly Needs Kalonzo Musyoka Now

   » ‎ You Missed This
  archive
  
  From my calculations, not only is the Western province presidential vote important for Kibaki but the president also badly needs to woe Kalonzo Musyoka into his camp if he is to stand a chance of defeating the Raila challenge.
  
  This may not be very difficult because Mr Musyoka is very close to former President Moi whom he calls a nationalist. Writers of the Kroll report have painted a totally different figure of the man and if their report is to be believed, the only word to describe Moi that should be preceded by the word national is the word “Looter”. A word or two from Moi would probably be enough to see Kalonzo abandon his presidential ambitions to support a Kibaki re-election.
  
  In fact if Kalonzo were to be his running mate, it will be extremely difficult for Raila Odinga to defeat him for the presidency.
  
  WHY BUY 10, 20 or 30 COMPUTERS WHEN 1,2OR3 WILL DO? DO MORE WITH LESS!!! NO NEED OF CLONES, GENERICS OR REFURBISHED COMPUTERS ANY MORE
  Expand on your existing Office or Home PC by simply adding the NComputing terminals for every user (up to 30 users per PC). This amazing and cost effective technology will save up to 70% on PC procurement and 95% of power consumption. Share applications with all connected users simultaneously. Install out of the box in minutes!!! Visit our website: www.pneumaticskenya.com
  
  All you need To Make Big Money Online while still in Kenya is an email address and a mobile phone
  
  How To Make Serious Money Using Blogs Or Generate Plenty Of Traffic For Your Site. It Is So Easy, Expert Explains

• 11:54

  Untold stories: Black victims of nazi genocide

   » ‎ Black Looks
  Hitler referred to them as “Rhineland bastards” - the hundreds of children born of German mothers and African fathers. The men were African soldiers deployed by the French army in Germany’s Rhineland after WW1. Finally a memorial is to be erected outside the home of one Black victim of the Nazi holocoust giving [...]

• 8:20

  Today I’m Relaxed Finally!

   » ‎ Mount Kirima
  After weeks of agony last night was absolute bliss. The obnoxious bats that have been keeping me awake in the evenings have finally vacated although it had nothing to do with my desperate measures but rather we had to call in a professional exterminator – Rentokill who apparently did some voodoo which had those flying [...]

• 8:11

  Funding A Start-up

   » ‎ For Love and Money
  Funding A Start-up

• 7:13

  Tuesday Tirades......................

   » ‎ My part of the world.......
  I was reading the news under my blogger dashboard when I came across this. Yes I'm boring like that, I actually do read some of those articles and news, geek focussed as it is. But the slide show does make for fun viewing when you are bored.
  
  Is it poor advertising or the fact that nobody in the world cares that the Women's World Cup is on? Over the years women have complained that their sports are given no support whatsoever, but when they are given a platform to perform on the support they give each other is negligible. On the other hand I guess since women in general aren't large fans of support I shouldn't be surprised, look at the WNBA, they play to half empty stadiums and it bleeds money from every orifice.
  
  Today evening after work, I go to the parking garage and walk into my car. I sigh with relief, turn the key in the ignition, everything turns on but the car; I try again and I get the same result. Just a click, nothing else. I had to call my brother and ask him to pick me up and give me a ride home. From the symptoms I guess my alternator is shot, if it's anything else then there goes my next paycheck. That's why I miss Kenya, if your car acts up, you take a matatu and that's that. Here it is a whole 'nother ball game, tow trucks, jalopies breaking down and garages robbing you blind, urgh!
  
  I have the feeling that I will end up working half day tomorrow, there goes one more of my sick days. Here is the ironic thing, as a joke we went to see fortune tellers with my sis and bro, the lady who told me my fortune asked me if I was thinking of fixing my car. I said no, seems she was one day ahead of schedule!
  
  Here's to matatus and other cheap forms of transportation!
  Ps: I'm too tired now but I do need to blog about an incident we all encounter, meeting someone and everything going spectacularly until this person does/has a big deal breaker for you in terms of what you dont like in a partner. Anyway that is a post for another day.......

• 5:15

  hot 96 advertising gimmick?

   » ‎ stranded in me
  got an email with this dude. apparently he was posing jana morning!!! guys u have to listen to hot 96!! they seem desperate for audience!! hehehehe.. anyone know who this is??? this is at the junction of state hse rd and woodlands road. he's willy is shrivelled!! reminds me of a certain missy song 'dont want no short @!$& man!!!! how much do u think he got for this? my guess is not too much seeing that he aint athletically built, balding, short...
  
  is this jimmi gathu thinking out of the box? a brother has got to raise ratings one way or another huh?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• 1:27

  Rights Issues - For Non-Shareholders

   » ‎ Rants, Raves & Reviews

  Tags:  Review  

  OCHL RIGHTS ISSUE: PURCHASE OF RENOUNCED RIGHTS BY NON-SHAREHOLDERS
  
  The potential investors who are currently not shareholders will have to buy the renounced Rights from the Secondary Market. Please note this ended on 14 Sep 2007.
  
  The following sums up the general process flow:
  1. Non-shareholders should approach their Agents and, if they are first time investors, they will be requested to open CDS Accounts as per normal procedures; Completed
  2. The investors may then order and buy the Rights from the secondary market; Completed
  3. The new investors will then raise payment for the Rights through their Agents; Payments due by 28 Sep 2007.
  4. The Agents will deliver full details of the sellers and buyers as well as the payment for the Rights to KCB. The details so submitted should be in the form of schedules disclosing the following;
  a. Full Names;
  b. National ID or Passport Number;
  c. Full Contact Details;
  d. Number of Rights transacted;
  e. Payment made/due; and (in respect to the seller);
  f. The shareholder’s member number;
  5. KCB will observe all the banking and batching procedures before delivery to CRS;
  6. CRS will debit the seller’s (existing shareholder’s) account as well as create and credit the new investor’s account with the transacted Rights.
  
  If you are still unsure, please contact Rina Karina of Faida Securities.

• 1:21

  Unleashing the media oligopoly on Raila

   » ‎ Kenya Imagine

  Tags:  election 2007  

  Faisal Aideed's reaction to an article in the East African Standard.
  
  But the question is , will Kenya buy into this clever propaganda? Sadly, history tells us that our people are indeed gullible and given the particular concentration' of media ownership in the hands of pro-establishment operatives and sympathizers ,we can expect more of similarly crafted "neutral" pieces in all the dailies and their affiliated non-print outlets that will sell Kibaki's re-election through negative campaigning against his opponents.
  
  Read more here.

• 1:08

  going international...

   » ‎ stranded in me
  an ecstatic me has just found out i made to john irvins interpretation of Ernest Hemingway's "Garden of Eden"... finally my acting skills will be out there for a larger audience. blogging has put my thoughts out to a global audience but now its time for the world to meet, Serah wihaki the actress/ tv producer/ wants to be a mummy. the way i pictured things was it would be a film i'd written and/or produced that would be released to the global audience not one that i'd acted in. but believe the joy in my heart try as i may i cant express... maybe i dont want to i want to selfishly hold onto it n feel it in its entirety.. next will be i move i write and/or produce. watch this space.

• 0:36

  Dandaudu

   » ‎ Black Looks
  Last August 18 men were arrested in Bauchi State, Nigeria on charges of sodomy. The charges of sodomy have now been dropped and changed to “indecent dressing” or cross-dressing and “vagrancy” under the Sharia law which carries one year in prison or 30 lashes. Despite the constant refrain that [...]

• 0:13

  being woman

   » ‎ stranded in me
  what does it mean to be a woman?
  it means
  1. i can change my mind a million times not because im indecisive but because i can, im woman.
  2. i can decide to retire to that part of me that wants to wander around in fantasy world and when u try to have a conversation and i shoot that look of 'dare you', you'll call it pms or whatever terms men come up with when at a loss.
  3.it means love me as i try to figure out who i am, dont bother too much with the 'you've changed' speech just love and adore the beautiful creature in your presence, understand that im still learning stuff about me so its imposible for you to completely know me. yeah even though we can finish each others sentences (which i think is overrated if i can finish ur sentences doesnt that show ur boringly predictable? what happens 10 yrs down the line? will i get the sentences out of your mind??)
  4.7000 pairs of shoes are not enough if they're still making them then im going to buy them!
  5.periods, cramps, mood swings, pms, pdd or whatever is something we invent when we dont feel like hanging out with ur boys, cooking, sex or whatever it is we're trying to get out of. coz believe me cramps are painful (some waaaayyyy so) but we've had periods since we were like 11 so by now we know some tricks) but when we use this excuse we want the same amount of letting of the hook, we've been getting.
  6.im i fat? only answer to that question is ofcourse not darling your the most beautiful woman, followed preferably by sex.
  7.shopping? great!! for me, u r the nag that tags along leave me your credit card/wallet run to the nearest bar or whatever you like to do when im done i'll meet with you and pls dont call me unless i'd called and asked for something and you want directions to where am.
  8.yeah so we read maps upside down, do you think its easy doing all the thinking? being right all the time? its about time you found something you can be good at!! ps it was agreed that coz the other genders' ego was bruised we would all pretend to be bad at something so they can look good.
  9.breakfast in bed is more romantic when you do it..
  10.your keys/socks/wallet/copmputer or whatever it is your looking for is right where you left it.

• 0:08

  Sabbatical

   » ‎ Rants, Raves & Reviews

  Tags:  Review  

  COLDTUSKER needs a break. A long break. On 23 Sep 2007, coldtusker shall hibernate for a few weeks.
  
  Please feel free to post questions/comments since there may be periods where coldtusker needs a cold one & shall break his (temporary) vow of silence.
  
  Coldtusker has played with the idea of entering politics because he is tired of most Kenyan politicians who tend to be greedy, silly, thieving, conniving, sniveling, etc.
  
  He thought he would be a breath of fresh air but like many of this ilk, he is pragmatic, & feels better suited to work behind the scenes. Since politics in Kenya is based on tribal lines & Kenyan voters have not matured enough to place "Nation" & "Merit" over tribe, Kenyans will continue getting the get the government we deserve.
  
  I hope my vote counts toward the good guys.
  
  Cheers!

• 0:06

  Genesis of Kenya Police's Utumishi Kwa Tumbo!

   » ‎ assidous
  KENYAN POLICE
  
  KAMANDE PETER KINYANJUI
  
  PAYSLIP MONTH: JUNE 2007
  
  Basic Salary 15,000.00
  Hse allowance 0
  Gross salary 15,000.00
  Deductions
  Magereza SACCO 3000.00
  NHIF 320.00
  NSSF 200.00
  PAYE 2740.00
  Loan repayment 3260.00
  KCB LOAN 2250.00
  
  
  Total Deductions 11770.00
  
  
  Net Pay 3230.00
  
  I rest my case!