Mashada Blogs » May 15, 2007

KenyanMusings: 7 Tag, I'm it

Tue, 15 May 2007 16:06:00 -0400

I was tagged by insomniac over here
Smh. What do you not know?
Ok, here goes…

1.
I cannot stand mediocrity or laziness. In every sense of the word. Male or female. I cannot stand people who are happy to be average or ordinary or just ‘there’ and no, that is not the same as ‘she never dates broke men’. I have seen rich people whose minds do shiet for me, but I like to look at a man and know that, in 5 years, he will be somewhere because I would hate to have someone dragging me down with them into their little shite pit of normal.
I like to date people whose mind is bigger than mine by FAR. I hate feeling like I get stupider a little more each day, LOL so I cannot date anyone who is less focused or less ambitious than I am because it would totally kill me, irritate me and I will most likely go ‘wtf do you do with your life?” and I end up really never letting them know much about my life, my plans, my accomplishments because feh! Waste of time, plus you are so not helping my life with that normal of yours.
I like to be around people who are bigger than themselves and I can see what they want for their lives. I prefer workaholics who are extremely busy and I do not like people who fumble around before they can actually figure out what their life’s purpose is.
I like documents in Arial 10 or I won’t review them, I like courteous emails. I cannot stand shit grammar. I really really hate it when people do not spell check or when they talk funny or write funny in bad grammar or like ‘wtf, did you go to school like ever? what are you trying to say?’
I cannot stand people who engage in verbal or physical abuse with others. I find it awfully crass and classless. There are so many things that people do that I find totally out of taste, and I have made several enemies for telling them that. I do not know you from my garbage. Deal

2.
I am extremely focused professionally, and on most days, I am a workaholic who is very good at her field of expertise, and loves children to bits. Not mine, other people's. And I like juggling things. Running my little shit consultancy and my job. It gets overwhelming sometimes, but I still love it. The stress. And I absolutely loving training people on ‘what I train people on’ in my free time.I like it when people listen to me, when I say something that changes the way they see or do things. If I stopped everything else now, I think I would still love to sit and train people and then some or just simply pick up all the children in the street and keep them safe, happy and warmest. I know its so bollocks right now, but I dream of winning a Nobel one day. *hides face*. Yes, I do, go on, scoff at me.

3.
Most people think and say I’m a b**** or a snob, while in fact I am one of the sweetest people you will find. LOL. Ma. Swear! I'm like the epitome of sweetness as long as we are friends. I really don’t care. I think I know who I am, and the people who matter to me do. There are things I will not do, there are people I will not date, there are clubs you would have to kill me before I walk into and I make no apologies for it, there are clothes I will not wear, there are drinks I will not touch, there is music I will not listen to, there is a way in which I will not speak, there is a level below which I can not stoop even if I tried. My mother brought me up in a certain way and she would be very upset with me if she even suspected me of being anything but that.

4.
I cannot stand the thought of being poor. Poverty scares me. I am a financial control freak. I like to have everything in check, all my insurances in order, all my investments in order, to be able to eat what I want, to go out when I like… so I had to learn, from my brother to be very financially savvy. I think. I spend my money badly when its shoes or clothes involved, but I have a plan by which I run my finances and financial advisors a.k.a boyfriend and brother who do a great job of letting me know what direction to take. It has taken me a while and a lot of sacrifice to make big decisions like home ownership and make very many financial decisions, of which I am very proud.

5.
I love gifts. I love to be spoiled. My parents, my siblings, my friends, my boyfriend all spoil me and I love it. Anything, even shells from the Coast, the ones you listen for the sea, I will take. I only have a problem taking extravagant gifts from my boyfriend. I don’t fault him. I suppose that is what you would do for your girlfriend if you had money for it, I wish I could just take it ugh! and save myself the hassle! but it’s such an easy way out and that is absolutely unlike me and he knows and understands that. Then of course the, what if we break up, then what? Do I take them back? Ok fiiine, he pays for all my non-work related trips and the shopping, LOL *snigger*. And yes, he bought my home theatre. There! Go on. Judge me. Psssssst, this one is not bothered about judgement.

6.
I am extremely hot tempered and suffer from road rage. It takes a while to annoy me because usually I laugh at everything. I am a laugher, from a laughing family, its all I do. Laugh. I stretch myself to limits before I burn bridges, but when my patience runs out, usually I'm done. I shiver, get the shakes and cry of fury when I am angry, and I am completely unable to speak because I am crying and days later I will still be thinking about it and how I should have swung you a fist or something, and then I will start getting worked up again.

7
I hate when people snore. Auuuiiiiii, stab me in the back. *smh* My boyfriend? King Snorer Master Flexx!!!. Deep, long and hard until he startles himself and starts laughing. Its so annoying. Half the night I'm nudging him to roll over so he can stop. If I get into bed before he does, he will tiptoe around so as not to wake me up, yet still wake me up with his snoring. Its so upsetting that I had to get ear plugs to shut him out, and I love him to bits and everything, but aiiii!!!

Me, Life & Everything: Uganda here i come, and other stories…

aegeus — Tue, 15 May 2007 12:26:18 -0400

time: 2026hrs length: relative mood: appreciative stars: plenty at: home level: seven ngoma: she is like the wind - lumidee feat tony sunshine, unexpected I have been trawling the net and by great good fortune i stumbled on a vibrant community of bloggers from Uganda and i have been totally enthralled. I thought i would be lost since blogging tends to [...]

Kenyanentrepreneur.com: [nt]

kenyanentrepreneur — Tue, 15 May 2007 12:11:45 -0400

Kenyanentrepreneur.com: I Demand To Know….

kenyanentrepreneur — Tue, 15 May 2007 12:06:57 -0400

Where? tell me now! wapi? ……(because that’s where the money is!) I have to figure out this demand conundrum before I put any money down into this new venture that I want to try out. So, I found this tool yesterday that will give you a general idea of what people are looking for in the [...]

assidous: NATION MEDIA LEARNING PROGRAMME

Tue, 15 May 2007 10:06:00 -0400

East and Central Africa leading media house NMG has started a programme aimed at not only bringing professionalism in the media but one that will see that the media house has a constant and consistent supply of reliable human resource at their disposal. It will be used to expose university and college students to business and journalism for a period of one year. This is in line with NMG’s strategy to make it the Leading Media for Africa.

There will also be mentorship programmes carried out by senior editors as well as reporters.

Indeed, this is one way that the media house will revolutionise the industry in Kenya.

Amid the scandals surrounding the management, they have their priorities right.

The results of the venture will be seen in the coming years. Undoubtedly, this is a long term project.

Mentalacrobatics: Booty Call tariff

Mentalacrobatics — Tue, 15 May 2007 09:45:06 -0400

Mobile phone operator Celtel Kenya has launched the market’s lowest tariff, which retails at a low Sh6 per minute on per second billing.

The company says the new tariff, called Mambo 6, that begins on Monday, will cover between 11pm and 5am every day.

11PM to 5Am???

Forget Mambo 6 this is the Booty Call tariff.
You heard it here first.

(Just drinking Sprite, telling it as it is!)

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Kenyan Pundit: Gabi at 9 weeks

Ory Okolloh — Tue, 15 May 2007 09:17:21 -0400

Gabi 9 weeks1 Originally uploaded by ateka. She’s growing so fast! Pic was taken 3 weeks ago.

Me I LOve NAirobi REgardless - MILONARE: Sir John’s Sojourn aka BILAS train

Tue, 15 May 2007 07:45:00 -0400

SJS aka BItter LAck of Servicing train

Assi! Two posts in two days. Yenyewe this time Im spending in Kericho is working blog wonders on me!!!

This is a tribute to the perennial patrons of the BT whom I shall not name (Shiroh the veteran, Mocha, Nick, Aco, Gish and as of recently Henny).

Prelude
Sir John – of the "John, nampenda John" fame. The one-eyed, blind snake.
Sojourn – a temporary stay.

SJS/BT Definition
The SJS or BT (sometimes called NimeChill) is a metaphor for involuntary and unwelcome exile to the land of no booty wherein the said exile will claim that it was out of choice, they are cool with it and they don’t miss getting a lil som som, yada yada – yeah right!!!

SJS/BT Usage
The Bilas Train, syntactically, exists in various forms:

“It’s Bilas…” – expressive form used to explain the state one is in (often in response to the query "Are you getting any?")
“On the Bilas Train” – a statement of status when asked about one’s coital status. (Usually accompanied by a sulky or scowling facial expression.)
“Off the Bilas Train!!” – a statement of glee when one disembarks from said train. (Exclamation marks for emphasis; as one is usually in a euphoric state by then).

SJS/BT Profile
It is quite easy to spot those on the BT. Gender plays a big role in this so I shall differentiate the characteristics accordingly:

Female BT:

Not uncommon to witness them peeling the labels of their Black/Smirnoff Ice at the club – mimicking the undressing they so desperately crave LOL
They characteristically walk with an extra swish and sway of the hips as they wiggle past you and immediately throw a glance backwards to catch you in the act of watching them
They giggle heartily at your jokes (no matter how dry and bland) ending each giggle with a slight touch or brush of your hand/shoulder/thigh
Extra effort is made to give window-shoppers a better view of the items on display/offer/discount i.e. dropping hanky and slowly bending over to pick said hanky, pushing of chest forward with a shimmy as if shaking a kayamba

Male BT:

Loudly and verbosely declaring their comfort in said state all the time making a mental note of all females who declare the same
Always busy discussing their bedroom prowess whenever a female is within earshot
Been known to reflexively grab/scoop/manhandle a gals rear as she walks past
Dance too close to the ladies on the dance-floor grinding their pelvises/pelvi/many-pelvis against the poor damsel
Tend to squirm/fidget when the discussion of masturbating comes up as they are, more likely than not, the most recent participants of the selfsame act

Trainees - mtajitetea mkiwa upande gani??

Kikuyumoja's realm: Africa!

kikuyumoja — Tue, 15 May 2007 06:17:09 -0400

Pan-Africanism is… when you save & share your bookmarks via del.icio.us and come across recommended tags by other users who have already saved that page, tagging it with the word “Africa” when it comes to describing websites from e.g. Kenya.

Africa, nothing else but Africa.

(to be continued…)

bankelele: History Repeats

Tue, 15 May 2007 05:59:00 -0400

It is now acknowledged that commercial banks have put the ghost of bad debts behind them and have moved on to new clean lending books. However a lot of the decline in non-performing assets can be attributed to an increase in the overall loan book (not really a decline)

Also, the future may not be without a repeat if you fast forward two years from now when a fraction of the unsecured loans being hawked at anyone with a pay slip now will likely have gone bad. With the passage of the in duplum rule banks have to cut their losses and begin collection efforts as soon as they realise a loan is in trouble.

But the courts are clogged and it is difficult to collect from unsecured loans as there are no assets to recover and where the amounts being pursued are not worth the legal cost in money and time.

Other recent happenings

- Diamond Trust (Kenya) to participate in rights issue of Diamond Trust Tanzanian where it owns 33%
- Equity bank growth getting super heated?
- Family Bank is Kenya’s newest bank
- Housing finance new product for first time homeowners
- Kenya Commercial Bank gets a new CEO
- Perennial loss maker Oriental bank (formerly Delphis) is on track for a profit this year following a restructuring deal at Miwani Sugar.