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19:38 Nimechizi kiasi…
» Me, Life & Everything time: 0338hrs length: jijazie mood: excited stars: mob at: home level: tisa track: unwell - matchbox 20. Siiku nzima Nakaa nikizubaia paa Nikifanya urafiki na ma-shado kwa uta Usiku mzima Naskia ma-sauti zikini-tilia Ati lazima nipate kudoro Kwa saabu keshoo inaeza angua mazu-ri Mastrongs Ninaskia kaa ninaelekea Ku-Alam Sijui hata kwanini Sija-chizi, ni vile tu siko poa kiasi Najua saa ii huwezi scope Lakini, kaa tuu kidogo na pengine utajionea Upande ule mwingine wangu Sijachizi, ni vile [...]
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19:11
Reed Hastings: Founder of Netflix
» Kenyanentrepreneur.com For those outside America — Netflix is an on-line movie rental company that has become very popular in the last few years. Why is it popular? because it’s convenient to use and they apply no late fee’s on any of their DVD’s. You simply sign up for the service on-line, order your DVD’s [...]
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14:23
Secrets From Kibaki’s Inner Circle
» You Missed This archive
Over a long period of time, this blog has gained a large following and one of the huge advantages we have today is our large army of trusted informers who give us information that many readers usually mock here only for the same information to be proved correct a few months later.
I am eternally grateful to all you friends of Kumekucha out there, because you are the ones who make us different from the rest.
I have just received some very disturbing confirmation of a story I have been pursuing for some time. Indeed I have let the cat out of the bag several times in this blog.
But first let us start with a big shocker that contradicts popular belief.
Contrary to popular belief the power brokers around President Kibaki are not worried about a Kalonzo Musyoka or Raila Odinga presidential candidacy. The person they fear most is Musalia Mudavadi.
The kitchen cabinet – read Martha Karua, Njenga Karume and the rest who are known – are comfortable with any other person taking the ODM ticket apart from Mudavadi. To start with intelligence reports have indicated that former President Moi has silently been backing Mudavadi mainly due to family historic ties which makes Moi trust him a lot. Remember that Mudavadi would be in parliament today had he left Kanu with the others, but he stuck with Uncle Dan, knowing full well what the consequences would be.
Mudavadi is regarded a moderate and he would easily fit into Moi’s political game plan (which he did not achieve with the Uhuru project in 2002). Mudavadi is easily acceptable to all communities due to his character and this is what has sent Kibaki’s men and women into a major panic.
A contest between Kibaki and Mudavadi would complicate Kibaki’s already well-calculated chances of being re-elected due to Kikuyu phobia amongst other communities. This is a candidate that can easily overcome the tribal obstacle. With Moi’s backing (read the Kalenjin vote) and other major communities, Mudavadi would trounce Kibaki without breaking into a sweat.
My impeccable inside information has it that panic reached fever-pitch for Kibaki’s men and women when it emerged that Mudavadi’s camp (Musyoka and RUTO) are favouring consensus as a means of choosing the ODM candidate. Ruto knows that he can’t win the ODM ticket but he projects himself as a serious candidate in order to use the Kalenjin vote as a bargaining chip with either Mudavadi or Musyoka.
Kibaki’s inner circle believe that Ruto is more likely to cut a deal with Mudavadi than Musyoka for obvious reasons. A Mudavadi-Ruto team would have a clean sweep in the vast Rift Valley and the whole of Western. Ruto has the solid backing of Kalenjins and many Maasais and these are the dorminant tribes in Rift Valley. The team would fully lock out Kibaki from the two provinces, which have too big a portion of the votes to ignore. In order to win the Presidency, the Mudavadi-Ruto team would then reach out to other communities to fill the basket. In a strange twist of fate, Moi and Ruto – the two political rivals fighting for control of the Kalenjin vote – would find themselves both heartily supporting Mudavadi as a presidential candidate.
A Mudavadi presidency would ensure that Moi’s future and that of his family and their vast wealth would be in safe hands. The Kibaki administration initially mistreated Moi but warmed up to him for survival when LDP started rocking the boat. Intelligence reports show Moi – being a schemer and professor of politics – opted to fake a warm relationship with Kibaki for his own survival – but he did not forgive what the regime did to him at first. Those who know Moi know very well how he likes public limelight and hates humiliation. He decided to swallow the bitter knowing very well that his time for revenge would come. A Mudavadi candidate against Kibaki offers Moi the sweetest revenge of his life. Being young and well educated, Mudavadi would appeal to the local and international community and he is more likely to remain in State House for 10 years. Ruto would be of course eying the seat after Mudavadi since he is also young.
The above scenario is what has made Kibaki’s men start wetting their trousers five months before the General Elections. They have now hatched a counter scheme to spoil the Mudavadi party in the event that ODM picks him. Remember what happened in Nigeria? We might see a repeat of it here.
One of the key suspects on trial over the Goldenberg scandal and former Treasury PS, Dr Koinange, has been approached by Kibaki’s inner circle to help them in their scheme with a promise that the case facing him will be struck out (and he will be cleared by the High Court like Saitoti was). But on condition that he agrees to testify against Mudavadi so that the state nails him.
It is believed that a Mudavadi file on his role in Goldenberg has already been opened at CID headquarters and everything is in place so that the players move fast – as soon as Mudavadi is named the ODM candidate. The man will suddenly find himself facing corruption charges in court. And suddenly the Kibaki administration will look good for prosecuting big fish.
And Ruto’s land case? The case has deliberately been slowed down for the past four years by a senior member of the President’s Kitchen cabinet. In the event that Ruto is to become the presidential candidate (which intelligence reports shows is highly unlikely) or Mudavadi’s running mate, his case will be fast-tracked and he might find himself behind bars during the election period. So, Mudavadi and Ruto would be busy fighting court battles (or be in jail) as President Kibaki moves his campaigns to a new level.
Another issue that is giving Kibaki’s men sleepless nights is Kibaki’s health. Which is a subject that this blogger has talked a lot about here, because I know the old Kibaki and the imposter that Kenyans are seeing now is NOT him.
The Kibaki Kenyans see in public is kept going by strong medication and the man is never himself. The car accident he had and the stroke that was triggered by the accident still weight heavily on Kibaki’s health. The man Kenyans see in public is not in control of his faculties and he survives by the grace of God and drugs. Before he ventures out in public, doctors have to prepare him for the task ahead by administering drugs. This is what Kibaki’s inner circle would never allow the public to discover. They want the public to think that the man is as fit as a fiddle.
There was a curious incident recently when Livestock Minister Munyao continued giving a speech and showering praise on Kibaki at a function only to be alerted that the man he was praising had left his seat. President Kibaki had stood up from his seat to use the toilet facilities behind the presidential dais without Munyao’s knowledge. The president frequently does this during public functions due to the affect of the heavy medication he takes. Although no one can blame President Kibaki for his ill health, it is wrong for the public not to be told the truth and his inner circle have been pushing him to run for a second term. In fact there are those who would argue that the country is in chaos because our president has some serious health issues and is not himself. With all the pressure around him, one can only sympathise and understand whay the first lady was so anxious to reduce his heavy schedule in Mombasa in that controversial incident in 2003.
Horror of Kenyan with female sex organ sharing cell with men at Kamiti Prison
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14:05
Kenyan Computer Game Maker in the News
» White African I had a chance to chat with Nick Wadhams, a freelance journalist living in Nairobi, when I was there last month. He had wanted to discuss tech issues in Africa, especially the gaming world. Maybe it was because of our joint love of computer games, or because he’s a natural conversationalist, but we hit it off all the same.
Since I had done a piece on a Wesley Kirinya, a Kenyan game maker, he had tracked me down. We talked about the future of game designers in Africa. His piece is now published, titled “A ‘Lonely’ Inventor Creates a Computer Game in Africa”:
By Western computer game standards, Kirinya’s effort is awkward and slow; there is no music, no storyline and no character development. But the game is unique because Kirinya created the engine that powers the software’s code, rather than downloading one of the many serviceable engines available on the Internet. The only element that he farmed out was some of the graphic design to a Czech programmer for $600.
(Read the whole story)
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The Nairobi Star Analysis From Email
» You Missed This archive
Today I had an email conversation with two friends concerning The Nairobi Star that I am sure will make interesting reading and that is why I have reproduced the private emails here. My comment is the last one.
Mr Fred Said;
Have you guys had a look at the inaugural edition of Nbi star? When Kiss /Classic fm started the promo for this paper,i was thought it was going to be a mainstream newspaper with important news.Shock on me! Its a mere tabloid that should cost 10sh.Look @ the headline! My word-sorry, Kiss,stick to radio.
Mr Richard replied;
50,000 print-run on a launch can be misleading for a publisher.
I expect the Catholic Church to sue and raise hell with the splash: “I helped nuns procure abortions”-Hon.Dr.Kibunguchy
Am of the same opinion-though they claim to have done some research beforehand. But hold on, who is their target market? Remember it is circulating in Nairobi city and outskirts! As Quarcoo puts it:”...this is a magazine in a newspaper form”. Then why daily yet you don’t have your own press? Quarcoo believes that all he ‘touches’ must turn into gold –let’s wait and see. Kiss was a hit within weeks but remember overheads for print are quite high and unpredictable.
This is a different ball game and only time will tell. Am told some South Africans have pumped in good money!
But what do Nairobians prefer reading? Internet pornography, politics, business – what do you read?
Don’t write them off yet, though they should have talked to Matiba & Co. before plunging into the murky waters of publishing.
Mr Fred Replied;
Ma broda this nairobi star thing is a tabloid not a newspaper,they have missed the point-forgetting that this is Africa.What these guys wanted to is to copy the SUN in UK,which am told is also the most selling newspaper.Tabloids which basically involve kiss n' tell scandals can't work here. They appeal to under 25's most of whom are broke anyway and would rather heng' than buy silly papers.And anyway,there are juicier stories on the internet and e-mail 4wds at no cost!!
Mark u the 2nd or 3rd page of the SUN newspaper is always featuring some nude celebrities, and this is why people buy (i happen to know that courtesy of the lib in the office-everyone here glances at the first few pages of the SUN and not to read as such).
Blunder no.1 is that they exploited young ladies to the max. All the way from Lang'ata Rd to City centre,I saw these young chicks waving placards advertising this tabloid. They wore skimpy thumb size minis,bimbo boots and tumbo cuts,K-street style..(imagine if you're with your parent!) They don't seem to know that Kenya is a conservative and deeply religious nation.
Mr Richard Replied;
Am mesmerized at your knowledge on media, marketing and related. I forget you are alumni of Daystar.
Nairobi Star is targeting a niche of the market that buys sex, lives sex and thrives on sex.
Do you watch Channel O? Do you read Pulse on Fridays? (Incidentally the first Pulse editor now works at Nairobi Star).
One thing for sure-I don’t expect our Dad to start reading it anytime soon.
Fred, sex sells-have you gone to any motor vehicle launch? In fact most products use the sex angle including mobile phone providers – chakaza, sambaza, bamba, etc.
Ask Kumekucha if he remembers a magazine called Men Only in the eighties. Circulation was crazy but advertisers pulled out-“...that magazine has too much pornography”.
Kumekucha says;
I think what these guys have done is pure marketing genius. The only big question is will it work?
I think too many Nairobians were expecting another Nation and that is the biggest marketing mistake The People Daily made. There can only be one Nation and the way to beat them is to position yourself differently in the minds of the people (which is what The Nairobi Star has done). I hope I am not getting too technical marketing-wise.
There are a few facts here. Firstly sex sells..a lot. Secondly people will always pretend to be disgusted but will buy the newspaper anyway and thirdly, I expect very high readership from women-a segment of the market that Nation have been unsuccessfully trying to get for years.
Something else you guys don't know. Rupert Murdoch (the most successful media mogul in the world) owns several prestigious dailies which lose money or just break even but he makes over 70% of his profits (I can get you the figures for the 90s) from his tabloids. I am sure the situation has not changed today except that he is also now making more and more of his revenue from the web (this guy always sees far). Murdoch's highest grossing newspapers have always been The Sun, News Of The World (Sunday version of the Sun) and a weekly tabloid he used to own in the US called The National Star (later renamed "The Star" All tabloids.
The last tabloid-style publication Nairobians saw was the 10 bob "Update" and the challenge for The guys at KissFM is to create a new image for tabloids in the minds of Kenyans.
My verdict?
I think this newspaper is going to be such a roaring success that the powers that be will feel threatened and try to ban it on the pretext of the sex thing. Business is very dirty sometimes. In one swoop Quarcoo and company have neutralized Nations' biggest strength--a countrywide newspaper distribution system built over many years that is unmatched.
If I was at The Nairobi Star I would watch my back and the guys at the dailies very carefully.
That my friends is my expert opinion.
warmly,
Kumekucha
P.S. Richard mentions a very important point about advertisers. It will be interesting to see what kind of advertisers this new newspaper targets. In other parts of the world mainstream advertisers usually shy away from tabloids because of image problems. But Rupert Murdoch has proved that there is much more money to be made from circulation if somebody can get it right.
Horror of Kenyan with female sex organ sharing cell with men at Kamiti Prison
Are you a Kenyan? Do You love your country? Join in this noble campaign to change things. Do something instead of just complaining.
Discover how the exciting new video web conferencing can make your business or web site much more profitable today.
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10:36
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» Kenyanentrepreneur.com -
10:35
I Hate Getting Hustled…
» Kenyanentrepreneur.com This woman I work with has gotten involved with what I believe is a classic pyramid scheme and she’s trying to get me involved. Initially, I tried to be polite about listening to her talk about it, but now she wants to introduce me to this head schemer and I guess they’re both going to [...]
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10:05
my contribution to the iPhone hype
» Kikuyumoja's realm Someone pls put a 5mpx cam + decent Xenon flash on the iPhone - and I will sell my WinXP notebook, move to the USA and become one of those Apple disciples.
The iPhone keyboard alone is reason enough for me to sit here and sigh in astonishment.
Nevertheless, I will not wait for the 2nd generation to come out, but instead go and buy that other gadgetimoja that goes by the name of Nokia N95. Because - contrary to the full price others have to pay for a new phone - we over here in Germany are able to sign for two phone line contracts for about 10,- EUR/month each (for 24 month) and get a subsidized phone for free. The only “problem” is that most users feel a bit uncomfy about the fact that they are actually having 2 inactive phone lines / SIM cards waiting in the drawer on which they are sometimes even having free airtime & sms packages bundled with…
[update]:
…but the battery life of the iPhone making calls wasn’t great; we measured it at 4 hours and 3 minutes in our first test and 5 hours and 1 minute in our second….(…)…. is significantly shorter than the LG Prada and the N95. …(…)…. For most users (such as commuters), we’d reccomend that you charge it every day. (source)
Now that’s the same thing others have said about the N95 before….however - just as everyone will be quite aware that any such gadget won’t have great battery runtimes with all these gizmos onboard - the N95 at least has an exchangeable battery. And a better camera with video recording. And GPS. And no stupid network limitations.
And… :-)
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9:21
Urgent need for Sub Cable
» bankelele Whether it will be EASSy or TEAMS, the urgent need for East Africa to have a submarine cable will become apparent within a few years.
The 2006 merger of Intelsat and PanAmSat, creating the worlds' largest satellite provider, will have profound implications for Africa which is estimated to be 80% dependent on satellite communications. Higher costs can be expected from the giant company once existing agreements expire and ISP's will have no choice but to pass these own to consumers.
The government of Kenya broke away from other African countries (in EASSy) and has committed to the TEAMS project, budgeted at $100 million. It committed to pay $15 million this financial year and has contracted Standard Chartered bank to raise additional funding from ICT operators in the the private sector.
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8:03
Monday Moanings Part VI
» My part of the world....... I was reading Mocha's post about how women tend not to be honest with each other when it comes to appearance and then linked to this picture on Archer's blog. This picture brought back a memory from way back when. There used to be this chic I who was once nick named Pirelli by my pals for obvious reasons, it didn't help that she used to have an attitude; so this really spurred on my pals. I recall once she was sitting somewhere with her boyfriend when the crew came over to her, said wsup and then one of the dudes asked, "What beer do you drink? I want to get a big gut like yours, si you hook me up?" Yes teens can be cruel. After that diss her boyfriend asked them to lay off her which they did, thank God. But this whole Pirelli memory got me to thinking. Since society has placed such rigid standards for women ie measurable. For a woman to be seen as hot, she actually has to be hot; attitude can only take you so far in most cases.
Is it me or are British folk always typecast as rude, obnoxious and terse whenever they are judges on American reality TV shows?
I have never understood women. Why is it when you are feeling a chic and try to hook up with her either circumstances don't work out or she just acts difficult? Just wait till you move on with your life, the chic pops up from out of the blue; telling me the way she has moved into a new apartment and she may need some company. If only I could lose my lofty principles and swoop in like some individuals who will remain anonymous.
After reading this article in the Standard, I guess some of these stereotypes about some tribes performance in bed have some foundation after all.
There is this store that is a few blocks from where I live that reminds me of Kenya for the strangest reason. You see this supermarket is loved by mexicans, poor black and white folk as it is full of cheap name brands you have never heard of and will never see in any other store. So you can tell that it isnt the classiest store you'll go to. Anyway the inside of the store has this earthy, musty smell that is a mixture of the many diferent kinds of foods (both mexican and american) that remind me of those supermarkets in downtown Nairobi e.g Ukwala and co. Interesting thing is that my brother has been to that store and he said the exact same thing! I almost get the feeling at times if I close my eyes and step out and open them, I'll see hawkers selling fruit on the ground, touts touting for passengers and the odd shady character who'll stride beside me; open his jacket to show me a phone (most probably stolen) and say, "Msee, utabuy phone?" For some reason quite a few of those shady types used to think that buying a stolen phone was high on my list of priorities.
Oh and in case you were wondering, for some convoluted reason; the herculean load at work has been lifted but just for a short while. So enjoy the long post, another one may not come in sometime.
Ps: I am working on the Unflushable post.........
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6:00
So Formidable The Woman …
» tHiNkEr'S rOoM As I have said time and time again, formidable is the individual whose construction was overseen by XX chromosomes. Scholars, philosophers and idlers have applied themselves from time immemorial to the problem of understanding the woman. They failed. It is no coincidence that in Chess the Queen has free reign ...
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3:28
Tuesday Randomness
» My Life is...Mochalicious! Weekend was deadlie….unfortunately, no pics! So the smoking ban in the UK is on. People must be feeling the pinch that now you cannot smoke anywhere in an enclosed public space all over the UK. For me its a huge YYIIIPPPEEE…the days of going back home smelling like an ashtray are gone. I used to hate [...]
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2:08
:::Safaricom IPO:::
» RIBA CAPITAL 
:::Safaricom IPO:::
Safaricom has a subscriber base of some 6.8 Million clients and a turnover of Kes: 47Bn.
It’s also the most profitable company in East Africa and is currently owned jointly by Telkom Kenya Ltd (60%) and Vodafone Kenya Ltd (40%).
The Govt. intends to sell 25% of its shareholding to the public through an IPO and transfer the reminder to the PS to the Treasury,
The Government is currently running ads on the local papers for:
Lead transaction advisers
Legal Advisor
PR Consultant
Advertising Consultant
Receiving bank
And Share Registrar.
This comes hot on the heels of the Kenya Re IPO slated for 18th July meaning the Govt. is serious o ensuring that both these stocks are listed by election time.
This means the Govt. is opting to raise election funds by way of divesture as opposed to borrowing money either locally or internationally.
The deadline for these services is 16th July.
Finally the Safaricom IPO is seriously on the fast track, though let’s not forget that even Kengen’s second offer had reached this stage before it as shelved earlier in the year.
But all said I think the government is putting undue pressure on the Kenya Re IPO as most investors would prefer to save their money for Safaricom.
:::NSE Price List:::
Seems the NSE wants to start selling its price list and all other data which is currently available free of charge. This means that to access the daily price list we might be required to part with a few shillings.
I am totally against this idea, it’s similar to companies selling their financial reports to investors which just goes further to sideline the small investors especially those streaming into the NSE for the first time.
I really don’t think that the NSE has reached a critical mass of investors to warrant sale of data generated by daily trading.
Why would an individual investing Kes: 10K spend Kes: 500 on accessing data and a further 2.02% of their money on paying commissions both at sale and purchase. Not forgetting the 5% on withholding tax for dividend payment.
The NSE should not be a rich man’s club and its data just like financial reports and quarterly published reports should be a legal requirement to be provided to the public for free.
Imagine the risk of exposure to insider trading and speculation that will surround the market.
:::CNBC comes to the market:::
Plans are seriously underway to bring a Kenyan version of CNBC into the country as soon as within three months. KBC is already running the South African version to prepare the local investing community for the launch of a free Kenyan CNBC channel.
This will go along way to distribute information further and make the NSE listed company’s info. Widely accessible.
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1:57
I don’t have much to say
» Farmgal I’m itiching everywhere, I think am allergic to something but I don’t know what!
Pritons aren’t helping so me might visit my doctor today
Alafu Ferrari won the 1st and 2nd places on the weeknd. Lakini Lewis still leads although he managed the 3rd position.
Good day peeps!
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Safaricom IPO and other opportunities
» bankelele Safaricom IPO: The calendar is on for the sale of 25% of Safaricom shares to the public and the government of Kenya (who are yielding part of their 60% ownership) have advertised for a lead transaction advisor, lead sponsoring broker, (4) co-sponsoring brokers, legal advisor, reporting accountant, PR firm, advertising consultant, receiving bank, and a share registrar for the IPO. Details at investmentsecretary@treasury.co.ke D/L is 16 July. There have been complaints about firms offering such work for free to gain prestige
Safaricom call center. The company is also seeking to outsource customer service for prepaid subscribers to an external firm (Current traffic ranges from 10,000 - 20,000 calls per day). Details from dngobia@safaricom.co.ke and D/L is 11/7
other happenings
Pipeline finance: The Kenya Pipeline Company seeking financing for the Nairobi-Mombasa and Nairobi-Western Kenya (Nakuru, Kisumu, Eldoret) segments amounting to Kshs. 7.5 billion ($107) million over the next 2 years. D/L is 31/7
Housing: The National Housing Corporation offering 890 3-bedroom flats in Langata phase II ranging from 3.9 to 4.1 million each ($55,000 - $58,000). The corporation is also selling 38 maisonettes in Kiambu phase ii at between 3.2 and 3.4 million shillings.
Barclays
- Good : The bank has hired external debt collection agents – outsourcing a time consuming tedious function.
- Not good : The only thing worse then taking a personal loan to buy shares is using a credit card to buy shares. An investor is already in the hole, and needs his shares return 30% a year, just to break even. Using a debit card may be ok though, but factor in the card fees.
Education
- New Aga Khan University campus to be set up in Nairobi
- Moi University to soon offer a masters degree in banking & finance
Media
- Desperate Housewives start next month on KTN. Hope they don’t butcher the show like they did with the Soprano’s (heavily edited, shown at 11 PM on Sunday night and often out of sequence)
- The Naiorbi Nairobi Star (new daily newspaper from KISS FM team ) hit the streets today with a lot of fanfare, but does it have legs?
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0:18
KHALWALE'S TIRADES ON EQUITY
» assidous To open a bank account with Kenya's big three banks KCB, BBK or StanChart is a job that calls for sympathy and lots of effort. One is asked for a plethora of documents and while at it referee's who should be account holders at the said bank. Don't be surprised if a birth certificate is required or a letter by your area chief. As if this isn't enough, they will ask you so many questions as if you are prisoner instead of a customer.
By the end of it all and so many days later, you are exhausted and have to wait for the account to be activated, then wait for the ATM card for weeks on end! That was and is still how they operate here, with little or no regard for customer satisfaction. You either put up with them or you take a hike. I will not even go into the loan application process. The thought itself is mind boggling!
While they were in their free money minting zone, they forgot about competition and slept on their laurels. Then one day, a small entity known as Equity Bank came and upset the apple cart and by the time they realised, Equity was amending the game-plan as well as the rules of engagement.
You only needed to fill a form and they would take care of the rest. They take your photo using the latest Motorolla phone or a digital camera in minutes and you have your account up and running! Talk of using the available technology to the maximum.
With the two scenarios, i need not tell you who people decided to walk into if only to spite the old order. Thus, Equity boast a third of all the accounts in the country. With this in mind, i don't think that 1.5M account holders daft to be there. There must be something that equity is doing right.
So when Bonny Khalwale he of the bull-fighting refereeing antics wastes taxpayers money by opening his mouth and demanding that Equity start demanding referees for their new account holders, you can only sympathise with his archaic thought processes. Why, pray i ask, have we cursed ourselves with such a lot full of self-importance that they don't care about the mwananchi trying to make ends meat? I think that as an MP one should try to promote the least bureaucracy if possible to ensure that life goes on and productivity is enhanced. I wouldn't be surprised if that sounds as Greek to him.
That Equity has not responded to him is acknowledges the fact that he deserves to treated with utmost contempt.
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